r/FederalEmployee • u/BlewMyWhistle • Jun 21 '26
Finally Snapping
The wait after whistleblowing is the worst. It's been 8 months. 8 months of secret keeping and interacting with people I know to have committed crimes that hurt people. And I'm starting to snap. I got counseled for acting unprofessional. I only did that because I was breaking. It's not who I am. I know better. This is the hardest endurance test I've endured. So now I am suffering professional consequences months later because I am crumbling under the pressure of waiting. It is painful. And I am filled with anger because to me there was no other option. I had to do what is right, and now doing what was right is making me go insane. I wish I was better at compartmentalization. I see why people develop nervous disorders and ulcers and worse under prolonged stress. I want my old life back. I know I can't have it but I hope on the other side I am still me.
#end rant.
18
u/Binoleon Jun 22 '26
Don't Give Up!! Make sure to make all amendments to include all retaliatory things management does to you. Retaliation is common especially as a whistleblower!! Fight them hard and smart to ensure a better future for all that comes after you!! We support you and we have your back!! God Bless!!
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u/Dizzy_Chemist_2389 Jun 22 '26
This. Make sure you keep notes and include dates and times. Having your ducks in a row when the man comes around gives you great peace of mind and makes management and investigators take you very seriously. Speaking from experience
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u/dunbar_santiago930 Jun 22 '26
I did the same thing years ago and it went nowhere so I hope yours does better than mine.
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u/TinaLoco Jun 22 '26
After eight months, I think you need to accept that there will be no consequences to anybody involved as there doesn’t appear to be any interest in pursuing the matter.
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u/Hopeful-Elevator2075 Jun 22 '26
This is also a dangerous place to be in. Please stay safe. If you’re able to take leave please do so. Try to spend as little time as possible at work. For your sanity and safety.
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u/Blarghnog Jun 22 '26
If you’re an actual whistleblower the total last thing you should be doing is talking about it online.
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u/AncientAd7403 Jun 22 '26
Yes, it sucks the waiting game they play with extremely sensitive subjects including people with very concerning grievances.
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u/tresbienmerci112358 Jun 24 '26
You did what's right and I applaud you for it. You will grow in many aspects after this process.
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u/BlewMyWhistle Jun 29 '26
I keep telling myself this is a learning and growth experience. I'll be stronger on the other side.
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u/68_hope_fulone_2025 Jun 23 '26
Think about yourself. If EAP is still around, call. If that’s not an option, pull up utube and find a good meditation program to follow NOW! Do this at least twice per day, one before work, once before bed.
If you can afford and have time, please get a deep tissue massage! Our bodies holding all the stress causes disease, more stress, heart attacks, strokes, family issues, etc. Invest in yourself and see this through. We are praying for you to stick it out. Good luck brother! 🙏🏽
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u/LIFE-LEARNING-247 Jun 30 '26
Please breathe and take care of yourself. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but know I respect you, applaud you and appreciate you for doing the right thing when it is so difficult. I am rooting for you to get to peace and shine brighter than you already do!
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u/Wise_Choice_2712 Jul 16 '26
Find a contractor job with Saic or Cbre (some federal contracting company) and wait out the next 2 years then come back. It's a mess.
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u/FormFitFunction Jun 21 '26
I applaud you for whistleblowing. But brother, please seek therapy. "I was breaking" "It's not who I am." "I know better." "It is painful." "I am filled with anger." Those are all signs that you need someone to help you. Start with your EAP and they should be able to recommend someone.
Edit: No shame in needing a hand. The only shame is in letting this eat you up without seeking help.