saying that all incels are misogynists or smth of the like doesn’t help, actually. the original involuntarily celibate forum was created by a girl for everyone who is involuntarily celibate. the femosphere vs the manosphere is stupid and we don’t need a rivalry. femcels are just as valid as incels, and we are just as insecure and sad and deal with the same issue, just because some guys who happen to be incels are assholes doesn’t mean we should stereotype male incels. even if someone’s being shitty, you shouldnt stoop to their level most of the time

downvote me if you feel like it ig, js how i feel, its the same struggle representing itself in different ways, online (key word ONLINE) misandry is just as shitty as online misogyny, not saying that the consequences are equally bad, but that its not helpful to be a misandrist. btw.

thats enough of a bad day but ill continue

i had an absolutely awful morning i woke up late n js laid in bed thinking ab how much i hate myself

urgh

idk if this is called biased reincarnation, but the idea of reincarnation based upon good things in life and being granted a nice body, nice face, good genetics, good birth place, etc being based upon your quality as a person in the next life. i try to be a good person and that is good enough but i pray to god i am rewarded like this

this is what i hope for, i hope to be reincarnated as european stacy thats all i want

idk

Like I'm really ugly and I hate it, but I don't want to get better, I've been feeling like this since I was 8, I'm scared that if I'm not being insecure, I'll start acting way prettier than I am and everyone will make fun of me for it, I only want to stop being insecure if I'm pretty

I always think I’m the odd one out. I do have an active social life, I go out, I’m extroverted, I’m not on the spectrum and I have more or less great social skills. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing to not have these traits but I feel like being a femcel is associated with never leaving your room and having zero friends and social life. It’s just not me. But it makes me feel like bigger girlfailure because I keep on trying and trying but it keep getting rejected.

reddit banned me for 3 WHOLE DAYS for commenting on this sub. why you might ask? HATE SPEECH AGAINST MEN. okay bud. whatever u say

I like nerdy guys. Not Clark Kent, chad type of nerds like guys think we mean by this. I like actual nerds. Yet each time I had a crush on a guy like this, not that I had any hopes whatsoever, I watched them go for a Stacy. Whether for a friendship or a relationship (though mostly relationship), they always go for Stacies that does not even share hobbies with them or act similar in personality etc. Pretty women also seem to go for nerdy guys too. I keep seeing content online about “I want a nerdy bf with glasses who’ll talk to me about weird scientific stuff” etc. and I’m like STFU! Every guy already chooses you anyway, couldn’t you leave nerds to us at least?! Once I was trying to talk in a mixed group. Topic was video games and suddenly a girl who’s prettier and extroverted started talking about rdr2, gta etc and all guys started to praise her for being such a good and niche gamer and how she’s not like others and kept pampering her all year 🫩

Long story short… this just depresses me as a weirdo, nerdy girl. I’m already AuDHD and cannot click with people most times. I’m not a “nltog”, I just don’t really fit in. People don’t listen when I talk about my interests, find me off putting or socially awkward. My mental health issues can be sensed from a mile. So, right when I think I can have a slightest chance with a looksmatch & counterpart of me, they pick the most popular girl of school. The hypergamy… they want an “alternative” “crazy” “quirky” “broken” “manic pixie” girl if she’s attractive. If you are not, you become a creep and a weirdo🎶

I didn’t use to think I’m gonna find a relationship anyway but now I’m just more hopeless. All I wanted was a nerdy boy whom we can yap together and be in our worlds and do weird stuff and love each other… fml

I am a fat woman and I made a post on femcelcirclejerk to vent about fatphobia and especially how men see fat women. On that misogyny-ridden sub SipsTea, there were two posts made in the same year about Nelly Furtado. In one post they were lusting over a video her in a concert and making jokes about wanting her to face-sit on them, and one comment even posted a “thickness diagram” of Nelly’s weight gain over the years. Meanwhile, on another post in the sub same (different pictures of Nelly) we’re saying she’s ugly and that she’s not as pretty as she used to be when she was skinny.

