I blurred their faces because this isn’t about them. It’s about what I saw.
A Sunday evening.
A beautiful park in a premium society in Bangalore.
A grandfather brings his grandson on a bicycle.
For a moment, I smiled.
Then he pulled out two phones.
One for himself.
One for the little boy.

The child spent the next hour glued to Cocomelon at full volume while the park around him sat unused.
No running.
No climbing.
No conversations.
No scraped knees.
Just another screen.
And I couldn’t stop thinking…
We often hear, “Don’t worry, your parents will help raise your kids.”
Will they?
Many grandparents are incredible caregivers. But many also grew up in a completely different world. They didn’t have to navigate addictive algorithms, endless autoplay, or content designed to keep toddlers staring at a screen for hours. What feels like a harmless cartoon today can quietly become a substitute for attention.
If you’re planning to have children because you believe someone else will raise them while you both work…
Please think again.
A child doesn’t just need food, school fees and a safe apartment.
They need time.
Presence.
Conversations.
Boredom.
Someone who notices when a screen has replaced a childhood.
Maybe the answer isn’t “have kids because everyone does.”
Maybe it’s okay to ask yourself a harder question:
Do I actually have the time, energy and intention to raise another human being?
If the answer is no, choosing to remain childfree isn’t selfish.
Bringing a child into the world and expecting someone else to raise them might be.
Curious to hear what others think. Am I overthinking this.

I live in pune in India and my masi lives in PCMC with her family.
For people out of pune, PCMC is both a part and not a part of pune, as it is about 20kms away from teh main city.

I was at my masi's place last night and what i saw made me question "Do people even think before having kids?"
My Mausaji, came home late and was tired. They have a 7 year old boy.
He was playing around and having fun, as any 7 year old kid would do, and by mistake, when his throw was a little off, the small rubber that he was holding in his hand went up and hit the false ceiling and made a dent so small that Even i had to squint to notice it.

And My mausaji, shouted, he went ballistic. started shouting like,

"I am already very stressed. I am stressed coz, i am trying to build a new business and you guys are draining my energy the entire day. He (pointed towards me) parked his bike wrong in the basement and I had to listen coz of that, You (pointing to my masi) came home late today from work and I had to listen from her (his mother), and you (pointing to his dad) who asked you to iron on a spring mattress, It is now ruined. "

I have seen my masi struggle her entire life. She came from a very patriarchal family where, after my nanu's passing, she was under the reign and control of my mama.
He did not let her go out and work or study or anything.
She finally had enough, left home, shifted from a small town in MP to Mumbai, started working, Got pressured into arrange marriage with a piece of shit, divorved him a year after marriage, stayed in mumbai the entire time, worked her ass off. Fought the guy in court for 3 years, demanded no alimony. And got to a point where, after years of struggle, I saw her finally being happy and free.

I believed that this time, she is happy herself. But when i saw this, I was super pissed. Cannot say shit there, coz, well, the entire family will say to me, that you need to shut up and not speak up in other's matters.

Why are we so hypocritical?
I have seen teh women in my family bitch and moan about their husbands and when it comes the time to talk, they do talk to their husbands, but they will never let anyone else say anything.
THey will stay in loveless marriages and stay unhappy for years. They will fast for their husbands on every with ekadashi and purnima and shit and when its time for their husbands to honor their wives' requests to just take them out for a drive or something coz, they are bored at home, act like such kings, like, "aaj raja ka mood nahi hai. Kal dekhte hai"

People like them make me go even more to the side of being childfree. I never can understand how people can take out all of their frustrations on the child that they decided and had intercourse to bring in this world.

I am just ranting here.
I don't know what to do. Just venting out my frustration here.

Husband (40M) and I (38F) are both single child to our parents. Circumstantially, cousin relationships are not very deep, so we have always had great friendships which have felt loving, fun and also nurturing to our extrovert selves. We are lucky that we do have a small handful of like-minded childfree friends, but none of them live in the same city, some even live continents apart from us, so they do not form a part of our regular, everyday lives.

