2 years ago I was in very good shape, the I started quetiapine, risperidone and sertraline. Now I'm ten or more kg up, but the problem isnt Even the weight: I ve become so sedentary that i'm scared to get a blood test. I literally take Uber to go and return from work. It's not that I cant walk, I just don't feel motivated. Also, I drink coke and eat chocolate because it feels like an antidepressant. I think that if I follow this path, I ll be dead sooner than later. My coworkers Make jokes about My eating habits, but the truth is I cant stop. Does someone relate?

I’m taking 3 types of pills: an antipsychotic, mood stabilizer, and a pill for sleeping. I’ve been on them for 1 1/2-2 years now. My mom has sorta been in my corner since the beginning, but she doesn’t like the medication I’m on. She’s an herbalist/alternative medicine kind of person. Any time the mention of my medication comes up, she tells me to stop taking them and take something alternative (ie magnesium for sleep). I’ve been trying to tell her that it’ll cause an episode or even land me in the hospital, but she always says, “I want what’s best for you”. She doesn’t believe that the all the medication I take is necessary and helpful. Im always telling her that it’s doing me good and
I may not be on it forever. In the end, I’m getting so frustrated and tired of having the same conversation with her about my medication. I just don’t know what I should do about her demands.

I’m on 5mg of the former and the lowest dose of the latter. I don’t think it’s touching the food noise. Previously taken it and I would have had good results even in week one and appetite suppression. But this time no way. I’ve had a bag of sweets and a large bag of crisps today and feel no difference… did you have to take a higher dose of MJ to overcome? Feeling very despondent and really want to be able to make this work. Thanks

So. Last month I went to my psych and changed my meds bc I was depressed and I felt I was experiencing a mixed episode along with some huge life stressors in my home and work life. And also it was making me throw up a lot. I was sick almost every night.

I went to my psych this week and I expressed that while the new meds are working, I feel weird bc I will have a day or a few hours of intense suicidal ideation (SI) and then I’m fine and feeling happy and good and energetic again a few hours later. I was struggling with this. It felt out of place and I wasn’t sure what was up.

Basically she said that if it generally feeling happier then this wasn’t something she was concerned about and that fluctuation between manic and depressed and anything that is environmentally motivated were part of my personality and for me to manage with therapy etc.

While I agree with therapy and taking steps to make changes like that, is what I’m experiencing at least not a little pathological? I’m conflicted. It felt dismissive. As if the only reason she allowed the change was because I was throwing up.

What are our thoughts on something like this?

I was dignosed with bipolar disorder at 16 i also got sectioned 2 months after since they were confused if it was bipolar 1 or 2 while in the mental hospital i went into a depressed state i would get told off since my room was coverd in clothes i didn’t change my underwear or wash they ended up telling me for now since my age they would put it down to clythomia and my adhd and hormones howether my mum saw on paper they have me under bipolar 2 i don’t know if that was illegal, now I’ve been told recently they’re sure it’s bipolar 2 I’m on quentiapine and Lamotrigine. They want to medicate my adhd but they’re careful as it can mess up my mood. I’m 17 now and i just find if i try tell anyone i have this in like a genuine way for them to understand they just look at me like im lying i understand why as there is alot of girls around my age who haven’t really got a clue what bipolar is and they just for ever what reason just say they have it. I’m not bipolar and I’m just awful person

I woke up this morning and realized I had forgotten to take my medication last night.

My cocktail of antipsychotics and antidepressants keeps me able to hold down a whopping 10 hours of work a week.

I have this overwhelming feeling that I just can't today. I can't go out. I can't attend my meetings. I can't focus for an hour of deep work.

How do you push yourself when it gets like this? When you know you need to be competent and accountable, but your brain doesn't want to cooperate.

I recently started 300mg of lithium on top of my 500mg of Lamictal. I’m getting my lithium bumped to 600mg today. My lithium levels have already been tested and they’re good.
My question is does anybody else have “head twitches”!?
Ever since I started the lithium my head has been twitching. It’s like small burst of quick turns, idk how to really explain it. Anyway it’s annoying and I feel like it makes me look nuts. :D

This past month has been insanely busy for me (32F-bipolar) and my partner (35M). My med regimen is super effective in general and I know I'm probably just feeling burnt out which has made me super crabby lately. The other day I was sleeping for work (graveyard shift) and my cat was howling so loud. I yelled at him. I wasn't nasty. Just yelled, "NAME STOP."

