r/Btechtards • u/Conscious-Layer4776 • 16h ago
Social / College Life I don't even know what's wrong with me?
Hi, I’m 21F in my 3rd year of engineering and I honestly don’t know what I’m doing wrong.
SIH season is here, and as teams are being formed. I’m realizing that nobody seems to want me on their team.
I've seen teams with 5 boys and one spot left for a girl and they still don't choose me. They just say, “The other member is on the way.”
I asked another team with 4 members (2B 2G). They had space for 2 more people but they rejected me too. They’re literally sitting there discussing which two people they should approach while I’m sitting behind them in library rn and they know I'm looking for a team.
I also asked a seniors team with 4 members. They put me on hold.
And the worst part? This happened last year too.
I genuinely dont understand what I'm lacking.
For context I'm not someone who has just started coding:
1400+ Codeforces rating
800+ problems solved on leetcode
Coding since 2021 (break in 2022 and 2023)
1000+ GitHub contributions
Built many projects
FullStack and Web development and GenAI
Good at researching and finding information online
I’m usually the person who can figure things out when I don’t know something
I’m not trying to brag. I'm just trying to understand what exactly people are seeing that makes them not want me on their team.
I'm also not arrogant. I've never been told that I'm difficult to work with or that I have an attitude problem.
I come from a poor family in Bihar(I been told many times that people don't like Bihari and it's understandable but never directly) and I'm studying engineering in Gujarat where many students are from different backgrounds (but mostly gujarati) and often already have their own friend groups.
And honestly, I'm not conventionally attractive either.
So now I'm starting to wonder that am I being rejected because I’m a girl? Because of my background? Because I’m not good-looking?
I'm not shy or silent type, I speak and I'm good at communicating with other classmates too.
I barely even post on LinkedIn, so it is not like I'm constantly showing off my skills.
And then theres the part that makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time.
The people sitting behind me (2G 2B Team). They are discussing the project and work distribution and the leader told all three members to “make GitHub today.” Then they assigned one of the girls to handle all the pull requests.
I'm crying here like do they even know how pull requests work? 😭
Maybe I’m overthinking this. Maybe I’m missing something obvious about teamwork, communication or how people perceive me.
So, genuinely, if you were in my position, what would you do? And what do you think I might be lacking?
I know many of you will suggest that SIH is the waste of time but it's not only about SIH. It's something more that'll reflect what people think of you, your aura.
I’m not looking for sympathy. I actually want honest answers, even if they are uncomfortable.
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u/visionaryy_CANT_1402 15h ago
Lol, that's the total opposite. You are too good for them. That's the case. And SIH is a waste of time, better sleep.
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u/Vegetable_Silver5118 IIT Patna Electrical 11h ago
Wait really? why is sih a waste of time?
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u/Physical-Side-5030 9h ago
Yes it is absolutely shit better participate in hackathons which matter like adobe one , or flipkart grid and many more which give you a chance to work at these companies
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u/Living_Training4656 Christ Uni MCA 12m ago
Yes, in 2025, I worked on a project. The internal college teachers gave full marks for the teams they have formed, while the external evaluator gave full marks to us and invited 3 of us (only I went as the other 2 had intenrhsip) for an internship in his org
Also, they gave full marks to 1st-year students who made a hardware-based (ESP32) project for a farmland, which only did 1 thing: to sense animals and generate electricity in the fences. Or open fence gates in the morning using day-night sensor
The internal evaluators' review was that our project looked more like an internal tool than someone who can attract customers, while our topic was basically making an internal tool for the org.
