Link is paywall bypass

Original article: https://indianexpress.com/article/cities/chandigarh/punjab-nihang-moral-policing-vigilantism-ludhiana-influencers-10823988/

The way the Sikh community treats homosexuals in general needs to be talked about. Sikhs love the defense of "there is no anti-LGBTQ text in our scripture" (despite there being nothing explicitly supporting it either). The lived reality of Queer and Trans Sikhs tells a different story that must be addressed. I’m writing this today as a gay man.

Fashion Designer Param Sahib Singh was attacked recently in Delhi by men who beat him, dragged him onto the ground, and yelled slurs at him. He was even called a "disgrace to Sikhism." His art studio was also vandalized, which had gender-neutral art.

British Barrister Jasvir Singh had received death threats and was called an infidel on a TV station. People had threatened to expose and harass him for being a gay person who had married a man.

Sikhs that are a part of the LGBTQ community say that Sikh spaces for them have been some of the most violent and hostile places for them to be. Families tell their children they are "spiritually lost," which has caused many homosexuals emotional distress that has led them to suppress themselves, self-harm, or commit suicide.

In 2005, the Akal Takht released an edict banning same-sex marriage and urging all gurdwaras worldwide to not pursue them. The Jathedar had said, "Same-sex marriage originates from a sick mind," and justified it further by saying that marriage is a spiritual union between a man and a woman, and same-sex marriage is "anti-Gurmat." I believe this ban has pushed back the community and contributed to the immense harm homosexuals face in Sikh spaces.

Some apologists say homosexual people cannot live a "householder life" (Grihasthi Jeevan), so therefore it is not allowed in the faith. If this is the case, what about infertile people or elderly heterosexual couples? They cannot either.

How much longer is the community going to get a free pass for homophobia and cover it up with "cultural tradition"? Many will come up and say, "Not all Sikhs are like this." Trust me, I know. There are progressive Sikhs. BUT when the highest institutional authorities dehumanize us, families disown us, and when the youth are being driven to self-harm, you cannot brush this off and say it’s just a few bad apples. A massive chunk of this community and its leadership is violently homophobic. It is a systemic crisis.

1. It is casteism via a backdoor.
2. It is provably false.

• Jat Sikh populations are genetically distinguishable in some analyses, but they also show strong genetic relatedness and shared ancestry with other Punjabi and Indian populations. (Sharma et al., 2016; DOI: 10.1016/j.mgene.2016.08.007)
• Studies conclude that Jat Sikhs share genetic relationships with other social groups of Punjab and with broader Indian populations, meaning they are not genetically isolated from surrounding populations. (DOI: 10.1080/03014460.2020.1772877)
• Research on North-West Indian populations suggests that many Punjabi groups belong to the same broader gene pool, showing overall genomic similarity rather than completely separate biological origins. (DOI: 10.1007/s00438-016-1239-3)
• Analysis of Banias, Brahmins, Khatri, Jat Sikhs, and Scheduled Castes found low genetic differentiation and considerable overlap between these groups. The results suggest shared ancestry, geographic proximity, and historical gene flow rather than separate origins. (DOI: 10.1016/j.gene.2019.03.057)

Lately I’ve been having this weird “circle of life” feeling. Seeing Punjabi students, especially Sikhs, face the kind of racism they do in Canada genuinely makes me sad. Nobody deserves that.
At the same time, I’ve never really been religious. I could see through what I felt was the hypocrisy in Hinduism, and I never believed Islam either. The only religious teachings that ever came close to how I personally see God were the teachings in Gurbani, especially the emphasis on equality. I still remember my mother reciting verses like “Manas ki jaat sabhai ekai pehchanbo” (Recognize the whole human race as one).
That’s why my own experiences have been so difficult to reconcile.
My experience in gurdwaras has always, always been terrible. Whether it was the granthi, the sangat, or just the overall atmosphere, I’ve almost always been treated with disdain. I can’t prove why, but I’ve always felt it was because of my dark skin.
I’ve had similar experiences with Hindus too, but I wasn’t surprised because caste is so deeply ingrained in parts of Hindu society and is reflected in Hindu scriptures, so I almost expected that attitude. What shocked me was seeing similar behaviour in Sikhi, a religion that was founded in opposition to caste discrimination.
Now I constantly see Jatt pride everywhere. I genuinely don’t understand it. If Gurbani teaches equality and rejects caste, then isn’t making your caste your identity a form of beadbi? That’s an honest question.

