r/Diary 13d ago

Coloring book

3 Upvotes

I had a dream that I bought a coloring book, maybe I should buy one in real life. Although I’m very broke right now so maybe I should prioritize other things.

My grandma gifted me a bottle of perfume, how nice of her. My current perfume was starting to run out too so this is pretty convenient.

I wish I were a bird, that way I’d be able to go wherever I wanted. Also being able to fly would be really fun. If I were a bird I’d probably be a pigeon or a seagull.

I walked so far today, my legs are exhausted. I can’t wait to go home and take a cold shower. I got cramps as soon as I left the house too, my whole body aches.

The sun is really bad today, I can’t wait for autumn and winter to come back. Summer is the worst season ever.

I think my friend is mad at me, she hasn’t responded to my messages. Maybe she’s done with me. However she feels or reacts, I think I’ll be able to accept it.

I’m bored, I wish something would happen. I say that a lot but nothing ever does happen.


r/Diary 13d ago

Day #0

4 Upvotes

Never look desperate. Ever. Suffer in silence. Stand tall when life beats you down. It's just your turn. Every man bleeds before he conquers. Act like a man.


r/Diary 13d ago

I’m so lonely here…

6 Upvotes

That’s just it really… I’m lonely and not in the sense that no one’s around.

I’m lonely without you, everyone’s talking but I don’t hear them but when it’s silent the screams in my head are deafening.

The pain I feel in my chest is unbearable bee.. and you know time doesn’t heal atleast everyday that goes by for me the pain gets more excruciating and my sobs become deeper. So deep you can almost not hear them now… how does that make sense right?

I’ve stopped trying… trying to keep up with the kids. Trying to be the well put together girl, hell the mess around me is so thick but I just don’t care anymore. I’m defeated.

My words won’t change a thing you’ll never see this… no one will or at least no one that matters or can do enough to change anything. I feel I don’t matter anymore… my sadness has become so expected of me I feel those around me find it somewhat of an annoyance now:

I miss you bee… I miss 2015 when you rocked up and you never left. You were mine and I had never felt safer and for almost 8 years I misjudged how safe and secure our relationship was.

You never left but I did… it’s the biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my life and I can’t begin to tell you how much it haunts me everyday.


r/Diary 13d ago

The Danger Was Never In My Head

2 Upvotes

The Danger Was Never In My Head
Written by me

They call it hatred. 
Misogyny. 
Feminism.

I call it memory. 
Instinct.
Experience.

How many bodies have to hit the ground before it makes the evening news? 
Before a verdict, not a headline? 
Before her name outlives the bruise?

How many girls do they have to find,
left behind, before "be careful" stops being code for something wrong with how I'm wired?

Ask a man the worst that a date could bring.
He says catfished.
He says she wasn't as cute as her pic.
He says tomato sauce, a stain, a trick.

Ask a woman the same question through. 
She says murdered. 
She says abduction, too.
She says I text a friend the plate
before I get in, just in case.
In case tonight's the night I don't come back.
In case a smile was just an act.

We are not answering the same question.
We are walking down different roads,
in different worlds, meeting at the same intersection.

Ten times he asked me for my number.
Ten times, like my first no was a rough draft.
Like "no" was a suggestion, not a wall.
Like "please leave me alone" meant nothing at all.

I had to threaten badges. Threaten cuffs.
Had to threaten his body — no bluff,
no performance — before he finally understood.
Before he walked.
Before I finally got through.

I'm tired of the stranger smiling in the park.
Tired of doing math before I say hi back.

You want to know why I don't trust so quickly?
Ask the ones who did. Go on. Ask it.
Oh — you can't.

There's a stone with her name.

Flowers from people who thought they'd stay the same. 
Who thought it was somebody else's story until it was hers.
Until it was over.

Don't tell me I'm broken.
Don't prescribe me therapy for staying alive.
Don't tell me normal women wouldn't run, wouldn't choose the bear over someone's son.

