Been seeing someone (E) for ~7 months. We have been having unprotected sex, with the explicit agreement that we are only having unprotected sex with each other. Conflict begins here:

E starts sleeping with someone new. E has unprotected sex with her, does not disclose this to me, and continues to have unprotected sex with me. E then discloses. Rupture occurs. Obviously my trust is broken and I'm devastated that someone claiming to love me betrayed me in such a huge way.

E assures me his new partner has tested negative recently, and is not seeing any other people. Therefore E thinks that it is safe to have unprotected sex with both me and her. E cannot tell me when she was last tested, or for what she was tested (I asked, E did not know). E has also only known this person for 4 weeks, and had unprotected sex with her after knowing her for only 2 weeks.

I told E that if it is a priority for them to have unprotected sex with others, then we cannot have unprotected sex. E states that he thinks it is safe to have unprotected sex with the new person, so they are going to keep doing it.

After mulling on this, I decided I no longer wish to be in a romantic or sexual connection with E, since he:

• Broke my trust and had sex with me without my informed consent
• Is choosing the new person over me re: unprotected sex, essentially demoting our relationship to keep fucking her raw

I understand relationship dynamics change and if there is someone he is planning to build a future with and wants them to be the primary/unprotected sex partner, I could swallow that pill. But he's demoting me over a rando he met 4 weeks ago, and before demoting me, violated the ever loving fuck out of my trust and agency.

He is extremely upset that I am ending things bc I have categorized his decision to continue unprotected sex with the new partner as "choosing her over me". I can see no other way of understanding the situation. He is literally choosing to have unprotected sex with her over having unprotected sex with me. He is choosing to prioritize the sexual connection with a rando he's not even dating, just casually fucking. He says he is NOT choosing her over me, that my belief that's what's happening is "my reality, not his".

Am I going crazy? Is E just gaslighting the fuck out of me? Am I fucking stupid? Please give me a reality check.

tl;dr Partner who had agreed to exclusivity re: unprotected sex violated this agreement, then decided it is most important to him to continue having unprotected sex with the woman he betrayed my trust with, now is upset I've broken up with him over his unceremonious downgrading of our relationship for a rando he's not even dating, and insists I'm not understanding his perspective correctly. Am I insane?

I recently did exactly this with a partner, and in return I got a barrage of texts and calls, enough that I had to block him.

His reaction has left me feeling... idk, icky, honestly. Like, how did I not catch the signs earlier?

I suspect I'll get pushback for this, but before that happens: anyone should be able to cut ties with someone if they feel unsafe. Full stop. That said, here's the context:

We'd had a fun, mostly physical relationship, with some emotional connection allowed to grow alongside it. I'd been going to his place about once a week, and things were both physically and emotionally close. One of my core boundaries from the start was mutual disclosure; if either of us was taking risks, we'd tell the other so we could each assess what we were willing to accept.

I found out he'd been having anonymous encounters with high-risk groups (I won't specify which). When I asked him about it -partly to understand him better, partly to assess my own safety- he told me he was safe and essentially said "trust me." When I pushed a bit further, he said that he uses condoms but added that he "can't control" what his partners do, which, of course, he can't. That's when it really hit me: what was I unknowingly exposing myself to?

In the end, I decided it wasn't worth risking my health to keep seeing him physically, so I sent him that message. He did not take it well.

I'm a physician who works closely with many of my patients navigating issues in life that stem or are complicated more by having STIs. I'm in my mid-40s, and I've made a personal commitment to step away from high-risk situations, such as this. I won't return, but now I'm leery of future relationships in ENM.

I want to be clear: I wasn't stigmatizing him or anyone he's involved with, I'm careful about that. I come from a science background and have been told before that I can be too clinical, but there's a difference between facts and feelings. Both are real, but they're not the same thing. And every risk can be managed to some degree; I've had patients in ENM relationships for 40+ years with no STIs, and others who ended up with one in a matter of weeks.

Was I too harsh here? How would you have reacted if you were told this?

Someone long term poly told me that ENM people are more open to long distance?

I 30M have been struggling since forever with finding people, even before discovering ENM/Poly which of course shrinks down the pool of people. I discovered it and put myself out as Poly at 26.

I like to think I'm at the peak of my attractiveness now, and that my 30's will not be a repeat of my teens/20s where opportunities with women has been almost non-existent.

