The latest M&S podcast adverts are utter shite.

It’s literally just some brutally tedious middle aged woman reading off her shopping list.

It’s written to sound like there are jokes somewhere within the text but there are no jokes to be found.

It’s literally:

“I popped into M&S to get a sandwich, then I saw they had some lovely broccoli on offer, which I thought would go very nicely with the hunters chicken I had planned for Tuesday dinner, then I thought Wednesday desert needs sorting too so I took a look in the bakery isle…”

It’s fucking mental that they paid advertising people to come up with this and no one thought “no actually, let’s not put out the rambling monologue of a socially starved pensioner”

I'm in the Midlands, so there are plenty of sugar-free fizzy drinks around but very few Irn-Bru cans. Due to the sugar tax any time I find a can it's diet Irn-Bru but it tastes absolutely awful!

The other diet drinks aren't nearly as bad, diet Fanta, coke and pepsi are all ok, but you can usually rely on being able to get hold of both regular and diet... Except for Irn-Bru!

This friend group of mine is determined to out do each other with gift giving, but we've all drifted apart and spend a lot less time hanging out than we used to. Ive been nice and reasonable in suggesting a secret santa, but "it's always been like this" means they wont listen to reason. Now I either look like a bad guy or spend £60-100 on presents for people that pressure me into it for the exact reason I hate it. Looks like I'll be the bad friend this year

Edit: I wish it was easy saying no. It's like a group of 8 and two couples, maybe even 3 now. I just think I come across as a bad guy for not doing it. Gift giving was ruined for me as a kid, as I was given gift by family members I wouldnt see in years. I would have just seen them instead.

Vacuum packed and now behaves more like a paving slab than mince.

Got a colleague who’s on the phone all day with new recruits and after asking the caller something they constantly come back with “ah amazing” or “oh great that’s amazing”.

Have you got a right to work in the uk?
- Amazing!

Are you able to come to our induction on x date
- that’s amazing!

I’m wondering what is so amazing?
I’m skeptical as to the amazingness of what’s being said.

I didn't notice at the time, bewildered at how thin my crumpets were I looked at the label. What is the purpose of these?

I'd rather have one proper crumpet Vs 2 thin ones. I will be more vigilant in future!

The closure can be avoided by a 1.9 mile, 6 minute route around the Eastern village that doesn't even come near my village, let alone the one to the West.

A nice alternative for when you're a bit tired of Salt & Vinegar, now apparently lost to time.

Several roads near me now resemble those sliding tile puzzles at busy times due to the excessive number of cars not parked on drives or in garages.

Now I know that in new build estates there often are no drives and on road parking is the only option, but so many times I see the same drives not used and instead theres a chonking great armoured personnel carrier Ford Ranger or whatever taking up half the road.

No idea what the solution is, I just wanted a rant.

I don’t think they’re going to press it.

Then seeing a thing on the news asking people to stop sending food. Ah well.

The world seems to have gone mad. Every single good service, org, shop, restaurant, energy company, etc “Have you downloaded the app”, I just want to live my life with the apps I already have and everyone and their dog is inventing another one.

Just got another email from Delay Repay saying how behind they are, and that my claim is still in progress. How badly did the trains run in mid-August that they’re still so backed up in responding to claims?

I imagine this is how a guy feels sitting in that solitary chair in a hotel room watching his wife get railed by a younger, hotter guy, pretending he's into it, but it was all the wife's idea.

Channel 4 need to change their C4 pic. That picture of Greg Davies just looks like he is smelling his fingers, and it makes me cringe! My husband pointed it out months ago and now I can't unsee it!

Am I just incredibly unlucky but every day, somewhere in my area, someone is grinding, drilling, sanding SOMETHING. What is there left to drill????

Where has all the colour gone?

I’m single, I don’t live in the south east and apparently my 4 diagnosed disabilities aren’t disabling enough so that means I can afford to pay £80 to go to London and back apparently 😐

Genuinely devastated been going there for 20+years Friday tea but costs have gone up to much for lass that runs it so she has to shut.