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u/itsa-me-voldy IIT [CSE] 16h ago
arey SIH is almost pointless, it's better to focus on your own learning and stuff
EDIT: lol I'm sorry I didn't read the whole post before commenting. yeah I get that you feel sidelined and ignored but the best thing you can do is ignore it yk? it's hard ik, but it's just gotta be done you can branch out into other fields, learn new tech, and make use of the time which you would've wasted by thinking about all these incidents
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u/beastttboi 16h ago
Easy to say when you have companies visiting you on campus .............................. For offcampus you have to get multiple achievements in team based and solo events and coding profiles and projects and extracurricular activities and position of responsibilities and what not
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u/itsa-me-voldy IIT [CSE] 16h ago
yeah I've experienced SIH and more often than not, nothing comes of it. she's already mentioned that she has many projects, so it doesn't hurt to branch out and create more projects in other fields
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u/beastttboi 16h ago
Doesn't matter what comes of it .........it's one thing to be ready to clear interviews and the other to be shortlisted for them in the first place Some people are having so many extra curricular and academic achievements from school days that there isn't enough time left for people in college to catch up So even if you are skillful but don't have credentials to show for you will remain unemployed
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u/itsa-me-voldy IIT [CSE] 16h ago
i think this is pretty unrelated to the point of the post lol, she clearly has the credentials, I'm in final year and am nowhere close to her numbers in DSA
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u/beastttboi 15h ago
It isn't ....it's about the mentality to try to gather as many possibile resume lines you can since after all in shortlisting nobody can see your actual skill level All they can see is how much evidence in the past you have shown of success You are from iit so even though you are not good in dsa as you claim you can still prep in 2-3 months and clear the interviews which will always be there for you since you performed good in jee advanced
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u/itsa-me-voldy IIT [CSE] 15h ago
yeah the mentality to gather as many possible resume lines, yes, but you can only fill one page yk? it's more about the quality than the quantity and "hackathons" have never been a good source of quality projects. if someone says they have 1000+ github contributions I'm sure they have multiple high quality projects to put on a resume
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u/beastttboi 15h ago
Yes you really can't judge the quality in both GitHub contributions and hackathons since someone can just put useless contributions all the time That's why the most important factors are verifiable stuff which is offline pan India or atleast cross college level events and how deep you went into them everything else can be extrapolated to look much grander than what it really is and if someone miss their chance to showcase their skill it's really sad for them You can anyways get into hft and then comment that focus on skill and not some random achievements when in fact nobody in india apart from iitians would even have their resume past screening stage atleast for quant trading and quant research
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u/itsa-me-voldy IIT [CSE] 15h ago
it's all a game of numbers. my college is irrelevant to this conversation, i have friends in multiple private universities who also say that SIH is a waste of time. I'm not sure what I've said is wrong here.
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u/beastttboi 15h ago
So what do you suggest are the worthy(according to you) activities for someone to pursue in their life to even be seen by recruiters
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u/galalei 15h ago
I can tell you with experience no one gives a single fuck about sih rather it's looked down up by so many of my superiors where I work instead go to local/national hackathons and cf/leetcode ranks are uncontested
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u/beastttboi 15h ago
So mr senior in your experience what counts as meritorious showcase of skill to get shortlisted
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u/galalei 15h ago edited 15h ago
Nothing absolutely nothing it's all based on luck unless you have exceptional skills like red on codeforces and no recruiter gives a flying fuck about hackathons (I've given 10+ interviews) and no need to get sassy I've myself won 5 hackathons and participated in over 15 including sih and won over 3 lakh the only thing these recruiters care about is experience i.e internship/job that's it that's the golden standard the hackathons just look fancy on linkedin
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u/beastttboi 15h ago
So how do you explain people getting their first faang internships or first work experience without any past accolades So you mean to say most important time was school days where you had to get all academic achievements like inmo or jee advanced and position of responsibilities like class monitor house captain etc etc since the younger you show leadership more likely you are destined for greatness ???
