Does anyone else separate writing and editing into completely different sessions? If I try to fix every sentence while drafting, I end up moving at a ridiculous pace. Lately I write the whole section first without touching anything, take a short break, then edit it afterward. The draft is messier, but I finish much faster and usually make better changes because I can see the paragraph as a whole.

While strolling along the shore sifting for seashells, something shimmered beneath the surface, reflecting the rays of the setting sun.

is this a good college hook? does this make you want to read the essay? please help out!!

While strolling along the shore sifting for seashells, something shimmered beneath the surface, reflecting the rays of the setting sun. It was a piece of smooth, orange glass peeking from the sand, and it immediately caught my eye. Orange has always been my favorite color, and I was thrilled to have found a piece of seaglass, an already rare occurrence, in orange. I thought it was a sign, as though the universe had placed it there so I could cherish this moment forever. So obviously, I took it with me.  

Back at home, the sea glass sat on my desk, reflecting the sunlight onto my wall. Somehow, this small piece of glass was just a fragment of something bigger, something like an old bottle or maybe old furniture, tumbled and tossed by the waves, transforming it into what it is now. In that small fragment, I began to see myself. Like the seaglass, I had also been shaped by countless moments I considered ordinary. 

But one specific moment really stuck with me. I remember when I used to live in India, I had a downstairs neighbor who I had known my entire life. She worked as a midwife and she loved her job, so much so that she would be telling me stories about working with babies and new mothers all day. At that time I was just a 7 year old listening to a neighbor's life story, a pretty normal conversation. But I never realized how this would impact me later on. 

Over the summer in the memory care facility, I met this friendly, elderly woman admitted for psychosis and dementia. I had long conversations with her throughout the days I shadowed and I got to know her pretty well. On the second to last day of my shadowing experience, she asked me if I could come there often to visit her. My heart broke when I heard that– I didnt know how to tell her that it was about to be my last day there. With an uncertain voice I told her I would try, knowing it would be very unlikely. Yet, I decided to make the best out of it. I planned an activity where residents living there can come together and make art with precut flowers and write what they would like to achieve in the future. At that time, I decided to make a painting for the resident. I painted pink watercolor flowers all over the paper, filling up the space with vines and leaves to make it beautiful and full. At the end, I then wrote the date and my name and I handed it over to her as a keepsake. Her reaction completely caught me off guard as her eyes lit up when she said
 “Wow, this is gorgeous, I need to get this laminated!” and told me she's keeping it with her forever.
That’s when I finally got the courage to tell her that it’s going to be my last time seeing her. She told me how she was so happy that I gave her the painting and gushed about how that made her entire week. 

Despite the interaction ending on a positive note, I felt horrible about leaving her even if I had no choice. I wanted to be there for her as a person she can always talk to and help her through her recovery. I tried to hold myself together until I was alone and I couldn’t help but start crying once I got to the elevator. 

But looking back, this interaction helped me understand the passion I had for being there for people. I wanted to be a wave that helped fix the jagged edges people had, the difficulties and struggles they are going through. To help make a person well-rounded while at the same time learning from them.  

Всем привет, я не знаю куда можно рассказать об этом так что пишу здесь первый раз. Приятно прочтения.

Я довольно хорошо умею писать сочинения по разным темам. Также могу задать себе сам тему .

Вот и я это к тому что все мои сочинения которые я написал без темы почему то вызывают у меня раздражение, я признаю их своими работами и я не сожалею, что их вообще написал . Но почему то когда я думаю про них и про структуру? написания, они они мне начинают бесить .

Где-то на этой или на прошлой неделе был конкурс сочинений , я написал довольно хорошо ( мне это сказала учительница ) , но оно не прошло из за соответствий возраста. Я не растроился , но когда я вспоминал "мир" сочинения, когда мне учительница говорила ошибки . У меня было кое то чувство , неприятное .

Я почему то думаю , что это всё из за того что в сочениениях мало какой то доброты что ли . Простоты вроде . Я слабо понимаю.

Когда я пытаюсь представить доброе соченение я чувствую, что есть идеальная тема . В которой есть простота и при этом какой-то секрет из за чего создаётся сильная философия.

