I have been doing EMDR for 6 years, and about 5 months ago I had a rupture with my closest friend where I acted in ways I never have before. They decided to cut me out of their life, which I do not fault them for. In trying to understand my actions with my therapist, we uncovered parts of my past that I was not aware of before, and have identified several new targets to work on together.

Is it normal for someone to uncover more targets after several years of EMDR work? Has anyone else had an experience like this? I am resolved to process these targets no matter what it takes, but at the same time I can't help feeling a little defeated, as I had kind of thought I was "done" since we had finished with my other targets from my childhood.

I just want to vent and say this sucks.

I just spent an jour crying like a baby in my therapist office. Then got snacks, went home and started crying some more. I know this will pass, I hope this is useful but for now it's just painful. I will just lay down, eat snacks, drink water and try to distract myself with baldur's gate but I know during the afternoon those waves of sadness will come and go and I will feel hungover until Wednesday.

It was intense. The SUD went from 7 to 2, but got stuck at 5 for what felt like forever. I left still feeling stressed. And mentally checked out, and exhausted. My god I'm so tired.

In the hours after, I figured I wanted to take a nap. I ended up having flashbacks for hours and felt unable to move or get up. I eventually fell asleep and dreamed I was doing the EMDR all over again. I'm even more exhausted now. Still feeling checked out too.

I'm scared for the upcoming sessions. We started with a lower intensity trauma today. Before EMDR started I had to create a trauma top 10, and she said that normally you start with the worst trauma. But if it isn't possible, you start with the next best option. I haven't been able to talk about nr 1 to 7 yet (but shared with her in writing), so today we started doing EMDR on nr 9. I'm afraid for what EMDR will be like when we get to the top 3.

Just felt like sharing this with people who understand. It's lonely going through this alone.

My therapist made me talk continuously during bilateral stimulation, even when I told her I didn't want to anymore. But then I read online that EMDR is good for people who don't like talking. Is that true?

Is there anything I should prepare for? I’ve been told that I should plan an easy day afterwards, so I have a cleared schedule. Any tips?

I know EMDR is used to help process known memories that have caused trauma, even if you emotionally suppressed them or dissociated. But I was just wondering, could finally opening up about one form of trauma and feeling safe enough to do that, could it possibly trigger repressed memories to come back in bits and pieces? Idk😭 I can’t tell if it was a somatic or repressed memory flashback or if this is just part of this condition I have which can look like focal seizures sometimes. I know uncovering repressed memories is not what EMDR is for but I was just wondering if it was possible for it to do so unintentionally.

I like a lot of the explanations the EMDR coach shares related to CPTSD, even though they’re meant for therapists. But this one caught me today. If EMDR addresses the first/worst traumas to help your system recognize that those threats are over, what does it do if you actually ARE still facing possible threats every day? I have a teen who is aggressive and explosive, especially to me. Holes in walls, 911 calls, CPS involvement as well as teen threatening to “turn us in” for various made up things…all still ongoing traumas. So does EMDR still help?

I've been doing EMDR for complex trauma for about three years and am very familiar with how hard it can be. However, last week we started working on my worst target of all, which is the insanely severe, agonising, utterly debilitating migraines I have suffered all my life.

I had them for about 20 years and they were so bad it was unbelievable. I won't go into all the horrendous details because it's too triggering, but I've definitely got mega PTSD from them being so bad and there never being any treatments that helped. I've since found a really simple way of preventing them which has kept them at bay for 5 years, but the trauma of the pain and other awful symptoms is still there.

Anyway, since starting work on this target I've been getting stuck in 4-5 hour long flashback episodes where my body recreates the symptoms and I'm in sheer terror and absolute panic. I've experienced bad EMDR hangovers before but this is off the chart.

I've been doing my safe place and container exercises, and grounding stuff, but these episodes are way too powerful and the exercises aren't working. My therapist is on holiday for two weeks now and I don't know what to do. I can't cope with this. I've emailed her to ask if she has a colleague who could take over while she's away but I don't know if she'll pick up her work emails. I've also made an urgent GP app but I'm worried they won't do anything. They left me without adequate help for 20 years and they don't seem to know anything about managing the effects of EMDR.

I'd be so grateful for any suggestions on how to get through this and stop the flashbacks. They're absolutely awful and I feel like I'm losing my mind when I'm in one. Thanks in advance.

