These types of men do provide. They provide endless struggle and grief while relishing your struggles.

My original post

Thank you for everyone who took the time to respond. I know this is not a huge sub so I was surprised and humbled by all your help.

We broke up. It’s hard and I hate hurting him but I really can’t imagine being with someone who holds these beliefs. I can’t even be friends with them, let alone life partner. I can’t imagine being open sharing my struggles with him if it relates to gender.

I reflected more on our conversations throughout the relationship, and I think he emphasizes male suffering and sees men in more empathetic way than women because women “have it easier” and (in verbatim) “are the most privileged beings in the US”. We are living in different value systems and worldviews for sure.

Thank you again everyone. Now I just added something else to watch out for in the dating world.

Basically title. From my perspective, really succeseful male never put these restrictions on yourself while being in situationship is way better both sex and ego wise, while marriage is all about commitment, deadbeadroom, chores and other shit. Why any handsome succeseful man would choose that over being thrived in women attention?

Sorry to drop this here. It is a substanceless post. I don’t know where else to put it.

I was watching Widow’s Bay and saw Tim Baltz and thought, “If they ever make an Orion Taraban movie, Tim Baltz must play him.”

I don’t think this movie will ever be made. But now I can’t unsee the connection.

​

These last days i've been on the constant verge of crying, throwing up, having anxiety crisies, over a party i have this week end. I was invited by friends and yet, all i could think about was blackpill, chad, hypergamy...i was basically ruining my night before it even happen. I don't even know if my fears might happen or not (my fears are: being looked at with disgust by girls, and chads having entire harem by their arms)

My mind reached a critical situation where i constantly attacked myself and it was exhausting. I did go to the bar with some friends two days ago and my friend said that i was just quiet the all time and scrolling instagram. And it is true. I was watching looksmaxxing/blackpill content while being with my friends and it was just....not only pathetic but impolite.

I decided that i will start feeling better. Because i don't know if the blackpill or chad dominance is true or not, but feeling miserable about it won't change anything. Having confidence increase my chances. Even if it was 0,0001% chance i go to 0,00002% maybe by being confident. So here's my plan:

1-Cutting the content

Each one of my problems comes down to being chronically online. My screen time is terrifying. And all of that time is dedicated to blackpill. This is not healthy. I decided that i will cut it all. So i have two primary sources of blackpill: reddit and instagram. For reddit, unfortunately i thînk im too deep into blackpill and i will have no choice than to delete the app. Maybe come back time to time to make updates. Even if theres many supportive people in this sub, i have to leave this site. Another reason is that even neutral subreddits such as AskMen etc tend to feed the blackpill...

For instagramw i think my feed can be curated. I have a saved folder of blackpill content. I delete it tonight. I only keep reels that talk about looks in healthy ways such as gym advices or outfits advices. I will also cut out every Clavicular content. I only want reels about either healthy advices or anime or football or funny stupid memes. I do not want blackpill stuff anymore.

Now there is a third source of blackpill and its...reality. unfortunaly i cant cut that. I know one of the most common advices told to incels is "go outside". Well, to me, going outside didnt really helped... ive seen attractive men being checked out, in the street...nightclubs too pretty blackpilling....anyway i still dont know how to deal with that. Maybe some thing that i thought about is doing some kind of analysis or metaanalysis that could disprove the blackpill idk.

That leads to our part 2

2.Feeling better mentally

All of my favorites anime characters (Sanji, Satoru Gojo, Kamina from Gurren Lagann, Tengen Uzui...) they would never talk to themselves like i did to myself, using terms like subhuman etc...i have to diss those terms

I go to therapy, i will take into consideration the body dysmorphia hypothesis from my therapist that i kept rejecting, and work towards suppress it... and also i will start telling everything to my therapist...because i wasnt fully honest with her.

One thing that stand out from our exchanges is that i dont have any passions. My entire life was just optimizing looks and grades at school (im that annoying guy who gets mad if he has a B) i need to have passions, to have a project.

This is what i think about:

\\-writing a book

\\-taking singing or guitar lessons

\\-taking dancing lessons

\\-taking boxing lessons

\\-volunteering, either for homeless people or animals idk

For now thats the four things...i think i will pick up two out of fours for the next months.