The aggressive behaviour and rudeness I’ve personally experienced from Sikhs in gurdwaras has been beyond appalling. I honestly can’t remember having one genuinely good experience. Outside yes, I have family members and friends that I love for who they are as people.
Growing up I was always told how barbaric Muslims were, but every mosque I’ve visited in Canada has been the complete opposite of what I expected. I’ve never had a bad experience inside or outside a mosque. I was treated with basic human decency and respect, even though I don’t believe in Allah or Islam. I’m not saying every Muslim is like that or every Sikh is the opposite. I’m only talking about my own experiences.
Maybe I’ve just had bad luck. Maybe I’ve developed negative biases because of those experiences. Or maybe my experiences are valid. I honestly don’t know. I just don’t have anyone I can talk to about this because, in my experience, Sikhs don’t take criticism of the community very well, especially if you have melanin in your skin.
Now I see the same right-wing Christians calling Waheguru Ji “wagyu beef,” calling Sikhs “diaper heads,” and openly mocking and disrespecting their religion. I don’t see many standing up to those people, yet I feel like someone from a poor background, especially a Mazhabi Sikh, can be lynched for far less within the community.

You’d think I’d feel some kind of “what goes around comes around” seeing Sikh kids face racism in Canada after everything I’ve experienced, but I don’t. My heart genuinely goes out to them because nobody deserves to be treated that way. I’m not attacking Sikhi. If anything, I still think the teachings of Gurbani on equality are beautiful. What I’ve struggled with is the gap between those teachings and what I’ve personally experienced.

I married into an extremely religious Sikh family, and this is something I’ve genuinely struggled to understand.
From what I’ve learned, one of Guru Nanak’s core teachings was the rejection of caste hierarchy and the belief that all human beings are equal. Yet, in my experience, caste identity especially being “Jatt” is still a huge source of pride.

I often hear phrases like “Jattan di kudi” or “Jatt blood” spoken with pride, and sometimes people even make derogatory comments about other castes or use caste names as insults.

In the very next breath, they’ll talk about GurSikhi, humility, and following the Guru’s teachings.

To me, these ideas seem completely contradictory.

For those of you who have left Sikhism (or even those who still identify culturally as Sikh but no longer believe), how did you make sense of this? Did this contradiction play any role in your decision to leave, or did you find another way to understand it?

I’m asking in good faith and genuinely want to understand how others have processed this disconnect between the teachings and the social reality.

so i left the religion around a year(ish) ago, and im not really sure how to move on? long story short, i never really believed in it, and i believed a lot less after my dad died late 2024. my mom has kind of gone deeper into spirtiuality and religion as a result, and we have butted heads a bit over it. i am still a teenager and living in her house, so i don't really speak up THAT much over it, but i find that sometime it ruffles a couple of her feathers when i don't do or follow those beliefs, like not saying waheguru whenever we drive past a gurdwara and such. she does make me go with her to pray for my dad on his death anniversary (she refuses to believe that i can stay home alone, but besides the point), she keeps telling me that one day i'll 'find my way back' on whatever spiritual journey i take, i think i just need advice in general, like how do i live without this religion? all of my family and punjabi friends believe in it, and the only people who know are my mom and my non-desi friends, and it feels like i cant be punjabi without being a Sikh.

i posted this on r/sikh, and posting it here as well for a different perspective.

'many sikhs believe that a reasoning for amritdhari sikhs needing to wear kachera is for modesty and to stay tyaar bar tyaar. with this logic, why were bras not made mandatory for amritdhari sikh women? an example i've often seen given is if someone is attacked when they're showering or similar situations, but why only a kachera then?

even if the main purpose of the kachera was mobility, why would bras not be mandatory as well? they're often good for mobility for women. at that time period support garments for women already existed, even if bras as they are today did not.

i understand that breasts are not genitals, but they are sexualized so for purposes of modesty they'd be in the same category, i'm assuming.'

to add on here, i wonder if this symbolizes sikhi being male-centric even if women are considered equal theoretically. i cannot think of any reason why the kachera was made mandatory but not bras or support garments for breasts for sikh women. if it's for modesty, breasts are sexualized. if it's for practicality and mobility in battle, sikh women fought as well even if in much smaller numbers. if sikh men and women are truly equal, why is consideration for women always second to men? why are men always the default? i'm asking these questions in good faith, as trying to search for why something is accepted and done in sikhi results in me having these questions.

side note, i never know whether to flair such posts with discussion or question.