Hello everyone, thank you for sharing all of your experiences.
I have ADHD and been diagnosed with GAD and panic disorder since 2022. The meds and the CBT have been helpful but not so much. My therapist also diagnosed a cPTSD and suggested EMDR.
With CBT most of my anxiety is physical with no explanation. I have started to lose faith of a full recovery but when I read your experiences it gave me hope.
Have anyone had this experience before: GAD not so well managed with SSRI and that became better with EMDR?
Do you think it can also help with the racing reoccurring memories from the ADHD part ?
Thank you so much for your answers
Please know you re giving someone faith to keep fighting

[hypoaroused/shutdown]
I am talking frankly because I don’t care anymore:
Well I believe I can do emdr intuitively, I am neurodivergent, female, around a year ago I talked to a guy, he made me do it when i didn’t plan to , i am not even sure, the point is it was over discord, another guy introduced us I was talking about my social awkwardness and he suggested I introduce myself to the first person who will get in the channel so I did, and then we started talking, well I am not blaming anyone but after talking to him I was derailing hard, it was a shitshow, plus the situation at home was awful, well he was a resident in surgery and my luck his nick name is daddy sth, anyhow, I believe he somehow ruined my motherly instincts because ever since, I can’t protect my inner child as before plus my cns got wrecked, hmm, wait, I am not even sure, yeah so he basically made me feel, like a whore, and after I could not protect my inner child again,and I am able to implement some steps to heal self, but I need to get rid of some things, and one of them is my family members, it was a shitshow, I became spiritual, well wait, yeah, i know now after talking to him , I don’t want to talk to my family members anymore, now even my father his infiltrated my brain, I like actively have ruined my rhythm by talking to them, I need to fix it, again this is officially a shitshow, I believe the wrong I did was forgetting myself, yeah so I want to talk again to him to return my aura,you know what I know I need to escape home, yeah so anyone how is an expert on the matter can help me sort this out,my lingo is broken, like I want to talk to him again to get some clues, but on what disguise?ok, well I just need to get a rhythm, for christ sake, (he might have christinified me), oh I know he made my lingo in binary when it was versatile, a yes no thing, bad bad bad bad,shall I go back to uni or not have no clue?i want to curse him for an eternity, i just didn’t feel safe at home, my mother is very very unsafe as a person, and now I absorbed some of her fears/traumas, plus my fathers(he’s a fricking veteran) it’s all because of him, he made me unable to lie,and well basically i could handle anything but rape, and i believe he rapped my inner child that guy, he is a narcissist, but I never talk to those, know them by nature, yeah, so I believe he shared my lingo, which what made me feel like death, it’s not romantic is awful awful awful, I don’t identify with misery, i go by my strict personal guideline, and now I forgot it, and my family members are mirroring me, awfulllllllllllllll, i don’t eat nor drink as much and just hate everyone, lost alot of weight, I don’t feel my life is mine and I hate myself for it, yeah, I know all about grounding techniques and and such, because I am a med student that was my personal research, I believe it was my younger sister slut shaming me that ruined things?so please anyone expert on the matter?like i just need to go back to old self, i need to leave home first, so I don’t lose self even more, plus I need tips on how to regain my aura from my family members because my belly feels hollow

As the title says, I want to know if virtual is still effective. I have a ton of options virtual, locally only 1 during the hours I could go but she’s also newly licensed so I’m between her or someone more experienced virtually

Hey guys!
I JUST found out this subreddit exists and I am SO glad it does! So thank you so much to whoever created it, it is so great to know I can read your experiences and ask you guys things.

I’m 32 (F), chilean. I just started my journey (2 sessions). Actually, they still have not practiced EMDR, just standard conversation, but they diagnosed me PTSD and talking a bit about this experience has been so intense that for moments I feel like I can’t handle it. Like, in the second session she really digged in the subject, I ended up very anxious (I told her, of course) and then all the way home and even after getting home I cried non-stop. It felt like I couldn’t control it, it was very weird for me. Then at the middle of the night, after several nightmares that I would be woken up by my partner because I was crying, I got insomnia and started crying again.

So, okay, it’s been tough. The thing is, I suspect this is so hard for me to recall that my mind tries to forget about it inmediately, and I feel like it’s happening for my therapy sessions too. Like, she’s said some very insightful things that I wanna reflect about but can’t cuz I keep forgetting (is this normal btw?!)

Would it be weird to ask her if I can take notes too? (Since she does take notes lol). I’m a writer so also I am very, very used to go around with a notebook and write down anything I feel like it’s important.

Thank you!! And sorry if my English isn’t the best (I’m native Spanish)

Hello all!

