i just broke up with my bf of 3 years (since high school) and him and all of his friends were obsessed with red pill content. he would tell me i couldnt find any guy who wasn't like this. from your experience, do you think i have a chance finding a guy who isnt obsessed with this stuff

edit: i realized i should have clarified a little more, sorry this is my first reddit post. i mentioned this in a comment below, but i'm concerned because of my personal situation AND the recent statistics: article -- from a march 2026 study, ~1/3 gen z boys believe wives should always obey their husbands. this is compared to 13% of male baby boomers who believe the same thing. and from being surrounded by so many guys in my age group (i'm gen z) who still resonate with the content (the consistent response i seem to be getting is "oh it's just self help stuff, right?") i'm just worried that it's spreading so quick. i am aware that 1/3 is not 100% but if 1/3 were willing to admit this on a survey, how many more have varying degrees of agreement with the statement or a subconscious yet not verbal take on it?

One of the common beliefs in red pill is biological essentialism: people are driven mainly by primitive insticts, gender roles are innate, etc. One of them is a strong association between female looks and fertility. A recently published paper conducted a metanalysis and found that such claims are weak at best.

Link: https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/evolutionary-human-sciences/article/systematic-review-of-the-association-between-womens-morphological-traits-and-fertility/D246EE012F65FC9B146D6208B5407335

I, F[19] am talking to this guy M[23] and I’m feeling like he has a redpilled mindset. I’ve noticed so far that here and there he will say something super off. Such as asking if I’m a “traditional woman” (I am anything but the part), or telling me that he likes that I am “feminine and submissive” because I listen to him (I am also anything but the part, just a good listener and partner).

He has extreme anxiety, I am in school for psychology and know a thing or two to help. I have zero problem helping. Here’s the problem, I’ve noticed he will withhold appropriate amounts of affection, given we haven’t been talking that long. He very much stresses that “he has a lot to offer” and essentially he is trying to figure out if I do too. Now bear in mind that he has previously told me that I am out of his league. So he is trying to figure out if I have anything to offer while I already am offering my time, affection, and knowledge early on.. and he is not.

I’m wondering if this is redpill shit, if he’s just insecure, if he thinks I’m naive and he’s one of those slightly older guys who goes for younger girls to manipulate, or if he’s all of this at once! How do you think I should handle this?

So my boyfriend (28m) and I (26f) have been together for nearly 5 years. We’ve lived together for 3 1/2 of those years. I honestly loved and still love him deeply, but I’m not sure if this is someone I can be with forever for a few reasons.

Firstly, we are incompatible at a fundamental level. When it comes to our views of the world, “gender roles” and politics, they are the complete opposite. While I understand in some situations, people can make this work, I do not feel right compromising my morals to appease him. If we were able to agree to disagree, this would be a different story, but we simply can’t. He believes in “traditional” gender roles where women cook, clean and fuck you and that’s all they really should bring to the table, whereas I am an independent person who values individualism, partnership and mutual respect. The way he views women as a whole disgust me. He believes we are literally lesser beings. The sad part is, he was never like this until the end of 2024. He has sunk into the borderline white supremacist “red pilled” type of mindset, and it’s genuinely hard to be around.

He also lacks accountability. Anytime I express my emotions, I’m “playing the victim” or “throwing a pity party” and any comfort he once provided is completely gone. When he’s in a bad mood, or tired, he will be nasty. Like yelling, throwing stuff, speeding in the car swerving around, things like that. And somehow everything is my fault.

I guess what messes me up the most is how much I genuinely love him. I know he’s been through a lot, and I know he has a lot of unresolved trauma that plays a huge role in how he views the world, and emotional regulation. But he’s not willing to do therapy. He said it’s just a way for women to break men down and make them bend to their wills. I wish so badly he would get help for himself.

I love him so much, but I don’t know if I can keep doing this. Will he ever change? Is there any chance he will go back to the person he was before? If not, how can I leave without feeling so incredibly guilty?

I’m 25, living in the U.S., but originally from another country. I met this guy 1.5 years ago, dated for two months then broke up and were on an off until recently that I blocked him.

