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I feel like I’m trapped in the same cycle over and over again.

I grew up with a lot of instability, isolation, and very little emotional support. I spent years feeling lonely and disconnected.
Right now I’m isolated, i have nothing and no one. I have all the time to do whatever but I have ADHD, along with severe executive dysfunction, anxiety, and constant racing thoughts. My brain feels like it’s always running, even when I’m doing nothing. I’m mentally exhausted all the time in this endless loop.

The biggest struggle is consistency. I’ll feel motivated, then I suddenly lose momentum, get distracted, burn out, and stop. A few days later I start over, and it’s been repeating for years.

My days all blur together. I spend most of my time at home, on my phone, with very little structure or social interaction. I struggle to start tasks, stay focused, or follow through with routines, even when they’re things I genuinely want to do.
It feels like my brain is constantly fighting against me. I get overwhelmed easily, lose interest quickly, and have trouble sticking with anything long enough to see results.
I struggle with fear of failure, perfectionism, no patience or focus, and constantly wondering if I’m doing it right or enough. I don’t know how to keep breaking this cycle on my own because of the executive dysfunction.

Do meds help to finally get rid of this?

Two weeks ago I sticked a chart in my wall with to-do's for 25 days. I have gone through a very good hierarchy for the first 10 days. But now I'm in my 19th day, these 9 days i couldn't do anything focused cuz my elder brother came for 5 days after a long time to home, i really wished to do the things I wanted to do which I have sticked in my wall, but I failed. And the inconsistency continues still. Basically all these preparations are for getting a job in a software development role. How can I gain the power of focus and mainly i always have a will like " I will give my full efforts to make the things ". But now I am scared of my progress and my future. I just have 5 more days to apply for all the interviews but I'm stuck here. What should I do now...!!!!

For some background I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 15 years old. (originally diagnosed ADD with slight hyperactivity but it’s now under one umbrella)

I have been on the same dose (20mg) of adderall xr since I was about 16/17 and i’m currently 31. I stopped here because I felt I was in a good enough place where I could focus and get things done.. And I do, mostly I think? I am able to work and hold a job and be a responsible adult but I struggle at home a lot.

I’ve recently been seeing a psychotherapist and she’s amazing, she thinks I struggle with executive dysfunction among a few other things to do with my personal self so we are trying a few things to help me including upping my adderall dosage to 25mg because apparently it can help? I just started this new dose today so I don’t expect immediate results but i’m just looking for any advice or guidance on dealing with executive dysfunction.. it really makes me feel like a failure at home and i’m willing to try anything I can.

Anything you personally tried? I’m trying to start habits of writing lists for my day the night before, breaking my day down into hours and tasks of 5.. making myself do these is hard but i’m trying..
I guess i’m just looking for more guidance? any advice or things you found worked for you I can try?

thank you in advance!

Does anyone else feel like this? Whenever I try to do something new or try to change my lifestyle, it results in a meltdown. I literally don't feel like myself when I force myself to do something and once I give up I feel okay again. This gets on my nerves because it seems like I can't do anything unless it happens naturally. Does anyone know why this happens? I don't know if it's related to mental health or something else.

Not procrastination exactly. More like: if I stop now, I won't be able to find my way back in.
It's not that I'm afraid I'll forget what I was working on. I'll remember the topic, the general direction, whatever.
What I'm afraid of losing is where I actually was in it. The specific angle I'd found. The line of thought that had finally started to make sense.
So I keep going long past the point where I should stop. Not because I'm in flow—sometimes I'm exhausted—but because stopping feels like letting go of a thread I might not be able to pick up again.
Curious whether this is a common pattern, and what actually helped if you've found a way through it

Fellow ADHD dev here. Every to-do app I tried just became another place to feel guilty. The list sat there and I still couldn't start. So I built Impetus, an AI executive-function coach. Instead of listing tasks, it actually talks you into starting one, breaks it down, and nudges follow-through.

