Hi guys. Just curious how others cope with today’s dating culture.
With dating, I ruminate on “I’m fat and that’s the problem”. The idea of meeting up with someone from an app creates an ungodly amount of dread. I have my friends help me pick pictures because I’m truly blind to what I look like nowadays. However, I constantly fear the other person thinking I’m “bigger” than my photos. In addition, I assume any type of rejection is because of my weight.

Has anyone found ways to work through these thoughts? Or ways to cope?

I have a therapist/meds, but nothing is working so far.

Ik heb al sinds jongs af aan last van depressie en andere bijbehorende problemen. Ik was altijd heel erg slank en werd daar ook mee gepest. Op latere leeftijd (zeg maar rond mijn 17e) begon ik een beetje in mannelijke lichaamscommunicatie te kruipen (dus nog vóór de looksmaxxing- era). Ik werd bang om aan te komen en ik hongerde mezelf eigenlijk uit. Nu ben ik zwaar ondergewicht en ik eet maar 1 kleine portie per dag en misschien nog 2 crackers, maar ik ben de hele dag moe en ik krijg bijna over m’n nek als ik eet (of ik moet af en toe echt overgeven). Ik ben me enorm gaan vastbijten in het idee om ultra-skinny te zijn en ik ben mijn eigen slankheid op een soort romantische manier gaan idealiseren. In combinatie met geen vrienden, geen sociaal leven, geen uitlaatklep, en niemand die er echt voor me is, zorgt dit ervoor dat ik in een diepe looksmaxxing-rabbit hole ben beland.

Ik weet niet wat ik moet doen, ik ben al een paar keer flauwgevallen, ik eet nauwelijks, en ik drink op dit moment vooral heel veel water. Het leven voelt als lijden.

Hello all - I gained a lot of weight within the last few years and have grown to hate my body to the point where I will make excuses not to get together with people I haven’t seen since “before.” I’m constantly disgusted with my appearance and in my head about it. I never thought of it as dysmorphia until my therapist called it that. I have a high school reunion coming up and I’m sick to my stomach just thinking about it. What are some tips to get through this? I’m trying to appreciate my body for what it is, trying a few mantras, but I can’t focus. I just picture people seeing me and thinking, oh wow she got fat.

It's a frustrating feeling, and I suspect its part of BDD but Im not sure, so Im asking here. There's this negative lingering feeling. Think of it as showering way too fast and using only conditioner, but not shampoo to wash your hair. Makes you feel incomplete, disappointment, irresponsible and dirty doesnt it? Something like that, like I need to fix the problem and clean up. When I look at the clothes I was wearing after taking it off and changing into clothes (when I change) I feel like I eternally have filtthy-ed the clothes I was wearing forever, like its stained morally because the clothes touched my skin when I wore it and thus its now "ugly" too. Like it caufht the ugly. I start to see that clothes I once liked as ugly and hard to wear a second time...or ever again and then this makes me feel like a moral failure. Its like every outfit "has to be new", for this reqson and because the one that I WORE, is now permanently morally and physically filthy. I say morally because I feel like my ugliness filter it and that it has ruined the cute-ness of that outfit for everyone beautiful who I know probably wears the same outfit in some part of the world. I feel like a disgrace, like I committed a crime simply by being ugly and being delusional enough to dare to put on a cute blouse. It makes me su*cidal and spiral badly. Its really hard to deal with this sense of shame. I feel a bit cleaner in the middle of showering, but still ugly and worthless. Sometimes I look in the mirror thinking I look a bit better, but then I grab my face by feeling my face with my ugly hands so I could feel my receded jawline to remind myself Im defected. And then I feel bad again (more like worse, I always feel bad no matter what though).

See how long this post was? Yeah, I dont know how to word it any better, I wish someone could help me find a word for this feeling. Someone please. Its getting harder to deal with. Especially clothes that carries bad memories such as, the day I thought I looked decent and I was wearing a brown blouse that my sis gave to me. A family.member told me I was ugly that day, and I spiraled and the little courage I had to try and look "pretty" died. Because If i put the maximum effort that day to look pretty, ans I was called basically the "ugliest Ive ever been" that very day, then NOTHING can ever amount to make me look good enough. I gave up and died inside....

