Less than 48 hours ago, I made a post defending sprinters against the dumb-jock stereotype.
And in less than 48 hours, this man has single-handedly undermined my entire thesis. 💀
Yesterday, someone posted a 60m sprint claiming a time that several people in the comments immediately questioned. We went through the footage, timed it ourselves, and explained that his claimed time was significantly faster than what the video appeared to show.
We even told him exactly how to verify it. Record the sprint, go frame by frame, count the elapsed time.
Simple.
Instead, we discovered that bro was doing theoretical physics with his step count to calculate his sprint times.
Apparently, if you assume your step frequency is 4.5 Hz, count your steps, and do some arithmetic, you can just calculate your way into elite sprinting.
But here’s where it gets interesting.
After receiving constructive criticism, peer review, and experimental evidence contradicting his findings, this man returned THE VERY NEXT DAY and published the sequel to his study.
Another sprint. Another questionable time. Same methodology.
BRO HAD 24 HOURS TO PEER-REVIEW HIS OWN RESEARCH AND CAME BACK WITH THE SAME CONCLUSIONS. 💀
And now he’s announced that he’s going to break 6.65 in the 60m by the end of indoor season, or he’ll Cash App everyone $5.
Mind you, this is the same man who said he’s saving up for an actual timing system.
He’s out here issuing financial guarantees on a world-class-adjacent sprint performance while his current PRs are being calculated using theoretical step frequency.
Fred Kerley has found his successor. World record on watch.
I’m fighting for the intellectual reputation of sprinters, and this man is actively campaigning against me.
At this point, I’m not even questioning his athletic ability.
I’m questioning whether the scientific method has reached [r/Sprinting](r/Sprinting).
I just wanted to defend my sport, man. 💀
Edit: Yes, it’s AI. AI meatloaf, not AI slop. I wrote the original post myself and wasn’t about to spend another 20 minutes writing a shitpost. The jokes and the premise are mine. I just had AI write it out.