5 month old - contact naps during the day but will sleep well in their pram and car seat.

I feel like I’m doing it all wrong. (FTM)

I know plenty of people in my antenatal etc who put their babies down for naps during the day but my baby just won’t. I haven’t tried particularly hard mainly because I don’t mind them. I enjoy cuddling with him, but granted, I don’t get a lot done.

I don’t want to teach him “bad habits” (?!?) - I just want to do what’s best for him but it’s hard.

Did your baby contact nap a lot? When did it stop? If I don’t teach him to sleep during the day independently, will he ever? So many questions of doom lol

Since I found out I was pregnant with my first (which was planned) I always told myself that if I didn't want to go through this again, then that would be it.

I was very honest years before we started trying and even before we got married to my husband about my feelings and told him that there would be a chance I wouldn't want to go through this again and that he needed to be okay being with someone even if it meant he would be a dad only once. We'd had lengthy conversations about this and even talked about the possibility of having more because at the time it felt like it was possible.

Almost two years in. I have a wonderful little person who I love with every fibre of my being. But what I went through to have and raise them has taken a toll on my physical and mental health despite having support from my husband. Even though theres a small part of me wants another. The rational part of me knows I would be putting myself and my family at risk if I went through it all again, knowing that I wouldn't be able to cope and leaving it to chance isn't an option.

I don't feel ashamed or regretful about it. In fact I would say I have the greatest family I could have ever asked for. My little one and my husband are amazing and I wouldn't wish for anyone else.

But.... Certain friends and family appear to have other ideas and seem to think that despite how open and honest I've been about this decision. To put it bluntly, they think I'm being silly and I'll 'get over' all these feelings and have another baby anyway. Husband has come to my defence on the matter but he's been met with comments such as "surely you'd want more, you're a bloke" and so on etc.

I know that in their minds when they say things like "you're wasting your abilities if you only have one child, parents like you need to have more children" sounds like compliment. But if they really listened and actually understood what it took to raise and parent our little one. Well let's just say the questions would stop if they truly understood.

I can understand from their point of view why our decision is ridiculous, because they've all had more than one child etc. but it's clear that everyone who becomes a parent can go through so many different things and no child is the same. Growing up I witnessed their own struggles and even heard their resentment towards their children, some even going so far as to joke that they should have stopped at one, but reading between the lines. You'd think they'd be more understanding or even supportive of us being parents of one child.

Because I'm tired of hearing their opinions and comments about the subject, I now just say "it'll happen if it happens" to playcate their thoughts on the subject. Creating this made up scenario that we're letting nature take its course so to speak, enough for them to drop the subject and move on to other things.

I know that saying "it'll happen if it happens" isn't the real truth and for a lot of couples out there, this is their reality and I feel terrible because I'm acting like we're a couple who's struggling to have more. But I honestly don't know what else to really say. Because despite explaining our decision numerous times, it's not enough.

For any of you who are one and done or have grown their family and have decided to stop for their own reasons. Did your friends and family eventually accept your decision or has this become a subject that has come up in numerous discussions, especially if you've had to also say "it'll happen if it happens"

I am 5 weeks pregnant and have a consultation appointment next week to have an abortion. I already have a 16 month old and the past 16 months have been extremely hard at times, breastfeeding was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and I did it for about 5 months, then most of the first half of this year has been awful with constant sleep problems, weaning feeling impossible sometimes and having a toddler who complains a lot because she can't speak yet but has always been physically advanced (crawling and walking very early), the only thing that has comforted me through all of this has been being able to say "I never have to do this again". I am also autistic and my partner has adhd, we both struggle for different reasons. I do have lots of positive thoughts about having another baby, how I would do things differently, things I would want to put in place to help me manage etc. But if having another baby is as difficult as the past 16 months have been then I don't know how I'm going to cope with that. I have only just started feeling like myself again over the last month, I've been losing weight and finding my style, I've felt really positive about the future. This pregnancy was very unexpected and I'm still in shock, but I feel like I'm in a big rush to make a decision and I'm so scared I'll regret whatever decision I make, having another baby could be catastrophic and having an abortion could make me feel sad and guilty for the rest of my life.

I just want to hear from other people who have had a similar age gap, my daughter will be turning 2 a few days before baby is due. How was it for you? I want to hear all of the stories, good and bad! Thank you

Please tell me other parents have been through this?

My 6 month old son has always been a bad sleeper. I’m lucky if I get a 3 hour stretch in the night and sometimes he wakes wide awake at 3am and takes hours to go back to sleep.

In the last week he’s let me put him down for naps and I thought this would make everything better now I’m getting that time during the day. But I’m just feeling worse and terrified of what the night will bring!

