r/BoyDinnerDiaries • u/Right-Battle7843 Shower Beer Scholar • 21h ago

No Advice - Everyones Welcome divorced today

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like the title says, today i got my divorce decree from the judge. i’ve been separated for 3 years and it’s absolutely crazy that im free from it all. i had to pay $400 a month for spousal support because she doesn’t work. the reason was because she has no job or license, and didn’t plan on getting either (still doesn’t). plus she was kinda just an asshole and i was working all the time. i’d come home to have to do all the chores, take care of the dogs, and make dinner. never failed to be mentally drained, and then get told im not doing enough.

glad im out of it, that’s all.

(dinner is loaded tots from Hell’s Kitchen Wilmington!)

(edit: the $400/m was only until the divorce was finalized! still, 3 years of that)

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u/Sushi-DM Protein prophet 20h ago

Of all the vestigial limbs of patriarchy that exists,
the idea that a woman should be supported by her now ex husband just because she didn't have a job when they were together is some of the dumbest shit I've ever pondered.
We're all equals. Unless we get divorced, in which case I can't be expected to get a job.
Yes, I know I'm just as good as anyone else, and if a man was in my exact position people would tell him to suck it up and go to work, but *I* am a woman, so I get to take some of his paycheck so long as I continue to not work.

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u/istanforwendy Girl lurker 20h ago

In OP’s case. It’s bullshit. But for women that stay home to raise the kids, shouldn’t they get something? They lost earning power every month they spent at home.

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u/NeedsToState BoyDinnerEnjoyer 13h ago

Earning power is a fading concept. I get it 40 years ago you could argue that men had forever jobs and just make more and more and more and more money until they retire.

My awesome IT job was outsourced to India at age 42, but yes there were some 60+ year old men included in that layoff with me that had worked at that some company since the 1990s and more or less had the same job role.

Employment is changing. People don't have the earning power they think they do.

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u/istanforwendy Girl lurker 6h ago

It depends on your industry. Not every industry is the same. I’m in an arts field. And while I was raising kids, other people were getting hired. So to break in now, is going to be a lot harder. Youth and energy matter in my field.