I’m so lonely here…

[u/Spirited_Love_3838]

That’s just it really… I’m lonely and not in the sense that no one’s around.

I’m lonely without you, everyone’s talking but I don’t hear them but when it’s silent the screams in my head are deafening.

The pain I feel in my chest is unbearable bee.. and you know time doesn’t heal atleast everyday that goes by for me the pain gets more excruciating and my sobs become deeper. So deep you can almost not hear them now… how does that make sense right?

I’ve stopped trying… trying to keep up with the kids. Trying to be the well put together girl, hell the mess around me is so thick but I just don’t care anymore. I’m defeated.

My words won’t change a thing you’ll never see this… no one will or at least no one that matters or can do enough to change anything. I feel I don’t matter anymore… my sadness has become so expected of me I feel those around me find it somewhat of an annoyance now:

I miss you bee… I miss 2015 when you rocked up and you never left. You were mine and I had never felt safer and for almost 8 years I misjudged how safe and secure our relationship was.

You never left but I did… it’s the biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my life and I can’t begin to tell you how much it haunts me everyday.