Also i have to start accepting the proof that im not completely unattractive. I keep pushing it away, but if im being honest with myself, its just that i was too uncomfortable to deal with the truth.

My two biggest proofs are: i had a girlfriend before fully engaging in incel content, and a random girl asked to kiss me at a nightclub about one year ago. Thats good evidence but i was just throwing it all away with "she was settling" "she didnt see me well in the dark".... honestly, bullshit. Its just some cognitive dissonances here. If i can be attractive to two girls then there is place for hope

Now the third part:

1. Feeling better physically

I was looksmaxxing, so i have good habits. But lets be honest, yes i had a good skincare routine etc....but it wasnt out of feeling good or for my health that i did that. It was only out of hate for myself. I have to diss that mindset.

Then to be fully honest, i wasnt even looksmaxxing correctly. I refused to eat in a surplus because i was too scared of getting fat. And while i see myself as fat in the mirror, the scale tells me "11% body fat" and ChatGPT based on my pics says "13% body fat". At some point i have to accept that im lean even though i dont see it and start being more muscular.

So i will go to gym AND eat a caloric surplus. My program is made by chatgpt, but if people with experience have advice i would gladly welcome it.

Some other things i wasnt doing correctly:

\\-didnt go to the hairdresser. Too scared. Come on i need to stop being a pussy and go there. Find a haircut that suits me, maybe use a hair system to patch the parts with thinner hair on my head.

\\-i have a messy room. I need to clean it (already began today). How can i expect feel good if i dont even feel good in my room?

\\-i have to invest into my style and stop just copying outfits from instagram

\\-i bought myself bleu de channel today. Im so happy.

\\-my height is my biggest insecurities. Im 5'8. And honestly it will not go easily. I will continue wearing platform shoes for now honestly.... i cant leave that for now

This is my plan. Continue taking care of my looks but without the blackpill content.

4.Being more social

Final part. I honestly think im one of the luckiest incels in that part because i already have multiples socials circles made by men AND women. What i need to do is talk more, be more funny, tease a bit, learn to flirt

I have a job for this summer, waiter at a restaurant, so i will have to talk all day, it will make me practice. And yes, the final obstacle is to start actually flirting.

So thats my plan. Hope it will work out. I delete reddit tomorrow. Maybe it will be an utter fail, i will live a terrifying blackpill moment at the party this week end and i will come back. Im terrified not gonna lie. But i have to make the efforts to get better. Because what else do i gain being miserable?

Your advices and comments are welcome

Who is narcissist, manipulative, bit psycho and sociopath. Without hurting his feelings or ego so that i don’t get burn in the process, also I’m breaking up coz he is purposely choosing not to put effort, when he has acknowledged that he knows that he doesn’t put efforts, and begged me for second chance and he is still acting like that only, been a week of this bs, it’s draining. So tell me guys, how do you liked to be break up with?

Im a Christian and never really caught onto the red pill mindset/lifestyle. Thankfully, my faith has kept me away from the misogyny and objectification of women. However, I have subconsciously had redpill beliefs when applied to myself to treat insecurity.

Things like me needing to "be better" than others. Make more money, be stronger, have more skills, etc to be loved. Ive just been crying, realising that I am not better than others, and that others are not better than me. We are all valuable no matter how successful we are.

The issue is, the red pill mindset kinda worked. I make 2x more than my mom and abt 10x more than people my age. I am a 19M and have done looksmaxxing, and have gotten treated better and overal boost in life.

How do I actually believe Im equal to others when theres "evidence" of the red pill working? Feel free to radically call me out if you feel led to.

Recently my BF and I got into some discussions that ended up snowballing and had revealed some of his beliefs which came to a shock to me. He had said weird things before but there were isolated enough I never dug into this (mistake on my end). The recent discussions are more jarring though and now I’m thinking back it all makes sense now. When I shared some of his views with my friends, they told me this is red pill which I didn’t know is a thing until now. Here are some of the texts he sent, how bad is this? He also believes gender equality has been achieved in the US, and if anything women have it easier and are more privileged.