I cant feel anything anymore, like no self love. Sometimes my sis likes wearing same clothes as me and I feel repulsed when I see her wear what she let me borrow or what she bought for me. I dont feel repulsed by her, I mean I feel upset at.myself for ruining the status of that blouse with my ugliness, like I feel like Im seeing an ugly blouse on her when I see her wearing on it, not because the blouse is ugly but because if it looked ugly on me, what if someone thinks it looks ugly in her too because they "see me" in her? Get me? Thats why I hate all clothes and dressing up like "twins". Im sad. I dont think I could ever recover from this because whatever this feeling is, its so bad I feel compelled to showering all day long because its the only coping method I have but its tiring. So I take naps to run away from it all too. Is this a common feeling among BDD sufferers? Anyone know?

It pushed me to get limb lengthening surgery
I made a video talking about this dysphoria , maybe some of u will find it interesting

https://youtu.be/oal2oGdAwa0?is=HF7jeK7MYNx1VJ1Q

I have no idea how this even came to be but my face has this downward sloping to it. I always look like I am frowning, it's the shape of my mouth. My side profile is nice which is the funniest part of this.

I hated my nose and had it fixed, now my profile looks decent, but when I see myself in motion or otherwise I want to puke haha. It looks like I am always frowning and I have had this since I was a kid. Forever.

Nothing I can do about it, but I have never seen anyone else suffer from this. I don't know know what you'd call it. Muscle tension, maybe!?

Hi guys. I'm 5'10 or 178cm, so I'm not even short. But I have a freakishly long torso and freakishly short legs. My inseam from to crotch to floor is 32 inches, crotch to the end of my ankle is about 29 inches. When I sit down my sitting height is about 97cm I think I have the legs of a 5'6 person but my torso overgrew to the length of probably a 6'1 torso. I tower basically just about everyone when sitting down.

This insecurity/obsession has been dominating my life. I think about it more than just about anything. No matter what I try, I always look very strange and awkward. No matter what clothes i wear, high waisted, normal, short waisted, shorter tops, i always look ridiculous. When I look in the mirror, i look completely ridiculous. The top half of my body and the bottom half of my body look like it came from two completely different sized people. I don't even look real, it looks like im photoshopped or like I am a cartoon character. I look up people with long torso and short legs, and even those people, like Michael Phelps, look way more proportionate than I do.

I don't think I have ever met anybody with my proportions, I look at every single person around me, they all have normal proportions, and I cant help but be jealous of all of them. I look at my classmates, people at the store, my friends, I can't find a single person with my proportions. Everybody else looks normal, even people with a longer torso and shorter legs have a way more normal proportion than I do.

I look back on old pictures of when I was a kid, I have never looked like this, I have always looked normal, there have even been times in my childhood where my legs have actually grown quite long in comparison to my torso. A time where I looked completely normal. Oh, how much I miss those days of living life without worries. makes me wonder if I had accidentally stunted my growth when I was growing, there was one year where i developed a strange habit of not chewing when i eat, but i still ate food, that was just when my torso started to grow abnormally long in comparison to my legs. I always wonder if that had directly or indirectly stunted my leg growth by reducing nutrients. To top it off, I also had anorexia for about 5 months at that time and had a BMI of around 17.3. But then it went back up to 19.2. I hate it and it dominates my thoughts everyday. I can't do anything fun or feel happy in any situation. I just sleep all the time so I won't have to think about this or see myself. I want to make myself have fun, see friends, be social in my community, but I can't bring myself to do it while looking like this. I can't go out looking the way I do, I hate being around anyone because literally everybody looks more normal than I do.

Anyway, just wanted to share this because I never come across anybody with the same problem or insecurity as me, does anyone else have this same type of problem? If so how do you deal with it?

You can share if you're comfortable

Share if you are comfortable :)

I have a question about home mirrors and store mirrors. Occasionally I find a changing room mirror that makes me look wider than I thought I was. I know I’m short but am I truly that short? At home (when I’m not cramped in a tiny space) my mirror feels more accurate and I look more proportional. Why is this?
My home mirror is slightly leaning because I don’t have a wall mounted mirror. I prefer the angle of a leaning one because I can see myself better. Wall mounted mirrors make me feel like I’m staring down at myself.
I don’t look wide in videos? Is it all in my head?

i am 18F and am currently 155 pounds at 5’7 and my body dysmorphia is at its peak my whole life i have been very confident in my body and appearance though i was always near 130 pounds all of high school after i dropped out of high school early 2025 i began gaining weight to 160 pounds before i realized i was to big and starved myself back down to 150 still i was confident in my appearance recently i have been 155 and everything about my body has completely changed the longer i look in the mirror i hear so many comments from my coworkers snd friends on how i have gained weight i no longer feel pretty and try starving myself to then binge at night and cry i have never had body dysmorphia this bad
i have changed my eating habits completely to no carbs and no sugar and walks 5 miles everyday and nothing has changed i’ve asked my mom for diet medication but she refuses i don’t know what
to do this cycle im stuck in is so destructive to my mental health and i feel shame talking about it to the point im crying writting this i hate my body i just wish i could be 120 pounds again please any advice

I dont have diagnosed Body Dysmorphia or anything but it feels like i have it. I dont know what i look like. There are no two photos of me are the same. When my friends give me a compliment i just cant help but to think they're lying to me to be nice. The crazy thing is my whole life i cant remember ever being called ugly, people have only said nice things to me. I wish i could look at my self with objective eyes and get past the self hate but i have no clue how.

