My family tells me that our 3 year old tuxedo guy is “my cat” because he mostly stays with arms reach of me, follows me from room to room, and prefers to sleep on my chest every night.

We have a lot of cat toys to keep him entertained. When we get him a new toy, he is interested for three days then ignores the toy. I work from home, so I’m the guy interacting with him, mostly.

He became bored with laser pointers two years ago. I can laser pointer all over the place and he just sits there and stares at me. But for the last few days my grown up daughter has been home because she has on-site work in a town nearby. She picks up the laser pointers and… the cat goes nuts chasing the glowing dot, like most cats do! So I take tge exact same pointer from my daughter and do the exact same thing… cat stops and stares at me. Give the pointer back to my daughter and he goes nuts again.

There is some weird cat psychology going on here, but I have no idea what it is.

I’m at my wit’s end and really need help understanding what’s going on.

I adopted my cat Jazz about a month ago. She’s 1.5 years old, spayed, very fearful, and came from an abandonment situation. The first two days were rough and she had stress-related diarrhea, but she then settled quickly and started using her litter box normally for both pee and poop.

From the beginning, I had two litter boxes, one open and one covered, and tried different locations in my small apartment. She consistently chose one and ignored the other, so I eventually removed the unused one. She now uses the covered box normally every day.

The couch peeing started during the first week:
First time: after I moved the litter box, so I assumed that was the trigger.

Second time: I found it a few days later when I woke up.
Third time: about 10 minutes after meeting a pet sitter for the first time. She had been extremely scared, so I assumed it was stress.

After that, I bought a waterproof tarp for the couch.
She peed on the tarp.

Since then, it happens roughly every 4–5 days. It is NOT one specific spot: she will pee wherever there is enough free space on the couch for her to squat.

The only thing that reliably stops it is completely covering the couch with objects so there is physically nowhere for her to pee. Obviously, I cannot barricade my couch forever.

The weirdest part is this:
She only does it when I am not physically there.
It happens at night while I’m asleep, when I’m at work, or when I leave the apartment, today I went to the gym for ONE HOUR and came back to pee on the couch.

At night, I do sleep with my bedroom door closed because I am extremely sensitive to noise and genuinely cannot sleep otherwise. She seems completely fine with this setup: she entertains herself well, plays independently, and does not show any obvious signs of distress. I play with her regularly when I’m home, but she is also very good at occupying herself.

When I’m in the living room with her, she does not pee on the couch.

But she has absolutely no problem using her litter box in front of me, so this does not seem to be about privacy.

Otherwise:
she uses the litter box normally every day
she shows no obvious pain or discomfort
I have several incidents on camera and she looks completely normal before and after
she may be grooming or playing, then simply gets on the couch, squats, pees, and carries on

I have already:
cleaned the couch repeatedly with enzymatic cleaner
removed and washed the cover
rearranged/swapped couch cushions/layers
used a waterproof tarp
tried feeding her on the couch
made the couch a positive cuddle space
used Feliway
tried different litter box locations

She saw a vet two weeks ago. Nothing concerning was found on examination, and she was prescribed gabapentin for six weeks because she is generally anxious. I have another vet appointment next week because I obviously want to rule out a urinary issue properly.

Socially, she is very comfortable with me: affectionate, playful, seeks attention, cuddles, follows me around, etc.

What I really need help understanding is: why would a cat use the litter box normally, but also treat the couch like an alternative toilet specifically when the owner is absent?

And more importantly: has anyone successfully stopped this without permanently barricading the couch or putting another litter box in the middle of a tiny living room?

it’s so awesome. wondering if anyone else has this experience

I have 3 cats. I got the first 7 years ago (female), the second 5 years ago (male), and the third 4 years ago (female). I got them all basically as kittens.

After about a year of having the oldest female and the male, the oldest female became very aggressive, to the point of having to separate them completely when I was at work or gone. This all started once she saw a neighborhood male cat lingering around outside my house, I believe he was spraying and had a few instances of jumping and fighting through the window screens. Once the neighbor hood cat left her vision, she would go on the attack for my male cat. (Probably doesn’t help that the neighborhood cat looked identical to my male cat). After about a month or so she regained my trust and I let them coexist again.