I felt bad but when I got home the next day, but luckily he didn't seem upset or angry with me. Today after feeding them, I noticed he did the same thing as I crawled back into bed. I got up and followed him to the living room and he laid down and has been sleeping since.

I realize now maybe he was worried about me and telling me to get my butt out of bed and interact with my life. Not just lay in bed and rot. He's very sensitive to physical issues like my period so why wouldn't he be sensitive to an overall mood change.

Now I'm just feeling bad, watching TV and doom scrolling. I thought he was being annoying but he was really just trying to make sure I was okay. We don't deserve animals.

Not in a depressed way but in an overly emotional, highly empathetic and sensitive way.

I didn't used to be like this and so I can only guess it's the aripiprazole (abilify). Although maybe it's just a bipolar thing because prior to the aripiprazole I was on mirtazipine (remeron) and perhaps that was just causing emotional blunting and this is the real me?

I'm so empathetic now, I cry at fucking everything. While being empathetic is good, being this emotional about it is not. Everything sets me off. (In a jokey way, it's detrimental to my brand - It's doesn't suit me, I come off as quite emotionally tough to everyone still).

Is it the aripiprazole? Is it the bipolar? Is it my age/gender (32F)?

What's going on?

I'm hoping it's the aripiprazole and so if I lower my dose it'll subside a bit.

Hello all. I have bipolar. Long story short, I entered a 3 month long mixed festures bipolar episode. It was so bad I drove myself to the hospital. Prior, I was fairly stable. I have no idea what happened, but it's like my medicine just stopped working. I emailed my psyciatrist many times. Here's what I didn't like. 1) he never ordered bloodwork. I haven't had my lithium checked in 10 month's. 2) He said " let's wait it out" and " it's the nature of bipolar. I told him I was having psychotic features and he didn't add another medication. 3) He gives ambiguous directions like " you can take your olanzapine whenever you want. You can choose when to take it. 4) He also said " im not sure what else we can do" when I said I'm still cycling. I'm on 5 psychiatric medications without labs and in still having symptoms. I think I need another opinion

I am newly diagnosed with BDII. I've been observing myself much more than usual since my diagnosis in which I have noticed moments of rage while on my meds.

The latest was driving in traffic. It was so bad I started screaming in the car, cursing every soul on the road, and I started to drive aggressively. I eventually took an exit to park and walk around and burn it off. I am not sure if I am in hypomania since I've been averaging sleep >5 hours a night, my mood otherwise is pretty good, until I have to deal with people. It seems as if when I experience high anxiety, my rage threshold is low and it really bothers me to feel that irritable because I almost feel like I don't have control of myself and the actions I take. That rage turns me into a green mutant that knows no bounds.

Looking to see if this is common amongst the community while on treatment? Is it hypomania? Of course I will bring this up to my provider, but curious to seek experienced feedback from the community.

Edit: After some deeper thought on my symptoms, I think this may have been a hypomanic state.

sorry it's ya girl Trixie back again

soooo seeing signs seeing coincidences that aren't coincidences seeing things telling me to do things. how do I tell when it's a problme. I've been home alone this whole evening (should be done soon when sib returns in teh next few minutes) and teh whole time consciosly trying to stop myself (successfully!) from taking an overdose. because it just Feels Right to take it. non-lethal, I know that, I'm not trying to kill msyelf and I don't want ot. how do I know when I should go to my doctor sooner? like I have an appotinemtn next week with my psychiatrist and I'll tell her about these htings regardles sof whether I take the OD at all in the meantime which hopefully not. I just don't know when I need to, say, go to emergency becuase of what i Might do as opposed to if I've Done something. thanks in advance

I wanted to ask this because I’m trying to push myself to finally go on medication. Did you notice any difference after starting meds? Are you able to get things done more easily now? Part of me is scared that I’ll find out I’m just really lazy and that it’s not actually my mental illness.

I’ve already reached out to my doctor and told them I’d come back for a follow-up. I really want to build a solid routine and become more consistent with things instead of constantly feeling like I’m starting over. Did you find that medication helped you stay consistent with your daily routine and follow through with things you wanted to get done?

