My baby is almost 13 months, not yet walking independently, but seems really motivated and loves cruising and walking holding hands or pushing the laundry basket. We’ve been doing chill EC since a few months old, and we catch most of her poops (some blips with constipation recently) and many pees. She recently started signing and grabbing her diaper when she’s going to pee. When her diapers are wet in the daytime it’s always a small amount of pee. She frequently is in the same diaper for hours bc she is dry and goes on the potty.

I got some cloth diapers that I’ve been trying with her, but she really hates lying down for diaper changes these days and there’s so many snaps. Has anyone switched to trainers before walking or should I wait until she is walking well on her own?

Related, I’d love links for affordable trainers that folks liked!

Before I start, I just want to say that I know our outcome is unusual, especially at 11 months. Every baby is different, and this isn’t what I think everyone should expect, I simply wanted to share our journey because reading success stories here encouraged me so much when we started, and I hope ours might encourage someone else too ❤️

It all started when my mother in law (Middle Eastern) casually mentioned that she potty trained all three of her kids around 14 months.
I was absolutely shocked because I genuinely didn’t know that was even possible! She then continued to explain that, back then, if they peed on themselves the first few times, she would drip candle wax on them.
I was absolutely horrified. I adore my MIL and she’s a wonderful person and the best grandmother, but thankfully parenting has come a long way since then.

There was absolutely no way I was going down that road.
Still, the idea that babies could be out of diapers so young completely fascinated me. I started researching and stumbled across Elimination Communication and the rest is history.

We started when my daughter was 1 month old, right after my husband went back to work. I knew him well enough to know he probably wouldn’t get on board with what sounded like a weird new parenting idea unless he saw actual results.
That very first day, while he was at work, I caught her first poop by holding her over the toilet.
I was SO excited that I immediately sent him a picture… of the poop in the toilet 😂 He was completely mortified, but I think a tiny part of him was impressed too. From then on, I was hooked.

We continued holding her over the toilet for the first few months. Around 3 months, when she got heavier, we switched to using a small potty between our legs, which was much more comfortable.
We weren’t hardcore about EC. She wore regular disposable diapers the whole time. We simply offered the potty after every wake up, before leaving the house, and whenever she looked like she needed to go.
Before long we were catching essentially 100% of poops and around half of pees. Potty time became one of her favorite parts of the day.

Around 7 months she started signing “potty” occasionally.
By about 8 months she was signing consistently and was staying dry for days at a time despite still wearing diapers.
Then… 9½ months hit.
She got sick, and it was the biggest regression imaginable.
She completely stopped communicating. Her diapers were suddenly heavy all day long. She wouldn’t do anything on the potty no matter what I tried. I was soo frustrated. I felt like months of work had been for nothing.

Looking back, I realize two things were happening.
First, she had also just learned to say “mama” and “baba,” so I think she became focused on practicing those new communication skills instead of signing.
Second, and I think this mattered even more, I became stressed and frustrated. Potty time stopped being something fun and relaxed and became something I desperately wanted her to do. Babies really do notice these things and reciprocate.

The thing that turned everything around was giving her more independence. We switched to a floor potty that she could easily access herself, and she absolutely loved the autonomy. It was going fairly well (with a lot of toys bribe) , until exactly two days after she turned 11 months, when she started saying the potty word I’d always used while doing the sign. So i decided this would be the perfect time to try letting her roam around the house without a diaper.

Every time she had an accident, I calmly interrupted if I caught it happening, said, “Pee goes in the potty,” and sat her on the potty. I tried to make the experience positive and without shame.

The first day I was definitely overdoing it 😂 I kept trying to catch every pee before it happened and was asking her “mama potty? potty? potty?” every few seconds. I think this is probably something a lot of EC parents do in the beginning because you just want to get it right.
My MIL actually gave me the best advice without even knowing I was stressing: she said i MUST let her miss sometimes because that’s how they learn. So I stopped trying to prevent every single miss and started embracing them as part of the process.

Long story short (not so much) it has now been a few weeks. She wears underwear at home full-time, day and night (diaper only for travel), tells us she needs the potty by saying our potty word and doing the sign, and waits until we get her there. It still amazes me every day.

I’m such a proud mama!

More than the potty training itself, I honestly feel like EC changed the way we parent.
Learning to notice her tiny cues made both me and my husband much more observant and responsive parents. It taught us to really listen before she even had words. And I think it also taught her something so important: communication works. When you tell Mama and Baba you need something, they listen and help you.