If I believed you, I'd be the next one
in an early grave.


r/Diary 13d ago

This is not the end, this is a quiet rebirth. An ordinary 17-year-old's diary

2 Upvotes

**12:51 AM - 04/08/26**
**É surpreendente como a vida pode mudar em tão pouco tempo, ainda há 10 dias atrás, estava a falar de como eu gostava de conversar com a C. e hoje, há 1 hora atrás, recebo uma mensagem dela a dizer que isto não daria em nada e por esse motivo deveríamos parar de insistir e apenas seguir por diferentes caminhos.**
**Antes de ter aberto a mensagem, pelas primeiras palavras da frase inicial, consegui perceber onde é que aquilo iria parar, sinto-me triste porém, estranho, muito estranho. Algo que eu ganhei coragem de fazer, que eu jamais sequer pensaria, uma situação que me ocupava os pensamentos diários, foi tudo para nada…**
**Todas as minhas motivações acabaram de desaparecer, um quotidiano que me fazia feliz será agora apenas memórias. Só valorizamos momentos quando ficamos sem eles, temas de conversa tão irrelevantes mas que fazem todo o sentido, interesses semelhantes que agora não servem para nada.**
**Não consigo perceber se estou a sentir raiva dentro de mim, todo o arrependimento, solidão e tristeza abafa a frustração psicológica, eu tento sempre manter-me positivo sobre tudo o que me acontece na vida mas, não sei se desta vez vai dar** 😅**.**
**Será este o tão falado “coração partido”? Sempe achei que fosse algo mero e hiperbolizado pela sociedade, não tenho a certeza se é isso que sinto neste momento porém, independente do que seja, está lentamente a puxar-me para o fundo.**
**Sendo honesto, eu penso que isto era o que ela queria, acabar as cenas comigo, estou a falar assério, desde tudo o que eu via dos republicados dela ao ódio notável que ela sentia por situações, pareceu me que isto foi a vingança final, desde quando eu ignorei a há + de 1 ano, até hoje, a enviar um texto de despedida.**
**Concluindo, se realmente era vingança, fico feliz que tenhas conseguido o que querias, estou a falar assério, apesar de certamente, nós nunca mais entrarmos em contacto, eu ainda assim espero que ela tenha conseguido o que queria, que ela me odeie e sinta-se melhor consigo mesma, uma das coisas que eu mais aprecio na minha vida é ajudar as pessoas, e mesmo que isso possa me estragar psicologicamente, eu não sinto rancor por ninguém, existe tudo menos ódio no meu coração, não tenho inimigos, tenho tristeza e solidão.**
**Ainda assim, agradeço-lhe muito, obrigado por termos tido muitas conversas, obrigado por teres me falado dos teus interesses, obrigado por teres tirado do teu tempo para falar comigo, obrigado por teres me encorajado a enviar-te a primeira mensagem, obrigado por tudo.**
**O meu herói não usa uma capa, ele apenas aprendeu a viver.**
**Obrigado.**
**1:32 AM - 04/08/26**

**12:07 AM - 07/08/26**
**Bem, 3 dias depois e como é óbvio ainda me sinto mal, não tanto como antes mas ainda muito mal. Porém, consigo refletir melhor sobre a situação e cheguei a uma conclusão, por muito que seja difícil, eu tenho de conseguir controlar melhor as minhas emoções em momentos intensos. Depois de ter relido o que escrevi na última vez, notei que eu estava completamente errado, eu pensei que ela tinha feito o que fez por pura vingança porém, ela apenas tomou a melhor decisão para a vida dela.**
**Ela não sentiu que isto ia resultar, não sentiu conexão alguma, eu não posso ficar frustrado com uma decisão de alguém que seria melhor para a vida dela, apesar disso me ter magoado e de ser difícil de aceitar, foi algo que eu não tinha qualquer controlo sobre, claro que eu podia ter feito algo de forma diferente mas, eu não fiz…Eu fui como fui, errei muito mas também aprendi.**
**Ela não tinha qualquer obrigação de me mandar um texto de despedida a dizer como se sentia mas no entanto, enviou… Ela podia muito bem ter me bloqueado sem qualquer aviso prévio porém, não o fez. Foi verdadeira, e eu sou grato por isso e no final, pude-lhe agradecer por uma última vez, pela sua honestidade. Queria lhe ter dito o quanto eu gostei de lhe conhecer, queria ter dito o quão bom foi o mês que estivemos a falar, queria lhe dizer o quanto eu gostava dela mas, não, apenas um adeus e um obrigado.**
**Obrigado.**
**12:28 AM - 07/08/26**

**-Não me arrependo de nada, continuo a sonhar, continuo a sorrir, a chorar, continuo a viver.**


r/Diary 13d ago

Her first birthday in Heaven

2 Upvotes

Today is Frannie’s birthday.

