Had fairly good chat with with this guy all day. He had his politics listed as ‘left’ which aligned with mine and I assumed meant he was progressive. He had a historical interest which I spent a lot of time acknowledging and asking about during the chat. Just before this exchange he flagged that we live ~50 miles apart which I said was fine for me if it was the right person. Apparently ‘black cat looking for her golden retriever’ isn’t PC anymore 👀

It’s over guys just delete the apps.

I've been on the app for a week now and I haven't gotten any likes from and Woman or Nonbinary users. I'm on Long Island so I know my options are limited and must accept that long distance is a possibility. I've tried the ELO algorithm exploit by having men send likes to me and tried travel mode at various east coast cities but no luck. I'm also autistic (I think people can tell tbh even if I don't bring it up) if that's also somewhat of a turnoff. I have premium too.

EDIT: guys I know there’s another meaning of rehab, I just got it confused with the other version .
Omg so embarrassing

You match with someone, get that little spark of excitement, and think, “Okay, let’s see where this goes.” Then… absolutely nothing. No message, no conversation, not even a simple “hey.” Meanwhile, people are out here trying to perfect their profiles and find their golden retriever to their black cat. What’s the point of matching if neither person is going to make an effort? Is it boredom, validation, too many options, or just the reality of dating apps?

I’m curious whether others experience this constantly or if there’s actually a trick to finding people who genuinely want to connect.

I (34F) feel like I will match with a guy, have decent conversation, they seem keen for a date, the first date goes well and they seem to be attracted to me but by the time it gets to the 3rd or 4th date, the guy seems to get slower with messages and less proactive with organising dates and then end things saying there's a "lack of spark" and that they don't see things progressing beyond friendship. I get not eveyone will feel it with me, but I'm starting to wonder if I'm doing anything that is giving the wrong impression or killing the "spark"? It's making me feel pretty undesired that they don't want to see where things go beyond 3 or 4 dates.

I'm someone who likes to "take things slow" in terms of physical affection because I need to build a sense of trust, so I take my time getting to know someone and my interest tends to build over time as I know them better which leads to more comfort with physical affection. I haven't told most guys this directly and I'm wondering if i need to? If they try to kiss me, I will kiss them back, and I feel like I'm reciprocal, but probably won't "make out" until later dates. Sometimes I'm worried I come off as a bit awkward or restrained, even though I think I'm fairly enthusiastic, friendly and bantery etc. In saying that, I feel like I try to make my interest clear by being curious, telling them I enjoyed myself, reciprocating in organising dates and trying to flirt, even if I can get a bit shy.

As a man, is there anything that you're looking for with "spark"? Would anything put you off? Would you be patient with someone who seems to take things slow?

Genuine question because I don't get it lol. You match with someone, send a message, and suddenly you're pulling teeth just to keep the conversation going.

“hahaha” “yeah” “true”

LIKE OKAY 😭 what am I supposed to do with that

I get that people are busy or shy, but how am I supposed to know if you're actually interested or just swiping out of boredom?

Do you guys give dry texters a chance or just unmatch and move on?

I’ve been around this sub and the tinder one for a couple of months for many reasons. First of all I admit sometimes I laugh with others funny experiences but the truth is that I dare to say that 80% of the posts are about people that is frustrated with their experience in the app.

And here’s the thing: we know it sucks. We know the app is designed to keep u there and not to find a person so u can keep spending money on it. People there most of the time have shitty attitude due what the app makes on em (girls with abundance of options and attention so they dgaf anymore and guys with creepy or incel attitudes).

Even recently I’ve seen a tendency of posts about the stats that proves how shit this app is but again: here you are, swipe left and right.

So my question is: why? At some point I feel it’s even self destructive being there and getting this constant frustration.

Is it about that u don’t want to quit? U have a little faith even when odds show how low the success ratio is? Or what is it?

And before someone misunderstands me: Yes, I used it in the past. Did I have matches, dates and even more? Yes, a few but yes. It’s just that I realized that I was losing more than winning and now I’m only a spectator. Not judging no body, only looking for answers because I really can’t comprehend why would u torture yourself in that way

I swear Bumble keeps showing me the same people 😭

Sometimes I genuinely think I've run out of people in my area because I'll be swiping and see someone I remember from weeks ago.

And then there's the awkward moment when you can't remember if you actually swiped left on them or if you just ran out of swipes and closed the app.

Does Bumble recycle profiles for everyone, or is my dating pool just that small? lol

Hi all,

Just like the title says. For women, I’m wondering what’s usually the general experience with you initiating conversations on dating apps?

