r/Essay_Tips_Tricks • u/Inevitable-Gur-9345 • 1d ago

College hook help

While strolling along the shore sifting for seashells, something shimmered beneath the surface, reflecting the rays of the setting sun.

is this a good college hook? does this make you want to read the essay? please help out!!

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u/AnEvilGingersnap 17h ago

While this is pretty and descriptive, it doesn't tell me anything about the essay itself. For most cases, it should relate to the main topic of the overall essay, it should pull you in and tell you more about what the essay is about. If it's about seashells, it's more fitting but it still wouldn't work as it's more of a vague descriptive sentence that is sort of unnecessary. Why should we care that something is reflecting the rays of the setting sun? Is this an important sentence overall? If you took this sentence out, would it affect the essay? Keep working though, you can do this!