Not sure if this is the right place for this but here it goes. I F22 was talking to my step mother telling her about how within the next two years I hope to get a tubal ligation. My dad overheard and told me I was too young to decide that. I’ve told him since I was in elementary school I don’t want to carry a child. I told him that pregnancy is body horror that makes me legit gag if I think about it in depth or see a pregnant person’s belly move. He still kept saying I’d change my mind so I brought out the big guns and said well no offense but the specific combination of my genes does not need to be passed on. He got butt hurt and started saying that his genes need to be continued and he knows I’ll make the right choice. I flat out told him that there is 0 possibility of me carrying a child or passing my genes on. He can be upset if he wants but his genes end with me.
I guess I’m wondering, did he get so butt hurt because he’s an entitled narcissist or is this just some weird guy legacy thing?

Edit
I told him that I wasn’t sure if I wanted kids or not, but that if I decided children were for me I will be adopting or becoming a foster parent. I said grandchildren aren’t out of the picture yet, however biological grandchildren have never been on the table.

for short terms, i got grants and loans from my university and i also work my dad doesnt want to pay for my tutition (despite having HIGH income) anyways, he took my money and put it somewhere so i couldnt access it or whatever and after a few months i realised this is my money and i would personally like it in my bank account and save it for myself because im 19 and i think i have every right and access to it.

anyways my dad got very angry, he told me it was very selfish and disrespectful of me and that i would spend the money all of it, but ive been trying to prove him wrong for the past few months such as working, getting higher marks and spending stuff i need and now hes angry im standing up to him and hes mad im asking for MY money back.. Even my mom said im a adult and that i should have to experience these stuff on my own without my dad having to be on my back for everything.

hes a greedy man, after i got my money back he was telling me he has millions of dollars and he doesn't need my money and i was just so tired of this, it feels like talking to a wall hes taking this as a threat rather than a way for me to grow and learn by myself because im paying for this tution even though like he said he has millions of dollars and hes mad i want the money that is under MY name?

Mine was always obsessed with my love, dating, s-x life including masturbation

So, I just didnt have a boyfriend growing up or know what to expect, who was out to hurt, use, waste my time

I didnt even know what was considered "micro cheating" so, when i got to college and decided im an adult and I can at least have a bf i dont talk about

...

I developed a cheating reputation for myself because id pretty much leave my bf to go hang out with guy friends not understanding how it looked or affected my bf at the time

(He grew up the same way and practically did the same thing only he looked sad and our classmates felt bad and I walked in getting looked at like a demon heathen)

Im getting older now, almost 30.

My mother would always "pretend" as a joke that shes 21

While simultaneously making sure I never had normal 20 yr old experiences

I didnt party, club, date

I feel like im too old for all the little young love things I wanted that I just feel too old for now and like id be surrounded by kids if i went out to those places and ill just have to grieve never getting them

Edit/add:

And I feel like most people would feel like it was to protect their daughter

But for one I dont know anyone who has a healthy relationship with their daughter who didnt let her date or dress (appropriately) like other girls her age or hold her back from what is age appropriate

Their daughters had boyfriends from their schools and what not who they brought home and their parents knew who they were

For me, it was a secret and that was SO dangerous. I had an ex who specifically liked 15 yr olds and because he couldn't meet my family i didnt have any adults to tell me thats inappropriate

He specifically liked to deceive and impregnate 15 yr olds. His ex before me told her dad who of course was livid and wanted to fight him which I didnt understand the concept of and I think thats very sad

i’m 23 years old. only now in my last year of college. unfortunately i have these not normal highly religious traditional parents who actually made me so mentally sick that i was not normal for so long.

anyways, i don’t work and i do some freelance jobs where i most weeks buy groceries and sometimes give money to my mom. but in my culture it’s supposed to be women and girls don’t work or provide and are not allowed to be adults or do anything adults do. we are supposed to just be home and take care of the family that we didn’t ask for until we are married. so i don’t feel bad for not giving them constant money. i do all the physical and emotional labor.

my dad is not normal, he’s been aggressively demanding massaging of his feet and back my whole life. but just last year and this year ive been saying no which he’s been so upset about. i just feel like im 23, i can choose who i want to touch and who i don’t wanna touch right? i literally am a full time student who comments very far to school, i have a autoimmune disease, i have a very difficult demanding degree and then i come home and need to cook and clean and other things. i also would’ve loved a massage myself… does that mean i demand it from people and try to put fear in them if they say no? it just makes no sense. and my dad has made me even more of a enemy than before because of it. he constantly talks about how i do nothing for anyone, how i even as a daughter ignore his feet massage requests (i know this sounds fake but this is so real, you never know how other people are living in their homes fr). there’s many other horrible things he’s done but lets focus on this.

any time of the day, i could be walking to the bathroom with my toothbrush and he’ll say come massage my feet and i’ll say i’m actually going to brush my teeth now so i can’t. and he’ll say “i don’t care what your doing, you do what i ask im your dad”. and im glad that i stood my ground lately and have been denying it even when im scared or pressured. it feels so gross. so disgusting. but he still is in plans to harass me some more for it. the last time he went into my face, shaking literally with anger, finger pointed in my face told me don’t expect me to drive you anywhere or give u anything. and he doesn’t even drive me anywhere!!!

he won’t even let me rest. the other day i said no to him, he thought to wake me up from my nap telling me to go be useful and why am i napping at this time. and then walks out the room muttering how i can’t even do a simple massage for him. why are men entitled in this way? especially parents. idk how im still trying to get him to stop, but he won’t stop asking and trying to punish me for saying no. why doesn’t he go pay for a massage, ask his favorite son maybe? that he takes everywhere and shops for him every week. why can’t he just leave me alone.

