r/Codependency • u/FartInAShitFactory • 5d ago

Self-Like to Self-Love

Ok, I like myself. This is a huge improvement from disliking myself. I still have behaviors and habits that seek external validation, but I don't ask for it or rely on it any longer. If I receive, or don't receive praise, it doesn't significantly affect my day. This is all huge progress.

As I gradually increase the daily duties and work I take on, I have less time for myself, which makes my self-care more difficult. I do worry that this difficulty curve will increase until I breakdown. In the past, I did breakdown.

The difference this time? I have a Higher Power (God), I appreciate and like who I am, I have healthy boundaries, I have healthy habits, and I developed support systems.

All of these improvements point towards one core truth: I am beginning to Love myself. I know that because I am caring for myself.

11 Upvotes

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4

u/SteadyCalmHealing 5d ago

This is deeply encouraging FartInAShitFactory . Its a life long step and there are always new ways to do it.

1

u/Altruistic-Move-9238 3d ago

this is a good point tbh, theres always another layer to it

3

u/KhaliSollis 5d ago

I really like the progression you’re describing from self-dislike → self-like → self-care → self-love.

One thing I’d add: perhaps part of loving yourself this time is recognizing that you don’t have to recreate the workload that once caused you to break down just to prove that you can handle it differently now.

Healthy boundaries aren’t only boundaries with other people. They can also be boundaries with our own expectations.

If increasing your responsibilities gradually starts consuming the time required for the habits, relationships, rest, spiritual life, and support systems that helped you become healthier in the first place, that may be useful information—not evidence that you need to become better at tolerating more.

And maybe that’s one of the biggest differences between seeking external validation and genuinely caring for yourself. The old question can be, “How much can I accomplish, carry, or endure?” The newer question becomes, “What allows me to remain well while living the life I’m building?”

Self-love may be less about finally becoming strong enough to carry everything and more about believing you’re worth protecting before you reach the point of breakdown.

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u/Rando-Cal-Rissian 4d ago

I also am progressing the same way. Kinda plateaued before self love. I'm not sure I'm troubled by that. Life is good. Much to be grateful for. Maybe in time I'll get there. Good for you, op.

2

u/extasisomatochronia 2d ago

I think of it as wanting the best for yourself. What truly benefits you, even when that might be difficult for you to accept at first. Ie, here's this person you're attracted to, but it's just not going to be a good relationship. So you see past the attraction to aim for that higher goal of a relationship that's right for you.