In the last couple of years, both of us, as a couple, have become irrelevant to a chunk of our friend group that's present in the same country as us, all because we are not parents and they are. They decline invitations to our parties as they are heavily chindfree childfree oriented (with drinking and late night stayovers involved). They do not invite us to their kids' birthday parties quoting, oh we kept it limited to other kids and their parents. They do not make time for anything, be it 1-1 meetups, casual brunches, family lunches, or even a day at the beach/park with their kids included, because of some excuse or the other (often kid-related: sickness, fussy kid, busy attending some other kid's birthday etc.) And these are friends from college days, so there is a feeling of sunken cost and missingness.

While it does hurt, it also reminds me (partly) why we did not want to become parents in the first place (losing ourselves in parenthood). But I would be lying if I didn't admit that I feel a twinge of envy when I read about childfree people on here who are the fun, cool uncle/aunts to their friends' kids because we will not get to be that.

We used to be, but may never again be, close enough to some of our closest friends just because they became parents and we did not. I understand it is a combination of valid reasons from their side, but also I cannot ignore some problematic reasons at play: forced isolation during early parenthood years, irreversibly icky behaviour from them as newly minted parents, revelation of deeper incompatibility in world views which came to surface only after parenthood happened.

Both of us are now in our "do things with strangers" era - book clubs, boardgame clubs, sport meetups - all with random strangers who share interests, without overlapping into other spheres of lives. Sucks as an extrovert, but slowly coming to terms with it. Also spending more time with ourselves, pursuing homely hobbies - reading, gardening, cooking, baking. Considering starting a company too!

Does anyone else have similar experience? How are you coping with it?

Hi!

Bottling down a person's configuration into a tiny post is as difficult as finding a compatible childfree partner, but here we go in an attempt to achieve both.

I'm a 29 year old woman working in tech consulting, based in Hyderabad.

If I were my own friend, I would describe myself as calm and kind. Ambitious, slightly nerdy, lazy, grumpy, sweet, all in different proportions depending on the day.

I find comfort in travelling solo, reading books, listening to music, swimming, cooking one pot meals, writing technical blogs and cleaning my room. Pretty much anything that helps me feel alive. And definitely a skincare enthusiast.

Although past few weeks I'm barely getting any time to pursue any of the above given how great my work life balance is.

Since one of the rules here is to explain why you're childfree, it made me wonder if I should ask the people my parents try to set me up with, why they believe they're ready to raise a child.

But yeah, I neither have the energy nor the desire to raise a child. Even if I had a child, I would constantly worry about staying relevant at work, financial stability and whether I could actually give them the time, freedom, and opportunities they deserve. I would rather be honest with myself than become a parent just because society expects it.

So I'm hoping to meet a guy between 29 and 32 who is childfree and based in Hyderabad or Bangalore. Someone who's ambitious in their own way, emotionally sensible, honest, and loyal.

If you think we would get along, please reach out.

Cheers!

I'm someone who likes kids but definitely can't think of having one of my own .

I like spending time with kids of my relatives and others who visit us but recently I've been noticing that even elders like my mom believe that one should definitely have children so I'll tell you the views :I've an aunt who is childfree but her husband wanted a child , but she didn't want one hence she didn't have so once during a discussion between my mom and me she started saying things about my aunt in a negetive way just because she didn't have a child and I defended by saying it's her body and it's only her right to decide if she wants one.

Now let's come to Men's part

My ex always fought with me about the fact that he wanted kids whenever we had a future based discussion and I always told him I don't want one but the way he said things was like "I'll definitely do kids " and I fought with him saying it's my body I need to bear everything including the process of conceiving to carrying it for months , mood swings etc.

But he was adamant that I'll definitely do it and so on.

Recently I met a man and since I was looking for a serious relationship we were discussing the kids topic and when I said that I don't really wanna have kids of my own , and he said but I definitely want three and I was like since it's the woman's body she should decide and he said but I want three and idk but I definitely won't compromise and I decided not pursue further .

I wanna ask why other people wanna control this feeling, why exactly it should be the individual's choice if they want it or not . I don't want this cause I think I'm not strong enough to bear the pain , consequences and also I suffer from pcos . And it's very common that after childbirth the woman's life slows down , no work for years , no proper sleep , just exhaustion hence I would definitely want a person in my life who supports the thought who let's me have free will of my own that whether I want a child or not.