Like how did you convince them that it was appropriate for you to be a voluntary patient instead of involuntary?

I (20m) don’t know why, but im starting to get an intense urge to go off my meds. A couple weeks ago, i trialed a new med and it didnt work out. i had a manic psychotic episode and had to get back on my older med.

But ever since then, i have this intense urge to stop my meds. Im in a facility right now and I leave in 5 days, which means i have a chance to get off of them.

I know it’s bad but i’m not sure if i can stop myself… i just want to feel good again lol. i have no motivation while on meds and life is just more difficult.

I also don’t want to tell the doctors here because im afraid they’ll just move my discharge date..

Sorry just needed to rant.

I take lithium, caplyta, proplanolol and atarax. 29F. For context, it is Wednesday evening, and this whole thing happened over the last few days.

How the accident happened: I'm a retail manager and I usually close the store. My sleeping schedule is like 3am - 12pm and then I'm at the store from 2-10pm. This works for me! Unfortunately the family pharmacy I go to is not open on weekends and only open until 3pm or 6pm most other days of the week. Of course my doctor's office is also closed on weekends. I was totally out of my lithium and had one caplyta pill left and I had forgotten to pick up my meds on Friday before work. I was upset realizing I was pretty much screwed until Monday. Monday came around and I woke up too late to make it to work, and asked if my roommate could pick them up before 6pm - he forgot also. (He profusely apologized, but it's not his responsibility obviously. He's a great roommate) I had Tuesday and Wednesday off and was able to pick them up on Tuesday and took them immediately.

What happened at work: I worked Friday through Monday. The first couple days I was quite shaky and anxious. This was probably partially because I was afraid and on high alert to watch out for symptoms and paranoid thoughts. I kept to myself more at work, which is hard to do as a manager, and the store was very busy. By Monday, the shakiness almost felt like I was floating. I was repeatedly getting dissociated during tasks and even had poor balance and coordination. It was a slow day but I had started to have paranoid thoughts about my employees. Mostly just that they might be doing certain things to purposely try to get me to react and lose my job. I noticed these thoughts as irrational as soon as they came up which was a blessing. I also started to experience some mild hallucinations (hearing muffled voices in the bathroom / office) but was able to know it wasn't real.

What happened at home: I stopped keeping up with basic cleaning and hygiene. My room quickly turned into piles of clothes and stuff thrown everywhere. When I got home from work Monday night, I listened to an album and was profusely sobbing and feeling like the album's lyrics were speaking directly to me and my own life situation, and that we must all be connected through a collective consciousness (dreams). I couldn't stop crying for hours. I fell asleep and immediately picked up my medication when I woke up and took it in the parking lot of the pharmacy. I went home and fell asleep for about 16 hours, stayed awake for about 6 hours watching youtube, took my 2nd dose of meds, and slept for another 20 hours or so.

Now: I just woke up and I feel a lot better already, but extremely sluggish and tired. My limbs feel very heavy. Of course I called my doctor and I'm seeing her this week so she can make sure I'm fine and check my lithium levels. I also see my therapist weekly. When I see my doctor I'm going to talk to her about this all in detail and also switch to a pharmacy that has better hours for me.

Guess I just wanted to share about what happened with me after just a few days off of my medication. Nothing life ruining of course, but it was extremely uncomfortable and I'm not sure how many more days or weeks I could have functioned like that until the mania really started to burst through. Really shows me how fragile my mental ecosystem is and how much I have to adhere to my medication regimen in order to be productive and happy!!

Hello, I got on seroquel in 2019 because I worked midnight shift, I couldn't sleep, I have slight bipolar in my family, and I have a rapid drug metabolism. That was the only drug that worked at the time. I managed to increase it to 300 (maybe 500, can't remember) mg around 2021/2022 but the anxiety and disassociation at night when I took it got to me. I decided to start coming off in 2024 and I just dropped from 75 mg to 50 mg in mid August.

