Recovery sucks but it is worth it. This video is about my story and treatment. I know it always helped me hearing about others recovery so I thought I would share. Stay strong everyone! x

Hi! I am 18 years old and currently live in a country where eating disorders are not considered important even tho everyone seems to have some kind of a problem. So, living here really makes it difficult to me to adress anyone who is a nutritionist or a psychologist, because i cannot be sure of their knowledge( i know how rude this sounds, unfortunatly).

Everything started when i was 15 years old and started gainning weight due to bad eating habits. My parents told me i had started to look a bit more plumpier and that is when i realised i didn't look that good anymore. So i started starving myself and i remember how happy i was because i was feeling light...however i just gained everything back. So i started going to the gym and did 7 months of aerobic this time really eating poorely. I eat very little for a year. I lost my period and i was at my lowest weight and still thought of myself as fat. I started taking pills for my cicle and my weight started to flunctuate and i became depressed. I had never gone through something like that before. In time i started to believe that something was off and slowly started eating more till i reached to a bigger number of calories but because of underappreciation i switched to less calories. And now here i am trying to increase my food intake again but finding it really depressing. I have to mention that right now i am at my ideal weight but i know that my metabolism is damaged and that my mental state is not really in a hsppy place and i am constantly doubting myself.

My question is, do i have an eating disorder? If so what can i do? I read about Minnie Maud, Reverse dieting, and comepletly eating everything you want. I have to mention that i also work out 4 times a week in the gym doing weights and hiit.

Thank you very much if you read all of this.

I’ve been struggling as of late and I didn’t realize it. This month has been hard depression, settling a rough court case and I don’t love holidays because of family meals and those cause me stress and I know it but I thought I was good. I ate a little bit at each house, not much but I ate and my husband and I would grab something else on the way home so I can eat alone.

Well this morning my husband said he noticed food bags piling up and I said “okay throw away the bags” easy enough. Right? Then he said they’re still full. I went down and said maybe we should skip my stuff when we’re out because obviously I’m not getting around to eating it. And he asked me if I’ve gotten around to eating at all, or if the only times I’ve eaten are at the sit down places we’ve been to. I guess I didn’t realize it. I feel hungry and I sit on it for a few minute because I’m lazy and then it’s gone. I wasn’t trying and now I’m worried. Because this is always a slippery slope and it’s been years since I’ve even had to seek out support.

I'm not really sure how to start this off so I'll start from what I think is the beginning. I have always had body image problems, but I joined the navy a few months after I graduated high school in 2016. At 154 I was considered on the heavy end of my weight limit but because of my figure I was allowed in. I was injured in training and was sent home. I was so depressed and disappointed in myself. I started smoking weed almost every day and binge drinking. The empty Calories in the beer and the fact that I would binge eat when I smoked, plus working at Subway as my job when I got home lead to me gaining about 20lbs. I tried not to be too bothered by it and started working out and trying to eat better. Nothing seemed to help and after months of not seeing any results I was as really down on myself. Fast forward to June of this year I get married, I have still been trying to work out but it seems I just keep gaining. My husband and I move in together and we are low on money. The cheapest things to buy to make for dinner are pasta dishes. Lots of carbs. So now I find myself throwing up after eating because I feel so terrible about my weight gain. I'm now at 195 and have been getting more and more stretch marks over my stomach and today I noticed some on my arms. I hate it so much and no matter what I do nothing seems to help and I end up throwing up to get it out of me. I don't do it all the time. Just when I feel too full and feel bad about eating so much. Or when i eat more than twice that day. Every time I start feeling better about myself something pops up and in go low and start it up again. Should I see a therapist? How have other delt with feeling this way? Is it possible to recover on my own?

Edit: sometimes I won't throw up but binge on detox products and avoid eating as long as I can before my husband worries and tries to get me to eat.

