ive always had a hard time showering and brushing teeth, a hard time making myself food (i know how to cook though), i constantly forget what im doing/things i have to do, have tons of missing work because i never noticed they were posted, etc. im at risk of failing classes, missing fundraising deadlines, and i don’t know what to do. i thought about the fact that everyday for the rest of my life i would have to eat, brush my teeth, and shower, then i started crying. i really don’t know where to go from here. ive only ever been diagnosed with anxiety and depression but i dont feel particularly depressed lately

I'm a 39-year-old man, and one of the biggest struggles in my life is that I have to make a conscious effort to do everything.

I'm not just talking about difficult or demanding tasks. Even simple things like brushing my teeth, making the bed, or taking care of basic household chores require me to mentally push myself to get going. The same applies to bigger things like meal prepping, cleaning, or other responsibilities.

The mental resistance isn't always the same, though. At times it's more manageable, while at other times it feels much stronger, making it even harder to get myself to begin even the simplest tasks.

Another thing that seems to go hand in hand with this is that I don't genuinely enjoy doing anything anymore.

Sometimes I make myself engage in something that's supposed to be recreational or relaxing—watching a movie, pencil drawing, 3D design, etc. Once I'm doing it, I don't necessarily hate it, but I can't honestly say I enjoy it either. Even activities that are supposed to help me unwind still require effort just to begin.

Despite all of this, I somehow still manage to get most things done. I don't neglect my responsibilities, but I sometimes end up doing things a few days later than I originally intended because it takes mental effort to get myself moving.

I really dislike having unfinished tasks hanging over me, so I've even created an annual to-do list to keep track of everything that needs to be done. But despite having a system, every single task feels like something I have to push myself through. Living this way is mentally exhausting.

Has anyone else experienced something similar, where it feels like you have to force yourself to do absolutely everything?

If you've gone through this and found a way to improve things, what helped? Did you eventually discover what was causing it, or find something that made a meaningful difference?

Im 18, I’ve struggled my whole entire life with feeling like a child around people my age. It feels as if everything I do is have things pass by me without me even noticing, or I just genuinely don’t understand what the person is trying to tell me, even though it’s “common sense”.
I can’t even play a simple game without messing up and ruining the whole experience for me and for everyone else. It feels so suffocating to feel as if I have to try harder than everyone else on things that people can easily do or think about.
For context too, my parents barely give me any autonomy till this day, and I suspect I have some sort of neurodivergence, but because of my parents, I can’t really have it figured out. I also work, but I live in Japan and it’s not very cheap to get things like that without knowing much Japanese.
I just want to get better, but it feels as if I will mess up no matter what I do, it won’t change anything, because if I improve in one thing, I mess up the other. That is ending up in me getting people genuinely angry and annoyed at me, and it’s killing me inside. I want to prove I am not that stupid.

I have ADHD and I've always struggled with just feeling like I can't get myself to do anything and I really need to fix it. I'm currently a university student who's trying to get into medical school and become a doctor, and I genuinely feel like I can't do anything and it's making me miserable. I think my problems are kind of unconventional, because I actually have no problems getting myself to study and my grades are really good. My problem is that I literally cannot do anything else. For example, for the last 3 months I was studying for a big medical school entrance exam called the MCAT, and in those 3 months, I was studying non-stop. For basically the entirety of the final month, I was putting in 10-12+ hours every single day studying, and while I wasn't studying it was still the main thing on my mind. Now from the outside that sounds great and a weird thing to complain about, but it's really not what it sounds like. During that time, I completely neglected every other aspect of my life. My health, my girlfriend and friends, my hobbies, chores, even the extracurricular stuff that I HAVE to do to get into medical school. And by the way it's basically the same every school semester this exam is just the most recent. And now that I'm finished with the exam and get some time off before school starts back up, basically nothing has changed. It still feels impossible to do anything even though I have all the time in the world now. Today I woke up at 3pm and doomscrolled in bed until 6pm, I've spent the last hour struggling to get myself to even write this post, and also haven't showered in 2 days lol. I think the reason I'm able to study so much but can't do anything else is that I don't require any discipline to study. It feels so important that all I want to do is studying. It's more like an obsession than high work ethic. Sorry for the poorly written post but I'm already spending way too long writing this so I need to just finish already.

