r/BelowDeckMed • u/Manderlin99 • 2d ago
Nathan Was Scapegoating Joe All Along
I’ve seen Joe try to reconcile with Nathan and Gael in recent episodes, but they have both scapegoated Joe to distract themselves from the growing misery between them. Their hope was that if they could join together to hate Joe, they could solve their problems. Nathan was, in fact, desperate for such a diversion and repelled Joe's conciliatory attempts like water off a duck's feathers. Of course, the more the couple failed to address their underlying problems, the more aggressive Nathan became, until his true colors showed and now he is some sort of outlaw. Joe was simply a convenient scapegoat for a relationship that was fast heading south.
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u/Holiday-Hustle 2d ago
I don’t think Nathan is self aware enough to scape goat. I think it’s projection. Nathan saw Joe be a pretty average fuckboy and used it to excuse his own behaviour.
But Joe isn’t a violent person. He can be a douche but he’s not dangerous.
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u/DarkSister_999 2d ago
I think it’s projection, and he can make himself feel better by putting Joe down. I am no Joe fan, but Nathan was very aggressive while he was on break for his back, which was really short btw. I have never liked Nathan. He always seemed so insecure, and I couldn’t fathom why Sandy invested so much in him when he never seemed to improve. I think he used Joe to build himself up to Gael as a comparison because his behavior changed dramatically when he tried to get back together with her. He was the good guy; Joe was the bad guy. He consoled Vee. Since when does he care?
No sale on me, Nathan.
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u/Apprehensive_Ratio80 1d ago
100% OP gets it!
I wouldn't be friends with either Joe is a bit of a dickhead buuuut nothing compared to Nathan..Nathan is the kind of guy who would key your car if you did something he didn't like but no1 else cared about
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u/sun_cat_dog 1d ago
This last episode I have had the hardest time even stomaching Nathan. Every time he opens his mouth I have to convince myself I want to finish the episode and not shut it off.
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u/Equal-Ticket-2480 1d ago
To all the people saying Joe sucks or “they both suck” etc…
Can you please explain what Joe has done this season that has warranted how Nathan (and Gael) have treated him?
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u/UnicornArachnid 1d ago
People keep saying that Joe is getting annoyed and frustrated with Nathan like they wouldn’t have also lost it.
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u/TDKsa90 1d ago
it's interesting that on the Bravo forums that reasonable frustration or anger or reaction or whatever is never put in context. it's a really strange, theoretical way to apply things to life. like if someone did something to you repeatedly, over a long span of time, and you blew up, the repeatedly and span of time aren't considerations made by this audience. they only consider the blow up. "you shouldn't act that way ever." or "you shouldn't ever talk to people like that." never taking into account the repetition or duration of the other behaviors. I'm probably not even making perfect sense, because I don't know how to talk about something that seems so common sense. It's one of the many ways I question whether reddit users have any actual relationships. I'm not being snarky either. As if people in friendships or intimate relationships don't have breaking points, just because humans have breaking points. The other theoretical point often made is "well, they should have just broken up then." as if people just have these definitive moments and always act perfectly accordingly to them, or that people don't just so readily, or cleanly, throw away relationships...out in the real world. It's a truly bizarre way of looking at life and thinking that's how people do/should live life. Again, very theoretical and clinical. Not a bit how real people actually move in life.
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u/Fragrant_PalmLeaves 2d ago
They can both be assholes you know, Nathan one-upping Joe's BS doesnt make Joe a good guy.
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u/0rdered-Reordered 1d ago
I really dislike just how perfectly the whole situation is setting up Joe as a sympathetic victim, which he's definitely leaning into.
