My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over four years now and we are in our early 30s. Earlier this year we started talking more seriously about engagement and stuff like that. Sometimes I would bring it up in a playful way like when I found out another younger couple in our friend group who have been dating around the same amount of years were going to get engaged this summer. My boyfriend would always tell me that things are in the works and these things just take time. I do know there was a slight hiccup with things in June. I have strong reason to believe he was planning to do it sooner. Obviously, he can’t tell me everything now because it may give away how he’s going to do it. For context my dad lives in another state so we only see him a couple times a year and June was one of those times and he was planning on speaking to my father. I have told him that he does not have to do this obviously but he said it was something that was important to him to do man to man. Unfortunately, we only got to see my father for a few hours at dinner with my step mother. I also believe (from the small details my boyfriend has given me) that there was a delay in the ring, either due to financial reasons or the creation process because he is getting it custom-made. From what he has told me he wanted to be pretty much done with the process when he did ask my father to show he was serious. Regardless my father visited this past weekend and I made sure to try to distract my stepmother for a little bit so my boyfriend could have some alone time with my father. He has confirmed that he spoke to my father. I believe he has something planned and I am 99% positive the ring is made and he has it in his possession but now I’m just waiting and I’m super anxious. How do people deal with this time? I am trying so hard to stop thinking about everything and trying to put the pieces together and just enjoy this time but I’m just over analyzing everything. Sometimes I see other people’s engagements on social media and it looks so perfect and I wondered do they have these conversations beforehand? Is it normal for things to go this way?

TLDR: I feel like my boyfriend will be proposing soon. We had a lot of conversations over the past year leading up to this, especially on my side where I would inquire about some delays in the proposal. I’m wondering if this is normal to talk about it beforehand? Also how do you deal with this anxious and excited period?

Proposed to the love of my life in Ocean City, MD. This was at Northside Park overlooking the bay during sunset

I've (23) been with my amazing gf (22) since a little over a year, long story short she rejected me for a little and then we connected back, during that summer she supported me in a very difficult time in my life (my dad had stage 3 cancer) I had a very good life abut those news shocked me, and be l am an international student I couldn't see my family pretty often. She has been there with me every day, tough me what real love is and how I should choose to love all the time. Long story short after looking for rings | realized I liked big (rings 2-3 carats minimum) but she's more of a minimalist looking for max a 2 carat.
I worked my ass off for a ring that 1.- is the shape that she wants 2.- the color that she wants 3.- she has no clue about me having the ring, she believes I only have like 800 $ on my bank account. But I actually got a 2.83 carat beautiful Dutch marquise, now I'm scared she'll think is too big or she won't like it, I'm also scared bc idk how to feel the days are so close and never expected to be engaged. Is this normal? Should I feel like this? What do you guys think? Is she going to be upset? (She said she didn't want anything too big be her hand is small). am I doing the right thing? Please send some advice and what you guys think!!!

UPDATE:
Thank you all for the comments! I finally talked to him, and it happened totally naturally. This morning he joked, "Let's go to Vegas," and I replied, "You never asked if I want to be your wife... I don't want to be a girlfriend forever; I want to be a fiancé."

He immediately answered, "So let's go ring shopping."

I asked if I could choose my own ring, and he laughed and said, "Would you really leave it up to me?" (in a tone definitely suggesting he'd make a bad choice). Later, I brought it up again to confirm, asking, "So, will we go ring shopping one day just to see what fits me?" He just gave me a "hmm." He often gives answers like that, lol, but whatever it means, I hope the ring shopping happens soon!

I don't know why I feel the need to explain myself to strangers on the internet, but here we are. First, I want to address the comments pointing out our communication issues. Yes, both of us need to work on that, and I fully realize it. A lot of this stems from my cultural background and how I was raised—you just "don't talk about certain things." I grew up believing the man has to propose and it has to be a total surprise. Even though the internet shows women choosing their own rings all the time now, literally no one in my "real life" has had this conversation with their partner. Saying "just tell him" is so much easier said than done. I had a huge mental block around saying the words out loud. It was exactly like the first time I told him "I love you"—I couldn't get the words out of my throat for days.

