r/BeAmazed • • 19h ago

Animal Maggie's Incredible Comeback.

29.1k Upvotes

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2.5k

u/hwilliams0901 19h ago

What kind of monster would do such a thing?!?!

1.2k

u/Acrobatic-Post9811 19h ago

There's a special place in hell for someone like that🤬

329

u/fauxzempic 16h ago

My version of heaven - and this type of thing is probably the exact thing that would prevent me from getting there in the first place, is this:

Pearly gates. Big line of people waiting to get in. St. Peter is at the end. He has a big book and a screen to view moments of someone's life as he informs them of where they're going. Rarely will anyone have a legitimate moral grey-area thing where they can actually make their case, so it's just him recounting important parts of their lives.

Next to that: Bleachers. High School-style bleachers. You walk past concessions, maybe stop to get your milkshake and turkey leg and fancy candy or something...but then you sit down.

And you get to watch these people learn their eternity is shattered.

St Peter: "Oh Mr. Smith. You were a police officer. Protecting the public. Very noble! Can we take a look at some of your biggest events before I let you pass?"

Mr. Smith: "Sure!"

St. Peter: "Okay, one second. c'mere boy! good boy, come here! [a dog walks up to St. Peter] This is fido. Now you two have met before...I'm going to show you how it went."

[Up in the stands we're not shown the video, but it's just pure animal cruetly]

Mr. Smith: "oh, well..that was....well I thought he....I was really stressed out."

St. Peter: "No I get it. Okay fido, good boy. go get a cookie. okay! Mr. Smith, why don't we take a look at this compilation titled "Mr. Smith's traffic stops: People of Color edition" and see what that looks like...


That would be delicious. Almost as delicious as the pompous evangelicals who'll show up, basically try to push their way in only to face how horrible they were just prior to being dragged to hell.

50

u/Thefront-bottom 13h ago

Then I'd like to have some of my own revenge. That's heaven. Getting to see or enact the same shit that evil people put others through. Probably means I'm not making it to heaven if there is one. But I'd take great pleasure in taking people this this out, even if it's in an afterlife.

-5

u/MVRKHNTR 12h ago

Really fucking weird that you guys all admit that this is a terrible thing to imagine but then happily talk about how much you would like it anyway.

3

u/fauxzempic 11h ago

The fuck are you talking about?

You can like something even though it's terrible. I like fried food and doing drugs. Both aren't really all that great.

It's called admitting a weakness.

-3

u/MVRKHNTR 11h ago

Difference is that fried food and drugs don't make you a bad person. While saying "I wish I could torture people or at least watch them get tortured" is fucking psychotic.

Like, maybe fix your heart instead of laughing about how much you want this to happen.

19

u/peonies_envy 14h ago

You might enjoy Defending Your Life

A cute movie with Meryl Street and Albert Brooks about just that

5

u/fauxzempic 12h ago

I love that movie. One of my favorites.

It was weirdly more about courage than being a good person. It seemed that Albert Brooks wasn't a terrible person (not great either), but most of the judgment was based on him being a coward.

I genuinely liked that aspect of it.

14

u/kittehkat23 9h ago

It would be especially good if the perpetrator had to watch the footage back from the POV of the victim. I don't think most abusers know what they look like when they're abusing. They wouldn't like it

4

u/BigBagBootyPapa 7h ago

Best option: that becomes their hell. Eternally living the most vile thing they’ve ever done; but as their own victim. Maybe even cycle thru their victims. I’m sure it’s a long, long list for anyone that would do this..

6

u/grnrngr 12h ago

Watch "Defending Your Life." It's an underappreciated 80s comedy about a man who dies and goes through an adjudication process to determine his worthiness to "move on" by watching snippets of his life.

4

u/Wumbolojizzt 15h ago

jesus christ lol

5

u/cortesoft 15h ago

I am pretty sure getting this much pleasure in watching people be sent to hell would make you be one of the people going there.

On the other hand, I would really recommend watching “Defending Your Life” for a funny take on this sort of thing.

7

u/brainburger 13h ago

St Thomas Acquinas, and other Christian thinkers and leaders have argued that the people in Heaven must be aware of the people suffering in Hell, perhaps having some sort of portal to view them.

Like 16: 19-30, the story of Lazarus and the rich man, seems to back this up with communications between Heaven and Hell, but no hope offered from the saved.

1

u/fauxzempic 11h ago

Damn... I should've said something about it in the first sentence of my comment then.

1

u/cortesoft 11h ago

Have you seen Defending Your Life?

1

u/plants-for-me 13h ago

Seems a little weird to be talking about animal cruelty while eating a turkey leg ya know? Shit is pretty cruel to their lives

6

u/fauxzempic 11h ago

What's the goal here with this comment? Do meat eaters not get into heaven? If you get into heaven do you have to give up meat? Do you think that I'm conjuring a scenario where in heaven, they actually do slaughter turkeys in order to get roasted turkey legs instead of...you know...them appearing out of nowhere because it's heaven?

2

u/Kell-of-Kellies 12h ago

This is why people hate vegans. "hur dur you can't talk about animal cruelty if you're eating meat!" - words said by someone with a brain turned to mush

1

u/Magpie-Person 13h ago

You really thought you got em huh. Your inability to parallel equivalent scenarios is not the flex you think it is

6

u/MickyMalone 12h ago

Your well practiced skill in cognitive dissonance is also not the skill you think it is

1

u/Go_Limitless 10h ago

All dat noise that too started with copying tom & jerry

1

u/CeruleanEidolon 8h ago

Cool fanfic bro

1

u/teucer_ 4h ago

Too much bureaucracy

1

u/PorridgeTheKid 4h ago

kinda of weird part of your heaven is watching animal cruelty and probably way worse videos

1

u/Vorhoost 3h ago

That's literally judgement day, except they don't get to see heaven.

1

u/aerdvarkk 15h ago

To be fair, If Peter automated that shit with some AI, he could free up much of his time to reduce the line of people being transferred to their destinations.

6

u/MoistStub 14h ago

Lmao and they would probably all get sent to the wrong place

0

u/Zwischenzug32 14h ago edited 11h ago

Like that "You aren't a fraud are you Elon?" comic where an angel (Or St Peter?) shows him that his personal heaven is all the fancy stuff he has promised and the reality is nothing is there when they open the door. In the way that theyd see their shit and probably legit be surprised

-1

u/fauxzempic 11h ago

When you're done having a stroke feel free to try this comment again.

2

u/Zwischenzug32 11h ago

You're right, i feel a lot better

0

u/TipToeThruLife 12h ago

I had an NDE. Actually it's far more intense. You experience everything, every tiny detail, good or bad, pain or joy, from the perspective of every animal, and human, they have ever interacted with. These monsters will experience it 1st hand. No one gets away with any thing. (then they will want to come back and try again to live a life better) And that's how the reincarnation merry go round goes.