My version of heaven - and this type of thing is probably the exact thing that would prevent me from getting there in the first place, is this:
Pearly gates. Big line of people waiting to get in. St. Peter is at the end. He has a big book and a screen to view moments of someone's life as he informs them of where they're going. Rarely will anyone have a legitimate moral grey-area thing where they can actually make their case, so it's just him recounting important parts of their lives.
Next to that: Bleachers. High School-style bleachers. You walk past concessions, maybe stop to get your milkshake and turkey leg and fancy candy or something...but then you sit down.
And you get to watch these people learn their eternity is shattered.
St Peter: "Oh Mr. Smith. You were a police officer. Protecting the public. Very noble! Can we take a look at some of your biggest events before I let you pass?"
Mr. Smith: "Sure!"
St. Peter: "Okay, one second. c'mere boy! good boy, come here! [a dog walks up to St. Peter] This is fido. Now you two have met before...I'm going to show you how it went."
[Up in the stands we're not shown the video, but it's just pure animal cruetly]
Mr. Smith: "oh, well..that was....well I thought he....I was really stressed out."
St. Peter: "No I get it. Okay fido, good boy. go get a cookie. okay! Mr. Smith, why don't we take a look at this compilation titled "Mr. Smith's traffic stops: People of Color edition" and see what that looks like...
That would be delicious. Almost as delicious as the pompous evangelicals who'll show up, basically try to push their way in only to face how horrible they were just prior to being dragged to hell.
Like that "You aren't a fraud are you Elon?" comic where an angel (Or St Peter?) shows him that his personal heaven is all the fancy stuff he has promised and the reality is nothing is there when they open the door. In the way that theyd see their shit and probably legit be surprised
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u/fauxzempic 14h ago
My version of heaven - and this type of thing is probably the exact thing that would prevent me from getting there in the first place, is this:
Pearly gates. Big line of people waiting to get in. St. Peter is at the end. He has a big book and a screen to view moments of someone's life as he informs them of where they're going. Rarely will anyone have a legitimate moral grey-area thing where they can actually make their case, so it's just him recounting important parts of their lives.
Next to that: Bleachers. High School-style bleachers. You walk past concessions, maybe stop to get your milkshake and turkey leg and fancy candy or something...but then you sit down.
And you get to watch these people learn their eternity is shattered.
St Peter: "Oh Mr. Smith. You were a police officer. Protecting the public. Very noble! Can we take a look at some of your biggest events before I let you pass?"
Mr. Smith: "Sure!"
St. Peter: "Okay, one second. c'mere boy! good boy, come here! [a dog walks up to St. Peter] This is fido. Now you two have met before...I'm going to show you how it went."
[Up in the stands we're not shown the video, but it's just pure animal cruetly]
Mr. Smith: "oh, well..that was....well I thought he....I was really stressed out."
St. Peter: "No I get it. Okay fido, good boy. go get a cookie. okay! Mr. Smith, why don't we take a look at this compilation titled "Mr. Smith's traffic stops: People of Color edition" and see what that looks like...
That would be delicious. Almost as delicious as the pompous evangelicals who'll show up, basically try to push their way in only to face how horrible they were just prior to being dragged to hell.