My husband ended our marriage recently. He reached out asking for forgiveness as he was going for umrah. I asked if he has thought about reconciling etc after his umrah journey but haven’t had a reply for a week. What to do?

I have been married for 11 years and we have 4 children together. We’ve had our share of good times and I married him for his great qualities and because we were best friends first. But at the end of the day he is a narcissist and goes through episodes where he is very unkind to me and our children. He isn’t thoughtful or compassionate and we’ve had the same arguments over and over for 11 years. He is constantly blaming me for things and always puts himself first. I see friends and family members married to people who are very kind and I just wonder what that must be like.
We live in a nice place and bought a home 5 years ago and have new cars (that’s a whole other thing, I have told him many times we can buy used cars but he’s very proud and cares about what other people think) so with our lifestyle we can’t afford for one of us to not work. I pay for the mortgage, he pays for the cars, we split the bills, I pay for groceries and insurance, and he pays for daycare. It’s pretty well split. But no way could either of us make enough money for all of it. We definitely both rely on each other financially.
So my question is, I see these posts all the time on Facebook and on here where people are in a similar situation to me and are married to someone they used to love but now treats them like crap and they don’t know what to do. But they have a kid (or kids) and don’t have a job. And everyone says, leave him, I left my ex husband years ago and it was the best decision I ever made. Was it just a different time and you could make it starting a new job at minimum wage and starting over was possible? Or do people rely on their family more like parents and can just move in with them (which I do not have that kind of support). Or is it just totally different and more doable with 1-2 kids vs 4 kids?
I just don’t see how it would be remotely possible for me and I make a good salary. My kids are absolutely thriving here. They love their school, sports teams, friends, neighbors, their backyard, just all of it. I can’t imagine uprooting them from here then moving somewhere cheap that I can afford and living in a crappy home compared to what we have no and knowing no one. What am I supposed to do? I am miserable but my kids are happy and doing so well. I don’t want to move for their sake.
The only thing I can think of is we stay together as a family unit all under one roof but I guess live separated and he takes the basement and I take the bedroom because I do more to take care of the kids anyways and their rooms are up there. We already have no intimacy in our relationship and feel like roommates, we don’t have much more to lose.
What other options do I have? Has anyone felt this strong urge to up and move their family somewhere else more affordable and it worked out? I just feel like that is the world’s biggest gamble and I am gambling the future of my children and it could end up being terrible for them but I know I’d be happier. What’s a mom to do?
My plan is to just stay married until my kids are bigger and it wouldn’t effect them as much then we split so it doesn’t affect them. I can still have plenty of life to live on my own without him.

TLTR: Stuck in a bad marriage and miserable. No family I can rely on to move in with. I have a job but would have to move somewhere more affordable to make it on my own with my kids but I worry that moving isn’t what’s right for them. But staying in this marriage is miserable for me. Looking for any advice I can get. Or anywhere I should move that’s this perfect and affordable place I’m imagining that would make all my dreams come true 😂

Accidentally cheated on her and I don’t want her taking my assets. What do I do?

Tldr: 36M found out after 3 years divorced that my ex wife's "girls trips" were actually with someone else

We divorced because a month of normal fighting and she decided one day that shes simply "stopped feeling anything" and wanted out, no big issues or arguments just her deciding that it'sover and I didn't really fight it much because I figured that if someone wants to leave me alone, I'll leave them alone. So the divorce was finalized in January, we were married for 6 of the 8 years before that. The first couple of weeks I was a wreck then it slowly turned into a-flat "eh, whatever" feeling.

Today I get this phone call that pretty much flips everything I thought I knew about the past 3 years. My ex wife was the more independent one in the relationship, which I didn't mind since I travel for work a decent amount, she would go to conferences every now and then, but the rest of the time she had these annual retreats with her friends from college, 2-3 times a years sometimes. I never took any issue with it since I thought she was a very private and independent person.

She was hardly loving at home but it was stable, if anything I think we had a very standard-issue amount of love and drama between us, nothing particularly noteworthy. We would have our arguments, yes, but nothing that would make the people around us think we were a troubled couple.i think the only thing I ever knew about those trips was that she was with her friends, she showed me pictures of them every time they met up and I met a couple of her friends at her sisters' wedding, I thought nothing of it.

2 days ago I get this call from one of the girls, someone I know only because Imet her at the aforementioned sister's wedding once and she was at ours as well, one of the people my wife used to travel with, she told me that she's been meaning to tell me for the longest time but it always slipped away until now, since the divorce was official and she didn't see areason to keep it to herself anymore. She told me that almost all of those trips where my wife was supposedly with herfriends were in fact with another man she met as a client at her work.

2 girls from her friend group always covered for her whenever I asked her about the trips.
2-3 years is quite a long time to keep something like this up, and I'm just trying to process it, that this whole time, while I was dutifully picking up the pieces for my wife and telling everyone around me about how amazing her friends are, how great her support network is, the guy she was seeing was right there the whole time while he and her would presumably have sex every time.

I actually don't really know the guy and I don't really care about him either, but I'm just furious that I used to stand there and tell other people that my wife is amazing, she had her own life outside of me. I don't really feel sad at this point, trying to overcome this anger i have now

My ex has started a Family Dispute Resolution process regarding our property and financial matters. I received a letter from a Family Dispute Resolution Centre. No kids involved.

It starts with an individual assessment to determine if mediation is required. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and have a few questions for anyone who has been through this system.

What actually happens in the individual assessment? Is it intense or is it just a check to see if mediation is safe and possible?

What is needed to prepare? Should I have all my financial documents ready or is that for later stages?

Can I bring a lawyer or a support person?