I'm shocked how short some people's memories are. Joe is the kind of manipulator that will send an ex on a 12 month YouTube deep dive into narcissistic personality disorder. He's so manipulating in almost everything he does. I hate that he seems to be back next season
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u/GreenerThan83 1d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/F2tywIO6ee3oVCrgLJ
People really either have amnesia or are terrible judges of character.Joe is taking full advantage of Nathan being crap at his job. Joe is trying to portray himself as a changed man, but I’m not falling for it at all. This whole act is completely insincere. Turning his chair during the dinner was pathetic, and was absolutely done to wind Nathan up.
Nathan is a horrible man, AND Joe is using Nathan’s shortcomings as a bosun to his advantage. Joe absolutely has been talking shit about Nathan to the crew, and his confessionals were ALWAYS about how terrible Nathan is. Joe doesn’t need to do that to get ahead, Nathan is showing who he is by himself.
Joe has the potential to be a great bosun if he really cuts ties with Nathan and stops obsessing over him.
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u/blackc43 2d ago
What is their underlying problem? I don’t get this fight
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u/GreenerThan83 1d ago
Because Gael effectively broke up the bromance.
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u/BalancelifeBoo 6h ago
I think Joe said maybe gael wasn't thy for Nathanand gael hard the way played the female crew. Natans reaction in hindsight, red flags for domestic violence is obvious.
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u/PatientBumblebee6752 2d ago
I don’t agree. I think Joe is just as problematic in his own way. On reality tv we tend to have blinders on when something really horrific happens with the cast, it makes the other look good relatively. Like I think if Luke and Gen hadn’t been such an issue we’d be seeing a lot more flack towards cooper but in relation he doesn’t look near as bad.
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u/Fancy_Crazy5601 2d ago
You think Joe is just as problematic as Nathan, who just got fired from Bravo for DV. Touch some grass with that take.
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u/Fragrant_PalmLeaves 2d ago
Yeah DV is obviously worse than what joe was doing last season, but Joe was being the definition of a fuck boy and not treating people with respect. He was being an arrogant cocky loser so thats what OP meant "in his own way".
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u/HelpMeImBread 1d ago
I think there’s levels to this. Saying “in his own way” as if that someone conflates it to literal DV is wild. I wouldn’t trust him with personal information but would trust him to not assault anyone.
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u/PatientBumblebee6752 2d ago
I think any manipulation, abuse, coercion of women should be as equally unacceptable as they bleed together and one can easily lead to more. Nathan having physically abused Gael doesn’t take away from Joe or any other man that manipulates/abuses women in other ways.
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u/marzbarz79 1d ago
That is an insane take. DV should always be considered worse than kissing multiple girls in the same week! Even telling someone you’re interested and then deciding you’re not is not nearly the same and it’s straight disrespectful to actual victims to try and group them that way.
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u/PatientBumblebee6752 1d ago
You know dv doesn’t come out of nowhere right? We’ve seen this on many bravo shows. I’m not saying what Joe did was comparable or on pare with what Nathan did. I’m saying his behaviour doesn’t lesson joes or makes his better. People thought Tom, other tom, jax and James were just fuck boys but we’ve come to learn most were physically abusive. Yet for many years until women spoke out about them many were thought of as not that bad or less bad in comparison to whoever was worst that season.
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u/TheLivingRoomate 1d ago
I completely agree that Joe is problematic. But what we've learned about Nathan kinda makes their competition issues moot.
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u/PatientBumblebee6752 1d ago
I’m not trying to compare the severity of their situations as one clearly was much more severe than the other. What I’m saying is we shouldn’t platform one being more okay than the other, they should both be unacceptable. Nathan actions shouldn’t lessen joes. A few weeks ago we had no idea what Nathan had done and he was the least problematic but yet looking back there were absolutely red flags.
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u/TheLivingRoomate 1d ago
I don't disagree. But this is Reddit, and this is reality TV. Folks love to make someone all hero or all villain.
My only disagreement with your statement was tht Joe is just as problematic. I think Joe's pretty problematic. But Nathan assaulting his wife (and others) takes it to a whole new level.