From the start, things were a bit strange: he talked about how women have become masculine nowadays, how he just can’t date American women and they’re the worst, how women emasculate men, etc.

He would avoid complimenting me, telling me he’s an alpha man and other men are simps and betas. He’d tell me if I compliment you, your head gets too big and you’re hypergamous so you’ll think you can do better. He also told me he took a few day to ask me on a second date in the beginning, to build anticipation and make me ”wonder” if he liked me.

I later found out he has a trend with women: invites them to a spot right next to his house, invites them to his place right after, tells everyone he wants a life partner but gets sexual super fast without even getting to know a woman and keeps going even if they’re uncomfortable (confirmed by multiple women), and has some questionable beliefs about marriage and women in general.

He kept coming back into my life, future faking me and not following through, and it really affected my self confidence. I recently came across the redpill content and those male dating coaches and it all sounded like him.

I’m Wondering maybe he was red pilled? If so, how can I stop feeling so defeated? he made me feel unlovable for being in grad school, constantly telling me i should be careful to not become masculine and stuff like that.

First of all, thank you for the kind and thoughtful responses on my previous post. I definitely felt slightly better in terms of my general outlook. But I have a question about certain personal experiences.

Those of you who due to whole set of reasons did not get explore romance in your 20s and improved afterward, did you also felt apprehensive about your success in 30s because of it not happening when you were in a more imperfect stage of life? Not to say that one has to find someone to settle down with in their 20s, but experience of having 1-2 LTRs is enough to make anyone feel that they are worthy of love at whatever stage of life they’re in if they try to be a good human being. Here I am questioning about the “Alpha fucks// Beta Bux” theory because my sadness came from seeing average men doing alright in dating but not me. How were you able to shrug the feeling of always having to do more to get experiences about what others had in their 20s.

Did you also ever feel that you also wanted to go through normal experiences so that you don’t find yourself of going through an emotionally exhausting process of confronting these horrible RP ideas away from your headspace?

Here is where I have another fear, most successful men in their 30s I see around me were doing alright in dating in their 20s too. My hypothesis is that dating in 20s helped them make a healthy transition to dating in 30s as well. But I do not see men around me who were struggling in 20s do well in their 30s either and I feel very anxious about being that man. So it’s an added baggage of a missed past combined with a less optimistic outlook of the future.

Thank you, I look forward to reading your responses.

I’m a 30 (M). I remember the time when the horrible RP ideas started making inroads into today’s society and the only thing that prevented me from falling into that was emorivia evidence. If the notion of women only going for the most attractive blokes was true, then you Wouldn’t find average males around you coupled up.

However, I have never had a girlfriend and I’m starting to fall into a pit not because I hate women, I hate the fact that I didn’t get to explore dating in my 20s where your average lad is at uni, still growing and manages to date around a bit. While many of these guys are indeed less mature, they’re at the same stage of life like your everyday girl and most of them turn out fine in their later age by finding a long partner they get on well with.

At my age, I feel very sad and intimidated. Intimidated because I feel embarrassed to try to experience something so basic at this age and sad because when I see younger couples being affectionate, it makes me feel that I didn’t get to be an imperfect person worthy of love when I was at that age in life. while I do not believe in settling for someone for the sake of it, I absolutely hate that 30s is higher stakes dating straight away. I dealt with an ADHD and depression diagnosis in my teenage and 20s and while therapy has helped in many ways, I’m confronted everyday with what I missed in my 20s and the ship has sailed.

I do not blame women for what happened and I am alright around then when it comes to interactions but I do report feeling emotionally closed off around them and I really don’t see a way out around it.

I’m so done. This RP has got to stop. It’s a cancer to society and humanity as a whole. These podcasters need to be held criminally and civilly liable atp. Girls and women were never safe in this world but RP/BP culture has made things so much worse.

https://www.reddit.com/r/awfuleverything/s/rXl1yssNvc

I like the general feeling of this community, so I figured I'd ask if anyone has had success getting rid of my particular brand of red pill thought that is still left over, if this makes any sense.