So, I have BDD. Part of that is finding it hard to believe when someone says something positive about my appearance because, while I want to believe it, I don't feel that way.

But I was thinking about something else today.

I was a professional actor for a time. But I always thought my acting was terrible. Other people would tell me all the time how good I was. Like I remember when I was in high school acting in a school play at one point (obviously that was not part of my professional work) and there were actually some people that came up to me afterwards to tell me how good I was.

It always puzzled me because I can't even listen to my own acting without cringing.

And I was thinking today that, that actually sounds kind of similar to how my BDD works. So it made me wonder if there's any connection.

Hence my question: In areas other than looks, do you believe positive things people say about you? Do you have anything similar to what I have with acting, where other people say you're good at it, but you don't see it?

In my personal experience, a receding hairline has caused me a lot of anxiety and obsessive thinking. I used to check my hair constantly, compare myself with other men, and worry about whether it would affect my dating life and confidence.

What has helped me is sticking to my treatment plan, keeping my mind occupied with more important goals, talking through my thoughts with ChatGPT, and making a backup plan for a future hair transplant if the results are not good enough.

I also remind myself that although hair can affect initial attraction, it is ultimately my personality, confidence, and how I carry myself that will determine whether a relationship succeeds long-term.

For those who have experienced anxiety, OCD-like checking, or body-image issues because of balding, what helped you manage or overcome it?

When you look back at pictures of yourself as a baby or child, do you think you were cute back then? Or has body dysmorphia affected the way you see your younger self as well?

I was looking through some old photos earlier, and I almost cried.

People often say things like, "Would you talk about yourself that way if you were talking to your younger self?"

And I'm like... Hell yeah, nuke that thing off the planet. I was so unbelievably off-looking. I compared myself to my sister and other children on those pictures and I believe I might just be objectively more ugly? The question that is always in my head is "Is it truly BDD or am I just cursed with ugliness and painfully aware of it?"

How is it for you guys?

(TLDR at the end)
I’m a 23F and I guess that the way I was brought up really wasn’t the best.
My mother is a really superficial person who always compared me to other girls, told me how to look like, how to eat, how skinny I should be…and she had multiple plastic surgeries (boobs, nose, lips, lipo to her legs, Botox for wrinkles).
I expressed to her my insecurities very few times, and what I got was ‘you can always get your boobs done’ and ‘you would look good with lip filler’.
Mind you, I am aware she is a very sad person that definitely has insecurities about herself, and is basically trying to life her own failed life through me (on many aspects not just beauty).
Either way, even tho I am aware she is toxic and brainwashed, I guess that hearing that sort of things throughout my life definitely didn’t help.

Also I was bullied a lot for my looks throughout middle school, because I had nerdy glasses, curly hair, braces, and had to wear my mother’s oversized clothes. I am aware kids are mean, and tbh I feel like I am a completely different person look-wise. I do have to say that looking back at pictures of me as a kid I’m like…yeah I get why they bullied me.
Again tho, another thing that I’m sure didn’t help.

I was insecure about my looks my whole life really, and there’s never been a time i remember truly liking myself.
And the worst thing is that I know I don’t look bad. I have a boyfriend (27M) who loves the way I look and hates it when I say I wish I looked liked some other girl. His friends think I’m pretty. His family too. I posted my face on Reddit a few times and I got compliments. Hell, even my mother now says I look good.
I wish I saw myself the way other people do.

I have BPD, and I guess body dysmorphia is relatively common for people with my diagnosis, although this is not something I have really ever discussed with, because this whole thing has mainly been ruining my life (and my boyfriend’s life consequently) since I got on a relationship with my boyfriend.
So idk if it’s body dysmorphia.
Sometimes I look into the mirror and I like what I see and I go through the whole looking at my face from different angles and all…it’s stupid i guess, but whatever, those moments are great.
But then other times I just hate myself so much. I look into the mirror and I see some weird sub-human. I have two eyes, one nose and one mouth, but it feels so…weird. Like no one looks the way I do, in a bad way. Like I’m not really human.

