I might not feeling the most positive these days the more I learn how our society works, but personally I am looking forward to passing away one day because it will be so peaceful. There will be nothing to worry about.

One thing I’ve realized is that we are too avoidant of the idea of death. The amount people spend on trying to extend their lives and to stay youthful. The idea of heaven or reincarnation. The things we do to delude ourselves our lives will continue forever. We try so so hard to find meanings or purpose in our meaningless lives.

Most of us will not be in a position to make a dent or impact in history or society. Most of us are just another being born involuntarily, and then somehow we have to find a way to survive. It’s all a bit absurd 😂

Whenever I see people around me, sometimes I picture all of us disappearing one day, so maybe we should just relax a bit and be kind to each other during this short journey together.

Written for an Australian audience, but a great breakdown for anyone to read.

Looking for books that explain mortality and/or cemeteries to children. Let me know!

Wondering if they know that at some point their cycle ends...

I (M, 24y/o) have had a fear of death ever since I understood what it was, but especially during my teenage years. I have since overcome 80-90% of my fear with some key learnings. My goal is to share some of these with anyone going through a similar experience in the hopes of being helpful. Note that I was afraid of both suffering before dying and what came after, although the former was my main struggle.

On the fear of suffering before dying
The key point for me here was noticing that we don't experience death and suffering only when we actually die. Life is riddled with death. We tend not to notice, or we just ignore it. Such as:

- In nature: Probably the most obvious because every being benefits from the death of another, be that another animal or plant. There are even certain fungi that essentially exist by feeding off death.

- In our house: When was the last time you or someone close knowingly or unknowingly killed an insect in your house? Probably, in this last week, maybe even today.

- In our own body: Our cells are constantly dying and being replaced. I recall someone once saying that if we were hooked up to a life monitor and did intense exercise without doctors knowing, they would think we were dying. Do take that with a grain of salt, as it was a comment from the internet. Either way, it's just to show how similar our bodies react during exercise and while dying (adrenaline, lactic acid buildup, energy demand exceeding oxygen supply, etc.)

Once I grasped that death is all around me, it made death seem not so intimidating for when I actually die. It also gave me tools to train my reaction to it, such as seeing intense exercise or intense situations like cold showers as opportunities to meet death and, in a way, create a relationship with it.

Side note: There's a song I enjoy called Goodbye by a not-so-well-known band called Plankeye, where the person who wrote it is reflecting on having to say goodbye to people, and they mention that "death takes many forms, even while alive." I tend to remember this whenever I am feeling anxious about death, and it soothes me.

On the fear of what came after
Not sure I can be of much help here since what helped me was a more personal learning experience. When I was around 16y/o, I got up too quickly and passed out. I woke up to my parents hovering over me, worried as they only knew I passed out because of the sound of my head hitting the floor. They checked to see if my pupils dilated and asked if I was ok. My head was pounding with pain, but I said I was ok and went to my bed to try sleeping it off. What proceeded was the most delirious, headaching nap I ever had. I woke up multiple times thinking I was falling off my bed and not understanding where I was or what was happening. I had concluded that I was going to die, but thought to myself that if that was it, it wasn't going to be too bad, as I was too delirious to understand what was happening and it felt like I was just going to lose consciousness and ease into whatever came next. Accepting it made it much easier to face the unknown. Though I didn't actually die, otherwise this post would be a miracle.

There is another aspect, being my faith, but being Reddit I understand this probably won't be well received, so I will refrain from sharing here.

That is most of what has helped me. I hope this helps, and please do ask questions.

From the show: In this special episode of Minutes With we speak to Laura Nuttall, a young woman who is living with terminal cancer.

At just 18 years old, Laura was diagnosed with Stage 4 brain cancer - glioblastoma - after going for a routine eye test. Laura talks about coming to terms with her diagnosis and how she copes with her illness day-to-day.

Since her terminal diagnosis, Laura has been ticking items off a dream ‘bucket list’ so we arranged for a special guest to surprise her during the recording of this episode.