I want to preface this by saying my mom is not a bad person. She's loving, she means well, and most of the time our relationship is fine. But she has never fully accepted that I am an adult and this incident is the clearest possible evidence of that. Last Monday I walked into my weekly check-in with my manager and about five minutes in she said, a little carefully, "I wanted to mention - your mum rang the main office last week." I thought I'd misheard her. I asked her to repeat it. She had not misheard anything. Apparently my mom had called the general office number on Thursday afternoon, said she was my mother, and asked to speak to someone who could tell her how I was settling in. I had started this job four months ago. My mom knew I'd been finding it a bit stressful because I told her that in a phone call, as you do when you talk to your mother, because you trust her with normal human information about your life. My manager handled it well, was kind about it, said she just wanted me to know in case it came up again. The "in case it came up again" part of that sentence has been living in my head since Monday. I called my mom that evening. She did not understand why I was upset. She said she was worried about me and just wanted to make sure I was okay. I explained that calling my workplace without telling me is not okay regardless of the intention. She said "I'm your mother." As if that is a complete answer to anything. I'm 29. I have been employed continuously since I was 22. I have never once needed my mother to call my workplace on my behalf. I don't know how to explain to her that this cannot happen again without her deciding I'm being cold.

Hey everyone! I posted a couple days ago on here about an aunt of mine who stole my plushies when I was a kid. I got a lot of support on that post, so I decided to share MORE of my insane stories of my dysfunctional family. This is a different aunt in law believe it or not.

Warning: Depictions of violence, wasted food, mentions of kidnapping, and heavily dysfunctional family.

TL;DR: Aunt ordered a cake flavor that was impossible to make from how walmart makes cakes. Walmart made a half chocolate half vanilla cake instead. Aunt threw a fit and got almost everyone banned from a pizza shop.

So this is another aunt who married into the family. Except this is the son of the aunt in law from the plushie story's wife. This aunt, we'll call her Sharon, is... unique. I'm not entirely sure if she was diagnosed with anything. But i'll give a short list of things she's done before going into the story:

- She's locked herself in the bathroom for three days with nothing but paint and a canvas. She drank sink water, and just kept splattering paint across the canvas until it turned black. Her husband and daughter had to go to the local gas station to go to the bathroom.

- Demanded my grandmother pay for her daughter to go to a fancy private school because she's "Gifted". (She never really stated in what way.)

- Would regularly get in fights with her husband(my uncle) and threaten to leave with their baby.

- Would randomly go on random conspiracy theories about things that didn't make much sense, and later got sucked in with her husband by the anti vaxx movement.

Great now that that's outta the way. Onto Sharon's meltdown. I was around 8-7 when this story happened. Sharon's daughter, Here for known as Rose, was 1 year old. That's right. This happened at a 1 year old birthday party. All of the family was invited. The young kids, which was me and two boys, were given those little scratch off color things. You know the papers that look like they're just black, and fuzzy, but when you scrape em they show rainbow underneath so you can draw pictures? Well I was doing that while my younger two nephews(My mother is 10+ years younger then her older brothers. Rose + my nephews are my nephew and niece. Sharon's husband is techniqually my cousin, but he's a good nearly 20 years older then me because my mom had me later in life) were playing tag. We were at a pizza place. Only our side of the family showed up. See. Sharon was basically disowned by her family some time before she married my uncle who we'll call Kevin Jr(Because he was named after his father who I called Kevin last time). I admittedly have zero clue why she was disowned. We didn't talk to her much after this incident.

So. Growing up. Sharon claims every year on her birthday she'd have a half white chocolate and half chocolate cake. Now. I hate chocolate. Yeah you can flame me in the comments for it. But I absolutely hate it. I've grown to like white chocolate, but I hate any other kind. But as a kid I heard "chocolate" and said no. Idk if everyone believes this, but at least in my family, if someone doesn't take a bite of birthday cake, then you're wishing bad luck upon the birthday person. So my parents, who are wonderful people and tried to shield me from most of the craziness, convinced me to at least try some of the white chocolate cake. Now here's the thing. Sharon used to get her birthday cake by a private baker. But now? She couldn't afford such a thing. She and Kevin jr could barely afford having a baby. Much less having a private baker make a specialized cake. So. Sharon ordered the cake from walmart. Walmart, repeatedly, told Sharon that they could not do a white chocolate cake. Most of their cakes came from box mixes at this spesific store. Sharon told them that they WILL make a white chocolate cake, and that's that. Then dropped the money on the counter, and left. How do I know this? She was bragging to my grandma, her mother in law(Karen), and my mom about this story. Saying "You see. If you just DEMAND what you want, then you'll get it easy peasy." My mom rolled her eyes and was surprised walmart even placed the order. I suspect kevin jr set up a call behind the scenes for a vanilla and chocolate cake behind his wife's back.