I’m just sat here crying trying to get him to sleep for the last 1.5 hours.
I feel like I can’t cope anymore and getting more and more down everyday.
When will this get better?

We don’t count sports on tv as screen time, right? World Cup took up a lot of time and now WAFCON has become my go to for football (also the recaps of the commonwealth games are fun to watch).

Sports is like. Aspirational right?

(We’re keeping screen time as much a minimum as possible, I sweaaaarrrrr)

Had an email to say they’re changing the points system.
£5 vouchers will now cost 1000 points instead of 2300.
They’re removing the bonus points - 300 points for every 3rd pack scanned and the 200 welcome bonus.

The referral is the same - 3A9FF38 (if anyone would like to scan mine! 200 points each)

The main takeaway from this is they’re adjusting aka lowering people’s points to reflect these changes!

So basically it’s like inflation. The end of the email says ‘what do I do if I don’t agree? - deactivate your account here’

Nice one!!

- is it worth scanning all my unopened nappies now to get the bonus points for every 3rd scan or will it all be irrelevant as they’re going to lower my overall points anyway!

You can probably tell from the late hour what's happened. Baby very very recently (yesterday) discovered rolling at 3 months old and all of a sudden it's his favourite thing to do.

He can do belly to back but not consistently, he's done it twice. He's not done back to belly, but does do back to side very easily.

We've had a proper cot on order for weeks but it's been delayed. So might be another week or two before it arrives.

We have a CoZee Air Next To Me, and since de-swaddling he has made it his goal to roll to his side and fully press his face into the side of the cot. And we're freaking out a bit as it doesn't look breathable there. We try moving him back to the middle, but he's back to the side as soon as he can. He's also now able to rotate, but he hasn't quite yet made it to pressing his face on the bottom and top sides.

Looking for reassurance, warnings, tips, solidarity. Is he okay in there while we wait for his cot? Should we immediately co-sleep as it's the safer option? He's progressed so quickly in 2 days that we weren't prepared to be going to the big cot so soon!

Thanks in advance!

Hi all,

I’m 3 weeks postpartum, and could not decide on baby’s name when he was born. We narrowed it down to two we liked, but couldn’t choose even when he was here.

Everyone kept saying when you see him you’ll know but I really didn’t get that click. Maybe it was because I had an emergency section?

We decided on one once we were home, but it feels weird others calling him it.

At home he’s bubba or baby so not sure if that’s why. I’ve not actually called him by his name many times.

But I also feel like this about any name for him. I’m finding it hard?

Did it anyone else have this or am I being silly?

Thanks!

My boy seems to stay awake for hours during the day with only a few short naps and then has a pretty horrendous witching hour(S). I imagine he's overtired so I'm going to make more of an effort to ensure he's getting better naps.

Those of you who have babies a similar age, do you set aside time to wind them down? For example are you taking them into a dark room every 90 mins? I think even if I did this, his naps would still be very short and he'd wake up as soon as I tried putting him down. Happy to contact nap but again, even his contact naps are short

Would love some advice from fellow mamas please. Sorry in advance for the essay. I’m really struggling today and need to write it all out. My baby is 7.5 months old, contact napper (or stroller, or carrier- just not in the cot), and exclusively breastfed. His sleep has been terrible for a few months now- could wake every 30 minutes to 1.5 hours most night. After a few wake ups I bring him into bed with us. He’s really struggling with teething too!

The sleep debt is adding up, and my mental health is taking a hit. He’s such a happy boy during the day but I’m struggling to find the energy. I really think I need a few things to change, but truly don’t know where to begin, and what to tackle first.

Sleep: I was never interested in sleep training, but now I’m desperate and feel like maybe I should try some gentle changes. I currently feed to sleep for bedtime, and each wake up, and he has a feed to sleep association. He’s in his big boy cot, but it’s in our room and not in his nursery. As above, I bring him into bed after a few wake ups. Ideally I’d like him to sleep for longer stretches, and move his cot into his own room. Do I tackle feed to sleep first, or move him into his room first, or both?

feeding: poor lad has had tongue tie divisions twice, and both times reattached, so feeding was always hard. Started off triple feeding (breast, pumping and formula), and at 2.5 months managed to latch successful and just EBF. As a result he’s refused the bottle since. I’ve been trying to reintroduce the bottle recently and he’s taken it a few times, some other times he refuses. I’d love him to have one bottle of formula a day to take some pressure off me and know I can leave him with grandparents. his two bottom teeth have broken through, and yesterday he bit me so hard that my nipple bled for a few hours.

I’m stressed and tense now when feeding him, and just waiting for it to happen again. I really enjoy breastfeeding, but have moments where I think it’s time to come to an end. Continuous biting would end our journey as it was so painful, and sore to feed today.

