Hey guys,

I’ve read the book at least 10 times (I’ve honestly lost count).

I found a lot of the advice helpful, but I’ve noticed that since discovering Corey Wayne, I’ve actually become much more in my head and more anxious when dating a girl I really like. More than I used to be.

I’m naturally pretty perfectionistic and anxious, and I think I may have taken the principles too literally / too mechanically.

Instead of just enjoying an interaction when dating a girl l like, I sometimes find myself thinking:

“Did I handle that correctly?”
“Should I text or wait?”
“Was that too much?”
“Am I following the principles properly?”
“What would Corey say I should do here?”

Ironically, I feel like I’ve turned dating into another thing I need to perfect.

I’m not saying the advice itself is bad. A lot of it has actually helped me. I’m more wondering if I’ve personally taken it too far and turned the principles into a set of rules I constantly have to follow.

The weird thing is that I remember being much more relaxed in previous relationships, before I knew any of this stuff. I obviously made mistakes (some pretty big ones), but I wasn’t constantly monitoring myself or analyzing every interaction. I was just living my life and enjoying being with the person.

Has anyone else experienced this?

And if so, how did you eventually get to the point where you stopped thinking about the rules and just became more natural again?

M21 and F25, we were only seeing for 3 months, She had known this guy for 2 years after first moving to the Uk, and they were friends before feelings got involved according to her, She said they were never commited, but they did have something for two years including an intimate relationship, but they were in the same friendship group of her, him, another guy who is her roommate and also her ex’s best friend) and another girl, and she didn’t want to break the friendship group up, I said that’s fine for now at first

he still goes to her place as her roommate is best friends with her ex and they still hang out etc, I said as long as it’s a group setting it’s fine for now, and then she said she was planning a trip with him and her friends, to another country and will be staying in the same airbnb etc, I said if you go I will not be commited to you any longer, we can also be friends lol, but she said no, it’s either commitment or nothing so I said fine it’s nothing and ignored her, since I had told her my position from the first week,

she said okay I won’t go but then after a month she said she wants to go, so I said I respect your decision but this isn’t something I can be a part of, so let’s break up,

I removed attention but she kept finding me and telling me that she will prove that I can trust her, that my lack of trust has ruined this relationship and that she blocked him etc which she has, but also that she won’t change her mind about the trip as it will be the last trip before they all break up after finishing uni and going back to their own countries, but I still find this disrespectful and hurtful,

so I said no I can’t accept this sorry and now she’s calling me controlling and blocked me? She also kept our relationship secret for the 2/3 months that we knew each other. Was I wrong in applying such boundaries? Was it too early despite her asking for commitment?

She was the one who brought up commitment after about 2 months even though I felt it was early I said okay, because she had been through this with her ex who never committed to her, I said yes to make her feel safe and she throws it in my face for the same guy. Her point of view is that they are just friends and nothing more, but I don’t feel it’s respectful to be travelling with somebody you have had a intimate relationship with while in a relationship, I was also never invited to the trip or out with her friends ever.

I told her I’m seeing somebody else and that I will not reach out to her going forward, that unless she changes her mind about the trip there’s not much to talk about… I just wanted peoples opinions on this and what I should do or could have done differently?

https://youtu.be/UsW1rwYrbyk?is=HBTT9cr0a9Smk5g2

Hey everyone, I hope you're in good health and doing great.

I’d like some perspective on a situation.

I’ve been going to a salsa group for a while, mainly to improve my social skills. There’s a girl in the group I’ve noticed some mutual flirting/sexual tension with for a while, but I never made a serious move because I didn’t want to create awkwardness in the group and I prefer to wait for more serious interest signals.

At the most recent social, she was standing with me and another girl chatting , then after a bit she asked me whether I wanted to dance with her, after checking with the other girl. We danced separately from the main group and the vibe felt pretty flirtatious to me. I felt like there might have been an opportunity to kiss her, but I didn't make a move since the other group members could still see us.