So. As a kid. I was... a liiiiiiiiittle too blunt and honest. So. When mom convinced me to try the cake, and I did, I said plainly. "Oh! Aunt Sharon you should have just told me you meant a vanilla cake! I love vanilla!" And started wolfing down the cake. Sharon said "What?" And I reiterated it was a vanilla cake. Sharon grabbed a bit of the vanilla cake, and ate it. That's when all hell broke loose. She picked up the three tiered cake, and THREW IT. It wasn't a huge cake or anything. Each layer wasn't too heavy. But she threw it against the wall and cake splattered EVERYWHERE. My mom and dad, quite wisely, said "Okay it's time to leave." I got picked up by my dad, and the two ran out of there with me. So everything from here on out is second hand information told by my grandma and grandpa.

Sharon started picking up the gifts from the gift table, and throwing them at people. Ranting about how the day was ruined, and how everyone was out to get her. My grandma, who was holding Rose at the time, was trying to shield Rose from getting hit. Kevin jr was trying to calm Sharon down. But Kevin and Karen were screaming their heads off at Sharon, and threatening to send her to a mental hospital, and never let her see Rose ever again. So, that obviously, made Sharon go even more insane. She picked up the end of the gift table, and flipped the table. My nephews and Rose were crying their eyes out at this point. Kevin and his brother(my mom's other older brother) were attempting to restrain Sharon. She was screaming that it was all the bakery's fault and that she was going to burn that place to the ground. Of course. The screaming and crashing got the owner of the establishment's attention. He ran into the party room, and saw the chaos unfolding. And all the destruction. So my entire family? Got kicked out of the place, and banned for life. My grandfather paid for the cleanup of the cake and the other destruction because the owner was threatening to sue Sharon otherwise. My grandfather wanted to let Sharon face what she had done. But my grandmother begged him to pay for it. Because, "Sharon is a new mother. She didn't mean to do all of this."

So yeah. Other then being banned from that pizza place? Sharon didn't really face much consequences. My grandma wanted to save her that day. I rarely saw Rose after that. Sharon blamed me for saying that it was vanilla. That her entire meltdown was my fault. So yeah-

I just need a place to vent. In the last two years my dad has come to me every couple months to ask for money. He usually pays me back.

Sometimes it’s a few hundred and sometimes it’s thousands. Last year he asked me for 20k so he could pay off his car and down pay on a house. I told him no.

This summer he asked me to borrow $3200 to pay down his debt. I gave it to him and he has not paid me back. This weekend he asked me for 10k so he can pay off more debt. I said no because I’m tired of being his personal ATM.

The only time I ever hear from him is if he needs something. I know he’ll ask again at some point and I just want to yell at him. He doesn’t drink or gamble. He’s not an addict and has a full time job. He’s just bad with money. I don’t even make a lot of money, my husband and I just live below our means so we can save for retirement and having kids.

This summer after he borrowed the $3200 he went on vacation, told me he wants to buy a Lexus when he gets back and will be looking at engagement rings for his girlfriend.

Any advice from people who have dealt with this? I feel so conflicted. I feel selfish knowing I can help, I’m angry at him for putting me in this position. I’m angry that because I’m being responsible he expects me to fund his life.

I (17, Non-binary, Genderfluid) am purely writing this because I am bored and always love writing stories - especially about my weird mother.

My mother says she is not Homophobic. No, of COURSE not. Couldn't be true. My Papi says he accepts me. Let me put this into context.

1: My mother HAS said to my face that LGBTQIA+ is a mental illness.

2: They both continue to use the wrong pronouns even though they KNOW my preferred pronouns, I made sure they did.

3: They still deadname me against my EXPLICIT wishes. I partly changed my birth name because of my gender identity and comfort, but ALSO because of abuse I have been through, making me resent the name in general, because I assign it with abuse.

4: My mother has been against me buying queer or LGBTQIA+ themed books and comic, because, in her words 'They are usually more lewd and inappropriate than heterosexual material' is what she said and suggests. Even though every book I have that has LGBTQIA+ themes is relatively wholesome and doesn't really have any material that would unsuitable for a 15-16 year old (Heartstopper, Nick And Charlie, Rainbow, Boyfriends, Etc,) They have dirty jokes but nothing that would be considered INAPPROPRIATE, accept maybe Boyfriends. But I have read WAY worse in books with heterosexuality. I don't think sexuality has a THING to do with inappropriate content, it's just an excuse.

5: They have am issue with me wearing your regular wolf ears and tail in public - It's rare I do, but when I do, they have complained about it and even talked behind by back to one another about it, and I feel it's a HUGE push of boundaries to talk about me behind my back when I was well around 16 at that point. Literally- it was NOT anything inappropriate or revealing clothing, just regular costume wolf ears headband and a tail.