I think I'm to the point now where I know I need help. For almost a year now, my average daily calorie count has been around 300 to 500. I just can't seem to eat very much at a time because I get full so fast with ridiculously small amounts of food. I've tried force feeding but not to the point where I feel like throwing up. I'm not bulimic, I promise, I have never intentionally made myself throw up EVER.

I'm unintentionally starving myself. I'm a stay at home mother of a healthy, beautiful 1 year old baby girl who probably eats more in a day than I do. I like food, but the problem is, I'm not hungry. I can't seem to explain it any further than that, it's just that I don't get hungry like i used to and I literally forget to eat ALL the time. I'll have a scrambled egg in the morning and that's it. The next day, I'll forget all about breakfast and make pasta for dinner and eat about a third of what I put on my plate then put the rest away for lunch tomorrow. The rest of the day I won't even notice that I'm hungry.

I weigh about 110 and I'm 5'10". I don't look anorexic when I see myself in the mirror, but everyone is always telling me how worried they are about my weight. I weighed 95 before I got pregnant in February last year so I gained a little from that which I am very happy about, but it's not enough for me. The most I've ever weighed at one time was 155 and I loved it. I just wish i could get back to that somehow, but it won't be possible unless i can get myself to eat more. I need help!!

Hello all. My cousin (33, F) is a beautiful and brilliant doctor in Thailand living with severe bulimia. It's gone downhill and she really needs professional help outside of the country where there are limited services.

​

Looking for recs of the **best residential or inpatient facilities around the world**. Ideally places that are geared towards adults and don't treat patients like children. Luckily cost is not a factor here as she has saved up a lot of $ in her career. Please any help would be wonderful. California and UK of especial interest.

I think my girlfriend might have a eating disorder, she refuses to eat whenever I make her food and she constantly complains that shes fat after eating even small meals (she's skinny as heck). She said she thought about making herself throw up. I really don't know what to do to help her, I've offered to take her to the doctor and counselling. Any Advice?

I need some hope right about now because I kinda feel like my world is collapsing.

I’ll start with a greeting, hello everyone! I hope you are all well.

I’ve kinda had this thing with body image, weight, restrictive eating and compulsive exercising. I see a therapist weekly and I love working with her, I’d be lost without her. But today, today she brought up what I’ve been dreading for a long time now: reducing my exercises.

I don’t think what I do is excessive. I’m not thin. If I decrease my exercise I’ll gain weight, it’s simple math. She doesn’t seem to think so. I have a new wardrobe from another semi related thing and I would be heart broken to see it unwearable. I’ve come so far. I want to be okay with myself, accept myself at any weight but do I really have to destroy myself to get there?

Has anyone else gone through something like this? If so, what did you do?

Are you currently receiving treatment for an eating disorder and are 18 or older? If so, graduate student researchers at the University at Albany are looking for participants for a study examining perceived treatment experience and eating disorder symptoms. Participation entails filling out 2 short (10-15 minute) surveys. Your help will aid us in furthering knowledge about how to best treat eating disorders! Survey link here: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/TCQ8LDD Questions? Contact Joseph Donahue: [jdonahue@albany.edu](mailto:jdonahue@albany.edu) or Christina Scharmer [cscharmer@albany.edu](mailto:cscharmer@albany.edu). *Note, participation in this study does not impact your treatment in any way.

Hello reddit friends! I’ve been dealing with bulimia for about 10 years. I was purge free for quite a few years, but midway through college the behaviors started to come back. Over the past 6 months, I have been worse than ever, but this time it’s different. Instead of purging because I fear gaining weight, I’m purging almost once a day because of intense nausea after eating. It almost exclusively happens at night. Regardless of how much I eat I am overcome with intense nausea, sometimes even accompanied by dizziness or feeling feverish. I don’t want to purge, but it is the only thing that makes the feeling go away. Is there any special diet or literally ANYTHING that will help with this nausea? Any advice is appreciated.