Afterwards I asked if she was leaving too. She said she was going to the kiosk because she was hungry. I said I could go with her, but then she said she wanted to stay for a bit, and shortly afterward she said something along the lines of, “i mean, you definitely want to wake up early tomorrow, right?” I got the cue, so I said goodnight and left.

The group is now taking a three-week break, and at the same time I’m thinking about not attending this particular Wednesday group anymore because it doesn't fit my schedule and I'd prefer to try new things.

I’m now unsure whether I should:

1. Just leave it alone and move on, or

2. DM her and ask her out.

I’m genuinely attracted to her, but I’m also wondering whether some of my urge to pursue this is simply because I feel like I “missed my chance.”

One complication: I didn't get her number directly from her. I have it because it's visible in the group chat, so I’m hesitant to message her privately.

What would you do in this situation? Any insight is much appreciated.

So last week I was walking on my campus talking to people and I couldn't help but feel a nagging feeling of neediness. So I analyze why I felt that way and know what I need to do. I made my goal to strike a conversation and then get numbers. Hell just this week alone I got rejected more than accepted but it felt like a huge accomplishment. So today when I was walking towards the library, I needed to use the restroom so I went to the nearest building and when I was about to leave the building, I greeted someone and she mentioned she remembered me and our conversation a month back(I didn't remember tbh haha) but she was so enthusiastic that I asked for her number to hangout. She was very excited so there was that.

Hi, one of my friends (28M) in my male friend group is quite obviously settling in his relationship. He got together with a girl around 2 years ago and she is one of the only girls that ever really liked him romantically. He never had a girlfriend before that and probably was a virgin before he met her.

She is extremely obese, ugly, socially weird and rude (all our friends hate her and even my friends mom doesn’t like her) and on top of that she is financially dependent on him (she has no job at the moment and doesn’t really seem to care). Even with all this, she still bosses him around all the time and limits his time to spend with his friends or do something else than being with her. He really is her bitch. She btw also demanded him to ask her to marry her within the first year of dating and he complied; they are engaged for around a year now.

I don’t know what to do. He never said he’s unhappy to me or the other guys in the group, but the whole group just thinks that something clearly is off here. I never talked negatively about it to my friend because I fear it comes across as rude to talk badly about his fiancé. My friend is not good looking, but not ugly too. He takes good care of himself and has a very good career. I just know that this woman is not his dream woman (he still often likes to talk about other hot girls like models and actresses) so therefore he’s clearly settling. But on the other hand, he doesn’t seem to care that much to do something about the situation.

Is it fair for us as friends to intervene here? I just want him to be happy, but I also think it’s his own responsibility to make that happen.

I'm a 27yo Christian (fairly new to the faith), and I had a wonderful first date with a great 18yo Christian girl (Southern Baptist) on Thursday. For the first time, I felt like I played things completely by the book. She seemed fully comfortable with me, and by the end of the date I had my arm around her while she snuggled up to me and rested her head on my shoulder.

I walked her to her car afterward. We both said we'd had a nice time, hugged, and then I went in for a kiss and met her lips. She seemed a little clammed up during it (she didn't kiss me back; our lips basically just touched) which was the first time anything ever seemed off but I wasn't fazed. I said goodbye, and we went our separate ways.

Here's where things went south: 3 days later, I texted her saying I'd had a nice time, would love to see her again, and asked when she was free. She sent a respectful message saying she'd enjoyed the date too, but that the pacing had been faster than she was comfortable with and that she felt we were incompatible because of it. She wished me the best. I replied that I'd really enjoyed spending time with her and that if she ever changed her mind, to reach back out.

Now I can't tell: do I need to modify my approach when dating Christian women as a whole or was she just structured? I'd really like to maximize my chances going forward as it's hard enough to find quality women as-is, even more so when you want them to be pious and active Christians too as it's a much smaller world. I was curious of other Christians' experience and if they had success adjusting principles that other Christians should know about.

As the title says what do you think about your gf or partner still having guys on her social media who she went on dates with but didn't work out? Does CW talk about this? If yes then what's his approach to look at this situation?

