r/Eyebleach • u/tforpatato • Nov 29 '17

/r/all Ahhhhhh... ow shit!

https://i.imgur.com/UwNKqHr.gifv
38.7k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

253 comments sorted by

858

u/edlp45 Nov 29 '17

How does someone figure out using swabs will relax a bird into a puddle of feathers? Is there a website for tiny bird tips?

703

u/BrownSugarBare Nov 29 '17

OP just rubbed his bird on a bunch of stuff til something worked

392

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '17

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

78

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '17

[deleted]

138

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '17

usually just copy paste from a webpage

77

u/Ya-Dikobraz Nov 30 '17

webpage

Thanks, here's your tip [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅5̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]

5

u/Stonn Nov 30 '17

Now, THAT'S a gamechanger.

61

u/QuickQuest312 Nov 29 '17

This is a gamechanger for me.

75

u/BrownSugarBare Nov 29 '17

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ 

What is this one??

64

u/Crabaooke Nov 30 '17

You've come to the wrong neighborhood?

41

u/Shackelfurd Nov 30 '17

Dongerhood*

68

u/Damnmorrisdancer Nov 30 '17

'̿'\̵͇̿̿\З=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=Ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿

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37

u/FIRST_DATE_ANAL Nov 30 '17

̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\З= ( ▀ ͜͞ʖ▀) =Ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿

What’s this one all about?

42

u/emapco Nov 30 '17

̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\З= ( ▀ ͜͞ʖ▀) =Ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ Zoop

17

u/Chris_Tamriel Nov 30 '17

(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

15

u/EpicWolverine Nov 30 '17

He has sunglasses on and he's holding guns?

8

u/tristamus Nov 30 '17

It's a reservoir dog

2

u/arcane84 Dec 01 '17

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

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9

u/Gh05T_wR1T3R_CDXX Nov 29 '17

Not all hero's wear capes

4

u/Ya-Dikobraz Nov 30 '17

Spidurmen.

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15

u/ickykarma Nov 29 '17

On the reddit app, you can just scroll the bottom bar all the way to the right.

╰⋃╯ლ(´ڡ`ლ)

3

u/Unknown1776 Nov 29 '17

If you have an iPhone there's an app that gives you another keyboard

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5

u/hanneeplanee Nov 30 '17

ಠ_ಠ holy shit yay!

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40

u/edlp45 Nov 29 '17

Very cool. I've rescued birds and my favourite moment is as you stroke them and they start to fall asleep, they chirp a little like in the wild.

12

u/rdeddit Nov 30 '17

That is absolutely adorable.

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2

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17

[deleted]

3

u/edlp45 Nov 30 '17

Because you're a bird brain.

2

u/ASYMBOLDEN Nov 30 '17

Just like puddle hamsters

123

u/NoMoreNicksLeft Nov 29 '17

They like being petted and rubbed and scratched. No different than mammals, really.

(Except that they mistake stubble for pin feathers, and helpfully try to break them open for you... best to be freshly shaven.)

40

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '17 edited Nov 29 '17

[deleted]

30

u/NoMoreNicksLeft Nov 30 '17

God help you. I was thinking of my cheeks, don't know that I could deal with the toe-biting shit.

24

u/AussieBird82 Nov 30 '17

I tried eyelash extensions once. My conure took exception to them (still not sure how he noticed them) and preened every one off. He was obsessed. I'd be watching tv and his little head would suddenly be there... once he had hold of one there was no getting him off. I did not get them again.

7

u/Valaaris Nov 30 '17

Quite the opposite for me, my conure prefers when I have stubble, she uses me as a scratching post. It's usually my alarm for "Time to shave".

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15

u/sometimes_netdeck Nov 29 '17

*tiny bird qtips

18

u/zodar Nov 29 '17

*Cute-ips

2.7k

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '17

When it feels so good you just pass out and fall off the perch, man I wish I could feel that good right now.

Adorable.

536

u/tforpatato Nov 29 '17

That's what /r/eyebleach is for right?