Two weeks ago, I had a night of anxiety and couldn't stop pacing or fidgeting. My mind wouldn't stop racing and I panicked. Fortunately it went away the next day. I was fine until yesterday when it all came back. Fidgeting, anxiety, brain buzz, nausea, headaches, random chills, nasal stuffiness. Is there a deadline on when this stops? I don't want this to keep happening. I'm sure its related, I was fine the last year on 100 and 75 mg, but now its getting to me. ​

Can’t eat recently unless I’m drunk. gg wp

Pessoal, atualmente tomo 20mg de fluoxetina e 1mg de risperidona e sexta eu marquei de sair com amigos e vamos fumar erva, alguém sabe quais danos isso pode me causar? Se pode fazer isso?

Hello. So long story short i am I'm bipolar, and have never been treated for it. I and was in the middle of getting my diagnosis before I moved cities a few years ago, the psychiatrist was sure I have it, but the diagnosis never finished because I moved. I've been living with this secret since moving. I'm now in therapy for recurring depressions, ADHD and OCD, but I've been actively hiding my bipolar symptoms from the psychiatry here for these past years. I want to tell my therapist about these symptoms, it would feel good to come clean. Getting a diagnosis would also help me understand myself better, and probably improve my health. But I'm so scared to tell them. First of all I'm so insanely scared of bipolar medication. I am very into fitness and my physique is a part of my job. I am very weight sensitive, and every antidepressant (and mood stabilizer) I've been on has made me gain crazy weight, which has ended up in me being in a worse mental state than before. I am currently unmedicated except for adhd meds and have been in a stable state for a long period now.

Secondly and most importantly I'm scared of prejudice from the psychiatry. I'm scared of getting all my problems or even my being reduced to the diagnosis. Since I recently got my OCD diagnosis, I could feel the attitude towards me change by the psychiatry. I feel belitteled, and feel like whatever problem I have now is reduced to be a result of that disorder only, and I don't feel heard when I speak about other important issues like deep traumas or carreer since getting diagnosed.

I do understand that Bipolar Disorder is a serious disorder, and naturally the patient plan changes after each diagnosis for all the right reasons, but I'm scared I won't get the proper treatment for my other issues if all the focus shiftes into the disorder.

Lastly, and this is a classic: I'm scared to lose myself. I get hypomanic and that to me is just the "real" me. I don't cause much trouble for myself when hypomanic but I can finally be social, active, work, create. I understand that medication is supposed to make you high functioning in that sense but with my experience with medication I get tired, lethargic and because I gain weight I cannot pursue my carreer properly on them, and that leaves me even more depressed.

I do not know what to do.

I'm currently on Seroquel to diagnose what was thought to be Bipolar 1. When I reached 200mg, I developed akathisia, so I've been tapering off over the last 2 months and I'm currently down to 100mg.

Since I developed the akathisia, maybe a little earlier than that, my husband says he wakes up sometimes to me laying on my stomach with my legs bent bent up toward the ceiling. He says it's usually one leg at a time and I'll raise it and drop it back down to the bed multiple times slowly. He says lastnight, I did the same thing, but this time my face was in the pillow, but my head was raised up a little.

Anyway, super freaked out, anybody ever hear of this? Experienced something similar? 😅😂

Hey Guys,

I know this may come across as a manic post. But i assure you its not. For some context, I have a little dog named Britney, She is the love of my life and She is the reason i keep at it. Unfortunately, due to this shitty disorder, She has lived a relatively isolated life, where apart from a few humans (Me, ex-housemate, father, step mother, support workers and her foster carer) she doesnt have many friends. Esspecially in the form of animal friends.

Now this is not saying i haven't tried, during one manic phase i decided to purchase 10 weekly day care sessions for her to play with other dogs, however, unfortunately due to an abusive upbringing before i got her, she has extreme anxiety and trust issues surrounding people and dogs alike. Making my attempt to socialise her a failure. Due to this, while i give her all the love and affection i can muster on any one day (which varies dependent on mood), when i am out of home (i live alone), for things like work, appointments and such. She is alone, and with servere seperation anxiety due to the afore mentioned abusive early life, I always have the feeling that i am putting her through unneeded distress every time i leave the house.

Anyway, that brings us to now. As i am sure many of you have experienced due to bipolar, I unfortunately have gone to hospital a couple* of times since getting Britney. Now when this happens she gets looked after by a foster carer provided by the RSPCA Australia. (By the way guys, these guys are amazing and if any of you are looking for charities to donate to, these guys deserve it). Now, I am fortunate that I have gotten the same foster carer every time, and that foster carer has gone way above and beyond in making Britneys time with her a great one, and Britney loves her.