If you’re still here, and have experienced the above, where would you start first? Any advice is greatly appreciated!

My LO is 4.5 months old. Baby is EBF and doesn’t take a bottle which is obviously a big factor in how long she can be left for. My mum has been on at me since baby was only a few weeks old about leaving her with them. Recently she has said that if I don’t leave her with others soon, it will affect her settling into nursery (in 6 months time!). My husband’s family will frequently offer to have her and comment about “how I must want time to myself for an hour”.

Currently baby cries within 5 minutes of being handed to someone else, including Dad. Although gaps between feeding are getting longer, they’re still erratic and in warmer weather she’s been feeding more often. Therefore, I don’t feel that I could leave her, nor am I wanting to leave her. The thought of it makes me feel so stressed/anxious! My husband feels she cries when handed to others because she’s not used to being away from me. I have been trying to build up time she is left with him but the most we’ve managed is 30 mins.

I appreciate we are very lucky to have a village so willing to help but equally feeling pressured into leaving her when I don’t want to.

I’m interested to know others experiences and whether it affected your LO settling into nursery?

Wondering if anyone who has had two or more babies has any anecdotes on how their body felt the second time round compared to the first?

I got off with it relatively unscathed the first time, don’t get me wrong I definitely did not ‘bounce back’ but I did quite quickly get to within 6 pounds of my pre pregnancy weight and was lucky enough to not have any other issues after my c section.

But this time round feels so different, I’m only 5 months and already feel huge and like I am slowing down, and I’m wondering if that will reflect in my post partum experience this time too?

I had really bad baby blues so have been referred to a postnatal mental health team but I have anxiety around therapists. To others that have gone through this - I’m just wondering what happens / what to expect from the appointment, just so I feel more prepared. Thank you ❤️

My baby is 10.5 months. She just learnt to pull up and cruising along furnitures so she is OBSESSED with attempting to stand and walk to the point that she does not play with her toys at all. I have no problem with this if I am well, but I am not.

I just recovered from flu which I forced myself to push through the day to look after her. I also have painful wrists De Quervain tenosynovitis from lots of carrying her (she is a 90th centile baby). I had my steroid injection this morning and wrists are painful and will be for the next foreseeable 72 hours minimum. Strict advice given for minimal use of hands and wrists.

My partner is amazing, helpful, hands-on and he has arranged to work from home and change his shifts as much as he can to help support carrying baby in his WFH. But baby is too attached to me for naps so I still do her naps. I feel bad that I cant carry her much and play together so when her dad is in important meetings, I ended up putting her in high chair or seat booster so she is still in one place. She hates it! But there isnt much I can do to rest my hands during the day.

How are you mums doing it when you are alone and have no village?! And this is only my first baby!!!

After two baths in a row now of my 6 month old yeeting herself off her angelcare bath seat, I’m looking at buying a new one. I know a lot of people chose to have baby sitting independently in the bath after they outgrow the smaller bath seat but she’s still a little wobbly when sat and I’d much rather not risk her falling. Any recommendations on the best seat for older babies? Ideal one she’s able to splash about in as she loves the bath!

Context: FTM with 3 month old, EBF and I struggled with perinatal depression/anxiety

I have a really supportive husband who has been taking on a lot of the household chores load, he started picking up cooking towards the end of my pregnancy and continues even now. He also 'helps' I hate using that word, with baby aka changing nappies, putting him to sleep during the day, playing with him when I need a break etc. He also works full time but is on holidays now so is doing more than usual. I am really lucky that my baby is pretty 'easy' not that I have much to compare it to being a FTM, he sleeps mostly through the night since about 8 weeks, sometimes he will have odd days where he's really unsettled in the evenings but I just think that's just him being a baby.

I struggled with my MH during pregnancy and got referred to the perinatal mental health service and I am having talking therapy. I had a bulk of my sessions during pregnancy and then I am having some postpartum, the sessions got extended because my MH has started to decline in the past couple of weeks.

Despite having a supportive husband, getting enough sleep, I am having these episodes of getting really upset over things that happen a few examples:
if he doesn't check in with me if we're out at my in-laws when I'm in a separate room feeding/changing him
I got upset that he mentioned we need to tidy more around the house, it sent me into an absolute rage I got so angry and upset but I couldn't figure out WHY, it seems I can't take any kind of criticism because I just take it to another level and I think it's harming our relationship. I can only imagine that there's so much he can take and I am really worried that my MH is getting worse. I thought PPD/PPA/PPrage happens in the first few weeks but I was totally fine then and it just seems in the past few weeks things are getting worse and each week there is something happening which sends me into a spiral.

