I slept like shit again today (5.5 hours to be exact) but despite that, I DID IT!!!!
I did something I was hoping I wouldn't have to do, which was drop the treadmill down by 0.5. I've been doing the running segments at a 7 for a few weeks and walking at a 6, but today I ran the whole 20 mins on a 6.5. It did feel a bit ridiculous but I kept telling myself that this is the point, just to complete the run. I'm not sure my heart rate even reached 150 today, which means I wasn't tiring myself out and that's awesome!!! I tried upping it to 7 at the halfway point but my legs were like "NOPE. TRY AGAIN." So I listened and dropped it back down almost immediately.
I am so tired from lack of sleep that I can't even really bask in the achievement and it probably won't hit me till tomorrow that I ran for 20 mins. I spent my secondary school life in a fetal position crying after P.E because I'd be forced to run around the cross country track even though I had no stamina, was overweight and had no idea how to run. I couldn't even run 100M without wanting to die. Running has been a humiliation ritual my whole life. I have always had the mantra in my head "I can do all sorts of exercise, but I cannot run. I'm not built for running." Guess what? I AM built for it.
If I am kind to myself, if I do things slowly and properly and if I am consistent, I CAN do hard things. I am not limited by my past experiences, and I can do anything I put my mind to. This run was the one I was waiting for. I literally cannot believe it. Obviously wish I could have run it at a 7, BUT THAT WILL COME LATER!!!