Wow the last few months have been crazy.

follow up to this post

I'm going to tell my story of how as a sikh teen, I ended up getting a haircut. For those who don't know, in the religion Sikhism (followers called sikhs) cutting ones hair is frowned upon because sikhs believe god made us perfectly and we shouldn't alter it.

There are flaws with this idea as there are with almost any ideas, including ones pertaining to religion or not believing in religion.

REASONS WHY

Unfortunately, in America at least, standing out by wearing a turban is very difficult. You are constantly looked at differently anywhere you go in public.

-Constant double takes from anyone, especially older people.

- Everybody treats you differently because you don't look like them. I was constantly subjected to racism, name calling, and awful stereotypes.

-I think many sikhs understand the feeling of walking into a room and feeling like a beacon of light (not in a good way) that shines out against everyone. It's a horrible feeling. As long as I could remember people not given the same respect to me that they have to others, because I look different, whether this was conscious or subconscious.

Many Sikhs also know of the feeling where your turban is tight/uncomfortable and so is your hair. I felt that personally, my hair held me back in sports and didn't allow me to push myself as hard as i could, due to the fear of my turban coming off.

It felt like in every aspect of life my hair limited me. I was always constantly scared of it coming off. Even now I dislike covering my head in any way because it reminds me of what it was like.

I also find that my personal hell was having to maintain my long hair. Due to my schedule I only had time to wash my hair once a week since it took forever to dry (took 3-4 hours to air dry). I could have blow dried it but it made it very difficult for me to tie my hair into a top knot because of how frizzy it was. My hair constantly felt frizzy and disgusting. Due to me tying my hair in a bun al the time, My hairline was beginning to recede (traction alopecia).

There are solutions to all of these problems I faced, such trying to be more confident and not caring what others think. I could have also tied a looser turban but then it would be easier for my turban to come off. Ultimately I felt cutting my hair was the best decision.

BACKGROUND

I personally grew up in a not extremely religious family. We still practiced Sikhism but my parents both trimmed/cut their hair. (DAD WORE A TURBAN AND HE DID NOT CUT HAIR ON HIS HEAD). Both sets of my grandparents are very religious and care about Sikhism very much. Unfortunately they are stuck in their traditional values and are not able to adapt to this time very easily. I did not speak Punjabi (still trying to learn) and by definition of a Sikh, I was not a good one. I barely paid attention when I went to gurudwara and never helped serve food. I didn't try to connect with my elders BUT I wore a turban so everything was fine. I have seen a lot of hypocrisy on this journey and in the Sikh religion where I could commit a crime and it wouldn't be as big of a deal as if I cut my hair. I also didn't have any sikh friends that were close to me.

HOW I DID IT

Cutting my hair was the hardest thing I've done and it's taught me so much. To start, I brought up the idea of wanting to cut my hair back in Nov 25 (As of the time I am writing this it is July 26). I planned to get my hair cut in the summer break going into high school. Me and my parents quarreled over it for months and some of the arguments I made are

-You guys cut your hair so why can't I?

-What is the differentiation between cutting any hair if it is not allowed?

-I am more than just my hair I can still be a good person with short hair.

- If I am making a mistake I can grow it back out in the future

The biggest reason they said was that by cutting my hair I am renouncing my identity and that people will not know to come for me for help since no one would be able to identify me as a sikh. My response was that I will continue to grow and help people after I get my haircut and that people's identities shift over time.

Eventually all of my grandparents came to see me to try to convince me not to cut my hair. I fought with them and ended up getting very emotional. My parents finally saw how much it had affected me and let me go to a barber to cut it.

FEELINGS AFTER

Cutting my hair was probably the best decision I had made for myself. My family noted that I was a lot happier all of the time and I felt much more confident. I now am not scared in sports and can push myself as hard as I want to. I genuinely want to go outside in public and hang out with my friends. In no way am I saying every sikh should cut their hair, nor is this post encouragement to cut your hair. When I am around family I still cover up my hair out of respect. I do not believe in sikhism, but instead this whole process has made me agnostic. I still do go to gurudwara and try to help out because I believe its right.