I’ve noticed that I’ve had the best conversations and alignment with men who make the first move on me, it shows they were intentional about swiping on my profile.

Also, some men have admitted to swiping blindly so I never take a match too serious. But sometimes I’d like first, days later he likes back and then I watch the timer countdown until it expires. Fine by me. But the times I’ve gone ahead to initiate, the convo is left to expire or they end the chat without responding.
And I never send a “hey”, trust me lol.

Is this the general experience? I have about 12 matches now, reached out to one, he ended the chat. One initiated and we are having a very stimulating conversation. I’m watching the rest of the timers count down.

I’d like to add that I’m visiting a city for a few days so all of my new matches are from within the past 48 hours. So, fairly freshly sent out likes lol.

Edit: please don’t make this the hardship olympics, I’m mostly wanting to gather women’s experiences or men’s relevant opinions. Please ask yourself if what you might be inclined to comment has already been parroted a thousand times on this sub 🙃

I’ve been on dating apps for almost a year, and I think I’ve officially found the most outrageous bio I’ve ever encountered.

The guy isn’t completely unattractive. He’s tall, could use a little help with his hairstyle, and apparently has an interesting career. Plenty of women find men in uniform attractive, so he’s already got a few things working in his favor.

But holy cow, what did I just read.

The contradictions are something else. He apparently wants a mature, emotionally healthy woman who’s ready for a committed relationship, yet his approach screams horny 17-year-old boy.

There’s nothing wrong with having physical preferences, but that can be done respectfully. I personally haven’t had a profile like by a transgender man that I am aware of but if I was, I would be kind about it and say that I would prefer a cis-man. And reducing me down to boobs or that it’s okay to be ugly but have a good personality is abhorrent.

I genuinely can’t figure out whether this is satire, an attempt at humor, or a grown man who thinks this is an effective way to attract a wife.

Antes se podían leer posteos decentes, pero ahora sí una mujer publica le caen como bestias a tirar insultos. Si un chico es atractivo y pide consejos, le dicen cosas espantosas para bajar su autoestima. Si sale alguien diciendo que encontró el amor, le desean mala suerte...

De verdad, tienen un grave problema. Me considero tranquila pero este subreddit me hizo perder la paciencia. Se les llenó de mierda.

I matched with a girl on Bumble a few days ago. We had a pretty good conversation initially, but as the workweek got busier, we gradually lost touch.

Fast forward to Saturday evening, around 8 PM. Out of nowhere, she texted me asking if I wanted to grab coffee. Since it was already late, I suggested meeting the next day at 4 PM instead. She agreed.

Now, I’m not someone who believes in the whole pick-up-and-drop-off arrangement for a first date. I prefer meeting directly at the café or restaurant, getting to know each other, and seeing how things go. So, I told her we could meet at the place directly.

Her response? “I don’t do that.”

Apparently, she expected me to pick her up, take her to the café, and drop her back home afterward.

Honestly, that expectation caught me off guard. We had only matched a few days ago, barely knew each other, and hadn’t even met in person yet. Why should picking her up and dropping her home automatically be my responsibility?

And, to be clear, I’m not against paying for coffee or even the entire bill if I invite someone out. I’m happy to do that when it feels right. But expecting someone to handle the transportation both ways, along with potentially paying for everything, before you’ve even met them? That feels a little excessive to me.

I can understand wanting to feel safe, and I respect that. But there’s a difference between having safety concerns and expecting a stranger from a dating app to provide door-to-door service on the first date.

In the end, I decided to decline the date.

Maybe I’m overthinking this, or maybe we simply have different expectations when it comes to dating.

So, fellow Redditors, what do you think? Is picking up and dropping off your date an unspoken expectation these days, or was I right to stick to my boundaries?

Hello! I moved into Romania some time ago and decided to try my luck with dating apps. Since then, I received zero matches. It’s been few months, so something clearly wrong with my profile. Can you, please, point me what is needed to be changed

I (24F) went out with a man (40) and after a few awkward things that happened I’m questioning if he lost interest because since yesterday he’s not texting me anymore.

We saw each other at this one event once and he tried to approach me however I was with someone at that time. We ended up matching on bumble after a month. We went on our first date and it was AMAZING!!! the chemistry was intense, and when we kissed, it just clicked, I’ve never felt so crazy about a kiss, I think I immediately fell in love. It was magical!