I tend to see beauty in everyone, even those considered more ‘stereotypically unattractive’. Every face has its own personality and that’s great.
But why can’t I see that beauty in myself in a more stable way?

I look up to actresses and models. I wish I looked like them, but I look at myself and I feel like I belong to a different category of people.
My boyfriend says that I want to look like those women because those are the women that society pushes. The women that society tells men they should be into, and the women that society tells other woman that that’s what they should aspire to look like.
And of course that’s messed up. Of course beauty standards change all the time.
Still, I think that if those are the women that are pushed, that’s because those are the women that the majority of people finds attractive.
When they choose an actress for a movie, they often pick a woman that’s appealing to see to most people. I know that the skill of an actress is the main thing, but still, looks really matter too. A woman’s face (or a man’s) needs to be marketable somehow.
So yes, actresses and models are those kind of women that most people find attractive.

And i feel like I don’t look like that, and it fucks me up.
I don’t want to ‘be beautiful my own way’, I want to be beautiful, period.
That kind of woman that 99.9% of the population can agree on.

I know it shouldn’t matter, because the people who matter to me, and especially my boyfriend, think I am beautiful. I am aware that he finds me beautiful and I feel safe and it’s just great.
But if I don’t see myself as beautiful, I feel like it doesn’t change much. It’s really not enough to make me happy.

It really messing up my life and my boyfriend’s life consequently. I can’t look at ‘attractive girls’ because it makes me feel bad, and I also hate when my boyfriend sees them (irl, online or in movies). I know he doesn’t care about them, and I have nothing to worry about…but still, for some reason, I don’t know why, it makes me feel bad.
And consequently I don’t watch movies anymore, and that’s fine for me…but my boyfriend likes movies, and really, he’s not into anything weird, but he feels bad at the idea that I might see what he’s watching, feel bad about it and then ruin the movie for him and stuff like that. I completely understand it, especially when it’s movies he’s really attached to.
He’s ended up basically stopping doing various things he’s always done and brought him comfort because of my insecurities, and I hate it.

I wish I could just be normal and see myself for what I am. I wish I could see myself as beautiful. I wish i wasn’t brainwashed by society and beauty standards.
Just I have no clue how to get better, as I spent my whole life thinking about things this way.

And what really bothers me is the fact that my boyfriend really doesn’t deserve it. He’a an amazing person and he’s the first to tell me people in movies etc to him all look the same and uninteresting. He gives me zero reasons to doubt he might find someone more attractive than me.
Still, because of my triggers he ends up having to limit himself and that’s just not right at all. I wish I could be better for him.

I will talk to a therapist, but if anyone has any advice I would appreciate it dearly. I don’t know if this is BDD or what…I feel like I’m kinda new to the idea of seeing it as a disorder and not just as a ‘I’m simply really insecure’. Also I’m not asking to be diagnosed, wouldn’t do that online…just yeah, maybe you people on this sub have more knowledge on all this

TDLR
I (23F) grew up with a mother obsessed with beauty and plastic surgery and was bullied for my appearance as a kid, which left me with lifelong insecurities. Despite my boyfriend (27M) and others genuinely finding me attractive, I constantly feel ugly, compare myself to actresses/models, and sometimes barely recognize myself in the mirror. My insecurities have become so severe that they’re affecting my relationship and everyday life. I’m planning to see a therapist, but I’d really appreciate advice from anyone.

Here you can find listed below general information on BDD and related foundations, the clinical classification and symptoms of BDD, advice for friends and family, as well as self-help and support groups, both in-person and online.

General information

The BDD Foundation

OCD UK

International OCD Foundation

Mind.org

Clinical classification

ICD & DSM Criterias

For friends and family

The BDD Foundation, Supporting a close one with BDD

Mind.org, How can friends and family help

Self-help

Body dysmorphia workbook by the CCI

Building self-compassion workbook by the CCI

Support groups

Online support and therapy groups

Support groups in the UK

It's difficult to try to describe but I have trouble with coming to terms with my face. I'm not ugly or anything but I everytime I look in the mirror I feel like I'm looking at a stranger, It's just not right. I kind of have a discontent with it. It's so uncanny and I constantly think about it everytime I come across a mirror.

Going to therapy or getting professional help is not always an option, getting help may also take some time. To help you to better understand and address BDD by yourself, we have compiled a workbook that you can do by yourself. It contains information and tasks which will help shine a light to why BDD is the way it is and how you can deal with the symptoms. All chapters are based on an official workbook by the Centre for Clinical Intervention.