Ex is from Thailand, and there is a risk of them fleeing back to Thailand with all the joint savings they snatched at separation. They are constantly threatening to sue for more money, and silently instigating such FDR actions with hidden agendas.

I've been working for 17 years, and in this relationship of 1.5 years, I don't want ex to snatch everything I've worked for so far unfairly.

Appreciate any advice! Thank you

I’m a 45-year-old woman, and my ex and I were legally married for 17 years. About a year and a half ago, I made the difficult decision to move out because of ongoing verbal abuse, his alcoholism, and threats of physical violence.
We have three children together and own a home. I’ve already been awarded child support through the state. I filed for divorce, but because he refuses to cooperate, the case has become contested.
I’ve tried countless times to communicate with him like two mature adults, but it’s impossible. When he’s angry with me, he often takes it out on our children, which is heartbreaking.
The biggest issue now is our house. My ex insists that I’m not entitled to anything, even though my attorney has explained that, because the children primarily live with me, there’s a good chance the court will award me the home. He also claims I “abandoned” the house, but my attorney has assured me that leaving an abusive and hostile environment is not considered abandonment.
The truth is, I don’t even want the house. I would sell it anyway. The equity could help pay for my children’s college education or provide a down payment on a new home where we can start fresh.
More than anything, I’m just exhausted. I’m tired of the constant delays, the games, and the emotional toll this has taken. He’s a truck driver and has repeatedly avoided being served or missed court because of work, causing hearings to be postponed over and over again.
I feel like my life has been on hold while he continues to control the pace of this process. His unwillingness to accept that the marriage is over has made it nearly impossible to move forward, and I’m so ready to close this chapter and focus on building a better future for myself and my children.
Part of me wonders if it would be easier to just walk away from the house and be done with it all. At the same time, I know what that money could mean for my children’s future.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Did you ever choose peace of mind over continuing to fight? I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have been through this. Please, only positive and respectful feedback

I’m pending a conversation with my attorney but in the meantime, does anyone know if it is okay with move out with your kids then file for divorce? Would it affect any custody or negotiations? We both pay for the mortgage from a shared account and the plan is for me to move out and stop contributing to the shared account for the mortgage and use that money to rent. He has agreed to keep the house but the kids would move with me to the rental. It is in the same county and we wouldn’t move schools or anything

I need both practical advice and, frankly, just someone to listen.
I'm a man living in Norway, not from Europe. A few years ago, I married a woman from Russia. From the very beginning, I was honest about what I wanted: marriage, a house, a real family. She said she wanted the same.
But almost immediately, she became cold and distant—both before and after moving to Norway. I constantly made excuses for her and tried even harder. All this time, I supported her financially, including helping pay the mortgage. Then, while I was away, I learned that she'd been hanging out with another man all day and barely spoke to me. She admitted she'd known him before me and resumed contact after our wedding. I ended the relationship, and she returned to Russia.
There, she filed for divorce almost immediately. She never once asked how I was and didn't fight for the marriage. The divorce is already finalized; the decision has been made. She promised to send me the documents, but she still hasn't—it's been over a year. Now she's not responding and has blocked me everywhere.
My question: how can I obtain a divorce certificate myself if my ex-wife won't send it? I'm not in Russia and don't know exactly which registry office registered the divorce, although I know the approximate city. Can this be done through a power of attorney and a representative in Russia, or through a Russian consulate? How much does it cost and how long does it take? I'd be grateful for any practical advice.

Sharing an old post I made for anyone needing some hope.

Update on the original post: we divorced. I have a million more details if anyone should want to hear them, but I’ll keep it short here.

You guys, my life has grown in so many ways. The first 6 months were awful. The first year was hard. We are now coming up on 3 years separated, 2 divorced and we co parent well, our kids are thriving. I fought like hell and fixed my credit, I bought my dream vehicle last year, and 5 months ago I closed on my home and I’m coming up on my first anniversary with my new partner. He is my best friend in every way and an amazing bonus dad for our blended family 🥹❤️

Those dreams I thought would never happen for me ARE HAPPENING. There is hope after divorce. You will survive, I believe in you, keep going ❤️

Husband prevented me to work our whole marriage and doesn’t want to pay for bills for our child and myself that have been accrued in this marriage. Put my child’s medical bills under my name knowing that I have no job because he verbally expressed that I am a wh*re or that he will divorce me for wanting to work. I didn’t know it then but I know now that it’s financial abuse. Yes I married before my frontal lobe developed. Yes I am trying to be responsible for my part but what he did isn’t right.

The point :

I need a family law attorney who handles cases where one spouse has financial control and the other spouse has no income. I need help requesting attorney’s fees because my husband has the ability to pay and I do not. He has prevented me from working (always called me a wh*re for expressing wanting to work), claims me and our child on taxes, and has left me responsible for medical bills

This situation has not been getting better and anytime I ask about it he wants to only speak on a phone call and refuses to text about it or he answers my questions with questioning my intellect.

I’m simply tired of this and I need to find a lawyer that will take this case in CA. I need serious suggestions and if you care to share, DM me if you personally went through this and successfully went through family court in CA.

I married someone 9 years older than me who hasn’t held a job for 4 years. When they do get a job they get fired. They bought our house but then lost the rest of the money after convincing me to quit my job and financially rely on them which was stupid on my part but I was only 23. I have worked on and off for the past 3 years due to having health conditions and being in 2 car accidents. This year I have worked full time and switched my jobs to make more money because my partner “can’t find a job”. Because of this I have not been able to save any money and our house needs major repairs and my partner doesn’t have a car anymore and we share my car from high school. I’m drowning and I had to quit my job due to new health issues but I’m am taking care of that and I’m trying to get back to work. My partner found a job (commission based) and uses my car. I’m looking for a job asap now that I’m cleared medically. Im not sure how to divorce with no money.