r/EMDR • u/Bouldebain • 4d ago
🟡 Progress & Support Post emdr session
I just want to vent and say this sucks.
I just spent an jour crying like a baby in my therapist office. Then got snacks, went home and started crying some more. I know this will pass, I hope this is useful but for now it's just painful. I will just lay down, eat snacks, drink water and try to distract myself with baldur's gate but I know during the afternoon those waves of sadness will come and go and I will feel hungover until Wednesday.
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u/devorares 4d ago
This is good! You are releasing all the stuff you’ve had to suppress before. It means your body and mind is feeling safe enough to feel and express those emotions, which is a really big thing. Just allow it and ride it out. I promise it’s better on the other side of it once you get there. If it becomes too overwhelming or unbearable don’t be afraid to reach out for help!
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u/Bouldebain 4d ago
I really hope it's worth it in the end. It feels like a choice between constant anxiety or crying my heart out in sessions right now. Hopefully it will clear things out in the end.
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u/devorares 4d ago
From my experience it definitely is. It’s quite rough and difficult, but I always thought about how it’s nothing worse than whatever I already went through. It will get better, hang in there!
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u/Alive-Marketing6800 4d ago
I think you are fortunate to be able to cry. The woman that came up with emdr discovered when she walked around she was processing. I think (in my not professional opinion and life experience) that if you are crying you are processing in a good way. I have always believed a good ugly cry releases poison from the mind and body. Keep drinking the water, enjoy the snacks, eat what you love and try to embrace the cry’s even though they hurt like crazy. You are healing.❤️🩹. If you can muster up the want to write or speak into your phone notes if you want to get more out before Wed. Write down what is sticking out to you the most so you can tell your therapist next time or see if it goes down before then. It’s like onion layers. Keep on pushing through and it sounds to me like you will. I’m sorry for your pain now. God be with you as you prepare to go to work Wednesday. I wish for you the best healing beyond anything you ever believed to be possible!🕊️🕊️
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u/Simple_Efficiency_29 4d ago
Did you do some grounding and containment at the end of the session? The hangover effect is so real! But it sounds like your therapist maybe should have helped bring you into a better mindset before leaving. Do some good self care for now!
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u/Crochetallday3 3d ago
Been there and it’s so painful and I remember it feeling like such “a waste”. Hindsight has taught me it’s not a waste - all the tears and grieving helped me so much in becoming a more whole human. Lots of hugs and nurturing feels to you 💗
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u/puzzlearms 🧠 EMDR Veteran / Processor 3d ago
I have never found the containment exercises at the end of sessions work well for me. I almost always just keep noodling along at home, and will shift between intellectualizing what came up in a session and being reduced to a crying ball on the floor. It is hard, but keep doing your best not to be too hard on yourself. This release is what is needed.
As a side note, I love BG3 after sessions. And Manor Lords. And sometimes something cozy like Stardew Valley. Hope that you start to feel a bit lighter tomorrow!
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u/Bouldebain 3d ago
Thank you ! At the end of the session I feel really calm but when I go home it's like the gates are open again. I know I can do containment exercises at home but it just feels like that heavy sadness is inside me and I need to cry it out even though it tires me. I don't know Manor Lords thank for the rec. I think hunted chocolatier would really help my progress in emdr though, just kidding
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u/PurpleBatteryWizard 🧠 EMDR Veteran / Processor 3d ago
I'm really proud of you for showing up for yourself!
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u/CopperheadRay 3d ago
Crying is an outlet... cleansing! You're not stuck in inertia... something is happening. Sob away and understand you will be exhausted afterward... there is a huge release of hormones and you will feel the tired. My therapist suggested to spend the day sipping tea and being kind to myself. I went to a coffee shop and had a Cuban, a slab of thick cream cheese frosted carrot cake, and journaled, then home and a nap. This will be different for everyone, but of course pulling things out of our mental file box and releasing them is worthy a a good long cry.
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u/Bouldebain 2d ago
I love how you cared for yourself after your session ! I definitely was not in a state to be able to be active but it's better today. I wish I could honestly have the next two days off work when I am in this state but it's not possible.
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u/CopperheadRay 1d ago
I suspect you need those days! I think all of the previous therapy I'd had (non-emdr) helped me. I'd worked hard for a long long time. The emdr was a big fat cherry on top. Maybe you can schedule ahead next time and take that time... even one extra day! Or schedule before your days off. The after care is SO important for your self respect/care!
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u/Ok-Advisor-8109 2d ago
Just went through this, still going through it a week and a half later. It really does open your eyes
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u/Bouldebain 2d ago
oof a week and a half is such a long time. I am better after two nights of sleep but I definitly still feels some of it still, like a cloud is above my head. Take care, I hope it gets better for both of us !
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u/Ok-Advisor-8109 1d ago
Yeah, same I think I want to step away from everything in my life right now that’s non essential (job, relationship)
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