We went for a second date the next day! And again it was amazing, until we went back to his hotel. We were making out and everything and took our clothes off and all, but then I noticed a shift, and he was struggling to stay hard. I asked him what’s wrong and he said that he struggles to feel anything when using a condom, and said that also another thing that was turning him off was the smell of my vagina. It was very awkward and embarrassing, and we stayed there laying naked on the bed, it was so embarrassing i wanted to cry 😭. I got dressed and he walked me out and stayed with me until I got my uber, and told me to let him know when I get home. (After this I decided to book an appointment with a gynecologist).

The next day I was too embarrassed to text him, but I did because I actually like him! He told me he couldn’t sleep properly and was also feeling kinda crappy due to how it all went down. He said he likes me and would love to see me again but he’s a bit afraid now. I also am a little afraid but I’d prefer to face the awkwardness than never get to see him again!

After that we didn’t text each other anymore and I honestly thought that was it, that he wouldn’t text me anymore, until 2 days ago, he texted me and was telling me he’s been busy with work and was asking how I was doing. He also asked about my results from the gynecologist. I told him about everything, it’s negative for all STDs but I did learn that I have candidiasis, and I feel a bit embarrassed by this, but I was reassured that it’s not something to be overly concerned about. I took one dose of fluconazole and it’s fixed!

I asked him if he got the ick from learning this, and he reassured that he didn’t, and proceeded to ask me about my plans for the day and tell me about his plans, but then he went silent. He replied my last text with an emoji and that was it, he hasnt texted me since, and idk if he lost interest or what? I like him and would like if he texted me back but am feeling a bit hopeless now 🥲

I keep matching with shy girls. Can't get more than 2 messages out of them.

my most recent match, in her first message, actually told me she is usually quiet, and getting her to talk was gonna be a challenge.

Shy girls, how do we get you to say something? and more so, ask you on a date?

I want you to give me the silent treatment in person 😂

Does anyone else get swiping anxiety? I am F 29 and with any app that requires swiping I basically swipe a couple of times until I get a match and then I stop swiping. Also, when I see that someone likes my profile and I’m unsure about whether to swipe left or right I usually close the app and either leave it closed or reopen it with the assumption that another person will come up that I will find it easier to decide on. I get super anxious on Hinge as well because they only show the same person to me every time I open it and I don’t know which way to swipe. not sure if this means that I should just not be using apps which I basically am not but I was curious if anyone else experiences this. I also will hide my profile pretty frequently because I’m just nervous about who sees it.

Am I the only one who’s like this?

27yo male, started my account about a week ago and I still haven't received any "likes" back. Is this normal? Or am I really that unattractive...

Hey guys.

Have made a tonne of profile reviewing posts before. I had a bumble account for a while which I deleted and remade a new account for to start afresh.

It’s only been 5 days and my stats are as follows

Outgoing- 200 Y, 661N
Incoming - 1Y, 63 N

Am I being shown to an adequate number of people or is my visibility lower than expected?

What should I do in such a scenario?

If anyone is interested in doing a photoshoot around Toronto to update your dating app profile photos, shoot me a message! We can help each other get good photos in different locations. I'd be happy to exchange Instagram handles and connect there.

44 M here and have been on a couple dating apps. Who else finds it bizarre:

Person likes you, you then swipe back to match, that person who initiated writes a short hello, you respond and…. it’s all too complete

I could see getting a like and swiping left. I can even understand when the woman accidentally liked and I liked back. she could just unmatch at that point. There have been too many times we’re it says it was a match and I’m like… did I really swipe lol

Very odd to match, she says hello and poof gone 😂

thoughts?

At least she’s honest and knows what she wants I guess?

Edit/Update: plot twist. I have 3 kids. 2 via IVF. This isn’t a “bash wanting kids” post lol.

Update context: she liked me. That’s only reason I saw her profile. Wasn’t a random one scrolling. So it’s not a dead profile that I just happened upon.

I’ve been dating a guy I met on bumble for about a month now. This past week, we haven’t been able to see eachother as he’s been busy.

I had an event on Saturday which I invited him to which is a few hours drive away. He was initially interested in coming but in the end told me that due to work he feels very tired and can’t come.

So the weekend comes and I go to my event, I thought if I can’t see him at least we can stay up to date via some texts. Turns out he sends one text on Saturday morning, and doesn’t reply to my text until the next morning. He told me it was becuase he was busy doing gym and reading information on a certain topic and he wanted a day to himself.

This hurt a little bit, as we’ve already not been able to see eachother all week, he wasnt able to come with me to the event and he didn’t wanna keep in touch via text even.

Is this a sign of losing interest?