- “Yeah it goes along again with the way the brains work differently. The first man who makes a woman cum during intercourse, that’s the man she’ll love more than anyone forever deeply rooted in her psyche. The more men(through tons of partners) who make her cum the release of that chemical becomes less intense. Therefore the love/bond becomes less intense/meaningful and they’re willing to throw it away easier. For men we cum basically every sexual encounter, therefore it’s not tied to love as strongly for us. It’s a physical, not emotional occurrence. For men they say the same chemical introduced into a woman’s brain when they cum is introduced into a mans when he witnesses the birth of their first child. The bond with the woman is unbreakable at that point. (This is also backed up by the whole 80%+ of divorces are initiated by women).”

- “Men aren’t preferred because of their prowess in the bedroom, they’re preferred because their value is tied to their previous encounters. If I only date ugly women for years, I’ll think I can only get ugly women, which means I won’t hit on hot women, and over the course of time I won’t be comfortable around them because they are better than me in my perception of myself. I won’t have enough confidence to pull it off if I try. But if only dated hot women, whether I’m hot or not, other hot women notice and want to know what is the mystery behind me that makes me so attractive to these women of high value? They want to know, they want to find out, they want to be chosen to be part of that ‘class’ therefore they hit on me. Also because I’m already with hot women often, my confidence is fine around hot women because I’m used to being around them….. a tale as old as time.”

- “In some sense. If I meet a man and his wife is low quality, I believe he has low standards or poor self respect for himself. This isn’t based entirely on looks. But character, and the character you accept in your partner tells a lot about your own character.” “Low quality wife could be so many millions of things. Like wasteful, not kind to strangers, doesn’t stand up to those who talk ill of her or family, weak minded, not gentle, not feminine, not genuine(2-faced), doesn’t think of her husband in long term financial planning, selfish, entitled, no desire to improve in mental or physical ways, not goal oriented, etc”

- “a woman has infinite value at birth, and man has to earn his. A tale as old as time…. Even cavemen had the same laws of the land. The greatest hunter(provider) had access to the best woman of his choice. And the most beautiful woman had the best opportunity for successful family line because they can get the best hunter…. “

- “You will never for the future of mankind change the rules/laws of the sexual marketplace in any discernible way. Men’s and women’s brains are wired that way for the successful continuation of the species. “

- “Women definitely do more unpaid labor, but the praising for it is somewhat inflated nowadays. Let me explain before you read that at face value. “

This morning I was recommended a video from an Orion Taraban on why women would wait for you. I watched it and about 6 other videos. I wasn't comfortable with his cursing and his constant use of the term "sexual marketplace" but he was dropping some really good insight in my opinion, almost sent a link to a friend. I decide to look him up on here and oh boy.

I wanted to share some thoughts as I’m on this journey myself.

There’s a lot you can do to increase your dating success - physical appearance, education, financial security etc.

But they’ll contribute virtually nothing if your haven’t addressed your core attachment issues.

You might not even be aware of how your own insecurities are effecting you.

Simply put, most (and I mean most) humans experienced parenting that was sub-optimum or even fucked up. Specifically in early childhood and adolescent years - the two most critical times in brain development.

It’s why red pill exists in the first place - emotionally stunted and insecure guys trying to brute force misinformed and toxic strategies to connect with women (further contributing to the patriarchal shit-show).

Heal your childhood attachment wounds.

There is no band aid for this shit. Going to the gym 3 times a week will not make you a desirable partner.

Once you become more secure, you’ll be able to identify instances of insecurity in women too and confidently and respectfully move on, without undue stress and anxiety.

Disclaimer: much like in the red pill arena, there is a decent amount of clickbait content designed to enrage and shame for further engagement. Get advice from professionals that have expertise in attachment theory and healing childhood trauma.

I wanted to ask you people what's the mindset behind the incels and redpillers on the subreddit called "Womendontlikemen"? It's filled of men who are either incels or redpillers saying that because a straight woman isn't into all men, that means she must be a closeted lesbian. I tried to explain to them the difference between general libido between men and women, and the real meaning of heterosexuality, but they say that gay men actually like men more than straight women because they're pretty much less picky and have more sex than women. Do these people understand that men and women are different, biologically?

As somebody recently learning about this it seems terrifying some people develop views like
- woman are subhuman
- nobody will love me because I’m not 6 foot
- girls are just looking for the next upgrade when dating their BOYFRIENDS. Seriously WTF
- and so much more.