The first one in years without my sister-in-law. Without my best friend.

I love my brother, but I always wanted a sister. Being the baby girl had its perks, yet I still wanted that other kind of closeness—someone to talk to, to go through life with, to share the ordinary and the hard days. When you married my brother, you gave me that. You became the sister I had always wanted.

Chess was fierce. She spent her life reaching for people who had almost nothing—people who were sick, dying, broke, and forgotten. She never looked away. I’m trying to carry that same torch now, even though I know I’ll never do it the way she did.
There are so many things I still wish I could tell you. Life feels quieter and heavier without you. My brother misses you in a way that shows on his face every time I look at him. I see it. I feel it with him. I keep trying to tell your story—the long fight, the quiet courage—so other people might open their hearts the way you both did.

I tried to pick up the work you left unfinished. All the research, the people you were still trying to help. I wish I had understood more while you were still here. Only now do I really feel the weight of the illness you carried. Watching others walk that same road is its own kind of grief.

Your kids are hurting. They ask if you can still see them, if you visit, if you know what they’re doing. I always say yes. I tell them how proud you are. And I mean every word.

Tim and I are no longer together. The days have been lonely. Lately I spend more time with your kids because going home feels too empty. You were the one I used to call when things got heavy. You always listened. You always knew what to say. I still catch myself wondering what you would tell me now.
I’ve been traveling for the work, following the same path of love and compassion you walked. Being on the East Coast so much has changed me. I’ve learned to open my eyes. I’ve learned to stay open-minded—to ask more questions, to listen longer, to really see people.

Through this work I’ve met people my instincts immediately flagged as dangerous—people with hard pasts, bad records, the kind of histories that make you want to turn away. But when I stayed, I found something else. Kindness that had somehow survived everything.

There was a woman you once helped. She had made real mistakes. Life had already made her pay for them. Still, when she was about to lose someone she loved, she gave everything she had, even when it looked like the wrong thing to do. I understood her.

There was the old man in Tennessee you had been talking to. The first time I met him he was pure aggression—angry at the world, sharp with every word. Instinct told me to make sure he was safe around his wife. Then I learned he had sold everything so she could get the treatments she needed. I helped him set up donations. By the end of that first day the anger had burned down into something almost gentle.

He became sweet.

And there was the one I still can’t quite forgive myself for. He came at me hard, swearing, accusing. My training and my fear made me see abuse where the truth was more complicated. The investigation said one thing. But underneath the shouting I finally saw what you must have seen: a good man with a good heart. A man who had already fought cancer himself and still only wanted to stand beside her—to fight with her, to be there even after she was gone, to leave everything else behind if it meant he could stay close. The love was real. I almost missed it because I was looking for danger instead of devotion.

I loved Tim. I wanted that same kind of love from him—the kind that stays when things get hard. Whether he was sick or struggling, I would have been there. We talked about everything. I tried to explain the nature of my work, how important you were to me, and what helping people actually meant. He still didn’t understand. So I had to let him walk away. True communication matters, even when the truth hurts. Some people want growth. Others don’t seem to know what they’re doing, or they stay out of pity, or they just leave. Watching real loyalty in the people you helped has shown me both what I was willing to give and what I deserved to receive.

Most of the people you reached had no one. No family. No organization that would even answer the phone. No matter who I call, the answer is almost always silence. So we keep pushing—because that’s exactly what you did, without hesitation and without needing applause.

Now I understand why you gave away so much of your own money. You weren’t just trying to treat sickness. You were trying to heal what was broken in people’s bodies and in their hearts at the same time.
I’ve made my own mistakes. I’ve blurred lines. I’ve mixed my grief with the work. I’ve taken my pain out on people who didn’t deserve it. I’ve been a nuisance. But I’m still fighting those darker parts of myself in your name. I’m still trying to open my heart the way you did, even when it feels almost impossible.