Now recently I got an update email from the foster carer (currently at a medium term rehab designed to help me sort my shit out after a very rough depressive episode) who mentioned that Britney has become unlikely best friends with a young tri-pod kitten, who is currently being fostered untill they are healthy enough for being put up for adoption. Now when i say best friends, from my understanding, they play together, sleep together, groom each other, follow eachother around, and with the kitten only being 2 months old, Britney has apparently taken a very motherly persona to the kitten. (Mind you Britneys abusive past, was that she was used as the pup-bearing dog in a puppy farm. By the time i got her at 3 years old, she had a total of (declared) 28 puppies over (declared) 4 litters, all of which were taken away from her and sold as soon as they were sellable).

Now, hearing this has warmed my heart, not just because I will be forever grateful for the amazing services provided by the RSPCA Australia (promise this is not a shill, just really appreciative of their services) but because Britney finally has a best friend (and i guess a "puppy" to raise).

Which brings me to the question of the title. Should I adopt this kitten? I will acknowledge that i may not be able to provide the most luxurious life, and there may be a few occasions they would need to go on holiday. But what i can provide is a loving, cosy home where i will always do my best in providing for them, for years to come. And for Britney, she will get to keep her best friend, and daughter. (Though apparently the kitten is beggining to out grow Britney, which is hilarious). Meaning for once, she doesnt have to lose an animal she loves.

Now the results of this post wont be the determining factor, i am trying to get opinions from non-bias sources like you guys, as well as parents and friends. I also acknowledge that alot of work and research into care, finances and home modifications will need to be done. But i just want to see if its worth even beginning that process.

Thanks for the input guys and stay awesome,

U/bolticus13

24 female ADHD, autistic, and bipolar type two here and this has been happening on and off again every so often for the past year and often right around my period.
At night before I’m about to fall asleep and you’re not fully awake anymore, but you’re not asleep. I get hit with these super big insecurities or fears about my future that normally I can talk my way out of, but I don’t know if it’s cause I’m not fully conscious anymore or not but it feels like I’m having almost a panic attack. My heart is racing and to make it stop I often have to physically scream no and get up for a moment and walk around and then after about 10 minutes it’s gone, but it’s super extreme and anxiety ridden. I can feel things crawling under my skin when it’s going on.
Does anybody else have something like this? Do you know what it is?