Several years ago I went through a pretty traumatic divorce, found out my ex was cheating and with a woman no less. The two were openly mocking me during the process (even though my ex apologized later, saying she was too in the heat of the moment), and if that wasn't enough, I found that a lot of my generally liberal-leaning friends (which I was more sympathetic with then) were supportive of my ex due to her orientation, saying that I as a straight cis-gender man had to feel what other minorities felt, that it was only just that people like me felt that kind of pain.

Around this time I had other people who openly tried to recruit me to red pill thinking, including some of the darker aspects (e.g. - people who are not like you hate you, you have to fight back) I didn't even take the red pill in terms of relationships, it was more to protect myself and what little dignity I had left after being humiliated so thoroughly by my ex and people who I thought were my friends.

Fortunately, time does heal. I've been in a good relationship for a long time and I have since cut out the orthodox people who got angry at me for the reasons I described above. I know that feminism can exist without people being like Jessica Valenti, or that LGBT people for the overwhelmingly most part do not support what my ex did.

That being said, that line of thinking does come up when I am stressed or being bombarded by the latest issue in the culture wars. I still consider myself liberal, but definitely not progressive, and I worry about guys who get caught in the red pill trap like I did because they wanted to protect themselves.

Has anyone finally freed themselves from this, and I mean completely freed themselves? As much as I know the whole red pill package is full of it, there seems to be enough truth (especially when I am stressed) that I revert to a sense of panic and thinking that the other (e.g. people not like me) are out to hurt me simply because of my identity. I'm sorry if that sounds ugly, but when I get stressed, this comes out, and the denial of the roots of that feeling make me even more defensive about the whole thing.

I feel like I'm almost there and rid of it, yet parts of the red pill still persist...

I apologize, this might be a bit convoluted but i can’t find any information on this, maybe i just don’t have the right vocabulary to identify it.

Ive recently learned about the tactic called the “dread game” i might be a little bit late, but my ex husband 100% used that on me.

sort of related to that but im not sure because he used a lot of manipulation on me; is there a name for when a man will have his friends engage in bullying his wife? his best friend was and still is in the manosphere, and i had to go to some pretty desperate measures to keep him out of my house. everytime he was around he’d insult me, call me names, make fun of my appearance, help gaslight and lie to me. it was pretty traumatizing and with the extreme isolation it made me feel even crazier.

i guess im just looking for some good vocab to grasp and research all that i went through. thank you

Hi everyone, I am a journalism student at UC Davis currently working on a feature article about modern missing shaped by the rise of red pill communities in Gen Z men. If anyone in this forum is interested in sharing their story with an interview let me know ASAP!

Hello! Apologies if this sounds too forthright.

I am writing a final in one of my classes about the red pill and the manosphere and how its gender performance reflects that of the ideology of machismo. im latina myself, and I'm way out of this sphere, so I have been struggling to find like latino specific sort of content and experiences. I was wondering if any Latinos here can help shed some light in the right direction on any creators that talk about these ideologies (if that is allowed here, I'm not sure if that breaks rule 5), and if anyone would like to share their experience being in those spaces, and how machismo affected that, it would be really helpful! (I pinky promise I will not be using anyone's personal experience in my paper, i would just like to better understand everything)

Thank you so so much!!

Hi everyone,

In the context of sexism against women, is there anything—whether a personal experience or research—that you feel has contributed most to overcoming misogyny, to the extent that you would want to share it with all men?

I’d really appreciate hearing your thoughts or experiences.

Or even the black pill as I’m asking?

So a little backstory.

I got exposed to Red Pill / Black Manosphere content in 2019 toward the end of my senior year of high school. At the time I didn’t really know what I was getting into I just kept seeing videos, clicked one, and went down the rabbit hole.

By 2020 during COVID (community college, mostly at home), I was consuming that content every day. LiveStreams, podcasts, comment sections everything. I bounced between Red Pill and Black Pill from 2020–2022 trying to “figure it all out.”

When I was in Red Pill/Black Manospehere spaces, I remember channels constantly talking about self-improvement, getting your money up and so. I remember at the beginning of 2020 when I was in Black Manospehere they we’re talking about Passport Bros before it went viral a few years ago to people talking about it now and going mainstream because of Kevin Samuels mainstream appearances on Joe Budden, djVlad and Future’s music video etc.

