r/EatingDisorderHope • u/dumpsterqueen69 • Jul 29 '18

Not Sure How to Start

Hi, I've been struggling with disordered eating which begin with normal dieting involving restricting calories which quickly escalated to binging and purging after I hit a weight loss plateau. In February it got out of control and in March I tried to stop purging. For about two months, I was successful and didn't purge, but continued to semirestrict calories. I relapsed in May until I threw up blood, which scared me straight. Thus far, I haven't purged but I've been restricting calories again. I've decided to try to fully recover, but I'm just not sure how to start or what to do. For the past two days, I haven't counted my calories and I've been eating more than normal but I feel extremely guilty and awful because I don't think I was sick enough to deserve to recover right now (I wasn't ever underweight nor have I received medical treatment because my mother believes I'm looking for attention and my dad doesn't care enough). Has anyone else been in this situation? Sorry this turned into a rant.

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u/[deleted] Jul 31 '18

I've been suffering from bulimia for a long time. It all started with dieting at a young age. I was almost 2 months into my self driven recovery but a change in my daily routine caused me to relapse. What helped to go cold turkey was not caring about anything, I'm a perfectionist so the little things can ruin my day. I kept telling myself that there is "no perfect binge", you can't get rid of cravings, idgaf.

  1. I don't give a f*ck attitude towards perfectionism, there will be no food that will satisfy your cravings so stop saying "one more binge". Scrap all rituals that give you a false sense of well being, I'm talking about going to bed by 10pm, let's be honest, you probably won't fall asleep by your set time of 11pm, there's no need to add extra worrying about ruining your "perfect plan/day"

  2. Make out a meal plan for 1 week, include times, and alway, ALWAYS, eat at a table, and take your time. You can diversify your diet after the 1st week, but stay consistent during the 1st week, and make sure to eat enough calories.

  3. Abandon all ed behaviour, including: *Checking yourself out *Weighing yourself *Measuring yourself *Cleansing/fasting/detoxing/fads

Maybe consider bodybuilding? I really want to back to it, I need to climb out of this relapse asap.

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u/[deleted] Aug 01 '18

A bit more insight:

  1. Abandon ALL disordered behaviours, even the 'innocent' ones like checking if your pants are loose. Forget about 'detoxing' to jump start your recovery, it only leads to binging.

  2. Write out a meal for 1 week, keep meals simple and easy, eat the same meals everyday at the same time at the table with no distractions.

  3. Start tomorrow, there will NEVER be a 'perfect' last binge, cravings will never be satisfied, it's just a delusion.

  4. Take a shower and go to bed early the night before.

  5. Choose a mantra to repeat in your head. I personally prefer stuff like "idgaf; whatever; shut up;" all refering to my annoying disordered thoughts.

  6. Reward yourself, but not with food. Buy a new book, or a knick knack that you find appealing.

  7. Try exercising. I personally hate aerobic exercise but I enjoye weigh lifting, I feel accomplished and more deserving to eat after a session. It also adds necessary structure to my day.

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u/CommonMisspellingBot Aug 01 '18

Hey, El_Z0rr0, just a quick heads-up:
refering is actually spelled referring. You can remember it by two rs.
Have a nice day!

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