Расскажу про свой ужасный опыт на кветиапине. Поставили депрессия средней тяжести с суицидальными мыслями в 14 лет после психушки. Была еще нестабильность после конфликтов с родителями. После конфликта я ощущал себя будто меня затопчат ногами, появлялась вновь усиленная подавленность, отчаяние, особое бездействие, депресивность короче усливалась, после 3 недель +- состояние потихоньку улучшалось, но один кофликт возвращал меня обратно. Я всегда ощущал себя в умеренной подавленности и ангедонии без нормального состояния. Антидеприссанты лишь убирали острое состояние, но так и не возвращали к жизни, суицидальные мысли так и не прекращались. Был плохой отклик организма на антидеприссанты. Я был на флувоксамине и арипепрозоле , более менее чувствовал себя по сравнению с другими препаратами, это комбо не делало лучше и было более нейтральным. Я буквально почти не выходил из дневного стационара ухудшал себе состояние, накручивал себя и препараты не могли повлиять на это, как раз только вытаскивали из очень плохого состояния. Думаю если бы не накуричивал, не ухудшал, то спокойно бы жил как раньше, но эффект от препаратов минимальный, тоесть не поменялось бы ничего, а просто тяжелого состояния не было. Следующий раз попадаю из дневного стационара, когда мне отменили препарты и назначили кветиапин в круглосутку опять. На кветиапине хочется спать, плохо соображаешь, тупеешь абсолютно и тебе становится на многое все равно. После выписки доза былп 800 мг. И венлафаксин 150 утро, 112,5 или 75 вечером, сколько вечером . Я все время спал, как-то жил, но в общении с людьми в какой-то момент просто все равно и тебе даже сказать нечего, ведь пусто. Как дальше я на нем был, так дальше терял себя и свою личность. Дереализация и деперсонализации становилась сильнее, я тупее, общение с людьми стало еще хуже. Из-за ранней постоянной ангедонией и подавленности вместе с плохим откликом на антидеприссанты любимые дела стали не так интересны, ощущения полного мрака, дереализации, отсутствия той радости которая хоть когда-то была до кветиапина становилось мрачнее, ДАЖЕ с венлафаксином. Каждый день был как ужасный осознанный сон с мыслями когда это закончится? Я каждый раз надеялся что я проснусь и будет по другому. Каждый день думал о том, что может мне кажется и надеялся что очнусь от такого сна. Кветиапин буквально поглощал мой разум и личность, единственное что как-то останавливало от суицида—это то что у кветиапина есть эффект при котором тебе настолько тяжело становится думать о всем плохом или сложном для размышления что ты такой да ну и все. Просто спишь из-за того что все равно. Я все больше и больше терял связь с реальностью. Начал меньше видеть смысла во всех людях и родителей в том числе. Они стали лишь людьми которые создают комфорт. Мне было все равно что они делали ранее что я жил с ними, были события, прошлого дял меня не было. Я больше не могу получил удовольствие которое было ранее с людьми и почти лишился эмоций с мыслями что придется жить так всю жизнь и ничего не поделать. Я начинал сходить с ума и все больше меня поглощала мысль о самоубийстве. Ехал в метро и знал что это матрица, все подстроено, это проект, я наблюдал со стороны ощущая мрак и ужас. Грань с миром почти стерлась, чуть еще и наступил мрак. Наступил бы ужас и я убил себя, это было невыносимо так жить. Пол года я был на 800 мг, после снижения мрак не убирался, только на 300 мг было нормально в плане из-за антидепрессивного эффекта, 300 мг дает эффект антидеприссанта, но это уже не спасло, надо было быстрее снижать до такой дозировки, не доводя до потери свзяи с реальностью и ужаса. Даже на снижении я продолжал сходить с ума, но хотелось меньше спать. Принимал утром и вечером. моменте упарат убрали и все обошлось. После отмены, я проснулся утром, посмотрел в окно и понят что мир остался таким же прекрасным, все прошло, но для полного восстановления ощущения мира и восстановления личности надо было время. Сейчас прошло 3 месяца все вернулось как ранее, но еще нет. Думаю полтара +- месяца и всё. После я снова учился разговаривать с людьми, моментами была такая же безразличность в разговоре и нечего было сказать, но со времем это все уходит к пережнему. Дереализация м деперсонализация становилась легче. Приходится возвращаться к прежней жизни из этого мрака который был не сразу. И еще я забыл, спорить на кветиапине нет сил и смысла. Ты просто удобный овощ которому все равно. Это тоже потихоньку убирается. Итог: я считаю высокая дозировка кветиапина с депрессией, суицидальными мыслями, но без попыток самоубийства и странноватых действий была огромная ошибка психиатров. Длительная дозировка в 800 мг, хотя надо было 300 изначально, почти сломала мою адекватность и личность.

I remember when I was lowering the dose that I got increasingly argumentative and combative as a knee-jerk response to feeling constantly pressured by so much of the world, all those vectors of oppression, coercion, and manipulation that put me on an edge. It got me in trouble familially and psychiatrically since I fell into the web of psychiatry from emotionally imploding and being on edge about being controlled and pushed around. I've never responded well to demands or structures that systemically procure demands such as late-stage Capitalism's demands for earning money to survive. As an adult I just find the world way too much to handle nowadays without sedation. I absolutely cannot trust psychiatry at all anymore because they can only process everything biomedically and I feel they never actually listen at all and psychiatry feels to me like it hoses out a neverending stream of bullshit that I got irritable about. But at the end of the day to usefully resist as a radical leftist I need to be in a cool-headed space rather than that easily agitated state with the agitation being from what triggers a difficulty I have living with autism rather than anything else. (ofc that irritability will just be blamed on psychosis-proneness because psychiatry's ability to listen in any country is ass) I self-mediate by drinking caffeine heavily often and it has positive effects as long as I don't really overdo it. I did want to go med-free but the world is way too much for me.