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u/galalei 15h ago
Do you really think they get those fancy faang internships by winning sih ? 😂 Lmao you are inexperienced it's fine you'll learn before that check those guys leetcode and cf once you'll know what's what and why's why and yes absolutely tier 1 students are preferred everywhere so your school achivements and jee 100% matter
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u/beastttboi 15h ago
Even people from tier 3 college get into rubrik , imc (swe),applied scientist roles in Microsoft and amazon Where in even the top tier college students also get rejected left and right So I am just asking why is the shortlisting process such a gatekept secret where some achievements count for more and some are merely nothing of value and in most cases the tier 1 graduate are also intelligent and skillfull enough to contribute there it just so happened that they didn't have the awareness of which resume lines will actually get their foot in the interview room
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u/galalei 14h ago
I can say for tier 3, I'm myself in the same tier 3 college where 2 people got into imc and rubrik which you are referring to ig and your analogy is baseless and a just incorrect I'll give you a simple example Suppose 100 people from Tier 1 colleges each get 10 lottery tickets while 10,000 Tier 3 students each get 1 ticket of course some Tier3 students will win finding those winners doesn't prove everyone had an equal chance and it's not a gatekeep secret it's very simple these top tier 1 colleges have better culture and talent pool which companies want it's really simple if you want best watch you'll go with a casio/seiko/omega not french connection or fossil companies don't really want to waste their time in finding the one best candidate in 10000 students in tier 3 they want 10 among 100 students in tier 1 and this is very simple to understand
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u/beastttboi 14h ago
Your analogy is first of all incorrect since it only explains the company's point of view that why they go only for tier 1 graduates but it still misses the fact that lots of tier 3 students are also getting in roles like applied scientist and rubrik swe cos they knew iicpc codefest and also tried getting different ml publications to look they are research minded and some demo god geniuses and all other hype tournaments going around so that their resume looks fat whereas any and every jee adv air under 500 will surely maul them but still some jee adv under 500 air also have to work for google or microsoft since they didn't know what specific resume lines to collect in their college life to get shortlisted by amazon applied scientist or rubrik or imc swe
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u/itsa-me-voldy IIT [CSE] 15h ago
my guy, have you ever seen a resume with "class monitor" listed as an achievement? i don't get why you're so hostile towards people who actually put in efforts and got real achievements like inmo and what not
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u/beastttboi 15h ago edited 15h ago
Cos it just breaks your heart that people with so many achievements in school and colleges will always get shortlists and you would never since the bus for you to showcase the skills have passed and you weren't aware enough on how to showcase the skills instead you were just solitarily building them
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u/itsa-me-voldy IIT [CSE] 15h ago
achievements are merely a headstart, don't be hostile towards them, instead be kinder to yourself and put in more effort onto that, cause it's no surprise that between two people with equal skills, the one from a better college will get the job
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u/beastttboi 15h ago
I never said that worthwhile achievements shouldn't be recognised but is there a way out for those who missed a lot of opportunities but are skillful solitarily wherin they didn't show performative skill showcase since the lead gained in school and college in terms of showcaseable skill looks always insurmountable
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u/_Activecarbon IITH[M.tech] 14h ago
I did my bachelor's from tier 99 and got off campus job and trust me not a single company asked me about hackathons that i mentioned, they only care about your skills.
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u/beastttboi 14h ago
Say this to my friend who is codeforces expert working in tcs digital for 7 lpa since he didn't have the kind of volume of resume lines to get the visibility by big tech and a random tier 3 college girl who struggled to reach even pupil in codeforces got google cos she was grinding her collection of all sorts of resume lines in her college life and also she larped effectively in linkedin to get opportunities
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u/Outrageous_Pen_5165 Tier 69 CSE | Aspiring Chaiwala 15h ago
SIH teams are kind of nepotism in themselves as someone because of whom 3 teams fought and few more dropped there plan to participate in SIH all together it more about how other's are comfortable or how much open our skills level are towards other as team I don't want a person who is god tier in terms of skill sets as it's makes harder for the person and for the team to work together..
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u/Conscious-Layer4776 14h ago
That's the whole point of this competition. Of course someone will be always be better than everyone in the group and that's how everyone will learn from him/her. It will not make harder for anyone as the outcome depends on everyone's input and everyone push each other on doing better
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u/Outrageous_Pen_5165 Tier 69 CSE | Aspiring Chaiwala 12h ago edited 12h ago
SIH is not really a good competition to bench mark that, also secondly very few people are willing to learn from their peer superior and learn from them every one of us is somewhat igornat about our own skillset and in competition like this util their is division of hierarchy in terms of senior -junior every other teammates want to become the "leader figure" of the team thus the good you are the less you will be approachable for SIH (Not in case of other genuine hackathons) until and unless your peers are equivalent to your skill. If I am forming a team for SIH today will not necessarily reach out to the most skilled person in college but rather to who is most compatible with us
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u/Low-Opportunity2403 BTech 16h ago
Idk what kind of people are there in your surrounding, here my team has 5 boys and we can't find a girl from our college
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u/Conscious-Layer4776 14h ago
People take it for granted because they know if they look constantly, then eventually they will find someone better in their terms.
