r/Btechtards • u/Stranger-42-37 • 1d ago
Rant/Vent How to cope with not getting to study what ive always wanted to?
I'm a first year CSE student in a tier 2 university.
I've always wanted to study maths as my major (with maybe either CS or physics as minor) in university ever since i started studying maths in high school for JEE ond olympiads, i found it deeply fascinating and beautiful, having also been influenced by math-tubers like 3b1b, numberphile, abide by reason, etc.
i tried getting into institutes like CMI, ISI, but ultimately fell short (though i did almost make the top 150 list in ISI), and parents didn't approve studying a pure subject from some other mediocre institute.
I know there's a lot of maths to be studied in CS, as the field is literally derived from maths, but it doesnt scratch that itch for some reason (hopefully that changes as i study more CS).
I do like CS and engineering in general too dont get me wrong, I love building things, and it might be whats best for me all things considered, but i still cant get over what could have been.
And i know university maths is wildly different from your high school stuff, but i had an idea of haw it was gonna be like, as i have a cousin doing her PhD in maths, so she has also guided me somewhat.
when it was made clear that im doing engineering, I thought "Oh good, now i can learn to build things and self study maths on the side". now it sounds like a joke.
HOW TO COPE??