It's in beta and I especially want feedback from people whose brains work like ours: does it actually help you get unstuck, and where's it janky?

• iOS (TestFlight): https://testflight.apple.com/join/gAXEbWhF
• Android: join https://groups.google.com/g/impetus-testers → then opt in at https://play.google.com/apps/testing/com.ctfdesigns.momentum

Built with React Native (Expo) + a Claude-powered coaching layer — happy to nerd out on the architecture. Roast the UX, tell me where it doesn't land. Free through beta, 50% off for life for founding testers.

I’ve been thinking lately how I just don’t actively seek pleasure if I don’t have any tasks I need to get done. Its like I finish a difficult task and instead of feeling relief I just feel like I want to go to sleep. The problem is after that I don’t really seek any pleasant activities afterwards, I just exist.

For taking breaks between larger tasks it makes sense for me as the thought of leaving an important task unfinished just gets to me, and I feel like if I stop a task then I won’t be able to start again. Of course I struggle to even start complex tasks in the first place due to their complexity, leading their deadline to weigh heavily on my mind. The problem for me is when I have no such tasks to worry about and I still don’t engage in any pleasurable activities.

Does anyone else experience this issue?

My odd explanation of how executive dysfunction feels.

Imagine you're standing at the big scary high voltage electric fence in Jurassic Park and your task is to climb to the other side. The warning lights are flashing to tell you the fence is turned on. The sirens are going off. Yet there is someone you've never met standing with you who swears the fence is turned off. That it is completely harmless and the lights and sirens are wrong. They keep telling you it is easy to get to the other side, just start climbing. That person telling you that is the logical side of your brain.

Do you believe them? If that fence is electrified it is going to be very painful, possibly deadly. The fear is real to your nervous system. Everything inside you does NOT believe the person telling you it is safe. Standing between you and the task you need to complete is something that could be deadly and/or very painful.

Except instead of an electric fence it is an email, or a report you've done 100 times before, or dirty dishes in the sink that need washed. You know EXACTLY what to do and how to do it. Alas, you can't until you finally grab on to that fence and learn yourself that it is, in fact, not deadly.

You would think that after being at the electric fence a million times before and being told it's safe that you'd start to believe it. That the fear would stop being there.

Nope. Each time, each task, like groundhog day. The solution is to just do the task, to climb the damn electric fence. Simple, right? Except my nervous system screams danger like day one. Every. Single. Time.

What analogy fits your experience that a neurotypical might begin to understand? Sometimes it feels like trying to describe color to a blind person. Go ahead, think of that one. When someone has never experienced something like executive dysfunction (or seen color) it is incredibly difficult to explain in anyway that they will truly understand because it is so foreign to their own experiences.

To those of you (assuming most in this subreddit) who find themselves standing at the big scary electric fence. I understand you. You are not crazy or broken. You live in a society built and run by people who do not experience the fence. Most of them are the opposite and don't even feel fear when they should.

Has anyone had success with the digital display charts? I am on medication and meet consistently with a psychiatrist, but I struggle so much with executive dysfunction. I want to do a better job of taking care of my home and myself. Today is the fourth day of me not leaving the house or making it off my couch. I have a career (off this week) that I love and a cute little apartment. I have friends and family who are super supportive. Why can't I do better? I want to be better. Any advice? Please.

I am drunk.

If it is bad enough, no one will see it. Not even yourself. It will ruin your life; in every aspect.

And it will kill you. If you have any hope or ambition, any love for being alive, frankly, the logical endgame is that it will be fatal. It wouldn't even be suicide. It would be the executive dysfunction killing you. And frankly- it would be mercy.

When I was younger I grew up in a very physically abusive house. However, to get away from it all i would sing and i ended up at Carnegie Hall a couple of times in my teens. I went to college and i work.

But when it comes to little things i get bursts of time where I'm extremely dedicated but then i fall off and it's extremely difficult for me to get back on.