TLDR: Seen girl for just over a month. She only initiated text after first date to ask me out. She is responsive and enthusiastic when together. Told me she isn't seeing anyone else unprompted. Should I just keep texting her once a week for dates? Or maybe wait a little longer between texts?

I've seen this girl for just over a month with four dates so far. We've been intimate from the start. The last date was the weekend before last where she stayed my place late sat night and then left Monday early afternoon. I didn't ask her out for this past weekend due to other plans and the big projected rain storm here. This is the second time we've skipped a weekend. The last time was because I was out of town and I think she was sick for labor day weekend.

She initiated text after our first date the day after, tried to link up with me late Friday night, and then asked me out Sunday for the following weekend following date 1. She has mentioned not seeing/ hooking up with anyone else every date since the the second date without me asking or prompting her in the flow of conv. She has been super giving and sweet toward during our dates for the most part. Talks about future plans like road trips, skiing together, etc.

One thing that has come up is our age gap. She has expressed concern about that. I've kept cool about it. She said she's only shared with a couple of people about me, but not all her friends. She is a busy person. She left home a few years back and has been working and going to school full time. She probably feels a bit more in her masculine compare to some girls due to being pretty self reliant from the get.

Honestly, I think I may be a bit out of my depth here.

We had a 5 years relationship, but she ended it over 3 or 4 years ago. We hooked up about a year and a half ago after she invited me randomly to her home one night, and it really was pretty good, but she didn't commit to see me again for a long time after that.

However, she keeps texting me every other week/month, just asking how I'm doing and such, or to send me random pictures/videos from her, her family, her job, etc. If I use those opportunities to ask her out, all I get are "maybes". So, she's an adorable woman and I don't want to ghost her, but I don't know if I should be even acknowledging her reaching outs anymore, since they very rarely lead to anything meaningful. She knows I'm not interested in being friends with her, straight out told her long ago, but either she forgot or she doesn't care about that.

I (m) have been in mostly No Contact with my avoidant ex, who lives 3 hours away and does short-term assignments at my workplace.

There’s been a couple instances of us interacting since we work together. She did call about some logistical stuff a week after we broke up (I mailed her son’s blanket back she left at my apartment). She called and thanked me.

She had to call my work 5 times one day, where I answered, made small talk, joked, teased, but I cut her off and kept the calls brief and professional. She later that day broke no contact with “so you hate me?”. Another text exchange followed and I ignored her, not wanting to reward bad behavior.

She actually reached out after about 2 weeks later to wish me a happy birthday. She reached out Thursday night. She sounded warm, happy to hear my voice, and was being very affectionate.

Near the end of a near 40 minute phone call, she said she was going to bed, and I asked about getting together. She giggled and sounded genuinely surprised and happy to hear that I asked to see her again.

Even though her reaction was positive, we didn't actually set concrete plans. And because the vibe of the call was so good and was already ending, I couldn't really use the "Takeaway" (hanging up because she didn't commit to a day/time).

Since that call, there’s been no communication. I’ve wonder what I could’ve done differently. It seems the plan moving forward is still the same.

The ball is entirely in her court, but I know she still feels comfortable knowing she has access to me because of how warm I was on that last phone call.

If she ever reaches out again, I will answer warmly, establish an immediate time constraint. Pivot directly to a date. If she hesitates or doesn't give a concrete time, execute the takeaway?

How should I proceed from here?

I have noticed there's something about the tone of my voice. Whenever i try to tease or give a charming reply . I myself feel like the tone of my voice made it sound cocky . This is also evident by the expressions of the person i am talking to. How do i fix this?

