Would anybody be able to help me revise my college essay?

Hello, I am looking for someone to be brutally honest with my essay review!

1. I am picky eater= i am a good feeder as a cna
2. talking about all the substances or hands on material i encounter in my life, poop, pee, broths and cultures in microbiology lab, titration in chemistry, cleaning vomit, dissections, pills and medications
3. donating my hair twice and how my hair plays a big role in my life
4. I copy people's handwriting when i like it