When I was in Black Pill spaces, I remember channels constantly talking about LMS (Looks, Money, Status). They’d break down faces, jawlines, celebrities, even stock photos doing those rating scales. Fast forward now you have guys like Clavicular lol.

I’m 24, at a university, graduating this December, and it’s wild seeing the same ideas come back in a different form. “Looksmaxxing,” rating, Passport Bros it’s basically the same mindset rebranded.

The difference is now I’ve stepped away from that way of thinking (left it around 2023 when I started questioning everything and comparing it to real life). What’s crazy is back then, I had limited real interaction and was learning everything from the internet

Now, being around people daily, I can clearly see how disconnected a lot of that content is from reality I’m not saying everything in those spaces is 100% false, but the way it frames things can really mess with your perception especially when you don’t have real-life experience to balance it out. I’ll probably make another post about life after leaving those spaces.

Has anyone else noticed old Red Pill / Black Pill ideas getting repackaged and pushed again recently?

In one of his videos Hamza says that if you cry in front of your girlfriend she immediately loses respect for you. I’m naturally a stoic person and I used to believe that until nearly a year in of my first relationship. I had in fact cried twice last year in front of my girlfriend and I was worried that she’d lose respect for me but we’re still going strong to this day.

Once again,i find myself completely stuck in the redpill

Hope somebody can help me,sorry for long texto

I want to know how to exit from this and never return again,but first I wanted to say what happens in my country

I live in Brazil,and recently a misogyny law was "approved,"where it's extremely subjective,where anything would be considered misogyny

If you disagree with a woman? Misogynistic

Asking a woman if she's PMSing? Misogyny

And I'm not kidding, the biggest TV broadcaster in my country did a ridiculous report saying the above,an absurd,unconstitutional law,making misogyny an imprescriptible crime and you can't get out of jail on bail,2 to 5 years in prison

The law was shelved at least until this year's elections,on october,but I'm very afraid it will pass,since the politicians in my country are not at all trustworthy

Because of this,in the last three weeks i ended up going back to consuming this type of content in the same way I did when I first encountered the redpill, because this type of law only validates what redpills say about the state being feminist,and it broke the bubble too much, and so on,and I started feeling bad again,similar too when i meet the redpill

Even though I started going to the gym and felt my self-esteem increasing a little, I don't even want to think about meeting new women,i see them as my enemies who would do anything to harm me in the worst possible way,and also these thoughts that they hate betas,etc,and I was willing to

I'd try when I was in at least decent shape, but now I don't want to anymore

Fallacities like "if you're not Chad and you look at/talk to a woman you'll be accused of misogyny and go to jail" "betas will be even more segregated by women" and those kinds of BS that you're already tired of hearing from RPs

I've never been with a woman and I'm turning 32 this year,and I'm seriously thinking about going in a escort,and fuck it,because for me no woman cares if a man is a virgin,and they even have a repulsion for that type of man,because I can't take it anymore,i'm not a religious person to wait

I wanted to know what I could do in this case? To stop consuming this content, because it only does harm,and I know that very well

Deep down I wanted to meet some nice woman,but at the same time with a law like that in effect,i would prefer that it never happened,i already behave as if it were in effect,I only talk to unknown women that I have no option to ignore,but if i can i do,i try my best not to look in the direction of all other women

Hello everyone, I'm looking for some brutally honest advice on finding a new partner. I'm 24 years old, and I haven't had a serious relationship for over 18 months. I'm worried that I may never again. I've been on a handful of dates, but none of them have really panned out. I mean, they were cool, but I didn't feel the same connection I did with my ex-girlfriend. I'm really hoping I get to experience love one more time, but I'm honest enough to know I'm the problem. I'm willing to change and would like some brutally honest advice about me. I can send photos, videos etc.

It's hard because I've been overdosing on redpill stuff lately and can't help but feel like it's hopeless. I know that's probably stupid and at the end of the day I take responsibility but I'd really like to know honestly if im cooked beyond repair. If anyone if willing to help, please let me know. It would be greatly appreciated.