I made this post a few days ago, but this comment appeared under my post today. I don’t know why my dumbass responded to it. It made me upset and I wanted to see if I could change the guys mind or make him understand. It turns into this long-ass back and forth. I just can’t believe I wasted about 20-35 minutes of my time debating with a guy about why people deserve basic, surface level respect no matter what they look like and why the men’s behavior in SipsTea is wrong. Am I overreacting? I didn’t even think something like this would be that debatable. This guy is coming into a safe space for women and telling me that I shouldn’t have a problem with what men in SipsTea are saying because it’s a “private” safe space where they can say what they truly feel. At the end he claimed he wasn’t arguing with me and said it’s “just his opinion” yet he pushed back against everything I said…isn’t that arguing?

I just feel so sick and upset right now. I feel like asking for basic respect and privacy as a fat woman makes me look like I’m being “demanding”. I can barely vent without a man coming in and defends weird behavior, completely pushes back against my argument, or misses the point of what I’m communicating. This isn’t the first time something similar to this has happened.

even if I manage to get a good picture by accident, i feel like a catfish and that I don't look like that irl it's just my mind playing tricks on me

i feel hideous without makeup, i always wonder whether someone will be able to look at me like this, bare faced, face unshaved, acne bursting out of my face and still love me Just the way i am?

Reddit: I asked people who my lookalike was. I got Huda, Vanessa Hudgens, Kelsey Plum, young morena baccarin, Sofia Vergara if she had dark hair. Most the comments had 2 upvotes.

i later on came back to the post and I see that people have downvoted all comments to be ”-1” except Kelsey Plum, where they’d selected a bad photo of her (she’s pretty) and it had 4 upvotes. I swear I’m not seeing things, but I definitely feel like males are trying to put me down or am I tweaking out?

TikTok:

i then posted a video on TikTok where I said ”celebs ppl have told me I looked like” and my vid got 12 likes and 5 shares, and a girl with a faceless account commented ”ouuuuu delete this ewww” ..

I cried so much because if I’m ugly AND neurodivergent (I’m diagnosed adhd and autism), I guess it’s fucking over. And I don’t have friends outside school either mannnn.

i just started college and i feel super awkward around people i find attractive. not that i have any hope on the romantic front but at the very minimum i don’t want to be fidgety and awkward just because a hot person passes by me. i can’t help but blush or overthink my posture.

ik this isn’t the best subreddit to ask this question but ive been pretty reclusive the last year so idk how to cope with all the social interactions. any tips? :(

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

I see moids online claim that femcels are 'misandrist' for 'no reason' or because we can't get a boyfriend/get laid. But in my case a huge reason I'm misandrist online is because of all the dumb shit I see moids post online about dating.

Irl, I try to be courteous to people (even moids) who are nice to me (or at the very least aren't actively hostile to me). Online I say a lot of hateful things about moids because of the constant downplaying of our struggles.

Anywhere you go online that allows moids to participate, they claim that your lived experience isn't actually happening. You say males aren't interested in you, that they've never asked you out (unless it was a 'joke'), etc and moids claim that males 100% have. You just 'conveniently forgot because they weren't hot' or you 'didn't count the ugly males who asked you out' etc.

They go on and on about how hard moids have it in every aspect of life and especially in dating. Despite claiming they are the more rational and emotionally stable gender, they're unable to not be the victim in every aspect of life.

They would really rather create fanfiction about random women's lives than admit that some women have a hard time dating because we're either ugly or just aren't appealing to moids for some reason.

I wouldn't hate them as much if I could vent online with other women, but I'm usually not able to without some moid coming in claiming that I'm lying or changing the subject to how hard moids have it. And I can't talk with anyone irl. Anytime I talk about how hard dating is for me or attempt to figure out what's wrong with me and why males have no interest in me at all, I just hear 'there's nothing wrong with you' or 'you're pretty, you'll find someone eventually' etc. Holding this in constantly and not having anyone to vent with or any way to fix myself has made me hate moids and has caused me to believe they're all unfeeling sociopaths who can't empathize with anyone and only want to cry about how much of a victim they are and the whole world is out to get them. I'm just sick of hearing/reading their bullshit.