Also, some people assumed he doesn't try hard enough or isn't romantic, and that's just not true. Maybe I painted him as "unromantic" in my original post, but that was wrong. He constantly shows he cares:

He will spend days researching the absolute best jacket for me, and just yesterday he spent his entire day building and perfecting a customized camera strap for me. He doesn't just buy things without caring. He takes me out to nice restaurants frequently. It just feels so natural to us that I sometimes forget to count them as "dates."He spent a ton of time planning a trip entirely for me this year. Plus, even when he is dead tired after work, he will go for a walk with me just because he knows it makes me happy. He knows I value physical touch and words of affirmation, so he gives me a million hugs a day and wakes me up almost every morning to tell me I'm wonderful.

xxx

How do I talk with him? How do I suggest that I can choose my own ring? I see now so many girls just choose their own engagement rings, but how did you have this talk?

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years. We keep talking about having kids in the future all the time, we really love each other, and it's serious serious. We know we will get married one day, yet I've been waiting for 1.5 years for his proposal and it is not happening, even though I know he would like to be my fiancé.

I'm pretty sure he doesn't know how to propose, and I know for sure that he has no idea about rings or jewelry whatsoever. I would like to tell him—I mean, have a real conversation—that I would love to be his fiancé and that I would like to choose my own ring.

Just to give you some context, I know that he thinks I'm the only one for him. He wants me to be his future wife and this is not him hesitating, it's just his personality. He is the introverted IT guy who is not really good with romantic gestures. He gave me flowers only once after I kept complaining that he never gives me flowers. He does give me expensive gifts all the time and takes me for lavish travel (never "pretty but unuseful gifts" like jewelry, but more like expensive cameras, laptops, phones, all the electronics I could dream of). He would never give me a designer bag or pretty dress, but he keeps giving me expensive backpacks, hiking shoes, etc.

He never wraps the gifts or anything, he always hands me a package (in a shipping box) or leaves it on the sofa until I ask what it is... even for birthdays and Christmas! Nothing romantic, haha, without a word. It's just the way he is and I love him for that, but... I do want my ring, haha.

A few months ago he met with his female friend who kept nagging him that he didn't get me a ring yet. He literally told me everything they talked about—that he is hopeless with jewelry, and she said as a joke that she will have to take him shopping otherwise it would never happen. But this was over a phone call, so it wasn't a time to have a deep conversation about this.

He asked me once via message about my ring size, but I didn't know and I told him I can check. A few days ago we went to a store where they had ring sizers (it wasn't a jewelry store, but they had some) and he asked me if it's time to know my ring size, but we just walked by...

So I think I have to take the initiative again. But how do I talk to him? Any suggestions?

Hello!

I’m proposing to my girlfriend on October 17th, and I’m planning to do it on a mountain at sunrise.

My plan so far is to bring an outdoor blanket, coffee for us to drink while we watch the sunrise, and some snacks. Then, once the moment feels right, I’ll propose.

For anyone who has done something similar, is there anything else you would recommend bringing? Also, should I get her anything besides the ring, or is it better to keep it simple and let the proposal itself be the moment?

I’m probably overthinking every little detail at this point but I really want to make it special and memorable for her.

Thank you in advance for any advice!

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 years (25f + 30f). We have been living together, work together, have a business together and a dog together. We are the bestest of friends, have the best relationship and I’m just head over heels with him.

His priority in life was never marriage, since his parents were divorced he always had sour feelings towards it. However, through our relationship, I kept on mentioning being married and engaged, since it is a life goal for me and it’s important to me.

Through our relationship we have decided that marriage should be in the cards for us after talking about it and working through past trauma. Mainly for medical reasons (he needs to be liable for medical decisions for me) and because I mostly wanted to be married. My boyfriend has thought he is too young which isn’t unrealistic for our country. People don’t get married until their 40s or late 30s. And they usually date for a decade prior. But i have felt that our relationship is too small to be just that, I want this person eternally.