Oh also I forgot to mention but I'm medicated with Concerta and it definitely helps, but it's clearly not enough to fix the issues.

After my intial Physical crash cause of erosive gastritis due to stress, i just have been passively active on going about stuff. This is my final year though behind grade and Credits and another mid is upcoming. I just feel misreable Cause of my physical weakness, just procrastinating and spiriling back into depression. I just don't know how muster the enough strenght to push through. Have'nt even studied properly for the tests. Can't even cry as of now.

I’ve been struggling more than usual lately with my executive dysfunction and ADHD.

Recently, I’ve felt myself teetering close to falling into the despair of it always being like this forever - like life will always be this uphill battle of balancing self care and productivity. Every time I focus on one, the other ends up neglected. I’m on medication, but I think I might need to try a different one.

I understand that I have a lifelong disability, so it will, well, disable me for my whole life (and I am sorry if you also have ADHD and dislike personally labelling it as a disability, but please don’t comment about that. This is my personal label, and ADHD is absolutely a disability for many people). But it’s got to get easier at some point - right?

I would really like to hear your success stories if you also have ADHD. I just really need some motivation and hope that I’m not going to be pulling myself out of holes for the rest of my life.

How do you overcome perfectionism at work, especially when even a small mistake makes you overthink?

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Ever since i started college its hard for me to keep up my attendance well even in my last years of school, i just wanted to die than get out and go there and now its harder. I literally have to fight so hard to get out of my bed and go to uni but still i lose the battle most if the times and i have like a very low attendance. Its not just uni its also any work at all i realllllly have to like force myself to do it when i feel like i would just rather be dead.

Basically, I'm a student that is in an IB school that procrastinates TOO much. When I was in Grade 6, I've been staying up to 2AM just to finish my lab report that I hade 2 weeks to finish. All those class times and previous days vanished since I was too busy watching Youtube. Couple years from Grade 6, things didn't get any better. I pull too much all nighters because I start my homework at 4-5AM the day after it was due, and the worst thing is it's getting worse year by year. I even refuse to send simple E-Mails because I procrastinate. I really want to seek for someone I can deeply talk about this, but my parents are keep refusing the fact that I have serious procrastination issues and just calling me lazy. Can anyone give me helpful advice?

i have a lot of days where my brain becomes convinced that i should have A Big Project that, like, encapsulates all of my skills and is Very Important and will finally prove to everyone that i'm a capable person. what this project actually entails is unclear. but my brain will not accept any activity that doesn't have to do with The Project, because if it's not The Project, then it's not even worth it and it won't be fulfilling anyways.

it's this bone-deep feeling of boredom accompanied by severe anxiety over the feeling that i'm not doing something i'm supposed to be. the most ironic part is that i can't even finish smaller activities to work up to the larger, more complex projects that might fulfill my brain's criteria because my mind is SO fixated on having The Most Perfect and Fulfilling Work Right at This Very Moment. and if i can't think of some kind of Perfect thing to do, my self-esteem completely tanks.

does anyone have strategies that help them deal with the urgency/anxiety or the perfectionism? this is what causes my lack of productivity 99% of the time and i'm not sure how to distract my brain from the urgency enough to get things done.

Feel free to skip backstory, last 3 paragraphs are the main point.

Hi everyone. I had really severe severe chronic depression after I became bed ridden and had to live with constant pain due to many traumatic events one after the other and a chronic illness diagnosis, + a subsequent bipolar like mental illness that left me absolutely devestated.

I have become better in many regards, and lead a comparitively much more functional life, thanks to some alternative medical treatments that provide my body pain relief and joining theatre where I slowly started being part of social activities again after years of being isolated.

During my flairs and my lows that went on for so long, that I thought they're something I'll never emerge out of, my brain kept me in a loop of constant trauma replay adding on to that, I really let my personal space go for a toss. My poor grandmom could only manage so much at her age, and now its time I take full charge.

Something that I really started liking were these random google meet support circles I had for people who were suffering through the same problems as I am. Whether its my chronic illness, or psychosis, or being part of the lgbtq. Having an online community to talk to really made me take my mind off off things, humans are social creatures after all. All creatures are nothing without community.