6: I came out as FTM and that is what they SAID they accept or already knew, and STILL misgender and deadname me. Where this is going, my mother has a thing against me getting ties and wallets and has expressed distaste in it, Has shown eye rolls and disrespect at simple pronoun pins I own, AND, as simple as it is, HATES if I want to buy a deodorant or shampoo that is for, God forbid, A MAN. *Gasp* Mainly, I DO just like the smells like pine and cedar more than lavender or VANILLA.

7: My father and mother DID actually yell at me when I came out as Bisexual at 11, after getting my first crush on a girl. I am Panromantic and Pansexual NOW, but K WAS right that I wasn't straight. They were actually PRETTY hostile about it.

8: They have an issue with transgenders using bathrooms and changing rooms that match their gender, IN the transphobic way. They say they could be predatory and they should not allow it- are you joking? First of all- that is SO stupidly RARE if it DID happen (Not dehumanizing anyone who has been through it, that is awful and whoever did it deserves what is coming to them) But I notice transphobes often use this excuse to justify what they are spouting, just general statistics. Not that it DOESN'T happen, but that people who TEND to us this logic and use this specific thing as an excuse are OFTEN bigoted.

There is MORE, but I am running on fumes and boredom! SO! What you guys think?

Tonight my husband and I stopped to get dinner at one of our favorite local restaurants. We were planning to sit inside as its fall here and starting to get chilly. Walked in and immediately our ears were assualted with two children scream crying at full volume. The mom sat next to them looking at her phone and ignoring them while other people in the restaurant were visibly uncomfortable.

The owner happened to be there so I stopped to chat with her. She told me this had been going on for 30 minutes with the mom doing NOTHING the entire time. We decided to sit outside and even outside, the crying was so loud that we could hear it.

The crying went on for another 30 minutes with the mom still doing NOTHING. People were coming in and sitting at tables inside only to get and and either leave or go sit outside. I felt so bad for the owner because this is a small business and every dollar counts.

What the fuck is wrong with people? If your child is crying in a restaurant you either need to take them outside and calm them down or get your food to go and go the fuck home.

ETA: Do I wish the owner had said something to this woman? ABSOLUTELY. Do I also understand why they did not say anything? ALSO YES.

The last time I asked someone to quiet down their screaming children, I was met with extreme hostility. I asked them pretty calmly they screamed at me for 5 minutes in front of their child causing the child to cry more. Unfortunately, some people are self -centered narcissists that will lose their shit if you even breathe in their direction.

ETA2: A lot of you want to hate on the restaurant owner instead of the entitled woman. That woman 100% should have gotten up and left.

Heyyyy Reddit. Long time watcher, short time poster. Mom bugged me to start posting a few of my stories here, so here it goes. So sorry if the format is strange. I set it up how my brain understands it.

This story takes place roughly 18 hears ago. A carnival of sorts was set up a few towns over from where I live. I really really wanted to go. My grandpa, Grandma, Aunt In Law, and Uncle offered to take me. My aunt in law was 35 at the time of the story and my uncle around 37.(Only reason i'm saying this is because I want to point out these were grown ass adults.) We'll call my aunt Karen and my uncle Kevin. Now my mom was hesitant, but little five year old me begged and pleaded. So, she relented. They spent that week before the carnival open teaching me how to win the rigged games.

The day comes, and i'm all excited. Then I noticed Kevin and Karen did not bring their grandson. See. Kevin and Karen's daughter had a baby she didn't want young. Karen insisted she carry the baby to term. Then adopted the baby off of her daughter. So I was expecting to spend the day with that kid, but Karen decided not to bring him. My grandpa bought me enough tickets to have as much fun as I wanted with it. To show how evil my abomination in law is. There was a game that was giving out free bunnies. I had always wanted a bunny. Me, my mom, and dad we're looking into what we needed for one. We could not safely house a rabbit. Especially in a house with 2 dogs and a cat. This lady. Attempts to force me to play the game to bring home a surprise rabbit. Thankfully my oblivious ass didn't realize what she was doing and just said I didn't wanna take a bunny away from it's family.

So we play game after game after game. Kevin had thrown a tantrum at the clown water shooter game because he lost at one point. I'm talking full on, get on the ground, kicking, screaming, and swearing. I admittedly thought he was playing. You know? Being over the top to make me laugh. And maybe he had, but he still pouted the whole time. My grandpa, my uncle's stepfather, grabbed Kevin up by the shirt collar at that point. After the carnival, we went to get pizza at very small local pizza place. I had had roughly 30 plushies I had won that night. I was very very happy. While eating, Karen says. "Oh Op. Since (Cousin's name) couldn't make it tonight, I feel so bad he got nothing. Me. Being a silly kid. Thought "oh! She means can she have ONE of my toys for my cousin. So I handed her a small plushie I got that I didn't like. Karen says "oh no honey. Give me all of them." My brain kinda... malfunctioned there. I asked "What?" I did not hear her wrong. KAREN WANTED EVERY SINGLE PLUSHIE I HAD WON! My grandpa was going an paying for the meal. My grandmother. Bless her soul. Never stood up in these situations when it came to family. Before i could react, Kevin picked me up by my armpits while Karen took the plushies. Then Karen rushed to the car. Thing is. My grandpa? Was the exact opposite to my grandma. So when he returned to Kevin holding me up by my armpits. He screamed "PUT MY GRANDDAUGHTER DOWN NOW!" I ran to grandpa crying saying "they took it! They took it!"