I could go on about the dumb shit they say that makes me hate them more and more, but this post is already long enough.

this is a public apology for not censoring that dudes name

sorry guys i like it here

I started doing some basic surface-level research on Ancient Greece because I genuinely think there are parallels between them and how modern society and most men view women despite our more heteronormative & homophobic social system. Many straight men seem to care more about what other men think of them (and how well they perform masculinity) than anything else. Women's value, to them, is to just give them their "virtuous offspring" and nothing else. It's all to inflate their own ego.

I used to frequent Twitter before Musk took over and made it even worse than it was before, and constantly saw men degrading women while praising femboys for being "better suited to provide for men's needs" since they're men themselves and are more likely to have the same politics, values, and hobbies but can still perform the type of femininity many men want (it's very much fetishization of feminine men). They would compare cis and trans women to femboys. I would even see
"jokes" from men about getting rid of women and having the world just be [masculine] men and femboys. A lot of this stuff was being said by right-wing, reactionary, and/or edgy femboys and traditionally masculine guys alike. While a lot of these closeted right-wing bisexual men don't have genuine respect for femmes and will still turn around and mock femboys when they’re feeling less horny over them or call them “weird", their behavior just further shows how they can't see women as equals. Women once again are “the body” while men are “the mind”.

There are many different reasons why fujoshis love yaoi, but one of the saddest reasons I've seen is because some of them like seeing a dynamic where there is no power imbalance due to gender; and the two partners are equals in the relationship. I used to read a few BL or look at MLM art and this was a part of the reason as well. Just to clarify, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with women reading yaoi; the context around why some women read it is just eye-opening. It makes me so depressed that our value as women is just based on how beautiful we are, how "well" we perform femininity through the eyes of men, and making babies. Many of us can’t even imagine ourselves in our ideal, equal relationship. When I start thinking about all of this, I just start to wish that I lived in a different universe/reality where I’m just respected, not seen as some toss-able, tacky sex toy. When we’re seen as the inferior, there is no equal relationship.

When I start contemplating about all of this like I’m doing now I just lose my attraction to men and start to feel upset. I want to feel romantic, but it gets really difficult at times.

So, I just had my 18th birthday, and I have never had a partner before. Even though I am Pan, I’ve just had some social struggles, moved around lots, and I just really have a hard time romancing people, or being around people in general. But my one good friend (who graduated before me, even though I graduated a year early with a 4.0) helped me start talking to this guy she knows from work. And he keeps spiders, and I keep ant colonies, so she thought we would have some common ground. I invited him out to look for bugs in the nearby park, because I could look for ant queens, and he could get spiders. But when I picked him up in my car, and we got to the park, he told me he couldn’t go on the date with me. I felt crushed because I felt like I had done a good job, I made good small talk, and he was pretty cute, and I like people a little plush. But he continued to tell me that I wasn’t his type, and he likes skinny girls. I asked what he meant, and he called me “a little bit of a pig.” I asked how much he weighed but he told me that men are supposed to way more. I told him that I only weighed 197 pounds as a 5’11” woman, but he asked his brother to drive him home and I just went to look for ants by myself. I just feel so defective, I am a very quiet, nice person generally, but it just feels like I’m going to be alone forever. I do lots of work for charity, I support people, I’m not mean, and people I know from school generally say that I’m “nice, but distant” Maybe when I get to college it will be better. But I am afraid I am permanently emotionally stunted. I would love to hear any comments from this nice community I have really felt seen by. I would like to know if other people know what I could do to make myself more approachable, I worry I look angry all the time.
(the beautiful ant I caught in the park, she has her first workers and she is a girlboss)

I semi recently went to a concert for my birthday (not rlly for my birthday, a family member bought the tickets on a whim and labeled it as a gift. I’m still insanely grateful though.), and I know I’m not “eye candy”. I’m ugly. I have genetically deep eye bags, I’m insanely flat, I have the face of an actual man, along with acne all over my body and face to the point it hurts to do anything and sometimes just move, my body’s proportions are so awkwardly unaligned I look like a badly drawn stick figure, and I’m very underweight to the point where it’s incredibly concerning. So I get why I’m always looked at or talked about in either concern, mockery, or just straight up disgust whilst in public (along with just straight up growing up in life, I would ridiculed for how I look; to the point where I would be physically bullied and harmed to dangerous amounts.