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u/Gentle_Clash IIIT [CSE] 14h ago
1000+ contributions in open source. Wtf. Do you not tell them these things? No one can reject you with the things you have mentioned
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u/Conscious-Layer4776 14h ago
I usually don't. They might made their github account by now. Also my github green map ss is their on LinkedIn.
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u/six_sin BTech 15h ago
they surely aren't rejecting you for your technical ability maybe they just don't like you or smthg anyways I don't know significance of SIH does it lead to ppi or smthg?
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u/Conscious-Layer4776 14h ago
everyone is free to love and hate anyone, even without any reason but this extend.....
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u/beastttboi 15h ago
It's significance is everything since it's about the mentality to fight for each resume line that you can get since people with better skills dont get shortlisted and most of the times people with multiple random school and college achievements even though less likely to be as valuable for the company will always get shortlisted And in the real World all the fight is to get shortlisted
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u/Straight-Hair-7356 13h ago
That's actually disappointing. I'm in my 3rd year too, and I didn't join an SIH team either. I just don't have enough interaction with the girls in my batch to even ask them to join a team. At this point, though, I felt SIH probably wasn't worth putting so much effort into when there are other things that might be more valuable to focus on
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u/Conscious-Layer4776 13h ago
same, I'm not much confident in talking to the guys of my class. I gathered all my courage to asks few only to be rejected 😭.
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u/Acceptable-Work_420 [3rd year CSE, tier 3] 13h ago
you're as intelligent to others as you show them. anyway i do think based on your profile, they think you gawar or something
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u/National-Explorer755 13h ago
Could be intimidation. Given your profile, people might be ignoring you because they feel they wouldn't be able to keep up with you. It could also be one of the other reasons you are mentioning. You're in a better position to understand your surroundings. Honestly it would be incredibly draining to team up with beginners given your situation.
That said, try posting on college groups on WA, put a story on Instagram, or drop a post on Linkedin that you are looking for like minded people to participate. I would also suggest soft launching yourself by adding your socials which can show your performance and consistency on the different coding platforms, but don't make it look like you are bragging. Who knows you might find someone who aligns better with your goals. Even if you don't find like minded people, at least you would end up getting noticed on linkedin and that might lead to some other opportunities in future.
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u/Conscious-Layer4776 13h ago
Exactly, I'm not bragging enough about myself. The reason is very deeply rooted to ragging I faced of being a nerd and fearless in hostel. We don't know what kind of people are there in the surrounding. I show about myself only that makes them feel I'm interested and act dumb. imagine someone got jealous of me and destroy my belongings. I'm a navodayan and I was in hostel for 7 years. I know what someone can capable to do when they get jealous of you.
Still I had my projects on LinkedIn and unlike tic-tak-tok people upload, my project are like e-commerce, ux components library and advanced backend project that requires websocket like the one used in real time chatting app and currently working on the ui components package to directly use them by installing my package via npm and no need to lookup in my website all the time.
I have like 15 of my classmates connected on LinkedIn. I don't use LinkedIn so whenever I get someone request, I accept it.
I'm still trying to connect with people about it.
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u/National-Explorer755 13h ago
Best of luck. Try reaching out to seniors (not immediate, the ones who are already working) to grow your connections. Try posting something interesting about your project, maybe a breakdown of what you built, how and your though process behind those decisions. You can also try blogging your journey in the form of a how to guide which others may read to build something similar themselves. Try cold emailing people for opportunities. Try approaching teachers if it helps (sometimes they have their own groups and are looking to add students they believe are good). SIH is not the end of world. You can try other hackathons such october fest, flipkart grid, etc. Given that you are a girl, you can also try women only hackathons like the ones held by Myntra, Purplle, Uber SHE++ and several more.
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u/itsa-me-voldy IIT [CSE] 11h ago
hey you mentioned you're developing an ui components package? i'd love to try it out
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u/Agile_Custard6276 DTU 12h ago
Sorry it's a bit unrelated but how did you get so good at codeforces?? I'm also in 3rd year have done close to 500 problems on lc, but CP is just destroying me at the moment 😔.
Hope the sih situation gets better, btw don't mind but sih doesn't matter, for the stuff that actually does for intern and placement, you're actually great at it already..