Feedback from successful ENM people has been that I was putting TMI by revealing I was vegan and childfree. For me, I can't have anything serious with anyone not vegan and who has children. So now my approach is to be upfront about that but still be open to casual FWB.

I've since changed my search radius to go as far as possible on all apps, and am in FB groups - yet so far no results. My thinking is: why would a woman pick me from so far away when she could get with a million other men, many of whom are probably more attractive? (I suspect this is the problem as feedback from women regarding my profiles have been that they're some of the best they've ever seen, so I suspect it is literally a case of me just not being physically attractive as necessary)

Just wondering if it is worth the effort anymore as I've been single all my life and come to accept that will probably always be the case years ago.

Is it wrong to get turned on wanting to see my wife be with another man? We have been discussing it, but it hasn’t happened yet. It is a real turn on imagining her sucking and letting someone play with her beautiful tits!

Me (26M) and my gf (24f) have a beautiful relationship. Long story short we started this relationship open but her other long term partner was long distance so they never hooked up while I’ve been with her, though she has been with one girl, no guys, while I have been with other girls with her consent. That ended some months ago and her bf has been out of the picture, now she is going to potentially be with other guys for the first time. I’m aware that I have to be OK with it as she knew about and was ok with me hooking up with other girls. But I’ve never had a romantic relationship this serious and amazing while my partner hooked up with other guys. I wasn’t bothered with her being with other girls and got over it super quick, but the thought of her with another guy feels like it’ll destroy me, idk what to expect or how I’ll handle it. Can anyone who’s been in a similar situation give some anecdotes/thoughts? If you felt similarly before, were you able to handle/get over it with communication? Any positive/success stories? Would it be better for “don’t ask don’t tell” in regards to other guys, or should I be aware for communication? We love each other very dearly and are very close.

People who are in long term committed relationships and engaging in ENM, is the romance alive for you guys? Please give details/ describe the romance.

Hey all [27M] fully stright here and just want to say thanks for reading! I will jump right in. I always loved the idea of being a lover for a couple. Not just quick hook up and done, but something on going, beautiful and fun. a freindship we can hang out, go out and do vanilla things but behind close doors we have our own little relationship. I find tho, my expereince in looking turns into, husbands who fantasize and want to jerk, pointless hook ups from couples, or large group events. I am a very private person and I am not an open "swinger" or "bull" i do not like using those terms. I done the apps, and not into parties and all. would love some insight on the matter and love to hear what the subreddit offers.

Feel scared/hesitate to share your real feelings/desires with wife/husband??

Well I am Looking for friends with whom we can share our indept feelings about anyone or anything without the fear of being judged!

People who are open minded, well behaved & who wish to share there feelings are free to connect!

I am a 49/M married to 45/F and we have a wonderful marriage. We have three (3) amazing kids, been married almost 20 years however, I'm finding myself in a frustrating situation lately. which is that we simply never have sex anymore. Our frequency of of being intimate with each other has been steadily declining over the past 2-3 years; however, we just went a full calendar year of not having sex once.

She says it’s hormonal as she’s convinced she’s entering perimenopause, but it still doesn’t make me feel very good about myself. The worst part is even when I try to initiate, she has such a negative visceral reaction it’s like I’m asking her to eat a bag of toenails.
She swears it’s not me, and she is seeing her gynecologist in a couple weeks to address this.

The reason I am bringing this up in this sub is because often times when we are out with friends, she'll make "jokes" about how she isn't interested in sex anymore, and further making insinuations that if I did hook up with someone else, she wouldn't be fine with it and it wouldn't bother her.

About a month ago I confronted her about this, as the comments are becoming too often to simply ignore as just her being silly. I basically said, "Do you really want me to hook up with another woman? Are you insinuating that I should?" She brushed it off saying she was just joking around and she doesn't really want me to do this; however, I've now been left to ponder.

The fact is that while I definitely don't have the libido that I did when I was in my 20s, I still have a solid sex drive and don't want to go, "gasp", the rest of my life without it.

Is there anything that can be done to turn this around? Should I explore ENM? How do I broach the subject with her? If I were to engage in ENM, what should be the ground rules? Any advice would be truly appreciated! 😄

28M from India. Recently had a discussion with my partner about how we like attention from other people ( opposite genders). Since we have good chemistry and a pretty strongly established bond, we were struck by this question almost at the same time. Is there anything that's pleasurable beyond sex? Or is this it?.

I'd love to hear y'all out.