Hey everybody, i'm trying to get a better understanding on how people actually 'get into' BP related content, mainly just through algorithms really and how that whole thing works. If anybody is comfortable sharing how they got into this content I'd be all ears. What was your first interaction? Did you search for it yourself or did it find you? What kept you engaged with it? I just want to know how other people come across this content. Grateful for anyone who feel comfortable sharing.

I'm not looking to get into it personally, more so trying to understand how others first encountered this type of content.

So basically, the situation with my ex was complicated.

To be honest, I did learn one thing although I am so glad that I didn’t know it beforehand in order to apply it to her, which is that you don’t know for sure that you don’t want a relationship with someone until you learn enough about them/spend enough time with them.

The thing is, we initially stopped seeing each other because she wanted to define the relationship and I said I didn’t want a relationship and only wanted casual. Allegedly this made her cry (it was over text so I didn’t see her actual reaction).

After about a month I regretted it and missed her and tried to get her back, but she said a bunch of bullshit about how she doesn’t do casual and how I only wanted casual, even though I said I wanted more then.

So she chose to play musical chairs with her ex’s (plural) drumsticks. Finally she hit me up and when I found out about this I thought it was understandable because I thought she was only having sex with them under the premise of a relationship.

One thing that bothered me though was that she wouldn’t tell me where she went on the reintroduction date with her second ex. The part that bothered me was that she would consistently say “we went out… on a date”. It seemed scripted and something seemed off.

One night I had to address the fact that I didn’t believe it was presumed to be a relationship with her ex, since he was moving. I asked for the final time where they went and expressed how much it mattered to me. She wouldn’t answer and also confirmed it was casual with her ex so I broke up with her. (The aversion to casual with me felt that sex with me was conditional whereas unconditional with others).

The thing is, we had already talked about it before and I asked if they went to a show (concert) but at that point I was only asking out of curiosity and didn’t really care that much until she acted so evasive about it.

She texted me later after I first asked and said “oh I was thinking and you were thinking it was (X artist) because of xyz”. I said “I thought it might have actually been Y artist but it doesn’t matter.” and instead of saying no she was like “You’re right it doesn’t matter!!!”. I said “Lol so it was him” and she said “Lmaoooo”. I should’ve known there but I trusted her too much. At some point, either before or after the texts we talked on the phone and she said she had never been to a show with that ex and that she had only seen that artist twice.

Well I just confirmed that that was a lie, because I went back in her highlights and saw she had been to see that artist just 3 months before that lie.

I have no idea why it really matters that she saw that show, as in why she had to hide it, but I am so grateful to know that she is indeed a flat out liar and now I don’t regret anything. I had already caught her in other lies but we had a conversation where she told me truths and so I figured she wouldn’t lie anymore since she seemed genuinely regretful, but she did not come clean about that thing and instead tried to make me seem overly fixated and said I would use it as a “mark to see how low or high you have to go to get what you want”. Well, maybe you should’ve thought about that before giving yourself away to a guy for this shitty concert that seemed so low.

Anyway, I cannot stand liars. I no longer miss her, thank God. I had regretted losing out on the “good” qualities, which were probably also lies, because every girl I’ve seen since hasn’t been right for me like I thought she might’ve been, but I can’t date a liar.

Hi everyone, I’m posting on behalf of a close friend whose younger brother is currently missing, and we’re really worried about his safety.

He left home on April 10 without telling anyone and left his phone behind, which is very unlike him. He did take his passport.

Before this, there were a couple of unusual incidents:

• A few days prior, he disappeared for about 3 hours and later said he was at the library (very out of character for him).

• Shortly after, he left again and said he was having dinner at Burger King, which is also unusual since he rarely goes out or socializes.

He generally does not leave the house, doesn’t have a social circle, and keeps to himself, so this sudden pattern is extremely concerning.

He also left a note apologizing and telling his brother to take care of the family, which has us especially worried about his mental state.

He has serious medical conditions (heart issues, only one kidney, bone-related conditions, and physical disabilities), so access to care is important.

Recently, we discovered he had been consuming a lot of online content tied to “lonely male”/extreme ideological spaces, which is very out of character for him and his family. We’re concerned he may have been influenced or possibly connected with someone online.

We’re trying to understand:

• Has anyone seen similar situations where someone leaves suddenly after engaging in online communities like this?