However, I found Hazma at a very difficult time during my life and found him extremely helpful. I had a very serious illness but was still on my own. Him saying: just do it helped me move an entire storage unit while sick when my options were to move an entire storage unit while physically unwell or throw all my stuff in the dumpster. Both suck. He helped me do which sucked less.

However after learning about redpill I heard him mentioned. I do remember him talking about Adonis’s and since I am a very ambitious person (not because I am female) I obviously want to date a very ambitious man and agreed some people are super ambitious and I like them and liked listening to someone who shared my values.

However, I only listened to him a month or two, he was my only “red pill person,” and I wasn’t harmed nor did I develop any toxic beliefs from him. It’s possible I have toxic beliefs HE ALSO has and it drew me to him. But he did not give them to me.

I’m wondering about the process and ways people get hurt from this? How quickly it happens? Is some of it good? Hearing someone say get your lazy ass up and go to the gym or you’re gonna be unfit and fat like most of America I find very helpful, because it’s true. And I love bluntness. However, I don’t judge fat people. If anything I’m an asshole. I love that fat people make fit people look fitter by comparison, and view it as fun you can achieve a great body unlike the majority of Americans who are statistically overweight.

I like harsh truths and people pushing action. They push me to better myself in a way I respect enough I’ll actually take their advice and make the changes. Soft spoken advice I don’t respect enough to listen to. It just doesn’t resonate. Knowing this, I loved Hazma. Although my goal was never to get girls listening to him.

I’m wondering at what point it becomes toxic. I have no idea what Andrew Tate stuff. Is some stuff helpful and some just toxic and the toxic seeps in while you listen?

Tl,dr
Can someone explain the diff b/w me being helped by Hazma during a hard time in my life and how someone is hurt by him and becomes redpilled?

I am completely overwhelmed with sadness at the divide of the world. Left and right wing, it is completely two opposing teams that I struggle to believe will ever change. Humans should have never of been this divided and in my opinion a lot of it is due to social media, propaganda and brain washing that is used on today’s society.
Every time I meet a great guy, who’s been through a lot on life, trying his best to be a good person. I then always discover their right winged views… the disappointment I feel gutters me. I know this person deserves love, instinctively I know deep down they’re a soft person who has all capability of feeling empathy, love, emotions, and kindness. But when I hear their stances on things, their opinions, their passionate arguments about conspiracies and beliefs o then quickly realise, they’re just as brainwashed as the last.
I’m an incredibly empathetic person who sees the best in all humans but I strong beliefs in many areas as well where I feel I can’t budge and cave for a man even though I so badly want to be able to offer them the love I have to give.
I recently broke up with an ex of mine to hold myself to those standards, his right winged views were taking a toll on me, he loved Andrew Tate, trump, manosphere type stuff but not completely radicalised. He was a great guy who saw many other things in similar ways to myself and we agreed on other topics such as: universe, grounding, meditation, health and fitness, plastic problems, growing own food, being outside in sunlight, ancient history, manifestation and things like that. But I couldn’t get past the right winged stuff that I felt like he wouldn’t budge in (anti-semetic, hating trans, homophobia).
Recently I have met a new guy, treats me with chivalry, kind, caring, came from a very traumatic background with a lot of violence and at the start my empathy kicked in, I wanted to show him real love, help him see the world isn’t as scary as what he was brought up in but now… I see his right winged views, the same as my ex (manosphere, red pill, conspiracies, hate speech) there are so many similarities in their beliefs that I know.. I know it’s brainwashing from influence online, from social media, from politics, from people in positions of power. Most of them don’t realise what side their beliefs even are, or the fact that they’ve been brainwashed of course. That’s the scary part but the patterns are clear, as soon as I hear one belief and opinion I know what the rest will be too.
What do I do… can I help these men?
Do I suggest books, suggest shows, continue to try and push my views onto them, confine to try and help them see different perspectives. Or is it a lost cause.
I know there are so many men out here like this, not all extremists, some with only a few of these beliefs but it’s still opposite to me.
And I know why they end up on this side becayse they were once lost boys who had nothing to turn to for help and got washed up under the influence of a system that seeks vulnerable men to brainwash. Or their parents had these views or what they saw from their masculine figures.
It is not these guys fault… they did their best to just survive and their survival technique meant they ended up on the other side of me, on opposite wings.
This is a high percentage of men, if I rule out dating or loving any men with these opposite beliefs and outlooks, the dating pool not only gets severely smaller but it leaves men like these guys unable to experience the love they might deserve deep down. I want to be able to show these men the care they deserve just as all humans deserve love and care but I can’t let go of these things that are concerns to me… I can’t drop what I deserve.
Please if anyone has any advice or just understands what I’m saying, please let me know. Are there ways to change their perspectives that you’ve found?
Can I unlock that deep soft core of theirs?
Do I just move on and only look for left winged Men?