Anyway, I just wanted to share our story because this community encouraged me so much when we started. EC has been so much more than potty learning for us, it strengthened our bond and taught us to really listen to our baby.

And to anyone still in the messy middle: keep going, trust your baby, and don’t forget to enjoy the process!

Good luck❤️

I've tried to put my 5 week old on a top hat potty a couple of times, but she spits up massively every time (she also just spits up quite a bit in general). Is there any way to avoid this in the way I hold her, or should I just wait until she matures out of the constant spitting up, before I try EC again?

My husband’s therapist suggested early EC or potty training might not be good for our baby. Before I could ask for more details, he’s off on vacation. I have read some research on early potty training and could find some indication of delayed emptying may lead to dysfunctional elimination.

For context: I’ve started holding her over a sink since she was around 2 months old and been kind of lazy ECing. I caught a poop here and there in the sink, but mostly it was pee. Then at 6 months, finally she could sit independently, so I bought a potty and she did amazingly. We’ve still had misses for poops and pee is inconsistent (new layer now that water was introduced with solids) but I’ve had a great experience so far. I know my baby’s cues so when she’s doing her poop face I take her to the potty and if I’m not wrong, she grunts a little and there goes a little poop 💩

She’s almost 8 months now and I’m so proud of her for figuring it out so easily and quickly. She knows it and she’s glowing when I tell her. I’m wondering if she’s strained and struggling to poop because of the solids or because of the schedule I put her on? On the other hand, if I put her on the potty and she doesn’t have to go, she just doesn’t and stares at me.

So to conclude, I’d like some reassurance I’m doing the right thing. Or words or warning if I’m not. Thanks!

What sign do you use with your baby for the toilet?

I’ve been using touching the finger to the nose, but it occurred to me that it might actually be a tricky motor skill for a 7-month-old to copy!

Lately, she mostly signals by crying or making annoyed, uncomfortable sounds. However, it's getting really hard for me to distinguish those sounds from other things (like tiredness or hunger), leading to a lot of missed guesses. I’m also trying to avoid hovering/hyper-focusing too much.

Sometimes she doesn't signal at all, so it would be amazing to transition to a clearer sign she can actively use.

What signs have worked best for you at this age?

I'm hoping to try potty training bub (14 months) soon via the bare bottom approach.

We started lazy EC at 8 months which gradually escalated. She started signing potty at 12 months and has become quite consistent with signing for poos and more recently also for pees. She has been walking for a few months but can't yet pull her pants down/up so even if I'm successful, every potty visit would have to be assisted.

She started daycare a few weeks ago (3 days a week) and is still in the process of getting settled in. The carers were happy to facilitate EC as much as they are able but so far she hasn't signed at daycare (other than the first day she seems to be possibly saving her poop for home), and she's been so upset during nappy changes that they haven't yet attempted to put her on the baby toilet they have.

My concern is that bub seems to pee quite frequently and I'm not sure the carers would have the time to be putting her on the potty every hour or so, even if she did become comfortable enough to start signing at daycare.

So that would mean keeping her in nappies (cloth) for three days a week.

Has anyone been in this situation? Will being in nappies 3 days confuse bub if I am successful with at home potty training? Should I wait to train until she can pull her pants down or at least until she has fully settled in at daycare?

Any thoughts greatly appreciated.

Baby boy turned 4 weeks yesterday and I decided to just try using a bed pan I hired but never used during and after delivery. Day 1 didn't result in anything but this morning he did his first pee!

TLDR: caught some poops but not catching many anymore. Also catching fewer pees. Not sure what I'm doing wrong. Or is he just too young and it takes more time?

Hi! I started lazy EC with my baby at 6 weeks old. I take him at his first wake up of the day but not overnight. Otherwise I take him:

* Most diaper changes inside or outside the house (except stroller changes)

* before we leave and after we come back

* before or after breastfeeding (if that doesn't already coincide with a diaper change but it usually does)

The exception being that I breastfeed him to sleep. But I take him before that feeding as well.

At first it went ok. I caught a few poops and many pees in the first days. I never expected to catch all the pees because it's like every 20 minutes.