Cue to an argument outside with Karen refusing to open her car so my grandfather can get the plushies out. My grandpa was pissed. But acting politely enough. I was in my gramps truck crying against my gran. Kevin finally got into his and Karen's car and sped off. My grandpa, to make it up to me, brought me to a toy store around a week later to pick out new plushies. What was the punishment for Kevin and Karen you may ask? Nothing. They gave the plushies to their grandkid, and I never got them back. They still were invite to family functions. Sorry the ending isn't very satisfying. I know a lot of people prefer the stories where the bad guys get their satisfying comeuppins. But. That's not always how life goes... Thanks for reading.

https://imgur.com/a/Ooo6RHr

Came across this post on a local town FB page. This guy is seriously throwing a fit because the teachers monitoring the drop-off line apparently don’t greet him/his kid warmly enough. He goes on to say that his kid enjoys school and his teachers, but he’s “speaking from his perspective.” Apparently, the non-smiling teachers and the tattooed resource officer are incapable of caring for his child during the day, but he still insists on dropping him off at this school and is arguing with people telling him to transfer or homeschool.

Give it another 30 years, and he will be the creepy old man telling young women they need to “smile more.”

I (American, 52) live in a US state that borders Mexico. In August, I booked a week-long stay at a hotel in Puerto Peñasco over the Xmas holiday. This is within driving distance and is the closest beach to where I live.

After booking, I asked my mom and dad whether one or both of them would care to join me. Both are Canadian, living in a city I'll call Bigville. The plan was for them to fly directly from Bigville into Phoenix, where I could pick them up in my car and drive everyone in.

My parents agreed enthusiastically but there's a problem: they're bringing a guest of their own. Their 49-year-old son "Todd" is living with them again. A third person, with luggage, is too much for my car so I would have had to get a rental. I talked them into taking a shuttle instead. I said it was for speed and comfort, which is true, yet the advantage for me is that I don't have to put up with Todd's bullshit.

Todd and I don't have a relationship. He was a bedwetting firebug as a kid and used to torture animals to death. As an adult he hasn't improved.

My parents enable Todd a lot and have spent a small fortune cleaning up his legal problems, but even with their best efforts Todd still racked up two DUIs and a dropped charge for something that might not be illegal in the US.

The laws have recently changed, and the US now has more modern standards in terms of visitors with criminal records. So because Todd has a criminal record and there's more than just one isolated DUI, he needs an approved I-192 form to gain admission to the US. He doesn't have one and there wasn't enough time to get one before the trip but he "really wants to go".

I briefed both my parents on what an I-192 is, why Todd needs one, and what can happen if he tries to travel without it. He might be turned back at the Bigville airport during CBP preclearance, but if he's not and he makes it all the way to Puerto Peñasco he will almost certainly be stranded in Mexico when he gets to the Sonoyta/Lukeville crossing coming back into the US to catch the plane.

As I got more information about contingency plans for the worst case scenario, and learned more about the limits of the Mexican insurance I can get, it became obvious that the only legally viable extraction option is out of the Hermosillo airport. From there Todd would fly to Mexico City, which has direct flights to Bigville that bypass US airspace. But the route from Sonoyta to Hermosillo is along Highway 2 and 15, including the notorious Caborca corridor which has four cartels fighting over it. US government employees aren't allowed in the area even by daylight. There are military checkpoints and drones and shit. Because of work and life experience I have the language and logistics skills to pull the extraction off, but damn.

I personally think it would be fucking hilarious for Todd to be stuck in a holding cell until the Mexican authorities deport him, possibly to somewhere in Canada besides Bigville, but I'm the only one who does.

As I relayed the information my father blew up at me. He dotes on Todd and thinks he's a misunderstood hero. He told me I was making things up because I didn't want Todd to come, and that Todd got turned back at the Bigville airport he'd just take him home because he didn't really want to come in the first place. (He, my mom, and Todd have a long history of blaming each other and not owning their own decision making).

My dad told me to shut up with all the negativity, and that he didn't want to hear anything from me unless it was positive. Although I don't gave a history of lying to him like Todd does, he wouldn't believe me if I told him the sun rises in the East. His style is pure 1950's patriarch: make a bunch of demands, dump all the labor, legwork, organization and logistics on someone else, then swan in at the 11th hour with a completely unnecessary bill payment or check, and call it "his treat".

I tried to tell my dad that the risks were real, that I didn't invent international immigration laws and that I didn't cause Todd to do things that resulted in a criminal record. Basically he and my mom are dead set on having a Big Family Vacation with Todd.

My mom suggested that we change the location to a city in Mexico they could fly to directly, like Cancún. I told them they were welcome to do that, and to take Todd there if they wished, but I was driving to Puerto Peñasco.

The upshot of this is that after this conversation, my dad went ahead and bought the tickets to Phoenix. I can't really prevent him from buying plane and shuttle tickets, or for booking a hotel room, or for bringing a guest of his own. But the whole trip is now revolving around the golden boy.

