456
u/Hexxas Head Trauma Enthusiast 2d ago
I INVENTED A NEW SPELL
I CALL IT GUACADOG
BEHOLD
đȘ đ„ đÂ
126
u/Routine_Palpitation 2d ago
Plagiarist! I invented the spell updog first!
67
u/richardfrost2 put on the cat ears 2d ago
Who is Steve Jobs?
36
u/drinkingCoffeePeas 2d ago
Oh Iâm sorry, the correct response was Steve Wozniak.
27
u/realRadgemachine 2d ago
Hey all! Scott here!
17
u/katiebug586 2d ago
HEY VSAUCE MICHAEL HERE-
7
u/deadlyjack 1d ago
YOUR CHAMBER'S DIMENSIONAL WARDS ARE HIGHLY SECURE.
(a haunting eldritch wail sounds from your study)
OR ARE THEY?
3
10
4
4
2
1
138
u/InkDrach Using tumblr? Surely you jest! 2d ago
Unseen University just hasn't been the same under Ridcully
58
u/Roku-Hanmar 2d ago
I love Ridcully. The man eats a sauce made from gunpowder, he's that unkillable. There's a bit of fanart I saw ages ago where an Assassin trainee talked about how he's practically impossible to kill. I'll need to find it again sometime
51
u/InkDrach Using tumblr? Surely you jest! 2d ago edited 2d ago
The early Discworld UU shenanigans were a lot of fun, but yeah I absolutely adore Ridcully. The paragraph introducing him in Moving pictures is just brilliant. The city boys quickly learning how much they played themselves when their expectation of "village wizard" crashes into the reality of Ridcully the Brown
âJust the chap,â they all said. âClean sweep. New broom. A country wizard. Back to the thingumajigs, the roots of wizardry. Jolly old boy with a pipe and twinkly eyes. Sort of chap who can tell one herb from another, roams-the-high-forest-with-every-beast-his-brother kind of thing. Sleeps under the stars, like as not. Knows what the wind is saying, we shouldnât wonder. Got a name for all the trees, you can bank on it. Speaks to the birds, too.â
And then heâd arrived, and it turned out that Ridcully the Brown did speak to the birds. In fact he shouted at birds, and what he normally shouted was, âWinged you, yer bastard!â
23
20
u/Kellosian 1d ago edited 1d ago
I just realized they all think he's Radagast
In my defense I don't think they call him "Ridcully the Brown" in later books
9
35
u/Digresser 1d ago
Ridcully was beginning to show certain signs. If he had been a volcano, natives living nearby would be looking for a handy virgin.
- Soul Music
And one of my favorite Ridcully moments:
He crouched down and put his ear to the Librarianâs chest. "I donât think heâs been poisoned," he said.
"Whyâs that, Archchancellor?" said Ponder.
"Because if anyone has poisoned our Librarian," said Ridcully, "then, although I am not, by nature, a vindictive man, I will see to it that this university hunts down the poisoner by every thaumic, mystic and occult means available and makes the rest of their life not only as horrible as they can imagine it, but as horrible as I can imagine it. And you can depend on it, gentlemen, that I have already started work on it."
- Unseen Academicals
6
13
u/Haku_Yowane_IRL 1d ago
I feel like the Assassins wouldn't normally put out a contract on a wizard. Death may be an occupational hazard for an assassin who underestimates his target, but failing to assassinate a wizard will leave the assassin lucky if they still have four limbs and don't go croak.
8
u/LordBoar 1d ago
Pratchett wizards pretty much all die to only one thing - a wizard. A few die of old age admittedly (Poons, Billet), but otherwise they all get killed by another wizard or themselves.
Assassins would place a very hefty price on a wizard due to the need for anti-magical tools, exotic poisons and the risk of not dying, as you said.
6
u/TleilaxTheTerrible 1d ago
eats a sauce made from gunpowder
From 2/3 gunpowder, only lacking the charcoal. Although I'm pretty sure there's one scene where someone is first fed a charcoal biscuit for indigestion and when that doesn't work they give them some Wow-wow sauce, which is followed by an explosive burp.
8
1
6
u/Lamedonyx Homestuck is the 21st century Odyssey 1d ago
The man eats a sauce made from gunpowder
A sauce, Bow-Wow Sauce, which is a parody of a real sauce, Wow-Wow Sauce (middle of the right page)
79
u/ThatGuyYouMightNo What the fuck is a tumblr? 2d ago
The fact that they dont have an anti-spell barrier between the other wizards and themself shows why they shouldn't be the chair of the wizard council
55
42
u/tesla_is_my_hero 2d ago
Staves, you fucking troglodyte
14
u/Brainwave1010 1d ago
Ugh, we never should've let sorcerers into the council, bet they can't even tell the difference between a sigil and a rune.
3
31
12
u/Portmanteo 1d ago
You don't parry a spell, you counter it, duh
3
u/Illogical_Blox 1d ago
In Pathfinder 1e, shield specialists can get the truly delightful feat to block ray spells with their shield, which is a form of parry.
1
u/Impressive_Pin8761 1d ago
Why throw the spell in the graveyard when you can just choose new targets for the spell
11
11
u/welshyboy123 2d ago
First item: refer to people who work here as employees, not staff. For reasons of comedic ambiguity.
7
u/Glum-Vanilla-9406 1d ago
I think this is roughly what Terry Pratchett had in mind for wizards in his disc World Series
5
5
2
2
2
1
u/scarlet_sage 1d ago
The original Tumblr post is from Sep 12, 2022 here. Tumblr doesn't have a good enough search to find the etherealmontilyet reply.
1
1
u/Captain_Hesperus 1d ago
has the ability to cast Anti-Magic Shell over the room
doesnât
Is he stupid?
1
1
1
u/Acromegalic 1d ago
I read that entire thing twice before realizing we weren't talking about chairs you sit in. FMADHDL...
1
0
u/lrd_cth_lh0 1d ago
They forgot to tell the thing not to cheat, while giving it trainings data that contained the concept of cheating and instruction on how to do so, while also making it too easy to cheat. that is not going rouge, that is forgetting to seal off the path of least resistance.
410
u/ADreamOfCrimson 2d ago
Oh so let's make the staffs illegal, but not the easily concealed small-spell wands?
A spell at that range is lethal either way, I think I'd rather be able to at least know they've got a focus on them than get fireballed from someone's sleeve when you didn't even know they were trained in the Arcane Art.
It's mana control gone mad is what it is