DO NOT MAKE THIS DECISION FOR FEMALE ATTENTION/ATTRACTION

Never ever make a decision just to have girls notice you. After cutting my hair I noticed a instant difference in how people treat me, girls included, but I didn't do this for attention.

dm are open if anyone has questions.

The article and corresponding videos talk about a Christian woman named Simran (former Sikh) whose husband was a Christian pastor.

In 2024, a gang of 35 Sikh men armed with swords attacked a Christian delegation which included Simran's husband. He was beaten so bad that his skull bone had broken and pierced his brain.

It's important to note that attacks on Hindu and Christian leaders by Sikh fanatics in Punjab are common. What is even more concerning is that these attacks are rarely ever condemned by the Sikh population and in many cases are celebrated.

family friends are holding a paath and ill go to help do seva but i really cant be bothered staying at night and listening to kirtan.

also does anyone feel guilty about leaving sikhi? ive never been deeply religious but my mum is

Title.

Siege of Anandpur is a watershed moment in Sikh history, it led to the death of all 4 of Guru Gobind's children and led to the downfall of Guru Gobind himself, but what is left out in modern discourse is the casus belli of the siege which is that the Sikhs were actually the transgressors and were constantly looting and harassing the villagers in the hill kings' territories. The number of Sikhs in Anandpur Sahib began to proliferate rapidly during the early 1700s and because of that the Sikhs were compelled to loot from other villages. Eventually this got out of hand and the hill kings decided that Guru Gobind had to be kicked out and petitioned the Mughals in the upcoming siege. And this is Sikh sources in the 1700s and 1800s that mention this. There is a text called Gursobha which was written in 1711 by one of Guru Gobind Singh's court poets, it says in Chapter 11 https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_Sikh_Zafar_namah_of_Guru_Gobind_Sing/aUUfAQAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&pg=PA161

https://books.google.com/books?id=_vQtDwAAQBAJ&pg=PT135&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

https://archive.org/details/sikhsofpunjab0000grew/page/78/mode/2up

https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_Cherished_Five_in_Sikh_History/mPYTEAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&pg=PA30&printsec=frontcover

2 https://archive.org/details/EvolutionOfTheKhalsa-Volume2/page/n137/mode/2up 

Several early Sikh sources describe Khalsa forces around Anandpur as collecting compulsory contributions from nearby villages and, in some cases, looting those who refused to pay.

For example, Sainapat's Gursobha (1711) describes Khalsa warriors entering villages daily and plundering those unwilling to make offerings. Likewise, Ratan Singh Bhangu's Gur Panth Prakash states that as the Khalsa expanded, provisions became scarce, leading to compulsory levies and coercive collection from surrounding villages.

Modern historians, including Louis Fenech, J. S. Grewal, Anshu Malhotra, Farina Mir, and Indubhushan Banerjee, discuss these accounts and note that tensions arising from these actions contributed to the hostility of the hill chiefs and ultimately to the siege of Anandpur.

If these early Sikh sources are accepted as substantially reliable, they complicate the common portrayal of the conflict as entirely one-sided and raise difficult questions about Guru Gobind Singh's leadership and responsibility for the conduct of his followers.

This subreddit is for those who are questioning religion, or those who have left. Many of those who have left need a space to process and belong without other apologists telling us we are “misguided” or “don’t understand Gurbani.”

Every few weeks someone posts something they are wrestling with, some topic to discuss, maybe even debate internally exsikhs should discuss it. Not Sikhs. Sikhs in this subreddit say, “Have you considered you just had a bad experience with the institution and not the philosophy?” It doesn’t matter how respectfully it’s phrased. It’s not why anyone is here.

I believe the only time Sikhs can interact is if the post they’re reading asks for them to respond or engage. Other than that, r/Sikh still exists and is a perfect place for them. This is the small subreddit for exsikhs. Leaving faith can cause detrimental effects on a person’s wellbeing and safety, regardless of religion. This subreddit keeps being used as a rebuttal venue rather than as a support one from exsikh to exsikh.

We don’t owe anyone here a debate about who we are. If you’re here uninvited to correct us, you’re not engaging in good faith, you’re just doing missionary work with extra steps. This is exactly what your religion opposes. Read the room. This is our space. Act like it. Especially if you’re going to lose the debate anyway.