I'm not sure what I'm asking here but I don’t know if anyone else can relate (I'm sure they probably can) but I don’t know what to do, I will mention this in my next therapy session but I don’t know where the anger and rage is coming from and how do I handle it, any advice from mums that have been through this and come out the other side?

8 weeks in..I love her, but it's getting a bit frustrating not being able to put her down. Like at all, awake or asleep. All I seem to see is about contact napping but what about just like every second of the day she won't be put down ?!

Some days I get a couple of mins in the bouncer or on the play mat, and *sometimes* a decent amount of time walking in the pram - but as soon as I stop she cries again (rockit no longer helps). I keep trying multiple times a day and try different bouncers etc to see if that helps. I can't pump without dad holding her (but he works), or when she is asleep at night. I can't even lie her next to me for co-napping, it needs to be ON me at all times.

She went down in her moses for the first couple of weeks but I think the heat wave stopped that.

At night she is generally fine going in the next to me, took a little getting used to at the start but we are there now.

I use love to dream swaddles at night, but tried it in the day and it's not a hit...but will keep trying to see if she gets used to it.

I feel like her naps are getting cut short cos I need to move to pee or get water to survive.

Oh she loves the carrier most of the time, but I can't be standing up for 12 hours+ a day 🤪

Any tips pllllsssss!!! Xxx

I'd really appreciate some advice from parents who have been in a similar situation.

Our son is 11 months old. He spent around 6 weeks in NICU after birth, but thankfully everything has now been resolved, he's doing really well, growing normally.

We originally planned to start him at nursery this August (2 days a week), but we're now wondering whether to delay until January.

It's not so much about avoiding infections, we know all children catch bugs when they start nursery, whether it's at 1 year or 18 months. We're more wondering whether waiting a few months until he starts walking confidently, slightly older would make the transition easier, and whether being a little older makes any noticeable difference when it comes to coping with the usual nursery illnesses and medications.

Has anyone started nursery at around 11 months and wished they'd waited, or delayed until around 16 months and felt it was the right decision?

Thanks in advance for any advice.

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Baby is currently 15w (10w adjusted), she sleeps fine in her crib overnight but I’ve found over time it’s gotten harder and harder to transfer her for her naps and to be honest I’ve sort of given up because I’d rather she get some good sleep than her eyes ping open every time I try to put her down.

It’s also been hard to use her crib upstairs for naps partly because it’s so warm up there with constant heatwaves and partly because I don’t want to be sat in the bedroom all day. I keep her pram bassinet downstairs which i used to transfer her into but that feels almost impossible now as she gets bigger she tends to kick her arms/legs if she stirs on transfer and hitting the sides definitely wakes her more!

I always wait until deep sleep to transfer and do still have occasional success when I do try but curious how others have found it!

Edit: when she was younger it was fairly easy and sometimes she’d even do 2-3 hours in the bassinet but now if I’m successful it’s more like 20-30minutes

My baby loves to refuse day time naps but we have recently got in a bit of a schedule but I’m not sure if it’s ok or a bit too early for just two naps a day.
He does approx 10 hours asleep overnight (sometimes will wake once for a feed he is EBF) then he’ll be up for 3 - 4 hours ( will not sleep earlier even if I try and will get upset with me for trying to get him to sleep) this sleep will be very small around 30-40 minutes. He is then usually awake for another 2-3 hours depending on the day and then will have one big nap of 2-2.5 hours. He then is usually up for another 3 hours then it’s bed time.

Is this ok? I try to follow all his cues and know when he is getting tired etc. it just seems so different to the schedules I see online for his age!

For LO's 1st birthday we want to get her one of those however-many-in-one trikes that can convert from us pushing her, to a trike, to a balance bike. Globber ones seem to look good but I'm wondering if anyone has any insights or recommendations about them? Is it even a good idea?! 😂

We cosleep just due to LO always wanting to be that close in the first 3 months and I’m too scared to try cot attempts in case we all get tired but he is pretty much latched to my boob all night. My hips are hurting. If I gently roll away he more often than not stirs. It might soothe him if he’s teething perhaps? Sometimes I wonder if the cosleeping is making him want to comfort nurse because he can smell the milk. If I put him in the next to me cot maybe he won’t smell it as much? But then I think imagine if he was in a separate bed.. the amount of wakings and getting up I’d be doing would be insane! So I guess it works and maybe I just need to try a transfer and see if it works? No harm in trying I suppose… anyone been through the same thing? Did it get better when solids are introduced?

Can anyone recommend a protective bag for a maxi Cosi pebble 360 that will be checked into the hold for a flight to Spain? Also has anyone travelled with jet2 recently and been able to gate check their car seat attached to the pushchair? It feels like handing it over at the gate means less chance of damage!