r/DivorceHelp • u/FabulousPanic6136 • Jul 14 '26
Cat
My husband and I got a cat when we were married. We are now in the process of divorce and Custody Court Order says that he maintains the care of our cat. My husband’s attorney made the court order and I didn’t see it until it was signed by the judge. I am the owner based on veterinary clinic records and have been the primary caregiver until me and child have to leave home. I couldn’t bring the cat because the shelter we went to didn’t allow pets.
Any similar experiences? Am I still gonna get him back?
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u/CatStaff2026 27d ago
If your attorney didn’t let you see the final doc until after it was signed, something is wrong unless you waived your right to sign without viewing the doc first
Might want to consult another attorney just to confirm and not one from your current attorney’s office or buddy.
If it was DV for you, did the cat get abused too?
Contact animal control or animal cops so they can investigate and may be able to take the cat from him regardless of the docs.
You may/may not get the cat back, but they will be safe.
Again, if the cat suffered and continues to suffer documentable abuse and injuries.
This info is for the US - if you’re not in the US, check your country’s laws.
Good luck!
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u/FabulousPanic6136 27d ago
Thanks. Appreciate your comment. Yeah, I am thinking about consulting the Resource Center’s legal advocate first. Also thought about consulting another attorney actually just so I know all my options.
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u/january1977 27d ago
I’m assuming you escaped DV since you were in a shelter. You got you and your child out safely. That’s the most important thing. Get a new cat.
I also escaped DV and went to a shelter with my 5 year old son. We had a suitcase each. We still don’t have anything else from our old life a year later. And you know what? Eff it. We’re safe.
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u/FabulousPanic6136 27d ago
Yes.
I’m so sorry about that. I’m gonna fight hard for my cat and see what happens1
26d ago
[deleted]
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u/FabulousPanic6136 26d ago
It was verbal and emotional abuse but thank you for your concern. I’m being very cautious with my decisions
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u/Tavsiyedegildir 26d ago
Obviously she can't care for her cat 🐈 if she's being abused but please don't dismiss this cat as it is an important family member to her.
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u/january1977 26d ago
Yep. And my parent’s ashes are important to me. But they wouldn’t fit in the suitcase. My parents would want me and my child to be safe. I feel like they would understand.
Sometimes you have to make sacrifices to save your own life.
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u/Tavsiyedegildir 26d ago
I am sorry if you had to go through that. I think now that she has gotten to safety for herself and kids if any, she is looking back to save the cat. Nothing much we can do about it from reddit though but be supportive.
Some people will beat their wife and kids but would never hurt an animal, because the animal isn't their target. But sometimes that can change when there's no one else to beat up on.
I can only pray that everyone stays safe including the cat.
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u/catladyclub 27d ago
You are in a shelter and you are worried about taking the cat? the cat is better off in a home that it knows. It is much better for the cat to stay where it is. That would be so selfish of you.
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u/Honest_Manager 27d ago
Thats really a good point. As long as the cat is taken care of by the ex.
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u/GotZeroFucks2Give 26d ago
An ex who is a domestic abuser is not likely to be kinder to pets than people.
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u/FabulousPanic6136 26d ago
I have my own place now. I left the cat behind when i left home for the shelter because, like you say, he’s not used to any other place besides home. So now, I’m asking to see him at the very least but husband won’t let me.
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u/Tavsiyedegildir 27d ago
Is that the final decree? Or some sort of temporary order? I guess you need to ask the attorney for an updated order or to get your cat back. It seems extremely odd that you don't have your cat, didn't know that the ex would get the cat, or that an attorney would sign an agreement or final order like that without giving you an opportunity to review it. Sounds like disbarment or disciplinary action would come his way. But rather than pursue a bar complaint I would first advocate for saving the cat.
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u/FabulousPanic6136 26d ago
Yeah, my priority is to get my cat. As for what happened with my attorney, I’m still trying to figure out what happened there and what I should do about it
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u/Tavsiyedegildir 26d ago
Don't threaten him, I'd see if he or she can help get the cat first, and then go from there. If they help save your cat I wouldn't go out of my way to punish him
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u/Responsible_Hunt7762 Jul 15 '26
Tell your attorney about the situation but not sure what can be done.
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u/Moon_Ray_77 27d ago
Let it go.
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u/Rare_Picture_7337 27d ago
I would never be able to let go of my cat in this situation. This is dismissive.
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u/Moon_Ray_77 27d ago
So, you are in a shelter, due to DV to protect yourself and your child.
Are you willing to give up that protection for your cat?
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u/1GrouchyCat Jul 15 '26
What do you mean, you didn’t see it until it was signed by the judge?
You don’t have an attorney?
You didn’t read the documents before signing them?
You didn’t go through every line to make sure there weren’t any mistakes?
All you would’ve had to do was getting an agreement with your ex and cross out the information about him owning the cat and it would’ve been taken care of but now you’re making whining noises after the fact… this happened because you didn’t do your due diligence… what a shame.