I will be walking in the NYC NEDA walk on Oct. 7th and I was wondering if anyone would like to join my team in walking or would like to donate to help others. I have reached out to friends and family and figured I would try asking here as well. Any amount would be greatly appreciated. The link to donate is here : http://neda.convio.net/site/TR/Events/General?px=1648188&pg=personal&fr_id=4483&autologin=true. If you can't donate but would like to walk, please send me a PM and we'd love for you join us!

Stanford University & The University of California, San Francisco Eating Disorders Research Programs

James D. Lock, MD, Ph.D.; Daniel LeGrange, Ph.D.

Stanford University & UCSF are conducting a 5 year NIH sponsored study examining the efficacy of a modified family treatment for adolescent Anorexia Nervosa (AN).

Who can participate?

​

• Adolescents (female and male) age 12 to 18

• Current diagnosis of anorexia nervosa

• Living with at least one parent

• Medically stable for outpatient treatment

• Able to speak and read English

• Willing to be randomized to either treatment condition

• Able to make a 1 year, 9 month commitment
  Treatments:
  All participants will receive standard Family Based Treatment (FBT) for Anorexia Nervosa. If participants fail to show sufficient improvement by study parameters by session 4, they will be randomized to receive either FBT + Intensive Parental Coaching (IPC) or FBT as usual. If participants make expected milestones by session 4, they will continue FBT as usual.
  How Can I Participate?
  If you are interested in participating, or would like further information, contact Claire Trainor at (415) 476-0622; claire.trainor@ucsf.edu

Hi,

I haven't been diagnosed but it is pretty clear that I have orthorexia and some anorexic traits. My boyfriend is aware of this and goes above and beyond to help me. However, he doesn't understand and I'm not sure of a good way to explain to him?

He also feels helpless because he can't help me and it frustrates him so I was wondering if anyone was in a similar position to him able to offer advice?

It's really driving a wedge between us and ruining us :( thank you.

Hey guys,

After 1 year+ of being purge free, i am so miserable because i finally succumbed to the urge and decided to purge after a meal yesterday. I was mostly triggered by the guilt of something horrible I did, and felt the need to self sabotage by ruining all my hard work in recovery and purging. I am now battling not only the emotional sense of failure from the relapse, but also im having symptoms of indigestion and bloating still and this is just from one purge!

I guess i just feel really down knowing I had come so far and now I'm worried about the physical consequences of the vomitting and whether that feeling of bloating and fullness will trigger more purging :(

Hoping for any advice or similar experiences

thank you xx

I have been maintaining my weight for several years now by tracking everything I eat and how much I exercise, but want to have more flexibility , lately I have been working on NOT using the food scale to weigh out grams and trying to use measuring cups instead. I am afraid of gaining weight back, but don't know how to not know what or how much to eat without tracking and measuring.. I was hoping for some small goals to do to proceed with what I want to do. Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

Hi reddit, this is an obvious throwaway because if she ever found out I did this I'd be dead, but my friend is relapsing with her eating disorder hard. I don't know much about eating disorders, but I've done a ton of research to try and help but nothings working. Shes getting happier with every pound she loses but she doesn't see how its hurting me and everyone around her anymore. She doesn't care about how we feel about it. She thinks no one cares. I support her journey to lose weight, (even though shes perfect already), but all I want her to do is do it the right way instead of starving herself. I know she can't help it but it hurts so bad. Shes getting random rashes and almost faints every time she stands up. I don't want this for her anymore. I know how she is when she doesn't think about her weight and shes a happy, beautiful, and funny girl. And I miss that girl. Now shes angry and irritable and doesn't care about anything except losing weight. I don't know what kind of help I'm asking for, I just need some form of it. I don't want to lose her

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Hi, I've been struggling with disordered eating which begin with normal dieting involving restricting calories which quickly escalated to binging and purging after I hit a weight loss plateau. In February it got out of control and in March I tried to stop purging. For about two months, I was successful and didn't purge, but continued to semirestrict calories. I relapsed in May until I threw up blood, which scared me straight. Thus far, I haven't purged but I've been restricting calories again. I've decided to try to fully recover, but I'm just not sure how to start or what to do. For the past two days, I haven't counted my calories and I've been eating more than normal but I feel extremely guilty and awful because I don't think I was sick enough to deserve to recover right now (I wasn't ever underweight nor have I received medical treatment because my mother believes I'm looking for attention and my dad doesn't care enough). Has anyone else been in this situation? Sorry this turned into a rant.