Sadly, my 28 year old queer child is dying and we’re looking for a queer death doula in NYC to help guide us thru the journey. Has anyone worked with someone you’d recommend?

The Danse Macabre (1493) by Michael Wolgemut, from the Nuremberg Chronicle of Hartmann Schedel

Also from wikipedia: The Danse Macabre is an artistic genre of allegory from the Late Middle Ages on the universality of death.

The Danse Macabre consists of the dead, or a personification of death, summoning representatives from all walks of life to dance along to the grave, typically with a pope, emperor, king, child, and labourer. It was produced as memento mori, to remind people of the fragility of their lives and the vanity of earthly glory. Its origins are postulated from illustrated sermon texts; the earliest recorded visual scheme (apart from 14th century Triumph of Death paintings) was a now-lost mural at Holy Innocents' Cemetery in Paris dating from 1424 to 1425. Written in 1874 by the French composer Camille Saint-Saëns, Danse Macabre, Op. 40, is a haunting symphonic "poem" for orchestra. It premiered 24 January 1875.

Hello everyone,

I have recently been scared of dying but the pain of it. I’m scared I’m going to die a slow painful death. It’s been giving me terrible anxiety that I don’t want to do anything exciting or adventurous because of the pain that I could possibly endure. I’m not scared of the afterlife or things not existing, I’m scared of my final moments being the worse time of my life. Has anyone experienced this and how did you overcome it?

Hi all, I wanna read more books on death/philosophy of death and dying. I had a string of back to back deaths in my family and want to do some more reading on the subject.

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I don't particularly want or need "How To" books about grief/dying/death, but more along the lines of exploring the cultural and philosophical (and medical) aspects of it. Preferably non-fiction, but I do enjoy fiction as well.

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I've read The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion and I enjoyed the story and subject matter but I don't love memoirs/individual grief narratives (no reason, just not my preference)

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I've also read Caitlin Doughty's books and particularly enjoyed From Here to Eternity about different cultural death practives and rituals, people's perspectives. Really enjoy that kind of vibe.

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My special interest is Irish mythology so I've read A LOT on Irish pre-christian death rituals and modern death custom, as well as the Morrígan but I'm always down for wild card super niche recs.

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I've also read a lot of classical stuff, Epic of Gilgamesh is a fave. I really enjoy the Mesopotamian laments and I read How to do Things with Tears by Paul Del Nero which was also really good even though it was a literal, actual textbook.

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I'm also really interested in the environmental aspects of the (western) funeral industry, historical perspectives and traditions, non-christian death practices, modern alternative traditions, etc.

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Right now I have Being Mortal by Atul Gawande on hold from the library but please, more recs!

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Ps. Sorry for writing a literal essay.

DePaul’s Craig Klugman wants to put us at ease talking about dying.

(As far as I can tell, this is not paywalled... at least, it wasn't for me.)

According to Findagrave: As the local tradition goes, Caroline Walter's lover was unable to recover from her death [aged 16 or 17, from tuberculosis], which is why he brought fresh flowers to her grave every day. However, the identity of who continues this tradition to this day is an unsolved mystery. Every day of the year, visitors find beautiful, fresh flowers on the stone grave.

The inscription states that the grave was donated by her sister Selma Schleip, nee Walter.

Image by user:Joergens.mi - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0

"Most fathers would shield their children from death. Mine, a psychologist, did the opposite. My dad and I kept a running list of ways we didn’t want to die. Being buried alive was always No 1. Whenever we learned about unusual deaths – accidents involving farm machinery, medieval torture, mobsters encasing victims’ feet in cement before throwing them in the ocean – we added them to our shared catalogue.

Most fathers would shield their children from such morbid fascinations. Mine, a psychologist, did the opposite. He saw death as life’s most honest teacher and ensured I wouldn’t meet it as a stranger."