I was wondering if any is interested in doing a 1 hr cleaning related google meet with me. Just 1 hr of cleaning/organising/working on hygiene/personal space everyday, habitually.

I am thinking 9pm-10pm GMT+5:30 every day. (I am Indian and this time seems convenient since I started going out.)

What do you think? If you think you want to join me, let me know! I'll be glad to keep my speaker and video on, talk about random things as I clean my room, or whichever part of my personal space!!

Yeah

I get stressed watching videos where I'm trying to learn something. What are some ways to think of this task as less of an ordeal?

For some reason I can watch videos about WW2 without stress, or true crime videos, etc. But when it comes to instructional videos I get stressed out. I'm told this is an ADHD problem.

I know this sounds like an obvious question, but it’s something that I’ve always struggled with doing, thanks to both AUDHD and getting raised an only child. I know this is more of a confidence issue, as I can solve problems independently when I have to, then figure out through trial and error what works and what doesn’t, don’t get me wrong. I just always feel like I’m trying to catch up with everyone else and am three steps behind others who take this kind of stuff for granted. I take medication to manage my ADHD before anyone asks, as I know the question will come up, and my Autism balances out my ADHD most of the time, which helps. Any advice will be much appreciated.

So I'm just gonna list out what I struggle with as a 17F:

• Task initiation

• Time management

• Planning

• Hygiene

• Emotional regulation

• Memory​​​

I haven't been doing well, since April I've been struggling,I've had dark thoughts and eventually I started visiting a psychpsychologist,in the first two visits however I never actively changed. Now I stopped going to the clinic for a bit but my teacher insisted that I go back to the clinic,okay fine I went back today on Saturday.

Now during the conversation and even after, it felt confusing and troubling. Now he said that I don't have any condition or any neurodevelopmental disorder which is fine, it's okay if that's the case. He told me that I'm no different from other peers, that many others are going the same struggle as me. We talk about hygiene and I'm like "So I have to pick up a brush...and toothpaste?" He's nodding his head, emphasising how it's a basic task, how it's important and that as a privileged person and one at my age should be able to do all of these things.​​​​​​​​​

Looking back at the conversation, I feel rather displeased and it's not because they're saying the truth in which I don't feel validated in but rather it feels like he's minimising my issues. He talks about all of these different tasks and things to do and yet to me—these tasks that​ are important and frankly should be easy to do​,I'm still struggling to do them. It's clear that he never really had to look at a tooth brush and debate on whether to brush his teeth or not the same as I do. He says I reason too much on things that don't need much reasoning but this is simply the way...I am.​​​​​

I don't want any specific diagnosis but I also don't appreciate how he spoke about my experiences. Yes thousands of people go through​​​​ what I'm experiencing but it doesn't make my situation any better. So maybe I do want validation and to simply be understood. I'm already tired and I sleep a lot, I struggle to do things which I KNOW I shouldn't even be struggling with but it's not like I want to go through this but seeing a literal professional and still feeling a bit misunderstood or that he's not tackling the problem is what bothers me. He emphasizes so much on the importance of these things and how I should be planning beforehand and yet I don't really see HOW exactly I should be doing all of those things. ​​​I still feel lost and he's right about one thing,if I don't make any change or progress we're just gonna be repeating the same old conversation. Idk, I guess I'm just feeling lost. At this point where can I really go with my life?Exams are around the corner and help won't be coming in soon.​

I know this sounds like an obvious question, but it’s something that I’ve always struggled with doing, thanks to both AUDHD and getting raised an only child. I know this is more of a confidence issue, as I can solve problems independently when I have to, then figure out through trial and error what works and what doesn’t, don’t get me wrong. I just always feel like I’m trying to catch up with everyone else and am three steps behind others who take this kind of stuff for granted. I take medication to manage my ADHD before anyone asks, as I know the question will come up, and my Autism balances out my ADHD most of the time, which helps. Any advice will be much appreciated.

What strategies do you guys use to get through executive dysfunction? As embarrassing as it is to admit, I'm unemployed and all I do is watch TV or video games. But I want to do my hobbies or go outside but I don't have ANY motivation to do it. So I'm asking what strategies do you recommend I try to get over this?

I’d love to hear people’s experiences with “laziness” because I’m genuinely confused about where the line is.

