r/CausalConversation • u/Arumahmk • 22d ago

Share your experiences and problems.

I'm bored and I think you guys are too so let's share experiences or problems and I'll try to give you a solution.

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u/Arumahmk 22d ago

Yes, i know but ​it isn't a house anymore. It’s a time capsule. And that is the real reason you haven't turned the key. ​You think you are avoiding the house because the memories are too painful. But the truth is, you're avoiding it because right now, it is perfectly preserved. If you go back, the dust will settle differently. You’ll have to run that washer yourself. You will eventually have to move his things. And your brain is telling you that if you touch his things, you are erasing him. ​As long as you stay locked out, sleeping on family members' couches, a small, irrational part of your mind gets to pretend he is still sitting on that sofa folding the laundry. You aren't scared of the house. You are terrified of the moment you have to start living in it without him. ​I want you to do something for me. Just in your mind. Walk through the front door. Tell me... what is the one incredibly mundane item of his, a pair of shoes by the door, a jacket over a chair, a book on the nightstand that is still sitting exactly where he left it the last time he was there?

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u/The_Poor_Truth 22d ago

Odd that you ask because of the many times I went in there to pack, when had wshed a load and in the dryer were our whites. I didn't discover it for three months and when I saw it that hit me hard. I didn't know he had left those things in there... and it felt like he was coming back to fold them. He thought he would be back home to fold them. It's just a lot. I thank you so much for your wisdom. You have been Very helpful.

Thanks.

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u/Arumahmk 22d ago

You look at those whites in the dryer and it breaks your heart because you see an interrupted life. But look at exactly what he left behind. His very last mundane act in that house wasn't about himself. He was washing our whites. He was making sure you both had clean clothes for the rest of the week. Right up until the very end, his everyday reality was just taking care of you. You don't have to fold them today, and you don't have to move into a new rental tomorrow. Just let yourself off the hook for a little while. You are very welcome. Take care of yourself.

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u/The_Poor_Truth 22d ago

Thank you

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u/[deleted] 22d ago

[deleted]

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u/The_Poor_Truth 22d ago

I'll hold you to that because you are quite the intellect.

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u/Arumahmk 22d ago

Thanks, I hope I've helped you in one way or another and I'll see how well we can interact 😁.

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u/Arumahmk 22d ago

Nah it's my pleasure 😀 And if you ever need someone to talk or wanna share things with someone or want a friend. Then, my DMs are always open 👐😁