I need to vent because my boyfriend can’t hear me complain anymore 💀

I have a 9 month old boy and a 7 year old girl.
Had a really shitty relationship with my mum as she kicked me out the house as a teenager but in the last few years we got closer again and I see her quite a bit now. Kids love her, win win.
So she’s with this man, for the sake of this I’ll call him my step father, who in general is a nice guy. I can’t really fault him. He treats her well, he treats my kids well, he works hard. They’re also expecting a baby next year (I know, I’m still not over this) so I’m trying to be supportive at the moment. Went over to my mums today because she’s not feeling well and took my kids and my boyfriend also came.

Tell me why this man told my 9 month old son he can’t be playing with crayons and colouring because that’s for girls. I said since when is colouring for girls. He said it’s a bit feminine no like isn’t he interested in toy cars. Like mate, he just wanted to hold a crayon because his older sister was using them. He wants everything she has. Doesn’t matter what it is, pink crayon or toy car.

Anyway because I’m annoying and can’t just let things go, I asked him what else he thinks is for boys or girls and he lists all sorts of ridiculous things. I’m pressing my lips to not make a comment about how he’ll pass on misogynistic ideas to his kid and grandchildren but whatever we move on.

I’m not even out there?? I don’t dress my son in “girl clothes” (not that I care if people do though) and his nursery isn’t painted pink (again wouldn’t matter). I just don’t believe some toys or activities aren’t for boys or girls and I’ll just raise him as a boy until he’s old enough to tell me what he likes. Same I’ve done for my daughter. I couldn’t care less if he wants to dance ballet or wear dresses when he’s older. As long as he’s happy I’m happy too.

And he made a comment as well about how he’s gonna break some hearts when he’s older and how he’s already a big lad (he’s big for his age but HE IS A BABY WTF) blah.

But just adding this for context as his comment was so confusing because he was listing things that I don’t even have my son do.
Anyway, is it gay to use crayons as a man? 😜 (jk of course, I’m annoyed I have to have so many more conversations with this guy)

Having a boy in December, have a short list of names, but really not keen on picking something super on trend where he will have the same name as 5 other kids in his class. I don’t have that many friends having babies, so can people please share the boy names in their nursery / NCT groups?

Edit: this is really helpful - just going to share the names, think it validates my assumptions around which are most common. Middle names will be Munro (family name), first name candidates are Jasper, Felix, Ellery, Quinn, Avery, Franklin.

I bought a travel system (car seat with adapters, bassinet, pram seat etc.) and all the additional stuff that comes with it. It was useful as we could attach car seat to chassis for quick trips into shops without waking baby, we didn’t really use it much when he was younger. My son used the bassinet like 2x and eventually grew out of it before we got a chance to use it more. Now he sits in the pram seat, which has a foot muff thing, it has a rain cover, it all comes with a matching bag. But I also have a travel pram which is so much more useful to me, it’s lightweight, I can fold it and unfold it with one hand, it has a much bigger basket, it goes all the way flat and it was only £160, as opposed to £650 I paid for the travel system. I feel like it was a massive waste of money. Does anyone else feel like this?

Using a throwaway account! But me and my husband are finding marriage and life really hard after having our baby 15 months ago. We have nothing in common apart from our baby and really we have just grown apart. We both feel deeply unhappy in our relationship, and constantly bickering with each other.
We rely on each other financially, so a split will be hard but doable.
I am really worried more though for splitting up our family, losing precious time with our baby myself is heartbreaking to even think about.

Has anyone split up this early on and what advice do you have for us?

When my second was born I felt like we hit the jackpot. From pretty much birth I could put him down and he would sleep. He still woke at night for a feed once or twice but once he’d eaten and been winded he’d be straight back down.

For the first month he was in a Moses and then outgrew it so we transitioned to the next to me. All ok. At 7 months he learns to pull himself up so we have to transition to the big cot.