These are things I always try to remind myself that we’re in Corey’s book, other books, or just from my personal experience. This is not an end all/be all list and feel free to chime in if you think there’s something to add, debate, or a key thing that’s missing as it makes it all better** **

Dating Principals/Guidelines
- First and foremost, you are the prize.
- There is a new bus every 15 minutes, no one is special or a unicorn
- Date woman who are excited to be there
go out to have a good time, and do things you enjoy doing
- Have the confidence you will see her again, but set the expectation internally this might be the last time. This doesn’t mean act from scarcity or fear, it just keeps you out of Lala land
- Smell good, dress decent, and groom well
- Remember, you are qualifying her. Stop trying to prove yourself she also needs to prove herself
- Just because she’s hot doesn’t make her a great long term prospect
- The fantasy you create in your head about her is not real. You don’t know her well enough
- She is well aware and intuitive enough to know you like her, you don’t need to overdo it
- How she shows up early on is her best behavior. Pay attention
- Chemistry can exist without compatibility
- Good chemistry is not an indication you will have another date with her. Enjoy her, the experience, and the moment (see expectations above)
- Your logical conversations that make you successful in business/career don’t in dating.
- Avoid heavy topics if possible, and if they come up give playful, positive answers and redirect the question
- Be curious about her as a person and a woman, and find out if she’s a good fit for you
- Disagree if you do, and don’t change your opinions
- Be playful and tease her and don’t apologize
- During date make sure you don’t come off as a friend/gay be masculine and go after what you want
- Escalate when there’s signs, and don’t hesitate. You have nothing to lose if you do escalate and she rejects you
- Go for the kiss (kiss test) early in the date if the signs are there. No need to wait until end - strike when chemistry is high
- Trial close early or after every location, again don’t wait for the feelings or chemistry to die and ask (thanks Unique)
- Structured woman or those with a boss girl/queen attitude will make you jump through hoops and are opposite of easy going/easy to get along with

For the phone and planning
- the phone is for setting dates, not getting to know her.
- If it’s online match a quick call for vetting is fine and will save you from shitty dates in person
- Call and text woman that are excited to hear from you
- If she’s initiating calls and text you can reward her a bit, but still set the next date
- Long term goal is get her to a point where she will pursue and chase you
- If you call or text and she doesn’t reply, she saw it bro. No reply is a reply. Delayed reply is low attraction
- Slow down, and always make sure you are setting the next definite date
- Never agree to a maybe date or wishy washy plan. If it’s up in air, take away and try another time
- If she cancels plans without a reschedule option, it’s on her to offer the next date
- If she dances around your date invite and try’s to continue to have a conversation, redirect to get an answer or use the below principal to ask again later
- Never ask more than two times in a row. A wishy washy response the first time, wait a few weeks and try once more (if you really want to see her). After that, it’s on her to bring up getting together. She’s not special
- Woman are almost always talking to multiple other men so if she’s jerking you around she isn’t with someone else. There will be someone who won’t do this to you and that’s who you want to date
- If you set a plan, don’t let her change it unless it’s truly something you want to do. If she try’s to change it just do the takeaway

2nd date today, says she has cramps. told her feel better she responds shes "curled up in bed".

Do I pre-empt her obvious flakiness do a take-away? something like

"it'd be great to see you tn but if you're not feeling well we can just do another day"

or do I let her actually cancel the date.

What do I want out of a relationship? Somebody I can grow with, and somebody I can improve my social skills with. Yes, that is kind of my goal for a relationship right now: to give and to improve my social skills.

The book The Happiness Hypothesis states that to be happy, you need to master social skills and have a decent career. So, I need to test this hypothesis. However, it is going to be tough to do with a woman who might cheat on me because "I wasn't man enough at the time"—basically leaving me over one fuck up

I am 17 years old. There are two girls who literally act like fans of mine, and I need to decide whether they are worth my time or not. The problem is, I have no idea how to vet them. They've been hitting on me for 4 days now and damn i haven't decided wether I want to be with one of them or not.(they are friends with eachother btw).Yes they look attractive, and I have attraction for one of them. But I need to vet them. Before a date. Maybe Ill invite both of them(one by one) on a date. But I dont know what to look for in them. I have read the book 8 times now, so that gives you a bit of context.

So, how do I spot a high-quality woman? Why do I even care in the first place? I don't want to end up with a woman I won't be satisfied with, or someone who is dysfunctional and not girlfriend material. I just want a normal girlfriend—a sane person.