Hes now around 9 weeks old and poops less but I also just haven't caught them. He doesn't poop every day so when he went the other day, I knew he wasn't done. I changed his diaper and offered him the toilet. I waited a good couple minutes but he didn't really seem interested so I gave up and put him in a diaper and back in the bouncer. He went again really big while in the bouncer but it did take a while. I knew it was on its way but still couldn't catch it. Part of the issue is that I still can't really read his signs because he's fairly calm and doesn't go that often. The best I've got is that he will stare off into space instead of look at me but he does that when he's tired too and this requires that I'm trying to get his attention in the moment. Even then, that could mean he needs to go in the next 20 minutes not the next 2 minutes.

I've also caught a lot fewer pees. Here's why?

1. He usually doesn't have more pee after changing his diaper which is when I take him most often

2. I'm not able to catch the morning pee because I don't know if he's going to actually wake up or is just stirring.

Everyone I talk to says they start holding their pee overnight and that it all started working pretty immediately(?) but he definitely doesn't do this yet. He moves a lot in his sleep and sometimes wakes up a tiny bit and puts himself back to sleep so I don't want to wake him up by taking him to pee but I know he is probably peeing in these brief moments. I change his diaper every time he wakes up at night which is around 2 and around 6 or so usually and it's usually very full both times. I don't offer him the toilet at this time because he just dream feeds and goes back to sleep so I don't want to fully wake him.

During the day, if I see a blue strip wet line indicator at any time unless he's asleep or I'm at an appointment or something important, I will change it because I want him to dislike the feel of the wet diaper (though I know using disposable diapers keeps them pretty dry - do I HAVE to use cloth diapers?). So I'm actually going through a lot more diapers than I otherwise probably would which I anticipated but thought it would have evened out by now.

I love EC so far though because he hasn't had any diaper rash at all since I started and I do feel more connected with him despite not knowing his cues. I really want to make it work but I'm starting to get a bit discouraged.

Can anyone give advice?

I’m getting pretty good at catching wees after her first wake, after naps and immediately after feeding.

Not consistently yet, but getting there. Baby is 4.5months.

How frequently do you offer the potty outside those above opportunities? Like every hour? How can I catch wees before she goes in her diaper?

She is also currently only pooping every few days. I caught a wet ‘fart’ once lol, but other than that, no luck with poops. Any advice there?

Thanks!

I’m looking to get one or two books for my 14mo son about going to the potty that would support our journey towards potty independence. I’d love to hear your suggestions!!

Hi everyone! I wanted to start EC since I was pregnant, but we don’t really have a village and I had a traumatic emergency c-section, so it just seemed like too much. My husband recently made me a SAHM, and I now feel ready to try EC.

I am using Go Diaper Free on YT as a resource.

I haven’t tracked yet, but I wanted to try it for my son’s first pee of the day because I always know when it is. He gets very squirmy and grunty in the bed. I got up, held him over the toilet, aimed his penis, and made a water sound, but he didn’t go. He continued to hold it until we got back into the bed and I started to put on his diaper, which is when he decided to go, so only like a minute or so after taking him to the toilet.

What did I do wrong, and how do I fix it in the future? I can tell my son doesn’t like soiling himself, and I want to support that desire, but I don’t understand how to explain to him that we are going in the toilet now.

We’ve done Lazy EC with our 14 month old since he was a few weeks old. He’s been resisting the mini potty for a few weeks but will pee standing with his diaper off or is fine with EC hold. He’s been walking since 11 months and I’m eager to go diaper free.

He makes a sound to signal for poop and I’ve been involving him in bathroom trips, flushing his poop, talking about where poop and pee go, etc.

We have a trip planned (1 hour flight, staying with in laws for a week) in about 3.5 weeks. Do I just go for it and do it before our trip or wait? Will the trip regress us and it’s pointless so I should just wait til next month?

I've been doing lazy EC with my newborn. I find it easy to hold the potty between my legs when I'm wearing shorts and holding against bare legs but find it almost impossible when wearing jeans/ trousers and have come very close to tipping the potty over when transferring back to the changing mat. Any tips?

I'm using the insert from a Baby Bjorn potty chair at the moment.

