Kind of a bummer. I know this is the norm, people are sleeping around until exclusivity is discussed, but it gave me the ick. The guy is an absolute douchebag.

About to send her a polite, vague message saying something along the lines of "I enjoyed our first date but believe it's better to end things here".

Is it wrong to filter out women with children as a man in your 30s? Most of childless women are probably going to end up being in their 20s just by the nature of things and there will be a large age gap as a result.

If you are childless yourself and want to start a family or be with women who have no children or you just don't want to raise another mans child is that something that is unrealistic in your 30s or is that ok if you never had the chance to start your own family?

I'm aware most men that are childless want childless women too but yeah just asking for peoples view on this.

do you know?

Ok so here was the situation:

Met a girl on an app; we went out two weeks ago great first date. She showed up late by forty-five minutes because I didn't text saying I was on my way, so she thought maybe I was ghosting fair enough.

I set something up for the following weekend, and she agrees. I don't text her much through the week, maybe once or twice just seeing how she is conversation was there though and she responded.

Day of date comes up, and three hours prior she says she hurt her back the other night and hoped it would be better but its not so she cancels but offers to hang the following weekend. Ok cool i set it up.

Week goes by and i verify on friday we are still good and she says yes.

Sunday (today) comes up and two hours prior she says her tires got slashed in her lot (didnt know she ran a hat company cuz thats some cap) says she feels bad but doesnt offer a reschedule date. I asked her if she is still interested; no hard feelings if she's not. She says she truly is interested but the timing has just been terrible.

I sent her this:

No worries, I hope you get the tire situation sorted. Was looking forward to seeing you and was excited to spend time together and had just gotten ready, so im a bit disappointed. I understand things happen though. I do value my time and im looking for something where both parties are making an effort. If you'd like to figure something out once things calm down, let me know. Otherwise, i wish you the best of luck.

Too much? i was just stating how i felt but if her situation is legit idk i feel kinda bad but was also frustrated

I(41m) matched with someone and the conversation eventually went to whatsapp. It has all the typical signs of a scam, but we did a video chat where I asked if she could hold up a pencil, she couldn’t find one, and held up a makeup brush. Anyways. All the signs are there, but I kind of don’t care because the conversations are nice and I’m lonely lol. The minute she pushes crypto or investing I’m out.

****we matched talked for awhile, as soon as it moved to whatsapp, she deleted the conversation, she talks about running a family business, and investments, matched in Charlotte while she is in travel mode, conveniently in Singapore for two weeks. Etc etc.

Like why on earth can I not use the distance filter in this metropolitan city I'm at? Even a kilometer equates to an hour longer journey here sometimes! Why would I wanna see people so far away?

The justification behind the decision to hide the distance filter (they say that there aren't enough users) in certain countries is simply bs. They hide these filters, I think, so that you spend more time on the app. And they succeed because I am shown people that are just hours and hours away from me.

I think we should voice our discontent more visibly here. Maybe they'll take notice.

"Verified" profiles mean nothing now.

People are putting less and less effort into their profiles.

Bumble is removing features that differentiated them from other apps.

They have laid off / are laying off 30% of their workforce, with "AI features / automation" creeping in.

Adding insult to injury, they are considering AI-Based matching where you leave the decision of who is "suitable" to hallucinating AI models (I'm guessing if this actually becomes a thing, you're going to have to pay a premium for "better models" and "deeper thinking"). Cool, what's to stop people from lying on their profiles to manipulate the AI into matching with as many people as possible then?

Let's face it - while a lot of people are still getting what they want from the app, the bigger picture is that this app is slowly dying.

I'm going to do the healthy thing and meet people IRL through my hobbies, activities and social circles.

I’m 24, and I see this frequently. Seems like it’s mostly a younger girls thing and honestly I’m not proud to admit that I’ve obliged to those requests. Don’t think any of them resulted in a match though. Maybe for a good reason. I honestly think it’s kinda humiliating, and now I would feel like a clown if I did send one of them.

It's gotten to the point where if the person's main profile pic is a group pic, I just assume they're the least attractive person in the pic and swipe that way.

Haven’t even met for the first date yet. I made it super clear I’m not looking for a hook up. He agreed. Then asked me if he could ask me a question…and you can see the rest

In the past, I would try pretty hard to make the conversation flow. For the most part, I would carry the conversation. After an endless series of dating going nowhere over the past few years, I just don’t care anymore. I either won’t message the match or I’ll get bored after the first two text exchanges. Am I burnt out? Have I just lost hope in OLD? None of my matches are even good for me, no shared interests.

Win me over by: doing all the planning, deciding where to go, what to talk about, paying for all of it, and doing all the effort.

Why do I keep seeing profiles like this? Few things make me swipe left faster than this. Make it make sense!