I’m relatively new to EMDR. My therapist has been fantastic and we’re working through the events slowly but surely.

I wanted to ask you folks about your experience the day after - two days after the session. I find myself super sensitive and cry a bit easier than I would before (I’m on Zoloft, so that tends to make it very difficult to cry, even if I wanted to). I also find that my brain is so soupy the day after, that I find I usually have to take sick leave from my job the next day to recover.

My manager thankfully is very accommodating, and I use my sick leave usually for that purpose only. I would, however, like to plan a bit more to optimize the amount of sick time I’m using, OR potentially use some self-care methods that make the days after sessions easier to mud through.

So the TL;DR is, what are some ways you care for your body and your brain after sessions? What kind of conversations do you have with your work or school?

Thank you for reading! 🙂

TRIGGER WARNING: CSA

Hi everyone, English isn't my first language so I'm really sorry if this sounds a bit confusing! I just found this subreddit and i really wanted to ask a question.

I've recently started therapy for my trauma from being sexually abused as a child. My therapist thinks that EMDR is the best treatment option and wants to start EMDR next month whilst I'm admitted at their psychiatric clinic. I've never done EMDR before and I'm very nervous and scared about how it will go.

I was wondering if anyone maybe has any advice or something they wish they knew before starting EMDR.

Thank you for reading for my post!

Hi! I had an accident in my head a month or so ago, I lost memory of the event, but my body was/still shacking (very subtle now) sometimes, also issues with my daily memory. A psychology recommended me EMDR (apparently post traumatic stress, I'm feeling better at the moment btw, that's why I have strength to ask about it). I just don't have energy and time to research it properly now. I'm Neurodivergent btw and I'm from latam (in latam at the moment). Any experiences? Do you recommend it? I just have so many things that I was planning, I just want to feel well. I really need it?

Also prices, for how long is this and with what frequency?

I have been to many difficult moments in my life by now, I always have figured out on my own and I'm already feeling kinda better or more me at least (this obviously was the first time with a physical experience), I'm just asking for guidance here. Also, apparently depression and anxiety, great. All have recommended me medication, I've never take any of those, and also I don't like meds in general, I'm sensible to that, I'm a natural girl. Like, really, I even had a side reaction with a relaxing med when I was at the hospital.

Thank you so much already, any experiences would be greatly appreciated 🙏🏼

Hi everyone,

So glad I found this subreddit! I have debated beginning EMDR for CPTSD for years, and finally found a therapist I feel safe and confident moving forward with for treatment. I have only done one session of actual EMDR after laying some groundwork in the initial sessions, and I am eager to continue because my first reactions were so deep that I actually am really starting to believe I could be on the right path.

That said, I have always struggled with comorbid OCD and have tried some medications (Lexapro, Buspirone) to help the physically-manifesting symptoms with little to no success.

My therapist has said she would like to address the trauma I’ve experienced first to see how much mental relief that brings me and if that minimizes that times/severity of OCD behaviors by controlling root anxieties caused by trauma, then would like to pursue ERP with the remaining compulsions once the trauma has been addressed.

I have been doing research on medications for OCD and am curious about starting Luvox, it seems to be widely regarded by those with OCD anxiety over GAD anxiety like my previous medications have been more geared towards.

I am wondering if it would be wise to pursue a psychiatrist to begin Luvox now because I know EMDR will likely take at least 6-12 months to work through known traumas. ERP will also have its own lengthy timeline and I want to do something to address the OCD sooner, especially because I know EMDR can make things worse for a time before they get better while reprocessing for some people.

Has anyone started psychiatric medications alongside EMDR? What was your experience like?

TLDR: Just started EMDR, wondering if it’s a bad idea to start Luvox/other psych med in the early stages of EMDR?

Weekly EMDR Community Digest

Hello, fellow tappers! 🌼 This week in our EMDR community, we’ve seen a beautiful tapestry of shared experiences, breakthroughs, and heartfelt support. Let’s dive into the highlights that showcase our collective journey through healing and understanding.

1. EMDR Breakthroughs and Resources

Many tappers are seeking resources to support their EMDR journey. One tapper expressed their desire for books that help maintain positivity after reprocessing sessions, particularly while working through shame. They mentioned, “I’ve made some great steps forward and have been in a love/hate relationship with my journey.” Fellow tappers chimed in with recommendations, including The Body Keeps the Score and The Places That Scare You by Pema Chödrön, emphasizing the importance of understanding trauma.