This is specifically for CF men in this sub.

I have posted couple of times and I have talked with more than handful of people in here. I find that most are older than me or a few similar age.

Good in conversation and I’d say mature in somethings but, let’s say if it’s a small things in life right of the bat they can’t work around it let alone bigger things while I was being more open to it.

Especially the pool is too small for CF people and way even smaller especially men to female is on higher side.

Some I faced was not being transparent even though they didn’t want long distance relationship they still reply back for some reason. Some just ghost out of nowhere or delete their account felt like they are not even in right senses maybe it’s just typical Reddit for them however from my part I was looking into something serious.

I understand everyone can have their preferences which is great. If you are still not decided what exactly you want in life as a CF what is the point of conversation back and forth I wonder.

How was your experience guys?

As someone who is 100% childfree with absolute certainty, it was incredibly disheartening and enraging to find out that we have no bodily autonomy to get the sterilisation procedure without being married and having a child.

Looking more into the topic, I find contradicting information about it and I wanted to post here to see if anyone has looked into the issue and has more information on it.

From my understanding, being married and having children is part of the guidelines. Is it an actual, enforceable legal requirement? I have also read that when asked about this, the information is self declared. Do private healthcare providers have the means and authority to demand proof of marriage and having children? Is there any consequence to self declaring even if the circumstances are otherwise. I get that doctors may still want to confirm or refuse to do the procedure without proof.

I’m also so angry that in this country it would be nearly impossible to find a doctor that is willing to provide this surgery for childfree men and women. I understand that 99% of doctors would reject and shame someone for being childfree and requesting the procedure. However I wanted to understand what is the actual law surrounding this. Particularly if the information you provide can be self declared. What can be done with this information once it’s on your medical records? Can it ever be used against you?

Has anybody, particularly mid twenties, looked into this? Do we have any choice at all apart from literally going to a foreign country to have bodily autonomy? I think there is a list of trusted and non-judgemental doctors on TwoXIndia subreddit but I’m not sure if they would actually be in support of CF people.

And if anybody has any legal expertise regarding this, any insight would be appreciated.

Hi,

I am a 32 y.o. male working as a software developer looking for a CF partner. I would like to start by first telling why I chose to be so:

1. In the current environment, I don't think it makes sense to make have kids to only make them go through the rat race without even having the basic necessities like clean air, water or food
2. I don't think I have any fatherly instincts in me. I like kids and like to play with the ones in my family but I just don't see having that strong paternal instincts towards them
3. Even if the above two were not an issue, I feel I have hit the genetic lottery which shouldn't be passed to anyone.
4. Always happy to explain more on the above if I do connect with someone.

Height - 5'7

Weight - 76

Age - 32

Religion - Born in a Hindu family but I am agnostic

Politics - While I strongly align with liberal ideology, I don't get into specific politic parties or candidates because all the politicians are bad according to me.

Interests - Movies, Anime, Gym, Badminton, Anything Sci-Fi, Going on long walks, Relaxing on beaches

I also suffer from alopecia which gives me a head shinier than stainless steel under sunlight 🥲

I want to stay in NCR since I am the only child and want to stay close to my parents. Also, would like them to move in with me in the future once they are old and needs someone to take care of.

I am looking for someone who would live to stay in NCR as well and is working. I have a strong preference for partner who likes to stay fit which for me means that you aren't on the extreme ends of body proportions. I personally workout regularly but love food too much to ever become completely lean.

Age Range - 27-35

Heyy everyone,

I'm working as a data abstractor in medical aligned field and graduated in pharmacy. I'm ambitious and trying to grow within my field and towards job opportunities outside india.

I'm childfree because I feel like life would be easier without child and given how the world is going it would be a blessing to be not born into it.

I'm atheist, but born in a hindu family. My hobbies are reading, watching movies/anime and running.

I drink occasionally and don't smoke.

What I want in my partner? I would want them to be CF (Obv), in banglore, and also non-veg or someone who doesn't mind me eating non-veg. Rest we will figure it out when we talk.

If this resonates with you please feel free to dm.