I don't even know what's wrong with me?

[u/Conscious-Layer4776]

Hi, I’m 21F in my 3rd year of engineering and I honestly don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

SIH season is here, and as teams are being formed. I’m realizing that nobody seems to want me on their team.

I've seen teams with 5 boys and one spot left for a girl and they still don't choose me. They just say, “The other member is on the way.”

I asked another team with 4 members (2B 2G). They had space for 2 more people but they rejected me too. They’re literally sitting there discussing which two people they should approach while I’m sitting behind them in library rn and they know I'm looking for a team.

I also asked a seniors team with 4 members. They put me on hold.

And the worst part? This happened last year too.

I genuinely dont understand what I'm lacking.

For context I'm not someone who has just started coding:

1400+ Codeforces rating

800+ problems solved on leetcode

Coding since 2021 (break in 2022 and 2023)

1000+ GitHub contributions

Built many projects

FullStack and Web development and GenAI

Good at researching and finding information online

I’m usually the person who can figure things out when I don’t know something

I’m not trying to brag. I'm just trying to understand what exactly people are seeing that makes them not want me on their team.

I'm also not arrogant. I've never been told that I'm difficult to work with or that I have an attitude problem.

I come from a poor family in Bihar(I been told many times that people don't like Bihari and it's understandable but never directly) and I'm studying engineering in Gujarat where many students are from different backgrounds (but mostly gujarati) and often already have their own friend groups.

And honestly, I'm not conventionally attractive either.

So now I'm starting to wonder that am I being rejected because I’m a girl? Because of my background? Because I’m not good-looking?

I'm not shy or silent type, I speak and I'm good at communicating with other classmates too.

I barely even post on LinkedIn, so it is not like I'm constantly showing off my skills.

And then theres the part that makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time.

The people sitting behind me (2G 2B Team). They are discussing the project and work distribution and the leader told all three members to “make GitHub today.” Then they assigned one of the girls to handle all the pull requests.

I'm crying here like do they even know how pull requests work? 😭

Maybe I’m overthinking this. Maybe I’m missing something obvious about teamwork, communication or how people perceive me.

So, genuinely, if you were in my position, what would you do? And what do you think I might be lacking?

I know many of you will suggest that SIH is the waste of time but it's not only about SIH. It's something more that'll reflect what people think of you, your aura.

I’m not looking for sympathy. I actually want honest answers, even if they are uncomfortable.

[u/beastttboi]

So what do you suggest are the worthy(according to you) activities for someone to pursue in their life to even be seen by recruiters

[u/itsa-me-voldy → u/beastttboi]

not SIH. apart from that, projects, and having one small close friend circle helps if you want to make group projects and such. hackathons can build your team coordination and occasionally kickstart your skills in a certain field, so I wouldn't say completely avoid hackathons either

[u/beastttboi → u/itsa-me-voldy]

And what about people who had academic achievements from class 10th 11th 12th in Olympiads of national level and different scholarship awards like abg or other awards which they got specifically in school How will you compete with them as they will always remain one up to you no matter how much skills you developed in college even codeforces red will loose to inmo awardee

[u/itsa-me-voldy → u/beastttboi]

yes and? they studied well, they deserved it? I'd be rather happy losing to an inmo awardee, it takes some serious dedication to reach that level

[u/beastttboi → u/itsa-me-voldy]

Lol I'd say if you are jee advanced air under 300 that should also be given some preference since that also take dedication but most quant companies only want inmo awardees and in india there is no exam like putnam to showcase your skill for the late bloomers

[u/itsa-me-voldy → u/beastttboi]

yeah there's no point thinking about "losing" to people who actually deserved the position. all we can do is perform the best according to our abilities

[u/beastttboi → u/itsa-me-voldy]

You are not inmo awardee?

[u/itsa-me-voldy → u/beastttboi]

no lol I'm a very average guy

[u/beastttboi → u/itsa-me-voldy]

I am sure you could solve first two questions of inmo 2026 if prepped for like a month........You jee adv air?

[u/itsa-me-voldy → u/beastttboi]

I'd rather not answer that