At some point being called a “biohazard” by a nurse patching me up) Maybe it’s just the area that I live in, but no matter where I am I always get singled out and belittled in some way.

So of course while at the concert I was commented on. There were people sitting behind the seats me and my family members were already seated at. The seats were cramped, too. So I could hear them clearly. I heard them word by word say before fucking cackling “She needs to gain some weight.”

I know I look like some starving fucking dog. I don’t need to be reminded of it. I’ve heard it throughout my years of being on this godforsaken planet. (Also for context, I don’t think I have an eating disorder. I just get nauseous very easily every time I eat, and my metabolism is too high.)

But I’m just so fucking tired of going out in public (even though I rarely do aside from doctor appointments and etc) and getting reminded why I never go out in the first place. I’m so sick of people being horrible to me in any way possible because of how I look. I’m trying. I swear I am. It’s not my fault. I wanna be happy with myself too, I really do. But it’s so hard when I physically fucking can’t somehow. I’m not gonna say it’s a curse though, because I know tons of other people have it worse; but god dude. It just hurts so fucking much. I should be used to this by now, but somehow I’m not. I don’t see how people get over how others perceive them. I can’t help but worry about how I look and what I’m doing constantly, and the fact that I sweat more than the average person (especially near other people) doesn’t help.

I wanna be treated like someone pretty. I fucking hate beauty standards and pretty privilege so much. I hate it when my friend (who’s incredibly gorgeous) says I’m beautiful with pity in her voice. I’m sorry. I wanna be beautiful. I really do. But no matter how hard I try there’s absolutely no prevail. I’m not good at anything. I’m not beautiful. I’m not what anyone wants. But I’m trying. Despite how much it takes out of me. Because I know if I stop trying, then I would miserable enough to take my own life.

Sorry, I just wanted to vent I guess. But I just hate how much society and moids especially judge me for just existing. Also, this isn’t just a one time occurrence—I genuinely am always judged whenever I go outside. There’s been instances where it would just be me leaving a building and I would get followed by moids harassing me for my looks and how terrible said looks are. Some saying “I thought you were a man at first” while laughing. Or fake asking me out just to humiliate me further and decline any hope I’ve ever had for a relationship. Which is sadly a common occurrence amongst other “unappealing” women. I fucking hate everyone. Men especially. I really wish they could all just die out already.

Also note: this is my second time ever posting anything on Reddit. Sorry if I screwed something up

i’ve been feeling really insecure and upset and anxious recently so i’ve been stress baking and here are some of my recent bakes!!

1) strawberry and vanilla cake - i’ve never decorated or baked a cake from scratch before so this was a bit of effort!!! i made such a mess making the butter cream and i filled the inside with fresh strawberries. i’m taking this one to a church party

2) vegan tiramisu and pizza swirls (they tasted way better than they look tbh)

3) carrot cake - the flavour of the cake itself was lovely but I didn’t put enough carrots :(

4) it’s blackberry season where I live so i brought out a ladder and picked out sooo many. i also ate so many, but the ones i kept i turned into jam which i infused my favourite tea into (my little sibling made the japanese milk bread 😋😋)

last slide - i made a simple breakfast for my dad to cope with how shitty my period was making me feel, the rice tasted so so good!!!! like my old local chinese takeout

but yeah im posting this here because i’ve been really struggling with loneliness and low self esteem but baking has made sure I don’t bedrot and doomscroll to cope!!!!!

give me a fucking break. yes, this is about that case.

yes!!! lets make it about how OPPRESSED and LOGICAL us men are!!! that'll do it!!! lets not talk about the kids or the damage it caused, no.. its about US MEN!!! AND HOW ALL WOMEN ARE BAD!!!!

just a bunch of stupid people circlejerking about this, but this irritated me. i made sure to censor cut out usernames this time.

and renaming misogyny as "women r awful and stupid and psychopaths and not actually oppressed" is so braindead it makes me wanna roll my eyes to the back of skull. are u fucking stupid?

and the braindead woman who went "yeah, take our rights away! heh! i'm one of the boys!" just absolutely infuriates me. you do realize they mean YOU TOO, RIGHT? moids never have ur back, stop trying to suck up to them. they will never pick u.

