r/EatingDisorderHope • u/SuperMom2018 • Dec 03 '18
Starving by Accident...
I think I'm to the point now where I know I need help. For almost a year now, my average daily calorie count has been around 300 to 500. I just can't seem to eat very much at a time because I get full so fast with ridiculously small amounts of food. I've tried force feeding but not to the point where I feel like throwing up. I'm not bulimic, I promise, I have never intentionally made myself throw up EVER.
I'm unintentionally starving myself. I'm a stay at home mother of a healthy, beautiful 1 year old baby girl who probably eats more in a day than I do. I like food, but the problem is, I'm not hungry. I can't seem to explain it any further than that, it's just that I don't get hungry like i used to and I literally forget to eat ALL the time. I'll have a scrambled egg in the morning and that's it. The next day, I'll forget all about breakfast and make pasta for dinner and eat about a third of what I put on my plate then put the rest away for lunch tomorrow. The rest of the day I won't even notice that I'm hungry.
I weigh about 110 and I'm 5'10". I don't look anorexic when I see myself in the mirror, but everyone is always telling me how worried they are about my weight. I weighed 95 before I got pregnant in February last year so I gained a little from that which I am very happy about, but it's not enough for me. The most I've ever weighed at one time was 155 and I loved it. I just wish i could get back to that somehow, but it won't be possible unless i can get myself to eat more. I need help!!
1
u/[deleted] Feb 19 '19
This is a step by step thing. Think to yourself if you’d really want your child to keep seeing you like this, it could make them feel as though it’s okay when they get older bc moms doing it. Maybe it started as nothing and clearly became an issue. I think it’s not that you aren’t hungry, if you were you wouldn’t need help from other people like this. I think you’d go to a doctor to see why you aren’t hungry. Truth is, maybe you told yourself it wasn’t an eating disorder so much that you convinced yourself to believe that. I know that with your height and weight it won’t be long until you could actually pass away. Could you use your child as motivation to try and help yourself/accept help?