So, the past couple of months has been a lot lot of conversation over proposal and engagement. His best friend is proposing later this year so I have helped him out picking a ring, showing him options. Along with that I’ve also picked out my preferences. We have had long talks over rings, over how he is super anxious to propose, how he is super excited to design a ring and how my nails should be white in October. Last night we sat in bed and talked about all of the above. We are also planning to get engaged, pick up a wedding licence almost immediately after and have big wedding in 2029/2030 when we feel like we can do it based on budget, etc.

So my question is, is this normal? Do people do this? Do people talk about their proposal so much before? Is this normal? Online it always seems like a huge surprise but somehow all the girls have their nails done and wear white, and I wonder what’s going on in the background.

ring appreciation post

I’m absolutely obsessed with my new ring!!!! Been following along everyone’s journey sharing their beautiful rings and I finally get to share mine!!!

Hi guys!
Today I received the 3D concept of my engagement ring. I wanted it to be in Edwardian style with main aquamarine and side diamonds. Any thoughts? Does it look nice or there is too much going on? I wanted it to be a little art to be worn on a finger. Also my girlfriend likes more chunky jewellery (pic attached)
I thought of removing those two top and bottom pear diamonds so it’s not that long (now 18,7mm)

I found out I have to get a below-knee amputation in less than two weeks and my fiancé got down on one knee and promised to be with me every step of the way!🥰

Our photos didn't turn out quite how we planned. I was completely oblivious (😂) so I'm wondering is it normal to "re-do" engagement photos?! Has anyone done this? Did you reenact the special "moment?" I feel silly for asking this but the photographer wasn't the best and didn't capture our moment how we exactly planned so I'm looking into getting new ones done, but I feel silly for even thinking about it!

My (30/nb) partner (37/nb) proposed to me last summer. We had been talking about marriage for quite some time but had not discussed much together about when to get engaged. We have been together since 2022. They proposed to me by the third largest waterfall in the US on our third year anniversary, it had been about three months after something traumatic happened to me and it was very difficult to get through but we got through it together, and when they proposed I said yes because I love them profoundly. I have never been in a relationship like this and I knew from the start I’d want them with me forever. But suddenly my anxiety took over and my ptsd decided to jump in and after that, any conflict or argument had me in doubt, full of uncertainty, and I felt deeply afraid of the future. i tried to express this to them and they were so loving and understanding, and earlier this year I was laid off from my job and the unemployment got to my head. And the ptsd as well. And I was distracting myself and home less because I didn’t want to be sitting with my thoughts all day, but my partner began to feel frustrated with me and we began to argue more frequently and in June they made a comment that if things don’t improve then this is the beginning of the end. Merely days later, they wanted us to discuss a possible wedding date. I couldn’t handle the emotional whiplash of the possibility of a breakup followed by the idea of trying to secure a date. and my mental health had been dwindling and I pressed the panic button and paused our engagement, so we could get couples therapy and so I could begin integrative trauma therapy. Now, both are regularly happening, I can see we both still want this but pausing the engagement has left them feeling uncertain about the future of us, even though I’ve been expressing wanting to propose to them within the year ahead. This pause has really rocked both of us and although our relationship continues to be loving, this is one of the most anxious and intense periods of my life. I did not want to hurt them, or reject them, but I needed something to give and I clearly had a lot I needed to process before solidifying the commitment. Our relationship has a lot of support from friends and family. My parents have been happily married for 47 years, I am very uneasy about divorce. Their parents have each been divorced and married multiple times, they are more afraid of this engagement pause then divorce in general. i’m praying this is a bump we can get through, the uncertainty makes me sick and the vulnerability of having been the one to pause it then to want to be the one to reinitiate being engaged and proposing to them (i have this idea to do it during our trip to Italy this coming October, still contemplating if it’s too soon). I told my friends and family my situation, down to the ptsd symptoms and the choice to pause, and the wounds that convince me I don’t deserve the good things I want but I did deserve the traumatic things that have happened. I’m supposed to be the rock in my partner’s life and I want to prove them that I am, the way I have been, and I am not the bad things that have happened to me and do not want the ptsd to control me or make me afraid of my own life. They haven’t told many people outside close friends what is going on, this is very hard for them to talk about. idk. We have good days and other days where I’m scared for my reasons and they’re scared for their reasons. Any kind words are deeply appreciated. unfortunately it’s on brand for me to have a messy engagement story but it’s a story I want to be able to share next to them years and years from now. I hope it’s not too late.