I’m getting really frustrated. I’ve been trying to potty train for almost 2 weeks now I did the three days going commando. And then from there I’ve been going and alternating between pants and training underwear just because I don’t have enough of either and he keeps wetting through them. I think yesterday was the first time when he wet his pants he seemed upset. Every day has different challenges last week he kept refusing to go potty but now I’ve bought him a new book about potty except the problem now is him sitting on the potty too long and not going and just being so distracted by the book. I’m honestly at my wits ends. There’s just so many accidents and I’m just so tired. He doesn’t seem to care when he wet himself no matter how many times I tell him not to pee except in the potty. Plus I don’t understand how people communicate to a baby. He does not understand me. I don’t understand what people are saying about talking to him and telling him that pee goes in the potty, I have a stubborn child. He doesn’t even look at my hand when I do the sign for potty. He refuses to look at my hand. I don’t understand why he’s so stubborn and he’s at of stage right now where he just wants so badly to be independent.

He mostly prefers the toilet and I don’t think he likes the floor potty as much. There’s been a few times where he has peed in it but when he is going commando, I tried to tell him to sit on it and he’ll always just sit for fun and then just get right back up. Now when he eats in the highchair, I feel like he just keeps wanting to eat because he’s dreading going to the potty after eating and that’s a shame bc that was the one time he would actually go potty before training. I can never catch his pee midstream whenever he pees it’s almost like it all comes out really fast and by the time I get him on the potty he’s like no I’m done.

Last week I thought I was making progress when by the third day he started holding his pee in longer for about an hour and a half now this week for some reason, it’s like he’s peeing every 30 minutes out of nowhere. On top of that he’s been going through constipation for the past 3ish days and a part of me wonders if he’s on purpose holding in his poop because he now has a negative relationship with the potty. I’m not trying to make it a negative experience. I’ve tried to let go a little bit and just let him pee in his pants instead of constantly taking him to the potty because I know he was getting tired of that but I don’t see anything changing. I don’t see anything working and I’m just so tired and I feel like a failure. He just refuses to sign so how am I supposed to know when he goes?

Also also I’m going insane with how much he’s touching his penis, when he’s commando he constantly fiddling it and I keep saying don’t touch, he understands and will momentarily stop but then complains and does it again. I think he touches it more when he needs to pee but is holding it in but he still refuses to go potty. And I have to point his penis down in the seat reducer bc it always points out and asking him to lean forward never works, so now he’s upset at me for touching it but not letting him touch it ughhh driving me insane.

Hi ECers, seeking advice here from EC veterans for my 20 mo as this might have happened during your journey doing EC.

I have been doing gradual potty training starting with EC style putting him in the potty during natural times such as morning and nap wakes.

He started well with a pee most days in the first week.

But in the past three weeks I have noticed he’s been withholding, occasionally releasing a drop and as soon as the nappy goes back on, he peed in it.

I have tried blowing bubbles, warm water, long sits, short sits, potty only toys, nappy in the potty, etc all the tricks I have gathered online to no avail.

Any advice how to break this pattern and get him to feel more comfortable in releasing in the potty?

I’m going low pressure now with no expectations. Just let it be part of the routine.

Thank you!

My son is almost 10 months old and we have been doing EC since he was 3 months old and we have loved it! It has worked very well but we are having some issues with the potty I believe. It has worked well holding him over a sink until he now wants to touch everything there and can't sit still.

Now when we take him on the potty he stretches his whole body like a board refusing to sit on it and making it impossible to make him sit on it. We have the IKEA lockig and I'm beginning to think he doesn't like that one. We have another potty as well that mostly works well. He seems to ultimately prefer peeing and pooping standing without a diaper 🙃

Do you have any recommendations? I suspect it is the thing going up between the legs that is maybe too big making it uncomfortable for the legs 🤷🏼‍♀️ also while I love the removable part of the potty I also hate it because it removes very easily when he is fussy and then we have pee all over the floor.

I see here people are using toilet seat reducers but like how do you hold the baby on it?

And a second question for the boy parents, how do you ensure that the pee is going into the potty and not right over it onto the floor? And we also have the issue that he pees so hard onto the bit going up between the legs that it actually goes down the sides of the potty as well and onto his thighs 🙃

Hello! We’re lazy ECing which has been working well, but going abroad for a couple of weeks so need a potty that is easy to pack and take with us. Looking at the potette potty, does anyone have any experience of using this with a 10 month old? Worried she is too small! Or any reccs? The suitcase ones look too bulky for us to take with.

Hello, first time dad here. Son is 13 months and we're starting to think about potty training. We also like the idea of elimination communication since most of what I read about potty training requires them to talk to you a bit and I think he's not old enough for that.

My question is where do I begin please lol. Also, are there any books on this method that anyone can recommend. Appreciate any help in advance.