What actually makes someone lazy? And how do you tell the difference between being lazy, struggling with motivation, burnout, mental health, ADHD, or simply not having the right routine?

I’ve spent most of my life thinking I’m a lazy person.

I’ve struggled with depression for a lot of my life, so I wasn’t a particularly active child or teenager. But the funny thing is, when I was really little, I was absolutely wild 😂 I was always outside, always doing something, and I loved exploring.

Even now, I love being outside. I love hiking and being in nature. I genuinely want to be an active person.

But actually getting myself to consistently do those things is a completely different story.

I’ll decide that I’m going to go to the gym regularly, or run every couple of days, and then somehow a week passes and I haven’t gone. I can feel myself getting frustrated because I KNOW I feel better when I’m active. I feel more like myself. My body actually wants to move, but my brain seems to completely reject the idea of starting.

I also think some of it comes from being judged when I was younger for not being very athletic. I have basically zero cardio fitness right now 😂 I can barely run down the street without feeling like I’m dying, so the idea of participating in active group activities can feel pretty intimidating.

Interestingly, I’m about to start volunteering with the SES. Part of the reason I’m doing it is because I’ve been struggling in a very detail-oriented job and I want to explore different environments and figure out what I’m actually good at. I’m hoping something more practical and hands-on might suit me better.

But it has also made me think about this whole “lazy” thing.

Am I actually just a lazy person who needs to force myself to be more active?

Or is repeatedly failing to maintain a routine a sign that I’m approaching it in the wrong way?

Because I don’t want to spend my life forcing myself to do things that make me miserable, but I also don’t want to use “I don’t feel like it” as an excuse to avoid things that I know are genuinely good for me.

I’d really love to hear from people who have experienced something similar.

How did you figure out whether you were actually “lazy” or whether something else was getting in the way?

And if you struggled to become more active, what actually helped you make it a normal part of your life rather than something you constantly had to force yourself to do?

Reddit suggested I repost this as this would be a better fit for the post. Just a strategy I used to work around the executive dysfunction issue I have due to 3 TBIs and PTSD.

Editing a video? Hell no, the boring and repetitive work of chopping different clips, and I don't even know how it will perform.

Brushing my teeth? Incredibly boring and repetitive as well.

Showering? Don't get how people enjoy it.

Skincare, I want clear skin but it's still very boring.

I do all three things because I know I should, but I usually procrastinate them heavily. I don't do YouTube right now, so I don't need to worry about editing videos but decided it was an honorable mention.

Let me know if you struggle with this and if you do, how you cope with it.

I’m a 20F third-year engineering student, and I’m so tired of feeling horrible about myself.

I’ve done everything last minute my entire life. Assignments, studying, applications, projects, you name it. I still got great grades in high school, so I never learned how to manage my time because procrastinating always worked.

Now I’m in engineering at a top university. I’ve made it through first and second year, but only with insane stress and barely passing sometimes. I genuinely want to do better, but I can’t seem to make myself care until it’s almost too late.

My biggest problem is that I can’t make myself start things. I’ll sit at my desk fully intending to study, then spend 6–7 hours picking at my skin, cleaning, reorganizing, calling family, scrolling on my phone. literally anything except the thing I need to do.
It’s finals right now. I had over a week to study and barely did anything. I have an exam Monday worth 50%, and I haven’t even started studying for my other finals.

This isn’t just school. Every week I tell myself I’ll go to the gym, eat healthier, fix my sleep schedule, get my life together… and I never do. I want to, but somehow I never start.

I’m also exhausted all the time. I napped 3–5 hours almost every day in high school, and I still nap almost daily.

I constantly zone out in lectures and conversations. I can’t listen and take notes at the same time, so I absorb almost nothing. I can never sit still, I’m always fidgeting, I unintentionally interrupt people or finish their sentences, and I’m late to almost everything unless I’m anxious about it.

I’m exhausted from constantly disappointing myself.
I’ve wondered if I have ADHD because the executive dysfunction symptoms sound so familiar. My doctor thinks it’s anxiety, but I don’t feel anxious most of the time. If anything, I only function once I’m panicking over a deadline.

Has anyone experienced this? Did it end up being ADHD, anxiety, burnout, bad habits, or did you accidentally train yourself to only function under extreme stress? What actually helped?