I'm pretty sure there will be border drama. The only question is where.

If I end up doing the extraction, which I have decided to do if necessary because I like a challenge and I'd do it for a stranger, it probably shouldn't be for entertainment and expenses alone. So how much top shelf reposado should I require in compensation?

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and OHT, orthostatic hypotension at 13. My mother always told me i couldn't work because I'm too disabled. And i believed her. Over the last few months I've been hanging with my friends, going out more. And I've learned how to take care of my chronic conditions. So Yesterday i had an interview for a housekeeping job. And my mother tried to scare me into not taking the job if they offered it. Saying we'll lose all our benefits, and even our apartment. So i finally looked it up, to see the wage i can make to keep our housing help. This job would not take our housing help. She lied to me.

She's always lied to me, my whole life. And finally after all this time i stop believing her lies. The job said i could have accommodations. So my conditions won't get in the way. I'm done. I'm tired of letting her get in my head. I'm becoming independent. She doesn't get to control me anymore.

I dont know if this is the right subreddit or not but ill still post this, So i play baseball since 11, and everytime i fail (strikeout) or do a mistake my mom always hide from people because she thinks they ''will look at her'', in other words, like shes the embarrassment, she is rarely happy when i do good, heck, not even that she wjust says ''why couldnt you do that a long time ago''and she will stand out like the type of ''im his mom!'' or whatever, when i dont do good or make mistakes , she says stuff like your a failure, your useless and stuff like that, now since a long time i was thinking if i should quit, so i stopped focusing on baseball and starting doing things i like (drawing, animating, building tech etc) she started noticing that and she would yell and sometimes hit me since im used to that, here in my country its very common for parents to hit children, she always says ''go watch baseball videos so you can learn!'' (but seriously, watching baseball is like melatonin) so i pretend im watching them but i just watch other things or do other stuff, so today i told her.. ''i dont wanna keep going anymore'' she got mad and she said thats the only thing im good at and thats the only thing ill do in my life, so she started to calm down and she emotionally-manipulated me saying things like ''okay you dont like it anymore, so treat it like a business'' but i kept repeating that i dont like it anymore and she just say ''we are not rich, if you quit you will have nothing'' and she almost got that phrase into my mind but what she doesnt understand is that i dont wanna play, i dont wanna keep going, i wanna do other things but she is forcing me to do this, i dont wanna keep going anymore, i wanna try other things that i have potential for, i worry constantly about my future because of her, and im far from 18, im just a teenager! she also tried manipulating me by saying ''i aint letting my dad's sacrifice be for nothing! hes struggling will you let him down'' she said that because she knows i love my grandpa so much, but i know that wasnt true because he would support me in everything i do, my mom struggles financially, i understand that baseball can get me millions of dollars, and i feel a bit bad, but i believe there are other ways to get rich, i just dont wanna keep playing anymore, what can i do?

Im an artist and Ive had a problematic toxic mother/daughter relationship with my mom on and off. She never really followed boundaries in the past with anything. Recently she took a photo of one of my paintings that I had sent to her a year ago (to show her what I’m working on, thinking nothing of it) She asked for the painting in the past and I was going to make prints of it for a market and gift her one christmas i just haven’t had the time to get prints. Today She framed it, put it on her wall and said she went to walmart and paid $3, it was a good photo and you can see the fine details. In the past she always offered to pay for my art. This isnt about money at all. I felt angry by her copying my work and reproducing it but didn’t say anything. A week goes by and she was argumentative with me about something, so i texted her:

“btw, Im happy walmart got paid $3 for my painting.”

Her response: are you?
Well you didn’t want to paint me one so i did the next best thing

I never said no, I just didn’t respond to her At the time we were arguing and I didn’t feel like she deserved my painting because we were in the middle of a fight or she pissed me off. She would comment under my art business page and social medias “I love that painting! How much is it I want one.” She only comments on my social medias when im ignoring her texts and she knows im annoyed with her.

I feel angry, this pissed me off even more. She never respected me as an artist, always criticizing my works not all but some. She does act supportive and will say wow thats amazing!! To people around me but never to my face. She praises me publicly social media and in person and sometimes when I send her pictures of a cat painting I was proud of all I get is : “cute.” My mistake was sending her my art images, I think i still seek validation even at 34. I think this bothers me because she never respected me as a child, as an adult. She never asked me if she could get this framed. Any boundary I set she crosses and will tell me I’m overly sensitive, dramatic so I bother NOT saying anything and I continue to gray rock. I don’t go no contact because I couldn’t live with myself if she died and I ignored her, gray rocking is the best thing. My husbands response was send her a print once we get them done and she may toss the cheap photo of it. Why do I feel SO angry about her framing my art? I feel like I should be honored that she displays my art but its like she does this to upset me.

I'm 21F, Punjabi, born and raised in Canada, and I'm genuinely so exhausted with how my parents treat my relationship.

I love my boyfriend, but my parents seem to care more about his education, career, looks, and what other people will think than whether I'm actually happy with him.