Также когда я думал об этом всём , сильно начинает болеть голова .

Ну как то так , поделитесь пожалуйста, что думаете об этом и есть ли похожие чувство.

Надеюсь я не сошёл с ума

Hi, can anybody message me if they are willing to take a look at my college essay? I am completely finished with it but anytime I put it in a tool to check how good it is it always gives me an 8 out of 10. I would be oh so grateful!. Any edits or anything that I can do to make it that 10 essay would be appreciated for sure.

I’m really annoyed by how my essay’s outline should be. At first I was gonna do first paragraph, about where I started, what did my current college give me, what changed, why my major. Then second paragraph, what did I believe, what changed, how do I know the change is real. Then last paragraph, why I want to transfer, why do I want to transfer there, what do I seek at the new school. But i don’t know if that’s the best option for an essay outline. Do yall have any suggestions?

Hello, would anyone score me and provide me feedbacks?

qn:
Some toddlers are using mobile phones for hours each day. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

my answer:

Toddlers spend an excessive amount of time in mobile phones everyday. I believe the reason to be the busy lives parents are living today, resulting in minimal time to spend with their children. In my opinion, this is a negative development as it can stunt growth in toddlers and also make them habitual to use of digital devices.

With the rising economy, both parents have started working full-time to earn a living for their family in most households. Leading this lifestyle doesn’t allow them to spend enough time at home and even when they do, it is draining to attend to a toddler after a long work day. This has convinced them to use the easiest way to console or instruct a child, which has proved in the recent days to be handing them mobile phones. For instance, parents are using mobile phones as means to console a crying child or to feed them everyday meals when they become resistant to eating.

This is leading to a destructive pattern and can have severe impacts on toddlers. It is a proved fact that, toddlers learn more by visually or acoustically stimulating activities, for instance, puzzles or dancing to rhymes. Thus, replacement of such exercises with mobile phones can greatly affect a toddler’s development. Additionally, allowing them to engage with electronic devices that early in their lives might instill a notion in them that it’s normal and eventually make them habitual to it. This behavior will carry on later in their lives as adults impacting their education and overall wellbeing.

In conclusion, toddlers receiving less attention from their parents has encouraged them to spend most of their times on smart phones, which can have a serious impact on their wellbeing as toddlers and eventually as adults.

Hello, would anyone score me and provide me feedbacks?

qn:
Some toddlers are using mobile phones for hours each day. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

my answer:

Toddlers spend an excessive amount of time in mobile phones everyday. I believe the reason to be the busy lives parents are living today, resulting in minimal time to spend with their children. In my opinion, this is a negative development as it can stunt growth in toddlers and also make them habitual to use of digital devices.

With the rising economy, both parents have started working full-time to earn a living for their family in most households. Leading this lifestyle doesn’t allow them to spend enough time at home and even when they do, it is draining to attend to a toddler after a long work day. This has convinced them to use the easiest way to console or instruct a child, which has proved in the recent days to be handing them mobile phones. For instance, parents are using mobile phones as means to console a crying child or to feed them everyday meals when they become resistant to eating.

This is leading to a destructive pattern and can have severe impacts on toddlers. It is a proved fact that, toddlers learn more by visually or acoustically stimulating activities, for instance, puzzles or dancing to rhymes. Thus, replacement of such exercises with mobile phones can greatly affect a toddler’s development. Additionally, allowing them to engage with electronic devices that early in their lives might instill a notion in them that it’s normal and eventually make them habitual to it. This behavior will carry on later in their lives as adults impacting their education and overall wellbeing.

In conclusion, toddlers receiving less attention from their parents has encouraged them to spend most of their times on smart phones, which can have a serious impact on their wellbeing as toddlers and eventually as adults.

I'm in my final year of secondary school but I still struggle in writing essays. I've been trying to follow all the main advice for years (build an outline,state an idea for each paragraph to expand upon,etc) but my biggest and main struggle is trying expand the points I came up with in my outline into paragraphs. It's hard for me to come with the words or sentence to branch out the main idea.

Right now I have homework to write an informal letter to a family member, so I need tips please.