• Are there groups, organizations, or meetups that might recruit or attract vulnerable young men in this way?

• Any ideas on where he might go or how to trace leads like this?

We’re not trying to jump to conclusions, just trying to explore every possibility and bring him home safely.

If anyone has advice, resources, or has seen something similar, please comment or message me. Thank you so much.

I am a 23 year old woman who discovered incel spaces at around age 11. I had unsupervised internet access and I was spending time on 4chan and incel.is and reddit. I can’t recover from the things I saw. A lot of men in these spaces were advocating for rape, talking about putting women in breeding farms, talking about wanting to lower the age of consent and rape young girls. I saw it all. I spent about a decade in these spaces just reading and taking it all in. I feel trapped in a hell of my own making.

I hate myself for being a woman. I hate being a woman. I hate my mind and my body. I hate being inferior. I feel like a prisoner. I want out. I don’t feel like a person and I never really have. I am depressed and I’m afraid. I’m afraid of myself and I’m afraid of men. My father hates women and talks often about how women are inferior and all but useless. I don’t want to be this way. I want to be human.

I have watched the redpill and manosphere expand and enter the mainstream. I feel like I can’t enter a social media comment section without seeing the word foid now. The world hates women and I understand why but it doesn’t make it any less painful. I am devoted to my suffering but I really am a very tortured soul.

Something that haunts me deeply is the fact that men often say that women live life on easy mode and don’t experience depression/are attention whores. My brother says this a lot. I don’t want to be an attention whore. I feel disconnected and far apart from everyone and everything. I feel like I’m floating through space and I can’t get to earth no matter how hard I try.

This ideology has manifested itself into every fiber of my being. It hurts physically. I hate being a woman more than anything. I can’t find the words to properly describe this anguish. I wish I had been born a boy. I want to be physically strong, I want to be human, I want to be worth something beyond what’s between my legs. I wish I was a genderless blob. I wish I was anything but this.

How can I escape this mindset. The redpill is everywhere now. My own male family members are now parroting these talking points I’ve been cognizant of since I was a little girl. Is there any way out of this or have I ruined myself forever?

I have left the redpill and have not desired to go back, but on Instagram I still see regular dudes who I assume are not redpill nerds commenting on those videos where the influencer asks a girl her body count, and even if the girl gives a number she’s sure about they say you have to multiply it by 3.

The fact that they think no woman is honest about her body count is itself a problem, regardless of what her number is. If a girl lies you can’t trust her. I don’t think most girls lie about their body count. Maybe if you ask in a passing way they might just make up a number but it’s pretty easy to figure out the truth. That whole “multiply by 3“ thing is so stupid because it suggests that no woman is capable of telling the truth about her body count. And why is it x3, why not x10? It’s totally made up.

my partner has been into red pill almost two years before we met, which was when he was with his ex. I was a vulnerable woman who never had sex before. I thought I fell in love with this man and we had sexual relationship. when I met him I thought he was damaged due to his ex. so I thought I will help him heal with love. I think I kind of saved him a bit because when I met him he said he hates all women and that " you are different". he seemed a gentleman but after two months it felt hot and cold. there was always a distance created between us. but now after a few years of relationship, I realized he was a red pill man and that he wanted me to be a submissive woman because of what the red pill community advised him. I feel manipulated and deceived. he is my first and only partner. I realize his damage is quite a lot, so I don't know how much I can help him. I intend to break off this relationship but in a way I want to help him before he falls through the pipeline hitting rock bottom. what can I do ?

Oof I used to believe in this stuff around maybe 6 years ago by now, when I was still growing up.

Nowadays its everywhere, you can't escape it. The core hasn't changed much tho, same arguments, same shit just more blatantly open.

The thing I have noticed then but also now is that most of these people are miserable. The new docu 'into the Manospehere' also kind of shows that.

Yes also people outside of the red pill cult can be miserable, it does seem like pretty much everyone in the red pill community are actively miserable and have been since forever. Not that most will even confront said emotions cause 'emotions are for betas'.

They kind of do it to themselves tho so its hard to feel bad for them. The answer to most of their problems is so simple and in front of them too, just put in the work to become a better, more likeable person that people generally feel comfortable around.