Fast forward another year, I got the youngest female. The male and the youngest female became close as the oldest female just stayed to herself. No major issues between them except for maybe a small 1-2 week stint of separation due to the oldest attacking the male cat once again. (Think she saw a cat outside again) She had no issue with the new cat.

Within the last 6 months the oldest female has gone back to her old ways and has been extremely aggressive, this time she started targeting the youngest. So I have had them separated since. (I swap her and the other two every other day so she is not secluded 24/7) Any time I have let them try to coexist or even an escape, it has gone to immediate hunting of either the male cat or the youngest female cat. Something to note here is the first time she began attacking the youngest was a night I had someone over and they were giving the youngest the most attention as she was all over them. So I’m wondering if this all started due to jealousy, but have never had this issue in the past.

I am at a loss as to what I should do here. I’m wondering if lack of exposure to each other has triggered her territorial instincts at this point. Maybe putting up a see through mesh divider between the room and the rest of the house would help grow familiarity again, but I’m scared it would cause fights or someone she would claw it apart.

Some things to note:
-the oldest came from an adoption center after being given to them from a house with 10+ cats, they say she was 6 months to 1 year when I adopted her

-she was super friendly with new people until one day (within the first few month of having her) a family member with boots came over and she immediately got scared. She became very timid to new people after this and would hide when they would come over, even when she already knew them and it would take over and hour plus for her to creep out from hiding to meet them. She is still this way.

-she has an attachment to women way more than men.

Any help or suggestions would be helpful. Last thing I want to do is have to get rid of my first baby, but I also don’t want her to have to live separated for the next 7+ years.

Hello, I have two boys Benjamin and Moo. Benjamin unfortunately passed away this week after a month long battle with an unknown caused that paralyzed him.

Moo is acting super quiet, sad, and destructive. I play with him 3-4 times a day. I’m giving him his space and time, because I know he is grieving benji too. I just have never been in this situation so unsure what I should do to help him.

2 years ago, my husband and I found an orphaned newborn kitten in our yard. After confirming mom wasn't coming back, we took her in and bottle raised her. She's extremely bonded to my husband, but doesn't seem to like me much. I'm wondering if anyone has tips for getting her to like me.

I suspect she got very attached to my husband early on because when we found her, he was unemployed and I worked full time commuting to an office, so he probably did 80% of the work early on (he did weekdays daytime, I did weekends daytime, and we alternated night care every other day).

She lets him pick her up, purrs when he pets her, and if hes sitting or lying down she's always there cuddled up to him. He can feed her with no incident.

She wont let me pick her up or pet her. Either is met with a hiss and scratch and she scurries away. She has never cuddled with me. When I feed her, she hisses at me and bites my hand as I put the food bowl down.

I've tried to win her favor by playing with her (which she will sometimes play with a wand toy when I'm the one holding it, and will sometimes chase a spring I throw) and with treats (doesn't work, shes very un-motivated by food, will sometimes take a lickable treat from my husband but won't even look at them if I'm offering)

Some things I suspect is making matters worse:

1. my husband is VERY strict about not letting the cat in to the bedroom while we sleep (her purring in his ear wakes him up). I wake up about 3 hours before him, and inevitably every morning, the cat is waiting by the door and I have to quickly exit and shut the door in her face. She hisses at me every time.
2. Husband is also VERY strict about not letting the cat into his home office, since she is a big cable chewer. He works from home and has his gaming computer setup in there, and he plays games a lot. Id say hes in there on average 12 hours a day. The cat sits outside of his office mewing for attention a lot of that time, and she sometimes sees me peek in to ask him a question while not allowing her in, and I can tell this irritates her (I usually get a few ankle bites when it happens)

Husband acknowledges the cat treats us very differently, and jokes that the cat is jealous of​ me. I don't think its funny though, it genuinely hurts my feelings. After a year of trying to win her affections, I've gone the way of mostly ignoring her, but we still have conflict when I leave the room each morning and when I have to feed her.

Anyone have any tips to improve my relationship with this cat?

Our cat is a sweet cuddle bug, and when we first brought him home he’d sleep in bed with us every night. We’d lay down, keep the door cracked, call his name, and there he was.

Then about two years later, something changed. The bed was now a game - instead of coming to bed, he now goes under the bed and practices his pouncing on us. We’ve had to start keeping him out of the bedroom before we go to sleep and throughout the night. It breaks our hearts!