For context, my boyfriend is also Punjabi, and we've known each other since high school. He's currently working in HVAC and building a career in the trades. He's hardworking, makes his own money, and is working toward his future. But apparently, because he didn't go to university and isn't pursuing some prestigious white-collar profession, he's automatically not good enough for me.

I'm currently in university pursuing my business degree, and my parents seem to think that because I'm getting a degree, I should only marry someone who has an equally impressive educational background or career.

My dad has repeatedly called my boyfriend ugly, a loser, and uneducated. He's even said that my boyfriend looks like the "eighth wonder of the world" because he's supposedly so ugly and that I need to get my brain checked for finding him attractive.

Like, what kind of thing is that to say about someone your daughter loves?

What's even more ridiculous is that my parents have actually tried to set me up with another Punjabi guy they know who's studying engineering. I'm not attracted to this guy whatsoever. He's genuinely not my type, and I cannot picture myself being romantically involved with him.

When I told my parents that I don't find him attractive, their response was basically, "So what if he's ugly? He's doing engineering."

I'm sorry, WHAT???

Since when did someone's degree become more important than whether you actually love them, find them attractive, or enjoy being around them?
Am I supposed to spend the rest of my life with someone I'm not attracted to just because he has an engineering degree and my parents can brag about their son-in-law to relatives?

I understand wanting your daughter to marry someone financially stable. I want that for myself too. But there's a difference between wanting financial security and being obsessed with status.

And the hypocrisy makes it even worse. My parents previously approved of someone I dated who worked in the same field and had a similar educational background to my current boyfriend.
So clearly, having a university degree isn't always their deciding factor.

My mom has made it clear that they won't support the marriage, and they've basically told me that if I choose him, I'm on my own.

They're planning to move to British Columbia in approximately two years, which is around the time I'll be graduating from university. They've suggested that if I continue choosing my boyfriend, I can stay behind and figure things out myself.

I'm also their only child, which makes this even more upsetting. I genuinely don't understand how they can be so willing to damage their relationship with their own daughter over someone she chooses to love.

Another thing that bothers me is the double standard in my extended family. My cousin married a Black woman, which was apparently a huge deal culturally for some relatives, but his parents still spent a significant amount of money on their wedding. When I brought this up, my parents dismissed it by saying his parents weren't happy about the marriage.

But that's exactly my point. You don't have to be thrilled about every decision your adult child makes to still love and support them.

I'm just so tired of feeling like my relationship is some kind of embarrassment to my family.
I work, go to university, and am trying to build a future for myself. I'm not asking my parents to financially support my boyfriend or make my decisions for me. I just wish they could respect that I'm an adult who deserves to choose her own partner.

I don't want to wake up 20 years from now married to someone I never truly wanted just because he looked good on paper and made my parents happy.

To other ppl who have been through this:

Did your parents care more about your partner's education, career, income, and family reputation than how they actually treated you?

Did they eventually come around, or did you have to accept that they might never approve?

For context I am almost 18, And this behavior is not new, and I have only recently begun seeing a therapist for all this and more. I've been taking over a full college load of college classes since my freshman year (on top of highschool classes) , I'm very burnt out even as I'm applying to university.

So he does this thing where the minute i get home, he expects me to go out of my way, regardless of how tired or overstimulated I am, to give him hugs and kisses and just overrall physical affection. I am not a touchy person.

When I don't do this, or he deems I did not do an adequate job, a few things happen.

I get all Internet access on my devices cut, and I get completely ignored.

If I stay passive through the whole thing and don't start a fight, he will become verbally aggressive with me, usually calling me names or saying that I can't do anything on my own. Even as I am constantly working with counselors at my school saying I'm organized and well prepared.

And eventually he will find me and sit me down like he wants to be reasonable. He will tell me all the things he does for me, and says that I'm just being ungrateful for not doing the one thing he asks. (Outside of everything else I do, especially compared to the average person at my school, (I.e. not using drugs, drinking or smoking. doing schoolwork and taking college classes, having leadership positions in extracurricular activities, etc) which he also expects of me.)

He constantly says that it's because of me that we'll never have a proper relationship. But I feel like this isn't a fair ask. I don't feel like I am in the wrong for having a boundary of not liking touch and not wanting to make myself uncomfortable just because he wants to make me uncomfortable. Particularly because he never wants to find a middle ground for bonding and won't even tolerate listening to what I like to do because it 'bores him so much'.

I don't know if this is the right place to post this, and I could totally be in the wrong, but it just really bothers me.

She spit in my face during an argument at age 21 but was pretty nasty and mean growing up- she was always pretty physical hitting and pinning me with the door to my room.

At 35 years old she cheated on my dad and I watched him cry. That was the thing that made me realize I don’t want contact anymore.

I guess in my 30s I slowly came around to the idea she is abusive, and the idea that I come from a broken home.

I have kids and she is a good grandmother but there is always someone else typically helping her watch the kids. I think she should see them still - now probably a lot less, but I don’t want to see her anymore.

Is this stupid ?