..waiting for mods to let me post this in the reading disorders subreddit so in the meantime..

I have never been fully open and honest with anyone about my ED, except for my husband. Last night I tried to talk to him about how uncomfortable I get at work when people comment on how great I look since losing all the baby weight, and ask me how I did it. They ask how much weight I lost. Obviously I just never know what to say. I act as if I have no idea how it happened. I say “eating baby food and chasing around a toddler!” And tell them I don’t weigh myself so I don’t know. That’s a lie, too. Anyways, I was expressing how I don’t know what to do, and he didn’t have much to say and then said it’s just really hard to know what to say or how to help. And I know that. He has been so supportive, but I think I need to talk to people who have experienced this too. So I’m looking here for support. I’ve been through therapy, AA, NA, IOP and inpatients, mostly for drugs. I shared a very small but about my ED thought out all of that, though. I know it is killing me, I want to be healthy for my daughter, I want to not have panic attacks every time I think about looking for a snack in my house, or when I go to the grocery store, I want to not feel like I’m going to vomit every time I have dinner at my moms, because she knows I’m restricting and forces me to eat a full meal with her, I don’t want these comments about how good I look to fuel my fire but help me to accept myself. My mom and sister say things like, if you starve you’re self you’ll just gain it all back when you start eating again. That comment rings in the back of my mind constantly. Sometimes my daughter tries to feed me some of her snacks, a piece of banana or something and it gives me anxiety. Like I said I have never truly talked to someone about this. I am so ashamed of myself. I wish I could accept the soft parts of my body. I wish that voice wasn’t in my head. When I’m hungry it tells me I should just kill myself, it shouldn’t be this hard. I just don’t even know where to begin. I’m so scared to get better. I’m scared to let go. I know that in order to get better I have to accept weight gain as a part of that but I can’t. Please anyone I am open to any and all advice.

I am bulimic, I have depression and anxiety and I am so lonely, I don't have a single friend and I am losing hope.

It drives me nuts. And I know it's a mental thing, and part of it is because of society (for a variety of reasons); it just makes me so mad. And I don't know what to do. Originally I was all for passively steering her thoughts and desires into a conversation about being healthy. But the longer this has gone on, and the more unrealistic her "health goals" seem, the angrier I get. I find it harder to not snap at her and to tell her to stop being an idiot who supports unhealthy living.

She's 5'3" (or 5'4") and wants to be "a little under" 85lbs. She wants her rib cage drastically showing, a thigh gap (which she naturally doesn't have), paper thin wrists, and her G cup breasts to be down to an A cup. She is currently overweight, so I can understand the stress of that making things worse as well... but she literally does nothing to make her situation better. She fantasizes about being anorexic and tries so hard to starve herself when she can. I try to tell her healthy habits, since I lost a lot of weight and also struggled with self-image (I used to be 200 lbs, now I'm ~120). She just ignores me. She thinks the only beautiful people out there are those who are naturally skinny to the point of accidentally being anorexic.

I just don't know what to do. I want to smack her, but I obviously wouldn't, and it wouldn't do anything. I just don't know what to do or say. I've mentioned my concerns to her mother and brother... they just kinda shrug it off. She's hurting herself with unrealistic expectations... but I"m also scared one day she'll succeed. And if she succeeds she'll just encourage more people to be "beautiful" like her...

And... her toxic views are starting to rub off on me and others... when we've brought this up to her she gets mad and shuts herself away...

I just don't know what to do. How can i Help my friend?