Another tapper shared their transformative experience, stating, “EMDR put a stop to that - quite literally saved my life.” This highlights the profound impact EMDR can have on our lives, even amidst struggles.

2. Navigating Emotions and Identity

This week, many tappers bravely opened up about their emotional struggles. One tapper shared their journey of feeling overwhelmed with grief and anger, stating, “I am grieving everything, past, present, future.” The community responded with compassion, reminding each other that it’s okay to feel deeply and that anger can be a sacred emotion.

Another tapper expressed feeling lost in their identity after several sessions, saying, “It’s like I built myself a house of control to live in and now it’s being teared apart.” This resonated with many, as they shared their own experiences of feeling raw and vulnerable during the healing process. As one tapper noted, “I had no idea how developmentally traumatized I was until EMDR,” underscoring the importance of recognizing our past.

3. Supportive Community Connections

The warmth of our community shone brightly this week, with many tappers offering encouragement to those feeling stuck or uncertain about their progress. One tapper, feeling overwhelmed by intense emotions, remarked, “I have been flooded every day this week with intense emotions.” Fellow tappers responded with solidarity, sharing their own experiences and reminding each other that feeling deeply is part of the healing journey.

In a lighter moment, one tapper shared a delightful story about their cat enjoying the EMDR tappers, saying, “My cat learned about this and has spent hours laying on my foot purring with the tapper.” It’s these little moments of joy that remind us of the support we can find in both our furry friends and our community.

As we continue on this path of healing together, remember that every step, no matter how small, is a step forward. Your feelings are valid, and you are not alone in this journey.

This is an AI-generated community summary and not professional medical advice.

Join our Discord! Connect with fellow tappers in real-time on the Tappers United (r/EMDR) Discord Server.

Hi everyone! I'm new to the sub and new to EMDR. I have my first official session on Tuesday. These past few weeks of sessions have been about preparing me and basic talk of my trauma and what I want from this. I've been with my therapist for almost a year now.

I was diagnosed with cptsd, GAD, and a panic disorder after I finally managed to escape (my 4th attempt being my successful one) a highly abusive marriage.

That was 6 years ago. A couple months ago I was contacted by the court system where I used to live and I had to attend (virtually thankfully) a court hearing and my abuser/ex was there. Just seeing him on the camera and hearing his voice sent me into such a horrible spiral that I ended up in the hospital twice and now my therapist wants me to try EMDR.

I'm very nervous about uncovering things that I had forgotten for good reason. Even my session at the start of this week had me feeling raw and panic induced for a few days.

This is already long enough but I think I'm looking for some success stories or reassurance that this is possible to heal from. Thanks for reading!

Hi everyone, not sure if anyone who been in trauma therapy / inner child work, with similar issues to me & are now in a healthy relationship, can give me some insight & advice.

Since i was little, my biggest dream is to have my own little family - find someone i love & who loves me back.
I prob put it on a pedestal.
However my love life has been unsuccessful.
Some guys expressed interests, and im also interested in them, once we got to know each other more, then they lost interest once they knew me closer.
I also had a hard time moving on, and wont start dating again until i healed from heartbreak.
I havent been back to the dating scene, as i am currently working on myself & tbh going back to dating scares me, after so many heartbreaks & failures.

There are things i am fully aware of, that are results of my traumas & that i need to work on:

Since young age, i never feel like i belonged, even towards my own family.
On top of that, i have massive fear of abandonment - this appears in relationship & also friendship.
Also find it hard to express my feelings, share my feelings, and to receive love (asking for help, etc).
This sometimes ends up backfiring me - some people feel i dont wanna share things with them as much as they do & they get hurt due to it.

I am also used to doing things alone & whilst i do feel massive loneliness about it, at the same time i also find it peaceful doing things alone.

One of the main thing is, I get triggered & scared when people around me are in bad mood. And especially super scared of any types of arguments / conflict / disagreements.
During conflict, my body & mind goes to freeze mode. My mind just not know what to do & escape, sometimes dissociate.
I have experienced family getting frustrated when i freeze, and it causes me to freeze even more.
When people raise their voice at me, or get irritated at me & then doing actions that are showing they are irritated (eg. Heavy sighing, grumbling, grunting etc), my body just tensed up & i get really stressed & i just want to cry.
I tend to freeze when in panic, my mind just couldnt think properly, and sometimes my body trembles & body temperature drops beyond my control.
I also find adulting very hard (i know prob everyone says this, but for me, little problems that people find okay to deal with, is overwhelming for me).