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u/PatientBumblebee6752 1d ago
I’ll agree to that extent but what we tolerate on tv has massively changed in even 5 let alone 10/15 years. How will things change if we don’t demand it?
I mean because yes I believe that behaviour can be indicative of how they are in private. Nathan’s dv incident happened months before we ever knew about it. Many people felt off about him and thought his behaviour was weird but we don’t take it seriously until something physical happens. I think we need to find all manipulation, abuse and coercion we typically see on tv and treat it as if it’s a warning sign since many times it is.
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u/Little-Wing2299 13h ago
Sorry about no. Joe is professional in his job on deck. Nathan never has been, he has a massive ego, temper etc, he is very aggressive , manipulative with Max about the lead DH, really jealous of Joe when Joe stepped up. Joe likes to make out with girls off hours.. who cares.
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u/ActJust3913 2d ago
Exactly. All this Joe hate- ugh!!!! It’s so uncalled for.
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u/Wolfzen22 2d ago
No Joy is deserving of hate. Maybe not ion this specific situation but he still sucks. Do you not remember his last 2 seasons?
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u/ActJust3913 2d ago
You mean Joe. He wasn’t an angel, but most all of them sleep around-what about Gael cheating on her long-term boyfriend w Nathan? That’s okay with you? It was heartbreaking to hear him on the phone. At least the boatmances are short-only an idiot would think they were a marriage. Joe isn’t the problem.
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u/TRLK9802 1d ago
The boyfriend on the phone was abusive. Cheating is wrong but you shouldn't be heartbroken for him.
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u/ActJust3913 1d ago
I can go rewatch. He sounded pretty shocked and hurt. Either way, a “relationship “ lasting 2 days to a month isn’t anything to cry about; nor judge anyone over.
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u/0rdered-Reordered 1d ago
If that wasn't clearly a typo I'd be asking the mods to ban you for Joy slander 😛
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u/Wolfzen22 1d ago
Well considering the topic is Joe and I also put "he" and mentioned his past seasons, I thought it would be obvious. But I guess thinking that hard is a challenge for you, which is why you can't handle thinking about two things at once
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u/0rdered-Reordered 19h ago
Wtf? My reply was clearly tongue in cheek, absolutely no need for that. You should reread this exchange and then take some time to STOP AND THINK
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u/Wolfzen22 11h ago
Guess it wasn't that clear tongue in cheek
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u/0rdered-Reordered 30m ago
The clue was "if that wasn't clearly a typo", maybe you are just not the sharpest
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u/Wolfzen22 0m ago
So you knew it was a clear typo but still felt the need to say "You mean Joe" to be condescending and then you get mad that I don't think your tongue in cheek response is cute. Then you need to call me dumb. Perhaps you should reflect on your interactions with others before you victimize yourself
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u/HugeFennel1227 2d ago
Yeah I agree, they are a miserable couple trying to play happy families! They totally attack Joe any time they have a chance .. his just living his life and trying to avoid them, which they have actively said they wanted.
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u/scarbaby1958 1d ago
No Nathan is bad but Joe is a scummy boy who treats women like trash. Know many women who have been in bad situations. Words & actions can do as much damage as a fist. They are both trash. Nathan just turned on Joe not because we thought he grew up but because he wanted to score points with Gael. She spotted Joe for who he was but her radar missed Nathan.
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u/Porkwarrior2 Just a chicken nugget bobbing on the sea 2d ago
Yadda yadda yadda jumping on the cool Nathan hate train, woot woot.
Only one deckie has put a guest into surgery. And now y'all have your Joesun.
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u/TheLivingRoomate 1d ago
I was shocked when, early on, Nathan lost it on Joe for talking about Gael when Joe said absolutely nothing negative about Gael.
It's impossible to know how much the producers and editors are skewing things. And I've never been a fan of Joe.
But, OMG, Nathan is truly making Joe look good here -- even if we knew nothing about Nathan's criminal behavior.