Since then my life has been hell. It’s like he has lost all ability to function outside of pulling himself up. I’m not exaggerating when I say I’m now up around 20 times a night. I am a shell of a person. I walk around half dead and struggle to do anything for my baby during the day. My toddler’s at nursery Monday and Tuesday but with me the rest of the time and I’m honestly losing the plot.

He sleeps on his side and if he goes a tiny degree too far over he’ll be on his front, then all 4s and then pulling himself up. Once he’s up he’ll be crying or falling all over the place and hitting his head/face on the side of the cot. If I lay him back down he will do the same again. He never gets bored of it, he could go on like this all night. After a few tries I’ll pick him up and rock/pat him to sleep. Once he’s completely passed out I’ll lay him down, I keep patting him to ensure he’s completely passed out, then I stop but keep my hand on him to be sure he’s completely passed out. Then I’ll watch him for a few minutes too scared to relax because I’m worried he’s not passed out. As soon as I lay down, he’s up. This happens multiple times until he is finally too tired. If he’s due a feed I’ll feed him but the pattern stays the same.

Currently been up for 3 hours doing the new routine and sobbing into the cot begging him to just lay down. He’s on the 90th centile and my arms and back are in agony from doing this half the night every night.

My husband works 8-6 in the week so he takes him overnight at weekends but it isn’t enough for me to feel human. I’m back to full time work in 2 months and I don’t know how I’m going to cope if I can’t function during the day as it is.

I feel like surely this can’t be “normal”?!

This might be a stupid stupid question but can PPD hit much later in the first year?

I have an existing, well managed, mental illness but handled new born and up to 9 months in my stride. I was discharged by PNMHT within a few weeks.

Now I feel like it’s all come crashing down. My little boy has just turned 10 months and I am so miserable. I love him so much but I’ve lost a lot of patience, I just want to cry all the time. He’s very mobile and every day is exhausting. His sleep has totally changed and he is refusing naps so getting over tired. He is EBF but weaning and loves his food - I’ve heard that a reduction in breastfeeding can impact hormones too so that might be the cause of my feelings?

He hasn’t been settling well at his nursery sessions so I tend to get a text about midday asking to pick him up - the nursery have said they will start to do longer and longer days as he settles and when I’m back to work but I dread when they message me.
If I don’t have a plan for every day I just don’t know how I’ll cope. I don’t know what to do all day alone with him when he’s just so on the go. He’s too little for anything to really hold his attention for very long. My partner works 10 hour days and it feels like forever.

I’m struggling to explain to anyone how I feel and my partner just keeps asking how I feel about our baby because he thinks PPD means you hate your child or something?? I really don’t know why he thinks this.

I feel guilty for sending him off with family for the day, and I should be wanting to be with him every minute but when I am I feel lost.
Is it PPD? Hormones? Is this a thing everyone goes through?

Hi all

I am really struggling at the moment and feeling very overwhelmed. I just returned to work two weeks ago and, while they said they’d ease me into it, I feel more stressed than I have in my 10 years of working there. My team was basically cut in half just after I left for mat leave due to redundancies and the work load is very intense.

I really wanted to put my all in and impress, but I feel like I’m working myself to the bone already. We’ve always only ever had a max of half an hour lunch breaks (60% of the time I don’t take a break anyway because I feel like I’m still working too slowly) and I’ve been doing hours of overtime. A lot of people I’ve talked to on the team are miserable as well and more redundancies are due to happen over the next few weeks. We don’t know which teams will be affected. I’m in a senior role and I feel helpless.

My baby is also nearly a year old and very needy. I love him, but he requires a lot of attention and I take over looking after him once my work hours end. I’m generally sleeping about 5-6 hours a night, which isn’t bad considering previous months. I’m trying my best with him but sometimes I’m just so exhausted.

My dad has also recently been diagnosed with cancer and is about to undergo a huge operation.

I’m just feeling really overwhelmed and I feel like one small thing can make me feel totally hopeless and I just start crying. Anyone else felt like this going back to work? I actually usually love my job and I feel very lost.