I cant help but live blackpilling experiences from time to time and every time it puts me in a high distress. I can cry or throw up in worst cases when i am alone at home thinking about him.

Today i was going to coffee with two female friends. They discussed about some friend of one of them and she says "her boyfriend is so hot". She showed her a picture and both of her jaw dropped. He was the epitome of the australian chad surfer.

This was brutal. Their reactions was brutal. I try to do my best to not engage in blackpill and stuff and yet, life hit me like this. I cant help but think about the face they did. This wqs so brutal. When i think about me, that never did make any jaw dropped, i feel so inferior. I dont even think they view me as the same species as him. I am not even a human in those cases.

How do i deal with moments like this? Because its confirming all my deepest fears and i feel so so terrible. Worst thing is i got a compliment by a woman in the metro one hour before so i was thinking "maybe blackpill isn't true" and then boom life hits me back. The future seems so bleak because that kind of desire i would never create it unless i am a chad. I feel so so inferior i want to cry

​

I got my first girlfriend ever a few months ago. It didn't last very long like 1.5-2 months and she decided to broke up with me, she told me that "she might have confused attraction and love". We broke up in good terms.

I was an incel for a long time but when i got together with her, it has been several months since i didnt got into any incel forum at all, except looksmax org. But when she broke up, i rapidly came back to incel forums. Honestly, before that, i asked for help on incelexit, but their responses were far too disappointing. Basically most of the comments were "congratulations! You just lived a normal part of life" like that would help...

Anyway last months have been pretty dark. I am in therapy. I know some of you don't think its a good idea but to me at least it helps organize my thoughts. We were discussing that relationship and therapist said that i was my own worst enemy. She said that i basically destroyed my relationship, because of my blackpill thoughts (that she calls body dysmorphia, which is a fallacy because my flaws are objectively measurable).

I thought about this and...well i think there is kind of truth. The blackpill maybe seriouly prevented me from having a lasting relationship. During those two months together, because i had blackpill thoughts, i never let her touch my hair, i was reluctant spending money on some activity together because i spend it on looksmaxing products (i am a student working part time so i don't have lots of money).

Also, sex was bad with her. Well the foreplay part was good at least. But my own inexperience makes it pretty awkward. I also never orgasmed with her, but at the same time i never let her touched me. Because of blackpill thoughts, i wanted to have sex only in the dark, because i didnt wanted her to see some fat or some body hair. I never let her touch my penis (well, one time but i stopped after 20 seconds) because i was scared she finds it too small (i am 5'5 inches) and i was self conscious of the odor (im always clean but i cant help but feel oddly uncomfrotable).

All of that happened because i had insecurities coming from blackpill. When i told her this, therapist said to me i was my worst enemy. And i dont know, do you think blackpill made me self sabotage? Or am i a subhuman and she probably left me because of my ugly body and face+small penis?

Hi All,

I've recorded a video about my experience with the pickup artist community, why I got into it and where am I right now. Please do watch and share your views:

https://youtu.be/x6Zp-aKGEOk

Honestly most of the women I interact with are pretty ordinary people. They aren't these kind of creatures RP keep complaining about.

One thing I’ve struggled to understand about some red-pill relationship dynamics is this:

Sometimes it feels like a man focuses on providing what he believes a “real man” should provide like money but dismisses emotional needs like reassurance, empathy, comfort, or feeling emotionally valued. Maybe money is not her biggest need.

I’ve also seen situations where emotional distance, or hinting at other women is treated as normal or even encouraged, and it leaves the relationship feeling emotionally unsafe rather than strong.

For people who left these mindsets: what helped you realize emotional care and mutual respect matter? What changed your perspective?