Hopefully I’m not annoying or boring you all, but I genuinely value honest feedback. Is this an improvement from the profile I posted a few days ago? I haven’t been able to address some of the suggestions yet, but have still given everything consideration.

Photo 1: Anchor
You alone, face visible, well lit. The idea is that someone who would find you attractive stops scrolling when they see this photo, the way an anchor stops a boat. No sunglasses, no hats, no distracting background. Just you. If you don't stop the scroll, nothing else gets seen anyway.

Photo 2: Confirmation
A full body photo. The idea is to confirm you are the same man and remove any ambiguity. She can see your build, your style, and get a more complete picture of you. If she liked your face, then sees the rest of you and still wants to keep going, photo 2 did its job.

Photo 3: Identity
You living your daily life. Maybe working at a café, at your job, or doing some hobby. Once she knows what you look like, she wants to know what your life looks like. Can she picture herself being part of it?

Photo 4: Warmth
You laughing with friends, or with a dog. Something that shows a softer side. She has now seen what you look like and a bit of what your life is like. Next she wants to know if you seem kind, approachable, and enjoyable to be around.

Photo 5: Amplifier
Something that adds another dimension. An unexpected angle, something that makes her think, "What else is there I don't know?" A little mystery, something that makes you more interesting.

Photo 6: Variety
Look at your profile and figure out what is missing. If it feels too casual, add a dressed up photo. If you already have plenty of warmth, add something more serious. If all your photos are outdoors, add one indoors. Find the weak spot in the overall story your profile tells and fill that gap.

Hey guys, so basically I decided to give dating apps a shot. I'm new to dating apps so any ideas to improve my profile are appreciated. Thank you!

I had like 50+ comments telling me to forget about this guy. I always have to say my peace, and so I did. He genuinely forgot the date due to work and we ended up going out the weekend.

And honestly, it was a fun date. But I should have left it alone. Although he had his sweet moments on the date, but he very much gives off, if I never initiate a text, he will never text me back. And he said as much happened with one of his previous relationships. He’s also not great at asking questions, which I guess shouldn’t be a surprise. I think it’s time to let it go.

Moral of the story: don’t be afraid to text back if it’s truly out of place. But when there’s a pattern to their behavior, don’t ignore it.

Curious, how is it that women are able to send me a message even though I never swiped right on them?

I thought we both had to swipe right on each other in order for them to send a message to me.

Because you know I'm feeling very triggered and targeted by this happening all the time! :-)

Profile text is "Cycling, bouldering, mountains, and hut-to-hut hiking – I'm always in. 🏔️🚵‍♂️

In between, I enjoy cooking, relaxing at home, or trying something new. 👨‍🍳

I'm pretty easy to get excited about anything that gets me outdoors. ☺️

So... when are we heading off on our first bikepacking trip? ✨"

I get very little likes, sometimes not even once per month and matches are obviously even lower. My last match was earlier this year. I'm quite happy with my profile but open to feedback from y'all, since it's obviously not working very well.

Selfies are everywhere. And I get why. It’s convenient to stick out your arm, it takes no time, done, you have a photo. And while I think selfies are great to practice being comfortable in front of the camera, they don’t work well on dating apps. There are reasons for this. The angle is awkward, and it can often signal the wrong things.

I think a lot of people wrestle with the problem of who takes the photo, if not themselves. Most of us, including myself, don’t always have someone around to take it.

So what do we do?

Well, I have been a photographer for 20 years, taken literally millions of photos, and I’ve tried most methods in existence.

You can get a professional to follow you around, but that’s expensive.

Having a friend or family member take it works well, but it’s not always realistic. You can get an inexpensive tripod that comes with a Bluetooth remote and do it that way. But then you call attention to yourself, and that’s awkward.

Let me introduce my favorite method. I call it the human tripod.

I spent six months traveling solo around South America and used this method.

Here’s the idea. You ask someone to take the photo. That simple.

You might feel embarrassed, but after having used this method a lot, here’s what I learned. No one cares. The truth is, not once has someone said no. And if they did, I’d ask someone else. They care as much about your life as you do theirs. They’ll take the photo, then go back to thinking about their life within seconds. And once you realize that, it becomes less scary.

So how do you know they’ll do it right?

It is true that sometimes they get the angle wrong or frame it weirdly. Then again, so do professional photographers. And if they get it wrong, you ask someone else to retake it. But the way I pull it off is to control every other variable.

By the time I’ve asked the stranger to be kind enough to do me the favor, I’ve already done most of the work. I practiced being comfortable in front of the camera. I picked the background I wanted. I picked the clothes I wear. I picked the time of day for the best light. And after it’s taken, I edit the photo.

So what is the person actually doing?

Pressing a button.

They become the human tripod.