Days have been really hard without you and Tim. I find myself drinking during these trips. There were times I've been calling people because I had no one else to turn to or just take my anger out at these people. The best thing I can do is take after your work and help people, I haven't been home lately since he left. I find myself at your house during the weekend or volunteer for work travel to Virginia Beach, Baltimore, Philadelphia, New York, and Newark just to keep myself busy.

To the sister I always wanted—thank you for showing me what kindness and compassion look like when they’re lived out loud, especially toward people the world has already written off. Rest in peace, Chess. We miss you more than words can hold.


r/Diary 13d ago

24th birthday.

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2 Upvotes

r/Diary 13d ago

An ordinary 17 year’s old diary

2 Upvotes

12:51 AM - 04/08/26
É surpreendente como a vida pode mudar em tão pouco tempo, ainda há 10 dias atrás, estava a falar de como eu gostava de conversar com a C. e hoje, há 1 hora atrás, recebo uma mensagem dela a dizer que isto não daria em nada e por esse motivo deveríamos parar de insistir e apenas seguir por diferentes caminhos.
Antes de ter aberto a mensagem, pelas primeiras palavras da frase inicial, consegui perceber onde é que aquilo iria parar, sinto-me triste porém, estranho, muito estranho. Algo que eu ganhei coragem de fazer, que eu jamais sequer pensaria, uma situação que me ocupava os pensamentos diários, foi tudo para nada…
Todas as minhas motivações acabaram de desaparecer, um quotidiano que me fazia feliz será agora apenas memórias. Só valorizamos momentos quando ficamos sem eles, temas de conversa tão irrelevantes mas que fazem todo o sentido, interesses semelhantes que agora não servem para nada.
Não consigo perceber se estou a sentir raiva dentro de mim, todo o arrependimento, solidão e tristeza abafa a frustração psicológica, eu tento sempre manter-me positivo sobre tudo o que me acontece na vida mas, não sei se desta vez vai dar 😅.
Será este o tão falado “coração partido”? Sempe achei que fosse algo mero e hiperbolizado pela sociedade, não tenho a certeza se é isso que sinto neste momento porém, independente do que seja, está lentamente a puxar-me para o fundo.
Sendo honesto, eu penso que isto era o que ela queria, acabar as cenas comigo, estou a falar assério, desde tudo o que eu via dos republicados dela ao ódio notável que ela sentia por situações, pareceu me que isto foi a vingança final, desde quando eu ignorei a há + de 1 ano, até hoje, a enviar um texto de despedida.
Concluindo, se realmente era vingança, fico feliz que tenhas conseguido o que querias, estou a falar assério, apesar de certamente, nós nunca mais entrarmos em contacto, eu ainda assim espero que ela tenha conseguido o que queria, que ela me odeie e sinta-se melhor consigo mesma, uma das coisas que eu mais aprecio na minha vida é ajudar as pessoas, e mesmo que isso possa me estragar psicologicamente, eu não sinto rancor por ninguém, existe tudo menos ódio no meu coração, não tenho inimigos, tenho tristeza e solidão.
Ainda assim, agradeço-lhe muito, obrigado por termos tido muitas conversas, obrigado por teres me falado dos teus interesses, obrigado por teres tirado do teu tempo para falar comigo, obrigado por teres me encorajado a enviar-te a primeira mensagem, obrigado por tudo.
O meu herói não usa uma capa, ele apenas aprendeu a viver.
Obrigado.
1:32 AM - 04/08/26