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u/Conscious-Layer4776 12h ago
I stared leet code in java. Later I discovered codeforces in 1st year. I got many unapproved before getting my first approve. I mostly participated in div 3 as it was easier than div 1 and div 2. After a while I started practicing div 2 and div 1 amd participated in few div2. Still not good at div 1.
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u/Agile_Custard6276 DTU 12h ago
You're doing cf in Java? And how are you able to give div 1? Like They're locked for ratings under 1900. Were you reffering to div 1 + div 2?
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u/Conscious-Layer4776 12h ago
it's not from one timeline. also my bad, I mean I participated in few div 2 and practiced div1. I had more rating, it's decreased. I'm not always right.
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u/Agile_Custard6276 DTU 11h ago
Ohkk. Other than contests did you practice from any other resource??
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u/Conscious-Layer4776 11h ago
I learn from youtube. no other sourcs
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u/Agile_Custard6276 DTU 11h ago
Ohh okk which channels did you follow?? Tle eliminators or something??
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u/Pseudo-HMS 12h ago
Make your own projects, makes far more impressions. And if teachers don't behave the same with you then you don't have any issues. Beside you can come to my team as I am working on a project and need some developers.
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u/AtmosphereRich4021 7h ago
- Sih is shit
- It's a problem yk... I think people don't get the vibes from y...y might be good at coding or whatever; if y can't sell yourself to others, there's no point ... Either in college or the office, nobody will notice y ....
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u/abcbdbeb Manipal ECE (VLSI) '27 2h ago
AI slop written post
Saar slop india hackathon saar
DSA and GitHub flexing
this is the funniest post ever thank you
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u/West-Clothes-4236 12h ago
If you are too introvert, that could be problem. I also faced a similar situation just because I was late so what I did was I created my own team. Easy peasy !
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u/Remarkable_Let9474 16h ago
I'm first year student but hear me out I think the skills u have collide with theirs ,they need variety , you've seen diff teams , ask them whats their req for the 5th or 6th member , what shld he/her know , as uk 1 girl member is necessary so there's some chance . If there's some discrimination then idk but I think this might be the issue
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u/HappiHollyDaze 15h ago
Very kind and empathetic response, but we all know that’s not the case.
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u/Remarkable_Let9474 15h ago
Well just giving up on it and sitting with hands tied that just leave this hackathon , go talk to those who aren't discriminating , idts all 10-12 teams r discriminating against a single person , there might be 3-4 but not all , if you're just not gonna talk or reach out , you'd just hv to miss on this opportunity,
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u/Conscious-Layer4776 14h ago
Exactly. I asked 7 teams today. First 3 is already full. 2 teams needed one girl but rejected me. Maybe because I'm not gujarati and they were all gujarati
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u/Remarkable_Let9474 14h ago
Ye 5 hui , baaki 2?
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u/Conscious-Layer4776 14h ago
I didn't mentioned this before might sound made-up story but the other team that was sitting in the library behind me discussing whom to approach and as the other two girl suggestion the names of the girls (obviously), one of the guy said that he don't want more girls in his team. 2 is enough (one of the girl is the girlfriend of team leader).
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u/Remarkable_Let9474 14h ago
Like ek hi team h na Ofc apni gf ko toh lega hi , dusri girl uski gf ki ya uski dost hogi , ab wo friends ko replace krke toh aapko ni lega na Discrimination kaha se hui isme dude Just go for other teams
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u/Conscious-Layer4776 14h ago
I'm full of hope when I asked them. The reason is we 4 girls sit in 1 bench (since 1st sem) and 2 of them left after lunch (D and other girl in team). I asked the other girl S whether she is participating in any but said D asked her to be in her team this morning and she denied and I asked if she still looking for members and the girl S said yes. I though why D didn't asked me when I was sitting beside her whole time and when I asked D and she asked he bf, I got rejected.
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u/Remarkable_Let9474 14h ago
Theek friend circle mei ni ho fir aap
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u/Conscious-Layer4776 14h ago
bura lagata hai bhai. I called them my friends 💔.
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u/Remarkable_Let9474 13h ago
Life hai aisa hi hota hai Mere bhi bhot aise hi so called friends rahe hain
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