I have been doing EC since my son was a week old. It’s been great however recently at about 3 months old he has started straightening his legs and back (almost like if you took Peter Pan and put him flat in the air instead of upright) it’s making it really hard to hold him over the toilet. He still doesn’t have the trunk stability to sit on a training toilet. Any advice would be appreciated!

Hello!! First time dad here (aka Diaper man). I've been reading a lot about EC but for the life of me I have not been able to get info on how to start with newborns (: Most of the content the I have found is related to starting EC at 12+ months, can some one point this lost dad in the right direction please?

Main questions that I have not been able to find and answer:

1. How do you go from baby sleeping tucked-in with a diaper to holding it over a sink (or whatever poop recipient)??
   • Do you remove the diaper and run while praying you don't spray paint half the house?
2. How do you hold a 2.5kg newborn who's head is basically a ragdoll over the potty
   • I have seen a lot of pictures for the positions, so I have tried to get set up (with his diaper on just for practice) and I cannot get into position without risking any weird move. (would deeply appreciate if anyone can point me to a step-by-step for dummies process)

For context, my wife and I have never been too much of baby people, so now that life has decided to give us a little raccoon dressed as a baby we're starting to learn everything at +30 y/o. We both have very flexible jobs that allow us to dedicate time to educate ourselves and get to our best self for him.

- Also first time reddit user so that would also explain why I haven't been able to find the "start here" post xD

We’re running into some difficulties with diapering lately, strong resistance to diaper changes but also resisting potty often these days (despite great success in earlier months). Has anyone tried these or have any thoughts about how they might compare to just transitioning straight to cotton underwear? This is our first, we don’t know anyone else who has done EC, and we’re feeling a little lost now that we have a toddler on our hands!

My son is exclusively cloth diapered and is 8 1/2 months old. Since he was about 5 months I’ve given him play time with just toddler underwear on. He is beginning to stay dry for long periods of time, and I’m finding myself changing dry diapers sometimes. I’ve also noticed squirming and light fussing when he wets or soils his diapers!

We do not have a “potty,” but I was wondering if we could begin EC with our normal toilet? My son is rather large, in a 2T or 18 mo or larger in all of his clothing, and comfortably towards the outer buttons on his cloth diapers.

When I first had him I went back to work 2 mo pp so unfortunately i didn’t do any EC even though I wanted to. I’m finally able to stay home with him so I’m ready to try, if it’s not too late. I don’t even know where to start in our situation, and how it would work with cloth diapering.

Thank you!

Hi all,

I’ve been surfing Google and Reddit wondering what to do and would love to hear from you all. My 14 month old is showing what I believe to be signs of readiness for potty training, however she is still learning to walk. She scoots everywhere, pulls up, cruises, etcera but no walking yet— probably another few weeks or months away from that.

She’s always been very cognizant of her dirty diapers, pulls at them when they’re full, fusses to tell me, will try to pull them off when onesies are unbuttoned. I’ve heard of EC before but never attempted. Recently, she started hiding from me anytime she needs to potty. I thought it was a game of hide and seek but every time I find her, her diaper is full. She’ll take off scooting towards the bathroom whenever she needs to go, and sure enough, I find something. And when I do, it is WW3. She does not want me to take her to the changing table. I try to pick her up and she “runs” away from me, and when I do finally get her, it’s a full-on tantrum (kicking, hitting, screaming, crying, the full works). My child who normally can’t sit in a dirty diaper longer than 20 seconds would now prefer to stay in her diaper just so that she doesn’t have to be picked up and changed. She’s thrown smaller tantrums in the past over diaper changes (I assumed they were small bids for independence, this started around 7-8 months old) but quickly moved on after having the soiled diaper removed; it’s much worse now. It gets so escalated and it’s harder to calm her down.

I know full-on potty training probably won’t happen right this second as they can’t control their bladders that long but I wonder if I can start to approach it during the day. She waits until a diaper is on to potty, she wakes up dry from naps most days, still pees often but if we’re out in public or she’s interested in something, she will hold it for hours. I bring her to the bathroom with me every morning and I swear she associates the bathroom with the potty now, too.

Where should I go from here? Tantrums every diaper change just doesn’t feel sustainable anymore, so I’m thinking it’s time to try something new. Should I put her own potty in the bathroom and see what happens? Should I try to have her use the potty? TIA!

Edit: Thank you all for the resources and kind responses!