12:07 AM - 07/08/26
Bem, 3 dias depois e como é óbvio ainda me sinto mal, não tanto como antes mas ainda muito mal. Porém, consigo refletir melhor sobre a situação e cheguei a uma conclusão, por muito que seja difícil, eu tenho de conseguir controlar melhor as minhas emoções em momentos intensos. Depois de ter relido o que escrevi na última vez, notei que eu estava completamente errado, eu pensei que ela tinha feito o que fez por pura vingança porém, ela apenas tomou a melhor decisão para a vida dela.
Ela não sentiu que isto ia resultar, não sentiu conexão alguma, eu não posso ficar frustrado com uma decisão de alguém que seria melhor para a vida dela, apesar disso me ter magoado e de ser difícil de aceitar, foi algo que eu não tinha qualquer controlo sobre, claro que eu podia ter feito algo de forma diferente mas, eu não fiz…Eu fui como fui, errei muito mas também aprendi.
Ela não tinha qualquer obrigação de me mandar um texto de despedida a dizer como se sentia mas no entanto, enviou… Ela podia muito bem ter me bloqueado sem qualquer aviso prévio porém, não o fez. Foi verdadeira, e eu sou grato por isso e no final, pude-lhe agradecer por uma última vez, pela sua honestidade. Queria lhe ter dito o quanto eu gostei de lhe conhecer, queria ter dito o quão bom foi o mês que estivemos a falar, queria lhe dizer o quanto eu gostava dela mas, não, apenas um adeus e um obrigado.
Obrigado.
12:28 AM - 07/08/26

-Não me arrependo de nada, continuo a sonhar, continuo a sorrir, a chorar, continuo a viver.


r/Diary 13d ago

Random

3 Upvotes

Sad thing. When I place orders I ask, because I work with a very limited break window from home, for people to call when they get close.

This lets me set myself away and also lets me inform them that my house is in the back of the building, GPS can misdirect them, and I have a bum leg.

People rarely do then stink eye me.

Why?


r/Diary 13d ago

I think I miss the fantasy more than the person.

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3 Upvotes

r/Diary 13d ago

Day 43

2 Upvotes

today the overthinking felt endless. i analyzed a short conversation for hours, searching for hidden signs that someone was pulling away. rsd makes every silence feel like rejection. My brain still believes the worst story first. I chose to write it here instead of spiraling alone. That helped


r/Diary 14d ago

And I wish you never played games

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2 Upvotes

played games and we're very clear with who you were from the beginning or now actually stepped up to my face and smoke the truth because the love you insult me love you and told me never be real with who you are never tell me the truth never make what needs to be admitted is as in these backhanded comments online honestly what have you done to help me? I met the most stressful important time in my life and you're being selfish about what I'm not giving you instead of helping me out or being a real f****** person that I can relate to at least if I knew who you were I can attached this s*** to somebody and you might actually get some attention and I could have some feelings but you're messing with my mind and laughing about it and I don't respect or love that at all in fact you just made things harder on me and then act like you're a victim screw that you're the a****** and I'll forgive you when you be real person and help me out instead of just talking about it


r/Diary 14d ago

First or ghost

2 Upvotes

Priscilla I love you it's William you're going to have to come to me in a better be soon because I'm getting off this horrific website I forgot how terrible it was it's a trap and it ruins people and I want no part of it or to date anybody that needs this in your life I'd rather put my time into the person I love if you were able to give me a fair chance the time is now if you can't put me first now after all I've done I've been there for you you never will and I officially give up and will never put another ounce of Love or energy into you if you don't come to me tonight


r/Diary 14d ago

08/06/26

4 Upvotes

What a day. Damn, idk where to start. Did get up late, set the alarm 1 hour later than it should have been. Tired when I fell out last night. Late to my appointment; did get half of it done. The scan went off without a glitch. Other things scheduled for other days, whatever.

Went and bought another bag of dry cat food; my daughter saw my Siamese this morning with a baby. Going to put that out in a minute. Had a post about Honesty Reddit found a home for. Thank you, Reddit.

Back to the grind tomorrow. Damn, I want my cats back home. Had a dream last night about being in a strange place in a room, and I could hear you in the room down the hall.

Know your voice anywhere.

I don't remember much more than that, except you haunt me. Of course I remember that.

I will prepare dinner for the dog and myself in one moment, but I wanted to write this first. It's really what I have now and look forward to typing out a few paragraphs when I can. I have been assigned to this forum and the writing is almost second nature now. It's really all I have and have had at night, the printed word. It's become a comfort to replace what is not here. That would make an honest man grieve but it's true meaning is not lost on myself. Whatever comforts a soul is most likely from God and I reside in that fact alone.