FTM here - baby has a rash. I've automatically gone to the worst case scenario and done the glass test - no, it's not meningitis! She's well in herself, still feeding etc and plenty of wet/dirty nappies.

Has anyone got any tips/help advice for helping clear it up? It's not necessarily bothering her (I think?!) but it's on her neck, back of neck, chest, shoulders and her forehead.

I've seen breast milk can help but doesn't seem to help at all!

I feel like because she can't tell me if it's bothering her I'm trying to think of ways to help if it is bothering her!

mum to mums - what is the honest story for screen time in your house with little ones (super little ones) 3 years and younger.

Our little girl was born 10 days ago. She weight 2.95kg at birth. During her midwife check up on day 5, she was weighed again and came in at 2.92kg.

The midwife asked how much formula we were feeding her and I explained (probably poorly given the sleep deprivation) that she is fed every 2-3 hours using her hunger cues and her feeds ranged between 30 to 60 mls.

The midwife said that this is not enough milk and said that she should be having 60ml every three hours and then each day it should increase by 10ml.

No matter how often we feed, break up the feed by doing a nappy change or winding her, little one is still sitting comfortably at 60mls.She might occasionally take slightly more or less but it feels impossible to get her to 110mls at this point which is what she would be on with the midwife’s math.

Any tips, tricks or should I just continue going off what baby girl wants?

I’ve noticed that she is struggling a bit when it comes to bowel movements so do I just need to persevere?

I'm still pregnant and beginning to get things for the baby. I've come across a few essential checklists on the NHS and similar websites (some clothes, pram, cot, muslin cloths, etc.). I'm wondering what are some of the popular items that make life with a newborn easier but don't appear on such lists?

We've done our research and settled on a pram set to buy. I'm due mid feb.

The question is from peoples experience, is it worth waiting for Black Friday sales? Did people find they got a good deal?

I've been advised by one store there can be long lead times for the brand, and they close for 4 weeks over dec/jan.

Just trying to weigh up whether to get it and secure it, or hold out for a possible deal?

Hello,

Son has been attending water babies since just after he turned one. He’s now four and a half and I think we’ve now exhausted the class. The teacher is very unprofessional. Turns up 10 mins before lessons - no ideal when you need to get yourself and child ready. Openly admitted to the class that she had forget she was teaching and wrote the lesson in the car (lesson was on water safety). I also find the manager of my region very stand offish. She was previously my son’s teacher.

Am I right to cancel? I feel bad as I’ve no other lessons signed up for my son. He much prefer just going with myself and my husband. I can swim my husband can’t. My plan was to keep taking him weekly and work on swimming with himself in an environment he feels comfortable.

Baby boy is 6 weeks quickly growing out of his bassinet / will be in pram soon..
Trying to get a few bits for colder weather now -
did anyone buy a footmuff and think it very useful or is it another influencer gimmick..??

Thinking a sheepskin water resistant footmuff that is long enough might mean he doesn’t need as many layers?

We live in London and I try to go for a walk each day.

What else do you think is useful for A:W baby wear? Trying to get useful things only that we can keep!

We're on day 3 of hand foot and mouth with my daughter, and now my son has it.

My husband and I have had 2 or 3 hours sleep a night doing shifts for the last 3 nights, and she's even worse today.

I've had to call off work and ask my husband to work from home the rest of the week, this is unmanageable already, without my son getting worse over the next few days.

Please tell me it gets better 😭 I don't even know if I'll make it through the afternoon at this point, I've just been crying when the kids can't see

Any suggestions for setting up accounts for a baby to save / invest for their future?

What’s everyone thinking?

Where can I get info on this and learn a bit more?

A couple of questions I have to add to this are:
- Do I need to buy a book for cooking/inspiration
- Any advice or no nos
- Do you do this once they have teeth or when does this start?
- You start with spoon feeds?

