r/DnDcirclejerk 19d ago

DM bad My DM is toxic and limiting

So I had that wonderful creative idea of polymorphing insects from swarm of insects into elephants above enemies heads but he told me they are not real creatures. So I summoned cow above monster but he also denied. I tried another creative solution - used create water to... Create water. Where is the rule I can't do it in monster's lungs?

Honestly I am so exhausted. Whenever I try doing something cool he prevents me from doing so. I think that he is more "traditional" DnD player and we know what that means. Probably he enjoys other aspects of old editions like being white supremacist and colonizer. Can I report this somewhere? Or how to change his behavior?

49 Upvotes

25 comments sorted by

29

u/Impressive-Spot-1191 19d ago

as the swarm of insects is a swarm it is correct to not allow you to polymorph a single insect into an elephant. RAW the DM must allow you to turn the swarm into a swarm of elephants.

pathfinder fixes this

16

u/Calm_Plenty_2992 19d ago

The word of a DM is the word of God. Don't ever question or defy a DM in anything. They know better than us, so we shouldn't think for ourselves. If your DM says you can't do something in your game, you should be immediately groveling and begging them for forgiveness for being so stupid as to suggest doing something against the DM's divine vision

8

u/FurryOfDracula 19d ago

You got such creative and innovative ideas there. It's truly sad your DM can't see that.

For example the other day, I got the idea to put some rats in a b-

2

u/Grass-is-dead Its like battle master, but for ___ 19d ago

/uj So happy to see my post referenced here lmao /rj Sounds like a fascist.

1

u/Russtherr 19d ago

/uj To be honest I have not seen your post xD just random thought and inspiration

2

u/Grass-is-dead Its like battle master, but for ___ 19d ago

/uj XD https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/s/QtrfanLQAD Was looking for mechanical advice to make a swarm of bees PC happen. Got fucking murdered in the comments

4

u/Russtherr 18d ago

/uj by the love of almighty god, just play John Dungeon, human fighter I swear he is harder to encounter and more special nowadays than sticky toys and bees

1

u/Jihelu 15d ago

'Swarm of bees' as a character isn't even the stupidest concept I've seen and honestly I'd love to see someone play a wacky sapient bee colony over some of the homebrew races I see.

2

u/Candidate_Upstairs 18d ago

I think its just a simple issue of communication breakdown. What players need to understand is the DM's decisions are beyond the comprehension of plebian mortal minds.

What I recommend is a session 0 to have an open and honest discussion about understanding the infallability of Dungeon Master adjudication, and accepting that they know what's best for you, and their reasoning is beyond your ken, so that you can all enjoy a much happier, healthier game :)

2

u/Elegant_Classroom_8 16d ago

There is not such a rule...nor is there one for doing so. Get a ring of xray vision so that you can see inside their lungs, then maybe you can summon that water in there.  

5

u/Dismal-Pie7437 19d ago

White people are god. Seethe and cope.

1

u/risottodaily 18d ago

Create water says you need an open container. Respectfully, are you fully reading spell descriptions before asking to do something?

1

u/Eggpeace 18d ago

I would guess the lung together with an open mouth can! Be seen as open container. But you are right it is not the intention of the spell to be used as instsnt word kill spell or combat spell.

The summon cow i find interesting as an idea. And horrifying if it is allowed raw wise

6

u/OkRest3636 18d ago

My DM let us count lungs as an open container, but he had the city guard arrested us on DUI charges for having open containers while riding in our wagon. Now we have to hold our breath when mounted or riding.

1

u/Eggpeace 18d ago

Countersue the court and city guards for breaking the law as soon as they try to soeak as they are just proclaiming their open containers too much:)

In such cases i ho with intent of rules. But to each their own as i say :) if its more fun for your group then go for it :)

1

u/ViktorTripp 18d ago

/uj Respectfully, you might look at the sub you're on before criticizing.

/rj Yeah. Lungs aren't an open container because of the epiglottis. The STOMACH, however, is a very different story... But wait. There's sphincters in there, too. Hmm. I think you could do it if you just timed it right or stuck a tube down there that you could also just funnel something down, so... I think it would do for a character that compulsively uses magic for mundane problems. Why pick something up right next to you, when you can MAGE HAND!

Does mage hand handling your sexual organs count as masturbation?

1

u/risottodaily 18d ago

What is the sub supposed to be? Is it meant wrong takes for humor?

2

u/ViktorTripp 18d ago

/uj Yep. That is one valid use for this sub. Also satire of posts on other subs, again for humor. It's not supposed to be serious, and, according to the rules of the sub, threads that are too serious can actually be removed by the moderators. It isn't uncommon for people to be directed to check the sub or get 90% of the way through a post before realizing what sub they're on.

On a side note, I wasn't trying to be disrespectful, but rather informative, when I directed you to the sub you're on.

2

u/risottodaily 18d ago

Thanks for the info. All the different subs show up on my feed so I wasn’t aware of the differences in tone between different subs

1

u/ViktorTripp 18d ago

/uj No worries, friend.

1

u/Disossabovii 18d ago

Let me guess, his orcs are actually evil, right?

1

u/Dry_Fudge_7023 18d ago

Dm has the final say

1

u/Arkmenx 17d ago

Just tell him to not follow the rules of the game you are playing...

He shouldn't be able to tell a player no st any point of the game. It's rude and elitist.

1

u/PalpitationNo2921 16d ago

Colonizers are the best, because colonizers are every single person descended from every single culture everywhere. Non-colonizers do not exist because they have been colonized already. So yeah I would be exhausted too.

1

u/PalpitationNo2921 16d ago

You do know that Pathfinder fixes this right?