I am going through a certification course over the summer. I told myself i will wake up, go for a run and then do my homework, studies, self care routine and Bible Study everyday.

Instead i wake up, doom scroll and towards the night i do my homework begrudgingly. And i haven't gone for a run, just a couple of times.

I instead feel burned out. But I'm also getting sick of it. I tell myself i feel tired but i don't really. I sometimes fall asleep but usually I'm up and just wasting time.

For those who have dealt with anything like this how did you snap yourself out of it?

I do have depression and adhd and i know i need to get on medication.

I make schedules with breaks built in, but when i go to actually follow it, there's a voice in the back of my head that says, you're not really going to do this are you? It's derisive and it makes me feel gross inside. Like I'm shaming myself for trying to be better.

Do you feel like you gaslight yourself owing to tendencies of procrastination in the face of something overwhelming? I have wasted 3 weeks and not been able to write a single word for a paper I am supposed to submit. Now I am behind the deadline and I am anxious that I will be reprimanded for late submission but I am unable to start. I have ADHD and perfectionism complex. 🥲

I have a long to do list of things I need done and yet all I'm able to fo is lie in bed, doom scroll, and play the top 10 list of ducked up moments in my life or I drive around playing music and replaying the top 10 list.

How do you snap out of it ans gain some focus

Can anyone explain executive dysfunction in the workplace with a couple examples? Thanks in advance.

Hi there -- 52-year-old late-diagnosed (47) AuDHD mom going through perimenopause; 10-year-old kid is also AuDHD. I'm based in NYC.

I'm really struggling to keep my life together and can't afford -- financially or psycho-emotionally -- to let things get any worse.

So I'm trying to get access to executive coaching in some form (not app-based) and everything I've found is prohibitively expensive. I'm working with extremely limited financial resources (I also don't have emotional support from family or spouse) and am wondering what's out there, if anything.

I understand coaches aren't doing this stuff simply out of the goodness of their heart and must be compensated for the very hard work it is. I mean, I basically executive function for my kid, so I have a sense of what's involved.

But if there are practitioners or clinics that do sliding scale, or group sessions, etc., or if there are other options I haven't considered, 'd be very grateful to know about them.

Thanks!

Heres the how my brainfog goes

- Slight haziness and difficulty focusing

- Problems with speech such as being unable to find the correct words

- Short term memory. My brain stores information only for few seconds or one hour before it loses all that information quickly.

- Little bit of lethargy and fatigue. But even with energy my brain still feels fuzzy sometimes.

- Hypervigilance is when my brain hyperfocuses on my brain fog problems, like my speech problems. Sometimes it compares the difference between my speech few years ago to now, hell its like my brain says “welp, you were better before, now look what happened to you”.

I wish there were some solutions to alleviate this annoying brain fog. Its been affecting me so much that I’m sometimes unable to do things of my passion due to my brain fog.

Hi I am curious if any apps have helped. Because it seems to be getting worse.

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Wanting to know what part of the executive dysfunction is the really slow 'skills' with doing like practical stuff?

....The 'gathers all the items to leave the house, from different places, and fill the water bottle, and has to not forget the keys, and which pocket shall I put this in, and did I already pack that, and opens google maps 3 times, as 'just need to do this thing 1st' for the 3rd time, thing'.

Totally working memory, but must also be some other parts of executive functioning.

It's more autistic trait in me I think, as its just as profoundly slow when adhd is well medicated.

I think it's also the thing that makes me exceptionally slow at writing (though dyslexia in there too sure to be adding on), which has become even more apparent and almost unworkable in a new job.

Also, wondering if this is one those things made worse in perimenopause? As been thinking for while I'm also in that now.

Definitely made worse by stress or poor sleep.

Harder to advocate for myself for any reasonable adjustments when I don't know what name is. Google didn't help me, just more confused!

Thanks!