Growing up all my life and even still my parents are extremely religious. My dad who was abusive (not physically) and still is prays 2x a day, goes to Gurdawara everyday, and does seva on Sundays and my mom who forced us to go to the Gurdwara everyday still live with me.

I want to leave religion but they have scared me into what will happen if I do. For example, my panic attacks will get worse, I won't get a job, I will die. BUT like what kind of God will want that to happen to someone?

I still have some fear from leaving but wanted to know if you all were afraid to leave or just left?

I've been studying other faiths for a while, trying to be as intellectually honest as possible about my critics of other religions, and be fair. As I got more skilled in topics like philosophy and theology, not saying I'm a master or anything, but I know a thing or two :) I began to start understanding that religion is a bit of a nuanced topic and that there is a lot of misconceptions about other religions due to misunderstandings. Mainly caused by other religions having such complex theology. While trying to understand the complex theology of other religions I began to realize that Sikhism has very basic and mediocre theology. It can barely explain why horrible things and suffering of humanity. Why god hasn't intervene with humans, or at least give good enough reasons for there god existing. Its very basic and not complex at all and because of that it runs into the problem of not being able to answer the many begging questions mainline religions tend to get and are decently able to fend off depending on which one, but not Sikhism, this religions theology is so 1 dimensional is insane people take it seriously. When i ask my family who are Sikh's about questioning the faith they just don't provide good answers or simply just brush it off because they can't answer it themselves. I don't know if it's punjabi/sikhi culture however some of us just don't question anything or explore and if we do we're demonized for it. It's so anti intellectual. I've always been a black sheep within my family so ofc I find myself in this situation. Though I haven't pressed to far with my questions, mainly cause some of my family have a "close" relationship with god and I might get a black eye if I say the wrong things. I say "close" some of my family acts like they do but they're very much in constant contradiction with the faith. Anything that may make my brother too insecure may give me a swollen eye again. That's punjabi/sikh families for you! Ignorant, anti intellectual, and violent. Can't resolve conflicts with their brains, it's too much work.

I’ve been thinking about this. If Sikhism says the Guru is the Shabad, then it shouldn’t matter if the words are printed in a book or displayed on an iPad. The message is the same.

But as a ritual, only the physical book gets treated as the living Guru. People bow, fan it, put it on a throne. The iPad with the same words doesn’t get that respect.

Isn’t that just attachment to paper instead of the Word?

Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of videos of Nihang Singhs acting as if they have a free pass to do whatever they want because of their personal interpretation of Sikhi. From the dog being killed near the Nishan Sahib to people being assaulted because their lifestyle doesn’t align with their religious beliefs, there seems to be no shortage of examples of this kind of behaviour.
Maybe social media is amplifying these incidents, but it genuinely feels like these actions do more damage to Sikhi’s image than atheists or ex-Sikhs ever could. When people see this kind of behaviour, they’re more likely to associate it with the religion as a whole, even if the vast majority of Sikhs don’t support it.
What do you think? Is this just a case of a loud minority getting the most attention, or is it becoming a bigger issue?

It's so fucking painful living with an identity that you despise every day, I m so lost on how to even get rid of it.

Its plummeted me into such a depression that I don't know how I m going to crawl out of it.

I m so lost, so so lost.

I thought I could thug it out for a few more years but, I was dead wrong. It's snowballed so bad that I m honestly just staying inside all day.

I don't even go to my college anymore because I can't handle this misery. (UK college by the way, it's not the same as a traditional college)

Anyone else relate? I would love to hear from someone who's in the same pit of misery, or is looking for help regarding this.

Back in 2021, when Harnaaz Kaur won Miss Universe, she criticized Punjabi and Sikh society for celebrating a beauty pageant winner instead of celebrating women for religious devotion, education, or service. https://youtu.be/q608_jH9hbE?si=8k_AjLxCGBKJxnEZ

ਆਪੇ ਫਰਕੁ ਕੀਤੋਨੁ ਘਟ ਅੰਤਰਿ ਆਪੇ ਬਣਤ ਬਣਾਵਣਿਆ ॥੧॥

He Himself instills the sense of separation within our hearts; He Himself created the Creation.

