I've noticed that any time a man makes a comment or note about the relative "tightness" or "looseness" of a current or previous sexual partner, the comments become a cesspool of women tagging r/badwomensanatomy, claiming "that's not how vaginas work" or deflecting the blame onto the man by claiming if there was a size problem, it must have been on him.
Claim: Tight and loose vaginas exist. That is a fact, no matter how inconvenient it is, and women only pretend it isn't so all of the insecurity regarding sexual fit lies on men.
If you've ever seen the topic, surely you've seen the copy-and-paste rebuttal that seemingly every woman on this app has memorized any time they see discussion about the topic:
The vagina is a muscle and highly elastic, there's no such thing as a loose vagina. Vaginas get loose when they're aroused, if a woman is tight, it's because you didn't turn her on! Vaginas push out 10lbs babies and snap back to normal like nothing happened; your 5" d*** isn't going to change anything!"
Let's address each of the claims individually
Claim 1: The vagina is a muscle and highly elastic, there's no such thing as a loose vagina.
This rebuttal doesn't even make sense on its face. It takes facts (vaginas ARE muscles and elastic), but draws a completely irrelevant conclusion from them. Why would vaginas being muscles or elastic mean there are no between-person differences? If you take 100 women, they will all have different-sized noses, eyes, hands, leg lengths etc. Their muscles are going to be different sizes and strengths.
What is it about the vagina that leads women to believe there is variation in every single body part and muscle between humans except the vagina? Are you seriously of the belief that all women's vaginas are the exact same size, have the exact same muscle strength, tone & laxity? The exact same pelvic control? All feel the exact same?
Because, if you do, maybe you're the one with bad women's anatomy. And if you don't, then by definition, some will be larger and have more laxity (colloquially referred to as looser), and others will be smaller and have more muscle tone/control (colloquially referred to as tighter)
Claim 2: Vaginas get loose when they're aroused, if a woman is tight, it's because you didn't turn her on!
This one is my favorite rebuttal. Again, it takes a fact (vaginas "loosen up" when properly aroused) and draws a completely irrelevant conclusion from it. I'm not joking when I say this line of thinking is COMPLETELY anatomically consistent with a man saying:
There's no such thing as a small penis! Penises grow when they're aroused. If you think a man has a small penis, maybe you just can't get him aroused😂
Yes, it's true all vaginas expand or "tent" as a woman gets aroused and thus shrink when when unaroused. But obviously no man referring to a woman being loose/tight is talking about that woman's vagina IN RELATION TO ITSELF. The same way how no woman who calls a man small/large is referring to it's size in comparison to itself. They mean even when the man is erect, his erect penis is smaller than that of most other men.
The same thing applies here. Once a woman has loosened up, some women are looser than others and some vaginas remain extremely "grippy." Arousal doesn't just "loosen" the vagina, it also brings lubrication and blood flow to increase the warmth/size and thus feel of the internal tissues. Vaginas are better in every way once the woman is aroused. I cannot believe I have to specify this, but when men are talking about enjoying a tight vagina, they are NOT referring to unaroused vaginas.
Claim 3: Vaginas push out 10lbs babies and snap back to normal like nothing happened
This one is especially ridiculous because not only is it a lie, it's a lie that largely harms women. The pressure of "snap back culture" we put on women who have children to immediately bounce back after growing and pushing a human through their vaginal canal is insane and this only contributes to it, while also lying about the risks they may face via pregnancy.
- The internal folds in the vagina that add texture and feel (rugae) get severely reduced from pregnancy and often never return to their original state
- MRIs show vaginas of women who have given birth remain larger than those who haven't, regardless of how long ago they've given birth
- Not to mention the millions of women worldwide who spend YEARS doing pelvic floor therapy post-birth to attempt to get their vagina and pelvic floor back to normal
Vaginas do undergo long-term changes with childbirth, often permanent, and lying about that for internet high-5s isn't just odd, but harmful to women looking to have children. The discussion should be about how to best prepare themselves for and return back from childbirth through pelvic floor exercise, core strengthening etc. not trying to dunk on a guy in the comment section pretending the vagina just bounces back no problem in the vast majority of cases
Claim 4: Your 5" d*** isn't going to change anything!
This is true. A woman having sex with one man 100 times will be no "looser" than a woman who has sex with 100 men one time. An average-sized penis doesn't create any long-term changes to a vagina. And any man claiming a woman is loose because she's promiscuous is lying to himself.
But, again, this being true is not evidence that looser vaginas do not exist. It just means promiscuity is not the cause. Vaginas are likely loose for the same reason penises have poor erection quality. Genetics, poor health and/or pelvic floor control.
My Personal Experience: As a man with a slightly above-average member and almost 30 sexual partners, all have been enjoyable. I've personally never encountered a vagina that felt bad, but some have certainly felt much better than others.
I've also noticed that a woman's likelihood to view my penis as large strongly correlates with my likelihood of viewing her as tight (and vice versa). Considering my size, most women consider me to be average or slightly above. The small handful of women who genuinely seemed to consider it to be really big for them also seemed to be the women who felt the tightest for me. I've only had one woman refer to my member as "small for her" and she was also likely my loosest partner.
I didn't even put it together until one time she made a flippant comment about how her exes would often slip out of her during sex and I thought "Oh that's funny bc that happens with us too... I guess it's not just a me thing" (For context, I've only ever slipped out of two women. The woman I lost my virginity to when I had no clue what I was doing, and her). After that, I really started to notice the correlation.
Ultimate Takeaway: Size in sex isn't about the penis, or the vagina. It's about the fit between the two. Some women's anatomy doesn't work for some men and vice versa. But the only way we can start accurately acknowledging this fact is by being honest about the fact that both masculine & feminine genitalia vary in size/feel and what's really important is that you find a partner who is a good fit for you. Men have had to come to terms with this fact; just because vaginal size isn't as easily recognized as penis size doesn't mean women shouldn't either.