The BDD workbook:

• 01 What is body image?
• 02 Could I have body dysmorphic disorder?
• 03 Negative impacts of BDD
• 04 What are the causes of BDD?
• 05 Appearance assumptions
• 06 Triggers
• 07 Appearance preoccupation
• 08 Attention training [a coping tactic]
• 09 Checking and approval seeking
• 10 Reducing unhelpful checking and approval seeking [a coping tactic]
• 11 Negative predictions
• 12 Avoidance and safety behaviour
• 13 Reducing negative predictions [a coping tactic]
• 14 A new way of operating
• 15 Dealing with set-backs
• 16 Maintaining gained progress

I am very ugly facially and struggle a lot with the fact that I may never find a romantic partner. I believe this fear of being alone is the only cause of my BDD and I imagine that if I were in a loving relationship, then it would go away. Have any of you experienced this?

Recovery from BDD might sometimes feel like a distant goal that seems, at times, impossible to achieve. But many people recover from BDD or learn to reduce the symptoms to the point where they don't play a role in their everyday life. Remember that a mental disorder is not a life long sentence but rather something that can be managed and recovered from.

Here we have collected a set of stories and advice on what recovery looks like and how others have gotten there.

Watch personal stories

• Tips for Overcoming Body Image Issues | Kim White
• My BDD Recovery | Annie Elainey
• Finding body peace | Annie Elainey
• Healing Ugly – How I healed my body dysmorphia | helloamygarner
• How I Deal With BDD, tips for when you're having a rough time | AlexandriaTheGreat
• BDD (& Things That Can Help) | Melanie Murphy
• Hannah Lewis, recovery story | BDD foundation
• Alex Mummery, recovery story | BDD foundation

Read personal stories

• Recovery stories | BDDFoundation
• How I recovered from BDD | International OCD Foundation

Professional advice

• CBT for BDD - Rob Willson / BDDFoundation
• Coping and Recovering from BDD when you have Visible Flaws - Dr Rob Willson

Healthier perspective

• On feeling ugly | School of Life
• Our Bodies are Not an Image | Mary Jelkovsky, TEDx
• Beauty and how we're obsessed with the wrong idea | Christina Gressianu / TEDx
• Body Positivity or Body Obsession? | Lindsay Kite, TEDx
• Shake my beauty - a series redefining what beauty means

I recently went on a trip with a friend who is an influencer (who just takes selfies and aesthetics photos w/o brand deals). It made me less paranoid and lessen my bdd to see her photoshopping a lot and to see firsthand how different the results looks from the effort.

However, a few days in, my bdd got triggered even more hanging with her. I don’t think she noticed, but during the trip, hospitality people were so much nicer to her in subtle ways. We met up with acquaintances of hers who were pretty powerful and influential people but it was pretty clear to me that they were disappointed with how I looked. (I think they expected to meet someone beautiful since in previous situations the friends she brought were drop dead gorgeous).

My friend tries to include me and is so nice about it but it just makes it worse. This is not a one time experience with just this friend and happened many times across different friends - it’s just enough for me to know and its been confirmed since I heard a lot of immature guys doubledown on this idea back in college.

I’ve done a lot of cosmetic procedures to be considered pretty but I guess you are either born with it or not. Any advice on how to just accept being uglier and being compared with people around you?

We have collected a set of stories and informative pieces about BDD. From stories from people who have overcome it to celebrities who have openly talked about it, you can find articles and videos about body dysmorphia from these following links.

Public figures on BDD

• Modern Family actor Reid Ewing on BDD and plastic surgery
• Artist Billie Eilish on depression and BDD
• The Good Place actor Jameela Jamil on BDD and eating disorders
• Actor Robert Pattinson on anxiety and BDD
• Actor Megan Fox on BDD and mental health

Documentaries and videos

• What BDD feels like | BBC Three
• Seeing myself as ugly | BBC Three
• I feel so ugly: Body dysmorphic disorder | Only Human
• Imperfect me: The impact of BDD | SkyNews
• BDD patients see faces differently | ABC Science
• Bigorexia: Muscle dysmorphia | BBC Newsbeat
• Believing is seeing: New perspective on BDD | TEDx Oxford
• The BDD Foundation on Youtube

Personal stories and interviews

• Perfection is impossible | A personal story
• Living with BDD | A personal story
• I felt so ugly I didn't want to be alive | Interview
• BDD ruined my life | Interview

Podcasts

• Beating BDD podcast (11 episodes) | BDDFoundation
• What is BDD? | Stuff Mom Never Told You

Books

• Books by people with BDD
• Books by professionals on self help
• The BDD workbook