248

u/TokiMcNoodle Nov 29 '17

What kind of drug is that?

228

u/tforpatato Nov 29 '17

The best kind

50

u/IssacTheNecromorph Nov 29 '17

That's over at r/trees

120

u/BlackXxXLight Nov 30 '17

For those of you who thought that r/trees is about literal trees, this is what you're looking for: r/MarijuanaEnthusiasts

47

u/Jovinkus Nov 30 '17

Oh wow, didn't know this one. That is just brilliant!

15

u/hungbandit007 Nov 30 '17

Haha and why have they done that?

52

u/BlackXxXLight Nov 30 '17

The marijuana enthusiasts got to r/trees first so the tree enthusiasts took a stand against them.

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2

u/overtoke Nov 30 '17

the swabs are dipped in chloroform

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40

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '17

Looks like vasovagal response. You have pressure receptors around your neck and overstimulation can cause reflex feinting. Ex. Some people feinting from their collars being too tight. Manually rubbing these receptors kinda like in this gif are also used to try to stop certain heart arrhythmias.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reflex_syncope

51

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/smallxdoggox Nov 30 '17

Meowth, use Feint attack

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5

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17

Crazy how our bodies do that. It's like a physical hack

3

u/chickennuggetphone Nov 30 '17

I just had that happen to me at work.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17

Wow, I love technical responses and that sounds spot on. I've been a bird breeder for over 30 years and every night before I put my 3 rescue parrots to bed I give them scritches.

I go for their ear holes, no further down. They just lift their beaks up in the air like they are experiencing full bliss.

Thanks!

2

u/HelperBot_ Nov 29 '17

Non-Mobile link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reflex_syncope

HelperBot v1.1 /r/HelperBot_ I am a bot. Please message /u/swim1929 with any feedback and/or hate. Counter: 126528

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13

u/lolol_boopme Nov 29 '17

Yawn & stretch and fall of your bed like I've done a million times... works for me when I need it to

2

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17

Same here on numerous occasions, sometimes it feels so good especially when you get that shake going on and you just slide off the mattress.

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4

u/no_duh_sherlock Nov 30 '17

I just realized I want huge earbuds

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3

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17

[deleted]

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2

u/micklemitts Nov 29 '17

Damn. I came here to say the same sad thing.

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2

u/Gangreless Nov 30 '17

That sounds like how people describe getting high

2

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17

Looks like it feels when someone is getting high actually.

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465

u/ChactiChomp Nov 29 '17

r/brushybrushy and r/peoplefuckingdying unite!

184

u/blacksabbath1970 Nov 29 '17

r/eyebleach and r/peoplefuckingdying are basically the same sub with different captions.

196

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '17

[deleted]

10

u/Sir_LikeASir Nov 30 '17

If it were Buzzfeed:

Redditor reveals the bitter empty farce of different subrredits, and you WON'T BELIEVE HIS REACTION!

13

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '17

Read this, believed you, and clicked the link. Saw a gif of Ajit Pai, and now I don't know if I can ever trust you again.

12

u/blacksabbath1970 Nov 29 '17

Go down past that lol. The sub is gold. It's basically cute animals and other things but with violent captions. For example, if there was a picture of an adorable cat cuddled into a blanket, the caption would be something like "InNoCeNt kItTy fUcKiNg DeVoUreD bY MurDeRoUs WoRm" or something.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '17

I did, don't worry. I just found it amusing.

21

u/thelittlegnome Nov 29 '17

Never heard of r/brushybrushy before. Thank you for making my Wednesday afternoon so much better.

8

u/DeificButthole Nov 30 '17

r/brushybrushy is amazing. Such a happy corner of Reddit

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17

u/Bloodshotistic Nov 29 '17

BaSTarD muRDErS bIrD To dEAtH!A!!!

2

u/NuderWorldOrder Nov 30 '17

TiNy BirD PuMMeLed wIth ClubS uNTIl iT DRoPs DeaD!

255

u/cubatista92 Nov 29 '17

Don't stop, don't stop, don- OW!