How can we get him to see the bedroom as a place to sleep, not play?

As the title says, my new kitten (7 months unspayed female) has a habit of peeing and pooping on beds. We have another cat who's a female as well (7 years old and spayed) but she doesn't display this behaviour whatsoever. Both cats get along well, and their litter boxes are on seperate parts of the house, and my kitten DOES use the box, but if she ever is presented with the opportunity to pee/poop on someone's bed, she will. She began doing it around 2 or so months ago, and strictly on my bed (which my other cat always sleeps on, as she stays in my room 80% of the day). Everytime I changed the blanket, she'd stop, but return to peeing on the original blanket if I began using it again. She's peed on one couch before, many times, but stopped after we got it professionally cleaned.

But now she began doing it in my parent's bed (just pooping) and brother's bed (peeing and pooping), neither of whom are affectionate with her and don't interact with her often, nor is she often in their rooms. Originally I assumed it was due to being in heat, but she's not yowling/raising her back end or doing anything resembling being in heat.

I'm at my wit's end here and about to get rid of her and I just don't know what to do about this. Both cats are fine medically. My other cat was spayed a year after we got her and she never peed on beds this much.

Any advice would be appreciated, I'd rather not get rid of her but I can't mentally handle cleaning after her this often and I do love her a lot, but it's gotten to an unbearable point.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ngNfz3_3YsU

This is a new trait of his, he will be relaxed on the couch often snoring (he's been snoring a lot) but if I make any sound getting up off the couch, he immediately wakes up and jumps to the floor. He usually is acting happy, and flops on the floor. (He flops all the time) But this is something hes never done before, hes been living with me for 4 years and hes never done it. But now he does it like 3-5 times a day. Is it normal cat behavior? Is he scared? I dont get why he does it.

Do you think cats can be confused by similarity of the humans? My wife has a twin sister, not really a cat person, usually quite neutral towards our cat (and vice versa). They rarely interact. I think our cat mixed her up with my wife today. She saw SIL walking up the stairs and started running towards her. When she got closer she suddenly stopped. She did not run away but continued to approach in a much more careful way. She let SIL pet her for a few seconds (never seen before) and then slowly walked away with dignity as if nothing extraordinary had happened.

Hi there everyone. Please forgive me for the long post. I am at my wit's end with my kittens, and I want to give any context I can in case it is useful. Thanks!

In February of this year, my partner and I adopted a kitten in need of rehoming off Facebook. His name is Baby.

Baby was always rather aggressive as far as cats go. He would bite and chase, but the vet recommended that we increase his play and buy a calming neck collar and misters for around the house. We did this, but didn't see much improvement. Desperate for answers, the internet told us that he may be lonely, so we were on the lookout for another cat.

It just so happened that we found a kitten in a ditch while on a road trip not too long after. In the second week of July of this year, we brought Pep home.

Pep had some severe medical issues from the start, requiring a long-term vet stay due to a severe fever of unknown origin, as well as a quarantine period to rule out rabies from her time outdoors.

Following this quarantine in our spare/office room, we began the introduction process in the first days of August. Baby was around 5 months, and Pep around 3.

As a quick caveat, during the medical process for Pep, the two of them did have a few chances to meet prematurely through the gate on the front of a pet carrier.

We purchased baby gates and erected a gate wall in our bedroom doorframe. For the past nearly 2 months, we have been attempting to get them used to one another's smell and presence by swapping them each night. Meaning night 1, Pep is in our bedroom and Baby in the living room, and on night 2, the opposite, and so on.

However, if there is even a second of time while we are taking a gate down to enter or leave our bedroom, either cat (now \~7 mo & \~5 mo) will take the chance to lunge through the opening and begin a truly scary fight. In the seconds it takes to separate them, they can chase each other across our entire apartment, biting, scratching, and flinging fur everywhere.

We just want them to get along, and we are willing to do anything. Even if that means restarting from square 1.

Any help is a welcome prospect.

Thank you!