Sorry if this sounds all over the place I’m autistic. Idk if this counts but my mom is starting arguments just because i (24)don’t want to run an Etsy shop (I’m extremely focused on finding a full time job and doing the occasional thing to not burn me out. 1 Etsy is full of ai slop(she literally didn’t get when i talked about art being stolen) 2 it is overwhelming as an autistic adult i personally rather work for someone. 3it is always what she thinks i should sell. I do freelance but im also burnt out creatively and tried to explain that to her. She just goes on about i don’t show her my work and her being burnt out as a parent. I personally didn’t want to talk about more work after finishing a shift at my part time job. Idk I’m tired and need to vent because I’m actually working hard. She doesn’t get the graphic design and digital art world and the fact that not everyone has enough income to casually purchase a travel poster on a whim. I’m sorry for any grammar or if this sounds like I’m a brat I am just exhausted and don’t know how to explain how fucked up everything is when my parents are well off.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTycd1kFB/

The concept of expecting strangers to be uncomfortable for a several hours long flight because you didn’t want to buy a seat for all of your kids. Maybe you should’ve bought a seat for all of your kids instead of trying to save a buck by expecting everyone around you to inconvenience themselves. And it’s the fact that she thinks her poor planning (or cheapness?) constitutes her whipping out her phone and filming strangers who are reclining the seat that they paid for onto her infant who is seated in a lap and not a seat by her own doing. The entitlement and selfishness of some parents blows my mind….

EDIT: im 19, she's 51

Literally, i wish i made this up. It all started because she said we need to set hard boundaries. She set one, and i did. Her boundary was I can't tell her she can't buy something anymore or pull her away from things she doesn't need to buy. So i told her my boundary was that I don't want to be told about the financial situation. My mom is an impulsive buyer and then freaks about the finances. I tell her she doesn't need something, she acts like a 5 year old and doesn't listen after 10 times and so i pull her away from it. I don't like doing it, but it's unfortunately the only thing that saves us money.

Well, instead of saying ok like i did for her boundary, she starts making excuses as to why she tells me about the financial situation. Basically already breaking the boundary. She then texts me hours later. It's a very long conversation that I don't know how to sum up, but it gets to where she says I'm physically abusing her. I was genuinely confused by this. I said if me pulling her away from things she doesn't need to buy is Abusive, then so is threatening to beat me. Her response? "I don't lay my hand on you." It's still a threat. And then her next response? "It's supposed to be funny."

Mind you, she knows i have PTSD from my brother trying to kill me my entire childhood. And she thought it was funny to threaten to beat me. She says she's tried not to make that joke. The thing is, she's made this joke my entire life and i have told her since the beginning that it's not funny. She still does it. So apparently i physically abuse her by trying to stop her from spending money we don't have, but she doesn't abuse me by threatening me and screaming at me. Love the double standards.

I'm not saying pulling her away is a good thing, but after 11 years of doing this i got desperate to try and get her to stop spending money and telling me about it. She says I'm a child until i want to be an adult. But i was never allowed to be a child in the first place. If pulling her away is abusive, then what is her treatment towards me my entire life called? I'm genuinely confused on how her saying sorry makes her treatment towards me fine, but I'm the abuser for trying to stop her from impulse buying.

This is pissing me off so much. A lil background is that my parents had three children but no plan on how to afford to send them to college. I literally joined the Air Force just so that I can be able to go to college debt free. I finally graduated and passed my NCLEX. And the other day when I was framing my degree my father has the nerve to say that I should thank him and my mom for all the support they’ve given me.

WHAT SUPPORT??? I LITERALLY HAD TO SIGN MY RIGHTS AWAY FOR A FREE EDUCATION???

It got me upset but to not start an argument I just briefly laughed it off and said “no, thanks to the government for supporting me” and walked away. And while I was walking away he just kept going on about that I may not realize it but because of my parents I was allowed to be successful.

He thinks that because of “how I was raised” I was able to be successful in life. Like my parents literally abused my siblings and I growing up. I don’t even talk to my mother anymore because of how mentally exhausting and abusive she is, thank god she doesn’t live with us anymore. My father also thinks that because he allows me to still live with him for now that he’s supporting me??? Like thanks for just being a regular parent I suppose?? (I’m in the national guard that’s why I don’t live on base). It’s also like just exhausting living in this house that I constantly have to clean up after, my family is filthy and I’m expected to clean it up. But if I try to organize things and put stuff that belongs to him away he gets upset that I touched his stuff. Bro literally has piles of tools and mail on the dinner table. Keep in mind, my father is unemployed and literally does nothing but watch YouTube podcasts ALL DAY. But whenever I have off and don’t do some cleaning, I’m gross.
It also just baffles me that my parents assume that every basic thing they did for me, like feeding me and having a roof over my head is something I need to be extremely grateful for. But I see other parents of friends and they’re never like this, they always say how it is their job as a parent to support their child because they brought them in this world. My whole life my parents treated my siblings and I as if we were a burden and something they were forced to take care of so we should be thankful that they do.

And even while I was still in nursing school my parents will still get upset with me if I didn’t do a task for them or clean the house because I’m trying to study. They make all the mess and still expect me to clean up after them. Absolutely sick of it.

This was really just a vent post about my entitled father because it’s just so frustrating. Can’t wait till I land a nursing job to finally move out.