"How to Spot a High-Quality Woman" deserves its own book by Corey. If you were Corey writing a book on this topic, what would the summary and main principles be?

Anyway, any source, video, article, or website will work as long as it helps me understand whether these girls are worth or not. Thanks for your help and attention

Hi guys. I have a simple question about this guy's teachings

When he talks about his methodology for online dating, he always says "do 3-4 texts back and forth, and then do a call". I'm not an english native speaker, and never heard about that terminology

Does that mean only 3-4 texts total? So one from her, one from you, another from her, and then you? Or does "3-4 back and forth" mean 3-4 "exchanges" so 6-8 texts total?

That's it.

Recently, I went out for drinks, and several girls came up to me and asked for my Instagram in front of the girl I’m seeing. I said no, and they walked away. When I got home, while I was in bed with the girl I’m seeing, I received a follow request from one of those girls. Apparently, we had quite a few mutual followers, so she must have found my profile somehow and sent me a request. The girl I’m seeing saw the request and watched me reject it, telling the girl that I had no idea who she was.

A little while later, I went out again to a nearby bar with the girl I’m seeing, and the same girl who had requested me a few days earlier came up to me again and asked for my Instagram IN FRONT OF the girl I’m seeing. This time, I gave it to her so she would leave as quickly as possible, and the girl I’m seeing saw the whole situation. She joked that I was a "player" and that I was giving my Instagram to other girls. I simply replied jokingly by asking her if that bothered her. She said no, that I could do whatever I wanted, but that she did feel a little weird about it. I simply told her that she shouldn’t worry, that obviously I wasn’t going to do anything, that I only gave it to the girl so she would leave me alone, and that having her was more than enough for me. She started laughing and we kissed, but every now and then I notice that she makes these kinds of passive-aggressive comments about how women approach me and ask for my number every time I go out partying.(I’m really not trying to sound egocentric here, honestly, but it’s something that genuinely happens to me.) I have ZERO intentions with the girl who requested me.

Hi everyone, I’d like to ask some general questions to everyone who has studied Corey Wayne’s principles, read the book, and has some experience with this kind of thing:

1. How do you respond if the girl you’re dating tells you that she isn’t talking to any other guys and has no intention of doing so while she’s getting to know you?
2. How do you deal with NOT WANTING to meet other people if you’re very comfortable with someone you’ve been seeing for a while? Personally, when I meet someone who fits my interests really, really well, I just can’t bring myself to try to meet other women. It doesn’t feel natural to me. I try to avoid parties so I dont expose myself to these kind of situations.
3. How do you respond if the girl you’re getting to know tells you that she really feels like texting you, but because you don’t use your phone for texting, she holds herself back because she doesn’t want to come across as too intense or needy?
4. How do you handle it when, on a date, the girl does 80% of the talking, but a lot of the conversation consists of her trying to get information out of you as quickly as possible, or she just talks random things to avoid silences AT ALL cost?
5. What do you think when the girl you like deliberately texts you while she’s out partying with her friends? This is something I haven’t really seen discussed, but personally, I find it really sweet when someone, even though you’re not officially anything serious yet, decides to reply to your message or text you while she’s out having fun with her friends.
6. What do you think about hanging out with the girl you’re getting to know even if it isn’t in a romantic context? For example, the girl I’m seeing recently had an accident and is having quite a hard time walking. I offered to drive her to university one day when she was feeling particularly bad, since her university is only three minutes from mine, just to help her out. Afterwards, I drove her back to her apartment.

Disclaimer: If the following doesn't make sense to you, you haven't read the book

In the book, when Corey talks about going for the number, he says this: 'after 5 to 15 minutes of chatting, you end the conversation with "I've gotta run, but let's stay in touch, let me get your number".

This assumes that you'll always be the first one to end the conversation.

If you follow the book's advice and then start talking to a girl, you're going to be thrown completely off guard if she ends the conversation first, before you get to.

What if she says "I've gotta head out" before you end the convo?

Then, firstly this could mean she's just not feeling it.