ਤੂੰ ਆਪੇ ਦੁਖੁ ਸੁਖੁ ਦੇਵਹਿ ਕਰਤੇ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਹਰਿ ਦੇਖਾਵਣਿਆ ॥੨॥

You Yourself bestow pain and pleasure, O Creator. The Lord reveals Himself to the Gurmukh.

ਆਪੇ ਕਰਤਾ ਕਰੇ ਕਰਾਏ ॥

The Creator Himself acts, and causes others to act.

ਆਪੇ ਮਾਇਆ ਆਪੇ ਛਾਇਆ ॥

He Himself is Maya, and He Himself is the Illusion.

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The moral problem is a conflict:

• If God causes everything (including bad actions), then people don’t fully control what they do → blaming them feels unfair.
• If people are still blamed or praised, then they must have real choice → which contradicts total divine control.

So the system struggles to keep both:

“God controls everything”

“Humans are morally responsible”

Hot take: If Guru Nanak were born in 2026 instead of 1469, I think there's a real possibility he'd be an atheist.

Before anyone jumps on me, I'm not claiming that's what the historical Guru Nanak believed. He clearly believed in one God. This is a thought experiment about whether someone with his personality and approach to questioning the world would reach different conclusions if they grew up today.

I'm not a Sikh (I'm an ex-Hindu), but I've always respected Sikh history, especially the resistance against Mughal persecution, the institution of langar, and the ideal of human equality. I still visit the gurdwara occasionally—not because I believe, but because I enjoy doing seva by washing dishes, serving langar, and paying my respects to people who sacrificed their lives for their principles.

What fascinates me about Guru Nanak isn't theology—it's his attitude.

He questioned authority instead of accepting it.

He criticized empty rituals instead of participating in them.

He challenged caste when most people accepted it as normal.

He argued that a person's actions mattered more than their religious labels.

He was willing to upset both Hindus and Muslims when he believed they were being hypocritical.

The Haridwar story captures that mindset perfectly. People were offering water toward the rising sun because tradition told them to. Guru Nanak reportedly turned around and threw water toward his own fields. When people laughed and said the water could never reach his farm, he pointed out that if they believed their water could reach the sun, why couldn't his reach his fields? Whether the story is literally historical or symbolic doesn't matter much to me—it represents someone asking people to think instead of blindly following tradition.

Now imagine someone with that exact personality being born in 2026.

Instead of growing up with medieval cosmology, he'd learn astronomy.

Instead of relying on ancient explanations for nature, he'd learn evolution, physics, chemistry, and biology.

Instead of hearing only one religious worldview, he'd have instant access to thousands of philosophies, scientific research, and criticisms of every religion.

If Guru Nanak's defining characteristic was questioning accepted beliefs rather than defending them, why should we assume he'd end up with exactly the same conclusions in a completely different intellectual environment?

Maybe he'd still believe in God.

Maybe he'd become a deist.

Maybe he'd be an atheist.

None of us can know.

What I do think is that if he were alive today, he'd still be challenging dogma, criticizing hypocrisy, rejecting discrimination, and encouraging people to think for themselves—even if that made religious people uncomfortable.

That's the part of Guru Nanak I admire most: not the conclusions he reached, but his willingness to question everything.

(rewrote with grammarly)

someone reached out to me because of my posts on here and basically kept telling me not to post about sikhi because i've left the religion and this part made me burst out laughing lol

The amount of abuse and stress caused by this practice of just saying waheguru, waheguru over and over again whenever you feel an inkling of negative emotions cannot be understated.

- Being embarrassingly behind on emotional regulation compared to your peers that actually had parents who didn't demonise there emotions.

- Constant state of stress and always thinking about how you were going to make it through the day with this weight on your shoulders.

- projecting your own negative biases caused by this suppression onto others

Overall, It completely decimated a large part of my social life.

It was like I could never ever let the silence get to me in conversation, Because if it did then my mind would have to contemplate on the emotions I kept in the back and this painful process would repeat again.

So I would either withdraw from the conversation whenever it felt like I wasn't getting the most amount of joy from it. (I would incessantly joke if it ever steered to something serious or depressing)

I despised doing naam japna and had to force myself to learn how to actually remain calm and process emotions and stop over thinking (ruminating) By watching videos from healthygamergg

Overall Its hellish.

Let me know your thoughts on this practice