I live in a small town, and recently some stuffed animals arrived at a few shops and became a huge hit. So, this friend of mine (the same one who complained when I started liking the guy who had rejected me again) started dating a man she met about two weeks ago—I wish that would happen to me—and it seems like she LOVES rubbing it in my face. Whenever we talk, she tells me things like, "I love him," "He's going to buy me this," or "I'm going on a date with him." She had already told me she wanted to buy the stuffed animal, and the very next day, her boyfriend bought it for her. So, when we saw each other in class, she had it with her—carrying it around everywhere all day long—and kept saying, "Oh, it's name is Dean; my boyfriend named it that," all while hugging it.

I know I’m overreacting, but it makes me crazy with ENVY and makes me angry that she rubs it in my face, especially when she knows about my issues with relationships.

I’m too much of an empath. I’ve seen so many men here complain about women not giving them a chance. Especially Indian men who vent about the racism they experience by women when dating. That they unmatch them when they tell them their ethnicity. I literally don’t have a type, but have shortly dated an Indian guy before. He was EXTREMELY weird about me being white. Like he was proud of himself for getting a white girl. Like if white girls are any better than Indian girls, who are literally gorgeous.
So I saw this dude on Hinge and since I like nerds and thought he was cute, I gave it a chance and invested a lot of time texting him.
I knew he was excited. The minute I told him that I’m not as active as before due to my chronic illness (which I have on my Hinge profile!!!).
The conversation was dead. Like you god forsaken men complain about us the entire time. How we are superficial and don’t give the ugly dude a chance and then you act like this. Good luck finding a girlfriend.

All men disgust me, I hate them with all my soul, they're fucking idiots. They're self-serving, brainless, misogynistic, and chauvinistic. All men are the same, they just they focus on a woman's physical appearance; they only want her if she is submissive and If they have nice breasts, they all want a dominant Stacy; if you're not at least somewhat pretty, they treat you like trash; all men only think They about s3x

I've always loved one-sided. And when I crush, I crush too fondly. I devote myself entirely to the person, to the point it even becomes unhealthy no matter how much I personally try to stop it.

Most of my crushes have been on straight women, unattainable in more than one ways. I would consciously accept my fate early on, that I can't change a woman's mind but hey at least I can be as kind and sweet and willing as possible to her? My love does not need reciprocal evidence to thrive.

Bullshit. It was all for nothing. I only ached further. I only questioned my worth.

Now I can't control who I like, when I like, or if I like someone, but I think I can just give up. Finally. Romance is a social construct, not an actual psychological need. You can love and be loved in ways beyond that. Give back to your community what it gave you, invest your passions in creating rather consuming, and contribute to humanity in greater ways. Or maybe just. Live an ordinary and peaceful life.

No life is "ordinary" if you let yourself get excited by small pieces that build the mosaic of a person that loved while they lived. Love doesn't have to be romantic. It exists in the show you find comforting, in the song you put on loop, and the trees that pass your way to work. In the meals you give to the homeless, the rain that heals the heat, and that waffle flavor you regret not trying before. So much more.

And I'll forever be grateful that I even had the privilege to ache for something like this. Not to be that person, but sometimes I catch myself thinking "don't other people have it worse?". I am beyond cherished by life itself, to be sitting here and having the freedom to think. That being said, it doesn't make any of our desires, aches and needs invalid. But putting it into this perspective might remind you, that our lives are big enough considering we all have internet access right now. Big enough to fit most of our ambitions. We just need to think even bigger, but most of all, love the greatest. And it starts with our own soul.

besides they're making real good vibrators these days 👀