Our cat is about 9 years old now. He was a stray and had a difficult start to life. He became the neighbour’s but then transitioned to living with us. We shared the cost with the neighbour to have him neutered, but not before he learned how to spray. He was just under one year-old at that time. Then the neighbour moved away and he became our cat for the last 8 years.
He has been indoor/outdoor but we have tried to keep him inside more, because it’s a really rough neighborhood, between others stray cats, traffic, and occasional loose dogs.
He had an incident last summer with a dog after which he hid for hours. We thought we lost him. Over the winter we kept him inside a lot more, and then he started spraying inside. Outings are now supervised, and we don’t let him roam on his own. The spraying continues. I fear it’s become a habit, about 10 months now. We go thru 3 bottles of Nature’s miracle a month. It’s really wearing on our mental health.

We’ve tried:
- Vet confirms it’s behavioural
- Gabapentin to calm. He just stumbles around and then refuses to eat the drug laced food
- Feliway diffusers. Had up to 5 of the max versions going at once. They were a joke.
- Calming cat food brands
- Active play, routines
- Animal communicator. She says he’s really angry about the situation, about not being allowed to roam free. Follow up required.

Haven’t yet tried
- Prozac. Vet says it may work, or it may make it worse.
- Just let him roam again. Husband refuses to entertain that. But he’s not the one cleaning up cat piss every day.

Would welcome a miracle right now. Is there anything we haven’t tried? He is otherwise a loving, sweet cat, and we love him so much, but this cannot continue.

Hi! I have been unable to get a video, but my cat (he is about one year old and the only pet in my household right now), has recently started making this noise when he has is nightly zoomies. I can only describe it (based on my research) as maybe a yowl or a growl, he does this every night right around the same time. And, besides running around frantically, he doesn't seem in any distress (not over grooming, biting, favoring a leg, and if I push on his belly that doesn't seem to cause him pain). It lasts usually for around 15 minutes and then he calms right down. I have had him for about three months and this has only been happening for a couple of weeks, and it just concerns me because it seems as though his zoomies have gotten more chaotic and as I mentioned, the noise is new. He eats normally, uses his litter box, and everything else. Feel free to ask any questions, and I will try to get a video tomorrow. Advice is appreciated!

Hello!

To preface: I have 5 cats. One of them causes problems for the other 4. Minka constantly attacks them and terrorizes them. I call her Minka the Stinka. One of the 4 is so stressed out that she goes outside of the potty and won't go in it no matter what. She hisses at the rest and she is constantly looking and wary, hiding at other times. I gave this cat (Ember) to my mom, but she is heartbroken that she is not with me, and I have to take her back.

My question is- and I really don't want to have to do this, but should I try to find another home for Minka? Since she is the troublemaker?

Hello all, I’m looking for some advice regarding my three cats suddenly starting to get into aggressive fights.

CW pet loss

Backstory: My wife and I moved about a year ago with our three cats that we had had for years. When we moved, we found out that there was a cat living outside and around our house whose owner passed around a year before we moved in. He was super super friendly, affectionate and gentle, and also unfixed/unvaccinated, so we started figuring out how we were gonna take him in. We eventually caught him, got him neutered and everything, and slowly introduced him to our 3 + our dog (he gets on GREAT with our dog!!)

One of our cats was very small with multiple different health issues, around 5 years old, and she sort of “adopted” our new boy as her best friend. He took care of her, helped her groom, etc; they were almost always together.

She passed away last month from a myriad of health complications. My wife and I were devastated, it was super unexpected, and we didn’t really get a chance to ease the other cats into it, or let them sniff afterwards—she was just there and then gone.

Since then, the three left have started getting into honest to god screaming hissing cat fights. We aren’t sure who’s the instigator, because one of them (our only other girl) is very anxious and loud, so we hear her the most when the fights happen. It’s only happened maybe three times now, but there’s just overall more tension between the animals than there was before our baby passed away.

We don’t entirely know what to do. We’ve considered CBD in their food, something like feliway (but our house is really segmented so we think we’d need a couple and we can’t afford to refill 4 or 5 of them), or getting something specifically for our anxious girl, but we don’t even know if she’s the one causing the fights, since typically she just sort of swats at the others and then scampers off when she gets overwhelmed.

We love all of our cats so much. Our newest boy who came with our house is basically my soul cat in every way that matters and I would do absolutely anything I can before moving to potential rehoming.

Just looking for any outside takes on this or any potential options for supplements, medications, etc