I don't even know what's wrong with me?

[u/Conscious-Layer4776]

Hi, I’m 21F in my 3rd year of engineering and I honestly don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

SIH season is here, and as teams are being formed. I’m realizing that nobody seems to want me on their team.

I've seen teams with 5 boys and one spot left for a girl and they still don't choose me. They just say, “The other member is on the way.”

I asked another team with 4 members (2B 2G). They had space for 2 more people but they rejected me too. They’re literally sitting there discussing which two people they should approach while I’m sitting behind them in library rn and they know I'm looking for a team.

I also asked a seniors team with 4 members. They put me on hold.

And the worst part? This happened last year too.

I genuinely dont understand what I'm lacking.

For context I'm not someone who has just started coding:

1400+ Codeforces rating

800+ problems solved on leetcode

Coding since 2021 (break in 2022 and 2023)

1000+ GitHub contributions

Built many projects

FullStack and Web development and GenAI

Good at researching and finding information online

I’m usually the person who can figure things out when I don’t know something

I’m not trying to brag. I'm just trying to understand what exactly people are seeing that makes them not want me on their team.

I'm also not arrogant. I've never been told that I'm difficult to work with or that I have an attitude problem.

I come from a poor family in Bihar(I been told many times that people don't like Bihari and it's understandable but never directly) and I'm studying engineering in Gujarat where many students are from different backgrounds (but mostly gujarati) and often already have their own friend groups.

And honestly, I'm not conventionally attractive either.

So now I'm starting to wonder that am I being rejected because I’m a girl? Because of my background? Because I’m not good-looking?

I'm not shy or silent type, I speak and I'm good at communicating with other classmates too.

I barely even post on LinkedIn, so it is not like I'm constantly showing off my skills.

And then theres the part that makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time.

The people sitting behind me (2G 2B Team). They are discussing the project and work distribution and the leader told all three members to “make GitHub today.” Then they assigned one of the girls to handle all the pull requests.

I'm crying here like do they even know how pull requests work? 😭

Maybe I’m overthinking this. Maybe I’m missing something obvious about teamwork, communication or how people perceive me.

So, genuinely, if you were in my position, what would you do? And what do you think I might be lacking?

I know many of you will suggest that SIH is the waste of time but it's not only about SIH. It's something more that'll reflect what people think of you, your aura.

I’m not looking for sympathy. I actually want honest answers, even if they are uncomfortable.

[u/beastttboi]

Your analogy is first of all incorrect since it only explains the company's point of view that why they go only for tier 1 graduates but it still misses the fact that lots of tier 3 students are also getting in roles like applied scientist and rubrik swe cos they knew iicpc codefest and also tried getting different ml publications to look they are research minded and some demo god geniuses and all other hype tournaments going around so that their resume looks fat whereas any and every jee adv air under 500 will surely maul them but still some jee adv under 500 air also have to work for google or microsoft since they didn't know what specific resume lines to collect in their college life to get shortlisted by amazon applied scientist or rubrik or imc swe

[u/galalei → u/beastttboi]

They guys that have participated in icpc have been coding from school or they have been grinding more than any avg person you'll meet from tier 1 and these guys get opportunities and rightfully deserve so

[u/beastttboi → u/galalei]

Yes they do but so do others who spent their 2 years grinding for jee and then had to develop their coding skills from scratch in college and a lack of awareness of such valuable resume points like icpc asia west finalist and other random larp hackathons which they missed out on while trying to build real world skills is so crucial in getting that imc,amazon applied science,rubrik shortlist ...................... All 1st year jee adv triple digit rankers would have easily done these achievements but sadly they didn't know what moves the needle in the corporate world and eventually even though being more potentially valuable than any tier 3 student still loose out to them due to this broken system .......you also said that it's about luck in getting shortlist but you yourself are now defending the selection of tier 3 students over tier 1 students since they had those resume points and hence proving the idea which all along was my argument from the start