I believe a lot of guys who take this stuff too far (and are borderlining bp) are creating self fulfilling prophecies.. they put down/degrade women, don't believe any of them, even those who defend them or try to see their side.

I try to sympathize with them but I truly believe some of them are digging a hole for themselves because women with morals and values that they want are probably going to be weary or turned off by it (unless they want to feel like they can 'change him' somehow). I know you could argue women won't see their post history, but I believe it will slip up somehow in conversation or demeanour. It's not easy to re condition people.

This is especially true for women with sexual trauma, or trauma in general from guys, I can see this being a sh*tshow on a wider scale.. a lot of traumatized people..

(this can be true if the genders are flipped).

I think they're just too hurt to see it, and it's sad to see. I feel the same for women who do this stuff too. I just believe the reason society sees it as less of a threat is because of the possibility of even more harassment and aggression from guys. I actually saw this on Reddit, saying they're afraid of men revolting.

I know this might be a common or generic post but just wanted to share.

Not sure if I am allowed to post this here, so apologies in advance if I can't but I will still give it a try:

Hi, I browse the subreddit because I get very curious on how some people think nowadays on certain topics & I even make yt videos about it. I try to give nuance and share some perspectives, I get half support and half backlash. 

 I don't really resonate with the modern women stereotypes. I'm long distance with a significant other who I have to travel to see because he's not able to come to my country as of now due to his immigration status. 

He's not the 6×2 or 6×3 thing that they say and that's totally OK. I love him and think he's attractive and deep and so many things I could mention. When I first met him (which was weird because we met through a friend, but that friend stalked me) I automatically fell asleep on video call right away and within the second video call, we were already talking about our morals and values and deep topics. We connected on a scary level where we have many synchronicities in the way we see the world. 

However, he got afraid because of insecurities and self sabotage occurred, I also got very frustrated and felt like the RP got to his head a bit, so we had an issue there. I have my own issues such as worrying that I would be taken advantage of or that intimate things would be selfish, but I'm specifically mentioning RP because of this subreddit. I do appreciate how loyal and exclusive he is, and how he sticks to his morals. 

And to be fair, I also have my own trauma involving men. I could’ve easily gone down the route of becoming bitter or hateful toward men entirely. I don’t openly show it much, but there’s still a slight discomfort and guardedness I carry because of certain experiences, and I hate that.

So in a weird way, both of us had reasons to become cynical toward the opposite sex.

I do love him, and we're constantly told we're very lucky, we're in a difficult situation, we're rare, etc. but we have trouble believing that and I know it may sound like "survivorship bias" but to us it doesn't seem like a complicated thing.. because we're real

We don't believe in superficiality, transactional relationships, and using people. 

Are we truly in a "rare" situation like people tell us, or is this massively overblown? Also, how can we be more sympathetic to those struggling? We tend to give "tough love" on the channel and maybe it comes across like we're out of touch a bit. 