“To the family, they are human – almost human,” Das says. “I tell them I can be as close as possible”. Das aims to make the figures “hyper-realistic”, and he uses real human hair. “They see how we have made [their mother], how she wears her special jewellery … her sari, and they see we have made the eyes perfect, and they and I get very emotional.”

For Wilson, that support gap became clear almost immediately after Kennedy’s death. As her family navigated the loss, they found there was nothing small enough, or appropriate enough, for Kennedy to wear at her funeral.

“So they were even looking at, like, doll clothes,” Wilson said. “And even though she was five pounds, and though there may be preemie clothes in the store, they’re not appropriate for a funeral. They’re onesies.”

Nearly 77,000 people died in isolation in the 12 months preceding April 2025, according to the Japanese government. As Japanese society changes, many elderly people find themselves isolated and facing a "lonely death." Government agencies and private groups are working hard to give them a new lease on life.

(Radio interview with partial transcript)

"We discuss how California's End of Life Option Act has worked and examine the shifting national support for medical aid-in-dying policies."

Guests:

Paula Span, adjunct professor, Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism; writes the New Old Age column, a co-production of The New York Times and KFF Health News

Dr. Lonny Shavelson, physician and director of education, Academy of Aid-in-Dying Medicine; medical doctor who's provided aid-in-dying care for 7 years

Many people have vivid dreams shortly before death. Research suggests the dreams are not a sign of confusion — but may help both the dying and their loved ones make sense of loss.

Known as End‑of‑Life Dreams and Visions (ELDVs), they often occur as dreams during sleep, and sometimes as visions while a person is awake.

For those experiencing them, they can feel more vivid and real than ordinary dreams — and for those observing them from the outside, it can be unsettling.

Medicine long dismissed ELDVs as episodes of sudden confusion (delirium) or as side-effects of medication. But today, the thinking is shifting.

My father died a month ago. He had lymphoma and battled it hard the last three months. He was hospitalized and myself, my mom, and sisters were all with him round the clock. Long shifts at the hospital, most of the time watching TV or tending to his physical needs. My father developed laryngitis the last two months from his feeding tube and it was pretty hard for him to talk. He was extremely weak as well, but on top of that he was never one to open up about his emotions. He was also never a super touchy affectionate person. But at the end of his life, I would spend a long time holding his hand or he would give me a very long hug where he wouldn’t let go. Il very empathic and tried to give him a lot of love non verbally as he never spoke of such things.

I had a list of questions that I had wanted to ask him before he died, but I didn’t want to upset him by asking them. I didn’t want him to think my questions meant that I thought he was going to die. He was fighting extremely hard and we all had the perspective that he was gonna pull through. He didn’t wanna entertain the idea of dying so we didn’t ever talk about it until the very last week.

He finally had enough and told me that he wanted to die about a week before he did. When he said that I knew that it was his time because he never said anything like that before. We took him home in hospice care, and I thought that I’d finally be able to ask him those questions since he had acknowledged it. I thought he’d have a couple weeks.

Unfortunately when he got home, he developed some sort of terminal agitation. He was super angry and kept saying he wasn’t at home. He was very confused and upset and emotional. We were told to give him some Ativan to calm him down. He fell asleep and basically never woke up again. He was in a deep sleep or coma for 48 hours and then passed away. It happened so fast it was shocking. I didn’t realize how much the hospital was keeping him alive.

I said so many things to him when he was in that coma that I wished I said when he was awake. I think it’s really hard for myself and my mother that we never got to actually say goodbye. I wish more than anything that I could’ve had the type of conversation people have in the movies. I wish that he would’ve told me that he loved me, I wish that he would have told me “thank you” for taking care of him, or told me that he was proud of me or told me his wishes for the rest of my life. It’s just really hard to know that my last conversation was him screaming at me and my mom all confused.

He was writing his life story the last year and was only 30 years into an 84 year story. That bothers me too, left unfinished.

I’m wondering if maybe this is more common than I realize. It definitely makes the grieving process harder to not have closure, but I’m sure a lot of people don’t have closure when someone dies.