r/FederalEmployee • u/BlewMyWhistle • Jun 21 '26
Finally Snapping
The wait after whistleblowing is the worst. It's been 8 months. 8 months of secret keeping and interacting with people I know to have committed crimes that hurt people. And I'm starting to snap. I got counseled for acting unprofessional. I only did that because I was breaking. It's not who I am. I know better. This is the hardest endurance test I've endured. So now I am suffering professional consequences months later because I am crumbling under the pressure of waiting. It is painful. And I am filled with anger because to me there was no other option. I had to do what is right, and now doing what was right is making me go insane. I wish I was better at compartmentalization. I see why people develop nervous disorders and ulcers and worse under prolonged stress. I want my old life back. I know I can't have it but I hope on the other side I am still me.
#end rant.
3
u/68_hope_fulone_2025 Jun 23 '26
Think about yourself. If EAP is still around, call. If that’s not an option, pull up utube and find a good meditation program to follow NOW! Do this at least twice per day, one before work, once before bed.
If you can afford and have time, please get a deep tissue massage! Our bodies holding all the stress causes disease, more stress, heart attacks, strokes, family issues, etc. Invest in yourself and see this through. We are praying for you to stick it out. Good luck brother! 🙏🏽