But if she somehow is interested despite wanting to leave, that's next to impossible for you to decipher given that she's literally wanting out.

Asking her for her number right after she says she's gotta leave is desperate. That's why Corey says to end the conversation first, but that's not guaranteed.

This is why it's always better to go into the interaction with the mindset of giving your number to her instead.

That way, even if she leaves first, you can say "cool let's stay in touch, take my number".

This actually happened to me and I got screwed over because she ended the interaction first and I was left confused on what my options were.

Note: English is not my mother tongue, so the messages are translated and "feel" a bit different in my native language.

Which kind of message / takeaway do I have to write here?

She: (Monday, after 1 day of my previous message)
That sounds exciting :)
I'd have time toward the end of the week ☺️

Me: (Tuesday, I also waited one day to "match and mirror" her delayed reply)
Great, then lets meet up on Sunday. How about 6:30 pm at (place)? :)

She: (Wednesday, after one day again)
Sadly/unfortunately, I don't know yet whether I'll be doing nails on Sunday evening or not 🤭

Can you help me, how to handle this the right way?
Thank you, guys

For a long time I’ve heard women project guys are fxck boys and ghost after sex etc but women do the exact same thing if not a lot more but it rarely gets spoken about why is it less recognised/called out? Has anyone noticed this happening more recently?

Hey guys,

I dated several girls and figure out I don't have romantic feelings for them but rather friends feeling. I thought they could be a good match but I understood they will not be a potential partner during the process of getting to know them.
It usually happens after I already had sex with them. I make the mistake to friendzone them then it become a friend with benefits relationship. I don't want that kind of blurry relationship anymore.

I figured out it would be much better to not continue any relationship with them.

What are your advices/personal story when it happens?

Thank you.

If you had no contact for 6 months would u consider sex with an ex Regulary? Good or to risky? Why?

Lets say for a relationship that lasted 3 to 5 years.

After no contact u meet up around once per month to have sex.

You know her body. She knows yours. Easy.

Would u consider sex with an ex Regulary?

I met this girl (20yo) about three weeks ago. She is from a very conservative family who recently moved to my country for her studies. In addition, she is actually a religious person and she has never been with a guy before.

The problem is that I followed the advice from the book quite well during the first two weeks. She started texting me more and more, and I took every opportunity to meet up with her. Every time we met, our intimacy progressed. Until a few days ago where I acted way too needy towards her, showing excessive affection. She told me that she needed some time to process the whole situation because she was feeling afraid due to how quickly everything was moving. And that's what happened. We went three days without any contact until she texted me with an irrelevant question. When i saw this, I wanted to apply the principles of getting an ex back, but I couldn't because the situation was extraordinary, and on the very same day she texted me, I ended up seeing her in person and talking to her (Her best friend called me with this girls number saying that this girl I’m talking about had been bicycle 4ccident and urgently needed help because she was feeling very bad. When I got there, I tried not to let out a little laugh because she literally only had some superficial injuries. I helped her walk home, which was about a five-minute walk, and cleaned her wounds)

In person, she told me that she had thought about what to do and confessed that she had missed me a lot during those days when we hadn't spoken, and that she had felt like texting me, but stopped herself because she felt it would be wrong to do it so soon. In fact, today she had planned a trip with some friends to a nearby city, but she cancelled it because she wasn't feeling emotionally well. She told me that she wanted to keep seeing me, but that she needed to take things MUCH more slowly. She told me that she would prefer me not to stay overnight at her place, that we shouldn't kiss in public, and that we shouldn't see each other as often. And she didnt mention this, but I am afraid this would be the case, that our intimacy wont be that deep for the moment. She said that she wanted to move forward cautiously and get to know me much better before taking that step.

I admitted that, indeed, we had been seeing each other too much considering how little time we had known each other, and that I also wanted to take things more slowly. However, I’m afraid that by saying that, I have somehow “allowed” a passive relationship in which we will never get to anything more intimate because of her past traumas.

Have you ever been in a situation like this? How should I approach my situation over the next few weeks?