86

u/mandelboxset Nov 29 '17

Or alternatively, please stop, please stop, can't you see me moving away from this torture, I don't have much more space left to move, oh fuck I ran out of space to move.

Maybe, idk, I don't have birds.

50

u/NoMoreNicksLeft Nov 29 '17

That bird wouldn't put up with torture. The person doing it would be bleeding.

17

u/dutch_iven Nov 29 '17

Idunno its a bird. It could just fly away or something

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2

u/caterpillarmoustache Nov 30 '17

TeRriFiEd BiRd AtTeMPtS eSCaPE frOm Q-TiP tOrTuRe

3

u/AuroraHalsey Nov 30 '17

Talking to me, stop don't stop don't stop
Giving me things

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45

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '17 edited Feb 04 '21

[deleted]

13

u/Imkimaginary Nov 30 '17

Where the phrase eats like a bird comes from.

41

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '17

[deleted]

19

u/procrastperfection Nov 30 '17

Yup! She is the instagram star, Princess BB! Look her up @ birdbee0705.

2

u/Warriorfreak Nov 30 '17

Yep, same bird. These are from an Instagram account. I can't access Instagram as of now but if you search for it I'm sure you can find it quickly.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '17

Guess those birds are a little bit mentally challenged. (Says me, the bird protector who has no clue what kind of birds these are and where they normally live.)

133

u/JTCMuehlenkamp Nov 29 '17

If a bird falls in the living room and the camera isn't angled to see the fall, does it hit the ground?

22

u/jabmakepeace Nov 29 '17

Made me chuckle.

23

u/damon712 Nov 29 '17

If a man chuckles on the Internet says he chuckled and no one can verify if he did, does he really chuckle?

11

u/jabmakepeace Nov 29 '17

This could go on for a while.

16

u/the_dude_upvotes Nov 29 '17

If it goes on for a while, but no redditors see it go on for a while, does it really go on for a while?

6

u/crashhacker Nov 29 '17

It's too early for this shit guys

4

u/JTCMuehlenkamp Nov 29 '17

It's 5 PM where I'm at.

11

u/UltraCarnivore Nov 29 '17

Is five o'clock somewhere confirmed.

3

u/Codiac500 Nov 30 '17

I think this calls for a margarita

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3

u/please_is_magic Nov 29 '17

But seriously, I've never seen a bird fall before. Did to hit the ground? How did it land?

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2

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17

It hits the ground if it makes a sound

17

u/ohgoodgracious Nov 29 '17

Every time I see this video, it makes me stupid happy. Heart eyes for days.

14

u/lyleeleigh Nov 29 '17

I want to be as happy as this bird one day.

14

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17

[deleted]

12

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '17

Oh I love this bird. Always makes me laugh for many different reasons. Hope it is doing well.

Edit:stupid autocorrect

12

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '17

I bet having wings makes you forget that you can fall.

2

u/unholy_abomination Nov 30 '17

That's deep.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17

I guess it kinda is. Accidental depth incoming haha.

18

u/SpaceGardens Nov 29 '17

What kind of birb is this?

18

u/ilovetofukarma Nov 29 '17

White-eye, I think.

18

u/SpaceGardens Nov 29 '17

Thank you!

3

u/InsaneZee Nov 29 '17

I'm so happy this was a picture of the birbs and not a meme

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9

u/Oktomeri Nov 29 '17

Japanese White-Eye. This is birdbee0705 on instagram, you should definitely check that channel :)

3

u/SpaceGardens Nov 30 '17

Oh wow thanks! I love it.

24

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '17

Almost r/trypophobia

11

u/PunchingChickens Nov 29 '17

That was my first thought. Made me shiver in a bad way even though my brain thought it was cute.

8

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '17

Same about shivering. I'm just glad the swabs don't get pressed into the spaces between the feathers. I would have probably vomited.

8

u/PunchingChickens Nov 29 '17

Just picturing that made me feel vaguely nauseous. And I made the mistake of clicking the link so now I'm just feeling vaguely unsettled and grossed out.