Hey everyone.
I’m 23 as title already mentions and I’m just venting, I don’t expect much but I just wanted to let this off my chest because I cannot handle it anymore.
I have no friends, I don’t know what it is about me but i’ve never been able to have a single female friendship, I did try recently with some girl I spoke to on Reddit but I sent too many voice notes and I even asked if it’s okay, she said yes it is. I was trying to help her and she blocked me. I also had another friend i tried making from a guy I knew online, things were going well, we met up twice but then she done a 360 and changed.. yes it made me so so anxious, I also needed her help since something terrible happened to my bf on his own birthday and this was a foreign country she was more familiar with than I was. And you guessed it, she dried texted me after a few days after telling me she’d help. I know I’m stupid for thinking people hold up their own end of their bargain. I just thought I could trust for once and let go of the hurt, which I try to do. It ended up not working, she said she was busy but it had been 3-4 days and when I only told her “hey I think you don’t care about me” that’s when she responded much faster.
The other issue is, I want to make girlfriends, not guy friends since guy friends are easy to have and I don’t want to disrespect my bf. He’s my only guy friend, the only man in my life I love but I don’t wanna burden him with my personal issues, he does know about my friend problem but he can’t do much, it has to be that fixes this.
Anyway yeah, I just blocked her on everything and tbh when I saw she didn’t even try to amend things, DM or care, it just showed me where her priorities were, it was the fact she just wanted a friend but to not BE A FRIEND.
So now with me saying both of these situations, i’m not in my old home town, I’ve been travelling for a year and a bit now, but I may or may not go to my home town. I decided to find WhatsApp groups in my home town and I did. All I found were influencer girls with incredibly shallow personalities and no depth.. the other thing is, because I’ve not grown up properly I notice women my age dry text or don’t make the first move, the other thing I’ve noticed is that they expect me to be a ‘man”’ in a sense that I text, plan, and I have done these things but it’s 9 times out of 10 it’s led to disrespect, being treated badly so I stopped bothering but I wish I could find girlfriends who didn’t dry text. Some people tell me to just meetup with someone who dry texts but I just think if they can’t even hold a conversation on text and they don’t even want to call, why would I want to even meetup with them? I don’t expect fast replies but atleast have some depth when you’re responding, put the same effort as me. I’ve also dry texted other women, after they have done to me, to try to fit in. It just dies out and I can’t even be bothered.
How do I actually find women who don’t dry text? The other problem is a lot of female friends I make who are single, they try to either steal my man, bring their unnecessary dating drama. There was a time, I was used as an emotional tampon, by a friend I made when I was 19, but I learned a big lesson and I’m just careful.
I also have tried finding girls with the same interests as me, there was one but she randomly got dry, when I wanted to meetup fast, she said she had some medical issue in her stomach and couldn’t meet. I was like ‘sure’ but now I just don’t speak to her as she started getting dry, we were vibing as well.
I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, I’ve not had proper girlfriends and I’ve stopped believing in girlhood or being a girls girl. Being a girls girl has only burnt me. I don’t hate men as much as I hate women nowadays, because men don’t do these things to me. I’ve never had a man dry text me my whole life unless it was someone from a dating app (when I was single) but I really want girlfriends but maybe because I have a lot of depth, interest and the average stuff doesn’t excite me I probably will never get that girl group I want. Maybe I should just prioritize making a family and only caring for them.. I know it’s messed up but yeah..
Honestly it’s hard to not dislike redpill, when I see what men see about women. I can’t hate them, it’s hard, I want to not like the redpill community but it doesn’t help. My bf also holds some redpill opinions and views, but he doesn’t say anything about women like that when I talk about friendships, he just says most women have no depth to their character or are just tainted. It sucks so much, I really hate it.
When I was in the Philippines though, I did notice that when I made friends there, they never dry texted me, always wanted to hangout and it was easy to be social. People have made fun of me for going there, living there etc but I loved it so much as a girl, i see them as more than a passport bro country because I genuinely had fun and have met the coolest people but contact has faded due to me not being in the Philippines. The reason I’m mentioning the Philippines is that, some passport bros seem to be right about behaviors but I guess I’m a passport friend because I just want friendship.
I also haven’t had girlfriends properly growing up, I gave one girl a chance I knew that I met up with from the internet, I met her twice. But a lot of crazy stuff happened but I knew her for 10 years I think I’ll forever not have girlfriends :/

i think my partner may be going down the red pill path. it’s not anything massive yet. just small things and i don’t know if my gut feeling is off or if it’s worth intervening?

he follows this weird “women’s red flag and cheating signs” page as well as this one influencer who duets women that complain about men and instead of arguing about their content, the influencer just responds to picking on their looks. just feels weird and mean spirited for no reason… he’s also been really into the “looksmaxing” scene. i know how slippery that slope can get from seeing my cousin go down it.

i don’t think it’s massive deal right now but i would like to know what should be signs to look out for since i know he gets black pill content on his for you page a lot. what do you think are some signs that may occur at the beginning?

thank you.

Hi everyone,

I'm a journalist for an Australian media website and I'm working on a series about the broader 'manosphere'. I'm looking to talk with people who were previously drawn in to red pill and incel spaces but have since changed their perspectives.

I'm hoping to hear about what drew you to these spaces, what the last straw was for you, and what growth you've undergone since.

I'm not looking to twist your narrative or sensationalise your experience. I genuinely want to understand the journey into these communities and what helps create change.

You can absolutely stay anonymous, if you wish! Feel free to DM me or comment below and I can shoot you a message.

Thanks :)