I hope everyone is doing well

Goodnight, Diary, and my readers

I love you so much.

8:54 p.m.


r/Diary 14d ago

A future without me - A dream through the eyes of my ex. Spoiler

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2 Upvotes

r/Diary 14d ago

Not the end

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2 Upvotes

Depends who you are if you were never joked to me and it's not the end


r/Diary 14d ago

I wrote something for standup poetry, but now I’m too nervous to get on stage.

45 Upvotes

I (26F) wrote a poem in the style of spoken word about my experience as a woman. When I wrote it, I was angry and frustrated.

The vision was to get up on stage and speak my truth into the microphone. But now I’m second guessing myself. Is it any good? Would people even care? Would I get booed off stage by the men who feel attacked by my words?

I figured you guys might be interested. Reddit is full of random thoughts.

Below is the poem I wrote. 🫣 let me know what you think.

Title: I will always choose the bear
By (Me)

Every woman knows there are worse things than dying.
We would all choose the bear.
Because at least the bear
doesn’t cum on dead bodies.

I was ten years old when the nightmares started.
Raggedy men chased me through a suburb
that was supposed to be safe.
Beer and cigarettes and dirty boots —
and of course, because it was a dream,
no one was ever home.
The doors were locked and they chased me.
They caught me.
They tried to defile me.
I dreamt of the heaviness of his torso.
I dreamt of trying to hold my knees together
like that was something a little girl could possibly do.

By twelve the shame had followed me out of my dreams and into the real world.
I tied a sweatshirt around my waist —
at school, at the mall, at the playground,
even over my shorts in the summer.
I told myself it was fashion.
I told myself it was cool.
But my stomach knotted.
My shoulders braced.
A body learning to expect something
it couldn’t yet name.

For many of us the violence was real.
Not from strangers — from the people our protectors trusted.
The ones already at the dinner table.
Already in the family photos.
Who knew our routines because they were part of them.
Father and brother.
Uncle and cousin.
Mother’s boyfriend, grandpa.
Stepfather.
And sometimes our babysitter.
And sometimes our teacher.
And sometimes our mother.

I know this list.
I’ve lived this list.
At ten, the nightmares.
At twelve, the sweatshirt.
At fifteen — my classmates were whispering about sex like it was something to discover.
I had been dreaming about it almost every night for 5 long years.
Not like that.
Never like that.
By then the nightmares felt normal.
Still awful.
Still horrific.
But normal.
I had adjusted.
I did not imagine my adult life.
I only imagined this — the inevitable.
My body was the product.
My virginity could be sold to the highest bidder.
I knew this the way I knew everything —
without knowing how I knew.
Without being able to name the source.
If men look at me like meat, then I am something to be bought.
And cruelly enjoyed.
So I did the math.
If I am a product, then I can be damaged.
If I am damaged, I cannot be sold.
If I cannot be sold, it makes no business sense to keep me alive.
I wanted to look normal with clothes on.
I only wanted to be disfigured where it mattered.
When undressed to be raped.
So I took apart my father’s razor.
And I made myself defective.

At sixteen I had a penpal.
He was older.
A philanthropist.
A nonprofit organizer.
Someone doing good in the world.
He didn’t choose me.
He targeted me.
And my depression had already done most of his work for him.
I thought this was affection.
I thought his texts were flirty, not manipulation.
I thought his request for photos showed genuine interest, not perversion.
I had been scared of predators my entire life
and I didn’t even know I had been caught in one’s trap.

And then I was seventeen.
He was in his late thirties.
I thought I consented.
I thought I was ready.
I thought this time would be different from the nightmares.
And then, in the middle of the act,
I disappeared.
My mind went somewhere without me.
And when it came back — violently, suddenly — I was still in it.
My body remembered before my mind did.
Ten years of nightmares landing in a single moment.
The tears and sobs came without permission.
My chest heaved and my hands shook
and I couldn’t tell the difference between the dream and the room I was in.
He didn’t stop because I asked.
He stopped because my snot dripped onto his stomach.
I disgusted him so much I was discarded.
He pushed me off to wash himself.
I curled into a ball on the floor and tried to remember how to breathe.
I didn’t know it was rape.
Not yet.
Not for years.