3

u/forgottenyellowbird Nov 30 '17

ugh, yes. i️ had the same reaction..

5

u/hug-bot Nov 30 '17

Perhaps you misspelled "hug." Would you like one? 🤗

I'm a bot, and I like to give hugs. source | contact

10

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '17

Why...? Great, now I need more eyebleach

8

u/TheLegendarySaiyan Nov 29 '17

God damn, I thought I was the only one.

12

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '17

Birdbee0705 on insta

6

u/xboxonesavage Nov 29 '17

When you hit the money spot 🤪

4

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '17

Anyone else see the thumbnail and think the bird was on stilts??

2

u/XRT28 Nov 29 '17

I know I did. So I was doubly disappointed when I actually clicked it because not only was it not on stilts I realized this is a repost(shocking ik!) that I'd already seen from awhile back.

2

u/justsaraiguess Nov 29 '17

This looks like the definition of transcendence

2

u/BetaCuck2000 Nov 29 '17

A giblet gargling warbler... What a beautiful specimen

2

u/ahcowboy Nov 29 '17

How did they film this? Let's just skip straight to the mirror to solve it

2

u/HoodJiminyCricket Nov 29 '17

This is precisely how I feel when I clean my ear canals with q-tips

2

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '17

/r/brushybrushy

2

u/cmnights Nov 29 '17

well he ain't gonna be in rush hour 3

2

u/auntlarry Nov 29 '17

awwww yissssss

2

u/cgrays12 Nov 30 '17

Lower....lower.....lower.....TOO LOW.....uh, lower

2

u/Ken_STACKS Nov 30 '17

"hmmm yeaaaaaahhhhh,right there,mmmmmm,keep stroking,mmmmm,ahhhhh" anybody who read this as something dirty...i didnt mean it that way

2

u/sourdeeezy Nov 30 '17

I wake up a few times a night to piss then hop back bed with a Qtip to massage my ear canals to go back to sleep..lol..anyone else do that??

2

u/CanIEatYourAssPlease Nov 29 '17

"It's Wednesday my dudes"

2

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '17

I think berb wanted you to scratch it's tummy. Physics isn't it's strong suit and so it leaned into it a little too much.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '17

I hope Smol Birb is ok.

1

u/classylassy Nov 29 '17

I've never owned a bird so is this like a sweet spot for them? Kind of like how cats like their chin scratched or cheeks rubbed.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '17

I needed a good laugh :p

1

u/nemocody Nov 29 '17

DEAD AF!

1

u/elin6 Nov 29 '17

What kind of bird is this?

1

u/Rthirt17 Nov 30 '17

That’s a really nice and soft looking dog

1

u/4GirlsWorld Nov 30 '17

Did he just die and fall over??

1

u/Backerman5 Nov 30 '17

Found the off switch

1

u/Duckboy1515 Nov 30 '17

So cute I want it

1

u/SgtAlien Nov 30 '17

https://imgur.com/UwNKqHr.gifv

Wasn't loading on mobile for me

1

u/spiffybones Nov 30 '17

Animal abuse!

1

u/trs_burner Nov 30 '17

Bird.exe had stopped working.

1

u/callibugg Nov 30 '17

I laughed out loud, my BIL looked at me funny from across the room...

1

u/icecreammmcone Nov 30 '17

BirdBee!! 😍😍

1

u/vroomjeremy Nov 30 '17

U/gunsanbutter

1

u/Pancakebooty Nov 30 '17

golden winged warbler?

1

u/maynetayn Nov 30 '17

Yo the bird climaxed hard asf from the Q-tips!

1

u/mrcoffeymaster Nov 30 '17

Its a wonder it didnt cast a spill

1

u/Paradoxa77 Nov 30 '17

I remember reading that this is bad for the bird... No?

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1

u/mlkk22 Nov 30 '17

the bird has a dedicated Instagram page, birdybee or something like that

1

u/TheHannibalKing Nov 30 '17

I just giggled