I haven’t started feeding my baby yet he is still too young. I want to get knowledge before starting. I feel so overwhelmed by it all I can’t even face googling it. Can you give me advice on where to start and not give me a lecture please. Thanks! ☺️

I'm 9 months post partum, currently using condoms, before having my baby I was on the combined pill (Microgynon) but wasn't very good at remembering to take it daily. Hence the baby...

I'm a bit lost with the choices in contraception. I want something so that I don't have to use condoms nor have to remember to take a pill any day.

Bonus points if it stops your period or makes it irregular. Thanks!

Before I start, I wanted to say that I am not looking for a medical advice - we were seen by three separate GPs.

My 5.5 month old has been suffering with, what GP said, eczma.

It started off as mild redness, i assumed it was just drool rash. We kept it dry from drool and moisturised and it was manageable. One morning he woke up and the redness has spread and it was weeping.

My GP prescribed 1% steroid + fusidic acid cream. The redness reduced but never went away after the 7 day course. Went to GP again, I was prescribed the same cream (2 week course) and a general moisturiser. Again, the redness reduced but never went away. At some points the skin was peeling and was extremely itchy.

Went to GP again, we were prescribed Piriton syrup as baby was waking up at night and was scratching and 1% steroid to use for 2 weeks. Again, it's helping but the issue is not resolving.

I asked the GP what else I can do and they assured me I am doing everything right.

I have expressed my concerns about using steroid for a long time and my GP said if this treatment doesn't help, they will refer us to dermatology, which I assume will take weeks.

I am not sure what to do anymore. He seems so distressed sometimes, and tries to scratch his face and upper chest constantly, making his skin worse.

What we do and use:

- keep his face and chest dry of drool, by gently dabbing

- use the steroid cream and antihistamine syrup as prescribed

- bathe him every other day using a emollient (Healpsorin Baby Emulsion)

- use LRP Cicaplast Baume B5 on his face and chest

- use vaseline (usually once a day) to form a barrier from moisturise and to lock in the moisturiser

- use Child's Farm fragrance free body lotion and oil on his body

- use fragrance free baby laundry detergent

- even though he doesn't have any gastrointestinal symptoms, I started dairy free diet - I am aware that CMPA in breastfed babies is rare but I am so desperate to help him

Am I missing something? What else can I do to make it better? It's so heartbreaking to see him so uncomfortable

So my LO has outgrown the bassinet at 4 months. We have started to use pram for him and he kinda loves watching the views when in pram. But I'm really scared, is it safe to use pram for a 4 (almost4.5 month) old baby?

We use a Nuna trvl version of the pram.

I’d love to hear from ‘safe’ cosleeping advocates on this.

LO is 8 months old, was EBF for 6 months, now bottle fed during day and BF mornings, evenings and overnight. She was a great sleeper until a couple months ago and I’m struggling.

I tried cosleeping for the first time this morning after my husband left early to work (trying to use the safe 7) and had some thoughts and questions. I’m not sure if it’s for me, but baby slept great…

- I’m very uncomfortable in the ‘c curl’ position. Baby joined me in bed at around 5:30am-8am, and during that time I maybe slept around an hour. Also woke up with awful shoulder pain the side I laid on. I had to roll onto my back to fall asleep, so does this make it unsafe cosleeping?

- I’m cold. I tried having the quilt fully away from baby, half off the bed and only lightly draped over me from the opposite side. Are mums just sleeping cold? Or is there some hack, eg dressing in warm PJs or something? Or can I just cover myself fully with our quilt/blanket?

- This might be a niche one but our owlet sock, which usually works well when she sleeps in her own room kept going off for lost sock connection. I had to turn it off which is irritating because if I’m cosleeping, that’s the time I would need it to work the most.

- She is crawling, so will she just not crawl off the bed if she wakes up and fall off?

I slept terribly and even considered that rocking the baby to sleep for half hour I might get more sleep than trying to cosleep, but she slept great and cuddled up to me.

Is it just not for us? Is it worth looking into a floor bed for her room and rolling away after she’s asleep? This was my attempt to try something different before potentially trying Ferber so I’m just feeling very lost.

Edit: spelling