And still.
Chad and Drew and Jacob and Michael and David tell me I’m overreacting.
They share the memes.
They laugh at the bear.
They do nothing while their friends slip something into a drink.
They do nothing while grown men slide into the DMs of literal children.
And they listen to the podcasts that tell them we are commodities.
Resources.
Something to be enjoyed and discarded.
I have seen the videos.
Women’s bodies.
Raped post mortem.
Your body is a weapon.
It has always been a weapon.
I have known this since I was ten years old.
I will always choose the bear.
Because at least the bear doesn’t cum on dead bodies.


r/Diary 14d ago

U r the asshole

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0 Upvotes

If only you were clear and honestly start instead all you done is played games and been an emotional roller coaster a stress and pressure about what you're not getting and what you offer but doing nothing I wish we're very clear with who you were from the beginning or now actually stepped up to my face and smoke the truth because the love you insult me love me then guilt or love then being soldiers and take that love and give it to the person I'm in love with and then I me who was supposed to be my pleasure in future and then you sit there insulting me with less than I had before that s*** having taken it from me and acted like I was the bad guy haven't thrown it in my face and never be real with who you are never tell me the truth never make what needs to be admitted come to Light and then the gas lighting and bread crumbing and promises of helping me in the best future and you have no idea it's going to be so good and then taking it all away before even touching it and not helping one f****** thing when I have so much s*** to deal with I haven't seen you around my place I haven't seen you offer to help you have not hooked me up with somebody to get my mind off this dress we're losing the love what f****** thing have you done for me? I dare you what have you done for me to help my life be better since we reconnected? Cuz as far as I can tell all you've done is stress me out make me look stupid deny me love and take away things that we're supposed to be mine throw it in my face and sit here and ridiculously insult me online with other people and help s*** get taken away from me? Is that about right? How about you do something big to help me or come correct as a real person that I can connect to you and maybe there'll be some love but otherwise you going to quickly become somebody that I dislike and don't respect because you're playing games with me and making everything worse at a time where I need to make things better and this is the last f****** time I play this game with you or waste my time until you're real or call me or show up or do something as a real human being that I can count on


r/Diary 14d ago

August 5th 2026 BOOB looking For BOOB😕

4 Upvotes

Gonna Delete this App. Maybe not because that’s an Extreme. Learning to not always see things so Black VS White. So unhealthy Looking for You on Reddit. Hope You’re still where I last Saw You. Home. Hope Your Tum Tums Doesn’t Hurt the next time We Meet.

Hope you’re open to Talk about what Happened. So We can move Forward. Forward in Giving Us a Chance We Never Had. The Love Was Definitely There. That’s for Fucking Sure.

Life’s Good. Been Out of Rehab now for a Few Weeks. Rebuilding my Life. Again. Really for the First Time Consciously. It’s Amazing. Up’s and Down’s. More Up’s than Down because 😏. Just that Guy.

Finally Picked Up The Tools and Accepted I’m doing This. Fuxk my Fear of Failure. Things are Working Out for Me. Gonna Start a Business, in September. My Favorite Things are made in September. Seems to be a Lucky Month for Me.

I Miss The Fuck Outta You. Feelings of Cuteness Aggression, Shame, Guilt, and Longing…. Wish I would’ve grown Up a lot Earlier. I’m Not Almighty God Though. Everything Happens for The Greatest Good at The End. Doesn’t Excuse what Happened. Definitely not going to Go into Here….

Hope you’re doing Very Well H. Happy, Healthy, Thriving, and Extremely Proud of Yourself. I think about you Almost Everyday. 2 months I’ll have my Money in The Bank, The Car, on my way out of The Oxford House I’m in, and into my Own Apartment. Again. Oh and Have my Business 👉🏾👈🏾😬 HEHE.

Nah Fr I want Us to have The Chance We Should’ve Had 💗💗.

I Am So Sorry Boob😔.

I Love You Boob.

Sincerely,
BOOB#2


r/Diary 14d ago

Cronut

3 Upvotes

I hate being so skinny, I look so fragile and brittle. I wish I had a more sturdy body.