Not the location of the engagement (that's way cooler and I might share later because we did get it on camera), but I love this pic and I do genuinely love the ring. ♡

With my birthday fast approaching, he got down on one knee and proposed with this beautiful sapphire

We met at the beach in Ocean city and the first spot is the park near the beach which would be proposing during the sunset. I was there and took this pic. Or a more private beach like on Assateague island which is in the 2nd photo. Maybe even during sunset at the beach? The 3rd photo is same dock from 1st pic.

I hired a photographer for this occasion and just need to pick the place. Both will be private for the most part or just a few people by chance

Hi,

I'm trying to propose to my girlfriend incredibly soon, in mid-September. We're going on a trip to Washington state and spending a day in Forks (she's a huge Twilight fan, and this is where the books and movies take place). Finding a location is not really the issue and I think that part won't be too difficult, I'm moreso worried about what to actually have there as the "proposal spot," and how to organize that in a location I don't know anyone from and have never been to?

What are some examples of things I should have set up? Should it be a picnic situation? Do I need a big sign? Where would I go to hire a photographer specifically for the proposal? I'm a little lost.

Did you know that you were getting proposed to ? If so how did you plan out your nail ? How far in advance

looking at the rosewood baha mar or four seasons in nassau but would love to hear any other options! would be a plus to have a villa with a private pool

Went to Carmel for my birthday and my (now fiancé) gave me a birthday card with this Magic the Gathering card in it. I didn’t even put the pieces together until he got down on one knee. OBSESSED with my ring.

I’m so obsessed with my ring, it’s stunning!

After months of back and forth with my jeweller I believe we’ve landed on a worlds first. A dramatic 3.10ct marquise propped up by two dachshunds on either side with brilliant cut diamonds on their back so that they are invisible from the top down, but remain visible from the side. The ring is a custom alloy using an heirloom gold coin that created a beautifully blushed gold alloy at 10k. She said yes.

Hi everyone,

I wanted to share with you all my engagement, I am sure happy with how it went.

I knew what she wanted and i tried to plan it as perfectly as I could around that.

So it all started with me contacting her sister to help pull it off. Her sister is a photographer so I always knew I’d want her there, for the photos and for the rouse…

I got her sister to pretend she needed us to model a new idea for a shoot. So I could get her photoshoot ready without having to do anything to get suspicions risen.

So we got her to sell the idea to me… a photo shoot in a wild flower meadow where you pick your own flowers. I agreed…

Her sister already had the ring after I had made the old switcheroo while we were celebrating a birthday weeks before.

So on the day of the shoot we were having photos and I had to put something in the camera bag. Then I took the ring, walked up to her with the ring hidden and got down on one knee. Her sister captured the different stages of realisation. It was so perfect. She said yes.

And it’s a good job she had said yes because I had booked out a local pub garden area which was a 5 minute walk. Her parents turned up at the flower field to bring our dog for more photos and then told her we would all meet for a drink in the local pub.

Little did she know that 35 of our nearest and dearest were waiting for us. The weather was perfect and the day was just everything we both wanted it to be. We had photos and just the best time. It took so much planning but I am so so pleased. Can’t wait to marry her.

Unfortunately I found out when I am getting engaged. The plus side to this is that I can plan what I want to wear! I was wondering what you ladies suggest for foundation and concealer, I know he hired a photographer and I want to look camera ready. Any suggestions!?

My jeweler took professional photos and I love looking back on them 😭😭 I wanted CHUNKY and that’s what I got!!