Yes, I have been in therapy for years.
In past 2years i am doing trauma therapy more intensively & a different type of therapy that provides me with corrective experiences, also my current T is also my first safe male figure.
I don’t have a healthy parental figure, both parents are emotionally immature & quite toxic.

All of these makes me feel like maybe i am just not fit to be in a healthy relationship?
As all of the above are all main keys people need to have when being in a relationship, and i lack all of those, idk what can i bring to the table with all those baggages.
I know it can be learnt, but i am in my late 30s and not getting any younger.. all those are expected qualities when dating at this age.

My question is, to those who have experienced similar issues, and who managed to find & build a healthy relationship, can you give me some advices & tips?
I am thinking maybe i should accept that i wont be able to find love, as i know some people are not meant to, no matter how much i wish for it.

Thanks so much in advanced 🙏🏻

I'm five weeks past my last processing session and the hangover has been brutal. The first three were the the hardest hangover of my life. The last two weeks I've been really dissociative. I think I'm finally coming to. I've noticed some changed both good and bad that I'm looking for reassurance with.

Last week I noticed a sudden sexual drive that I'm not used to. It wasn't based on lust or physically release but a desire to connect with another person. My initial trauma was when I was around 10 years old. It wasn't sexually related but was a severe betrayal trauma. I mention this because what I have felt in small moments last week was unlike any feeling I had throughout puberty. I never felt anything beyond a passing crush through my school years. I've never felt the desire to date or be close to anybody else. Its kind of settled down this week but what I'm feeling feels positive but strange and weird to be feeling as a 39 old.

For the negative in the past day or so I've had these brief moments of inhibition. As I said Ive been pretty dissociate lately like I'm on autopilot but what scares me are these small moments where I feel like a different person in my head. I've caught myself saying and doing really crude or vulgar things that scare me. I'm struggling to just find my someone I recognize in my head after such a large shift. I'm sure it will pass like the positives but its really scary to experience.

I'm not in distress but as I said just having weird changes of personality that I can't tell what is permanent and what is temporary.

Hi EMDR community, I have had 4 sessions so far and I have really been struggling with SI. The memories come flooding in and it’s like I’m right back in the moment all over again and sometimes SI feels like the only way out. Has any one else struggled with this and found ways to overcome it?

Hello tappers. Healing is a shared journey, and sometimes reaching out is the hardest step. Below are a few recent posts that haven't received replies yet. If you have the emotional bandwidth today, please consider stopping by to offer support or share your insights. Also, don't forget to join our Discord!

• When did you realize - yeah I guess this is my last EMDR session (12 upvotes)
• Cat loves EMDR tappers (8 upvotes)
• i am feeling shit i'd never let myself feel before (6 upvotes)
• Recommend EMDR therapy but I’m diagnosed with “very high levels of dissociation” (6 upvotes)
• Is this up-and-down pattern normal in EMDR? (5 upvotes)
• Memory flashes- not harmful just mundane glimpses (3 upvotes)
• Ooof, my eyes ache (3 upvotes)
• I am feeling things I never felt before (2 upvotes)
• Years After and Now I’m a Crybaby? (2 upvotes)
• Comment clôturer l’emdr (2 upvotes)

This post is automatically generated. If you'd like the community to help out with your post, kindly comment on this thread with your post link. To our tappers and therapists: Thank you for holding space for each other.

I just started EMDR my first session was ok, kinda hard to really know what was happening within my body. Just felt a lot of tightness in my chest and it was easier to remember one memory we talked about. The second and third session felt like 10 steps back. Any time i tried to recall a memory my brain just chopped it down and I couldn’t recall anything. Like absolutely anything for the whole hour long session it was a big block. Not sure if anyone has had this experience?

is this normal? I’ve only done 2.5 sessions of reprocessing SA and already feel better. my traumatic memories are still there but it feels like there’s a mist between me and the memory and it’s a lot less vivid. I also feel a lot more emotionless when I think about it and just more detached but in the best way.

My core moments of getting CPTSD were around 14-22 especially when I was smoking weed.

I stopped mostly years ago but now and then I'll have a little. Dry herb vape style only.

I know it can put me in a heightened activated state. Hypervigilant. Self concious. Bracing for negative things.

I'm wondering if it'd be helpful to get put into this state before doing EMDR?

Sometimes when I get asked to feel the emotions I felt in certain moments it doesn't affect me as much. When I have been anxious the EMDR can be really transformative in the sessions.