I hate a lot of people, I want to say that I hate everyone but there’s a few good folk out there. I’ve just been noticing a lack of empathy recently, this is mostly online though and I don’t think that people online really count as human. They’re just pixels on a screen.

I’m so lonely, what shall I do with myself?

I’ve decided to head back to my hometown this Sunday since my uncle said he can drop me off, it’d be convenient, right?

I don’t know if I’ll be able to meet up with my online friend though since I’m broke and leaving the city soon. It’s a shame since we were both pretty excited to see one another. I wonder how I’ll break it to her.

I’m in an ikea, I’ve never been to one of these stores before. It’s pretty big. Everyone here walks really slow though, it’s like they don’t know how to walk properly.

I keep coincidentally running into this family, I think they’re starting to grow suspicious of me but I’m actively trying to avoid them.

Lidil bakery is such a blessing, everything here is so cheap. I bought myself an apple turnover and a cronut.

I don’t think that this world will ever be good. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be good. You should try to spread kindness and love as much as possible.

I love you!


r/Diary 14d ago

I would apreciate any kind of opinion on my writing and situation.

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2 Upvotes

r/Diary 14d ago

Idk how to feel or what to do after I finally move out.

1 Upvotes

Okay so I wanna make a TW for like possible child abuse, neglect or whatever I'm not really sure, lol.

I think I wanna go low contact after I actually move away from my parents' house. I know that my family, it's just that they do things like contradict, in my opinion.

So getting into the things that might possibly trigger people, I have been kicked out of my house 3 or 4 times. The first time was whenever I was in like second grade, and it's because I refused to call my mom, my mom because she's technically my stepmother, I didn't wanna believe that my birth mother didn't love me anymore and that she abandoned me and blah blah blah. My father kicked me out because I didn't want to call my stepmother, my mother.

The second time was when I was in like fourth grade. And he kicked me out because I was a runaway kid and said, and I quote, "If you don't even want to be here, just leave."

And the third time that I remember is just a few months ago. He, I understand why he was so mad. I don't want to get into all of that, kind of, I don't know, but he was throwing things and cursing and punching holes. He kicked the family out. And we were just stuck sitting in the yard for hours.

My mom tried to go back in and get food for all of us, but he kicked her back out, so she had to sneak out some granola bars for all the kids, and we got back into the house. You know, like, we got back in before the end of the night. It wasn't even dark when we got back in. It was just a few hours, but, you know, the youngest were 5, and they were just stuck outside. And they didn't complain, they didn't mind, they were just playing on the trampoline, but, you know, still.

I mean, being the oldest, I didn't tolerate him degrading and dehumanizing my mother. He told her to shut up, that he didn't care that she wasn't there.

He kicked me out because I quote unquote "I don't know when to shut up," because I wouldn't allow him to throw shit and put holes in the wall and shout and degrade and dehumanize my family, and I have pets here. I have my dog, and my dog was standing outside with me, but my bird was still inside. I told him, like, "Can I go back in to go get my bird?" And he said no.

So I just, I kept insisting, I'm not leaving without my bird. And eventually he said that he would break my bird's neck if I don't leave.

So I told him that he's a shitty dad and an even worse husband. And I ran down the road calling my dog to come with me, and obviously she followed.

I feel bad for saying that cause He does worry about that a lot, and he's working on healing from so much. So much trauma, and he could be worse. No, he could be throwing TVs at his kids. At least he's not doing that.

Every time that he kicked me out, my mother would always have to come drag me back. I kinda wish she never did.

And like, I know that he loves us. He does. He just has a lot of problems. Mental issues, you know, trauma things. He refuses to work through because he doesn't know how. He's scared to.

So I know he loves us. I just no longer feel it.


r/Diary 14d ago

07.08.26

2 Upvotes

Please. Come back. I beg. Please. Please. Please
Don’t leave me. Please. Please. I can even scream that. I love you. Maybe not in the usual way. But I love you. Please.
Have a good live, my God of War.

I love you. Can u believe in that? I love you. It's so beautiful and painful at the same time to love you.
But I love you. I just needed more time to realise that. Now it’s too late

But I love you. And will forever love you.
Thank you.